IL* Challenge!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

OK, you have to post to this thread in the recognisable stylee of another IL* poster.

Bonus marks if you do someone other than Gale, Marcello, or that I R bloke.

I'm setting the competition, not entering it, because I can only do Gale, Marcello, or that I R bloke.

I'm also hoping someone will post in the style of me without me noticing, which would be funny.

― DV, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MODERATOR INTERVENTION: You MUST do this with your own/usual e-mail address.

― Tom, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

u kant fuckin do me kunt.

― Vadgemonkey the Bilious One-Man Army, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ILE? It's some kind of techie bloke thing I believe, posted to by people who eat with their elbows on the table, slice bread rolls with the butter knife and wipe their faces with the hot towels in Indian restaurants ;)

― MarkH, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MONKEYS BLOWING JIF PEANUT BUTTER OUT THEIR ASS

― Pet e, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But what is the sense in this, Tom. Please explain your comments one time. If I understand correct your comment you suggest that someone would want to use not authentic e-mail address. Is this korrect? This is stupid. Like soul music and falsetto.

But what do I know anyway. I'm just a mixed-up crazy who loves acoustic guitar und Nich Drake. When you hear the twelve string don't you begin to cry a little inside, no?

― Dr. C, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

**who eat with their elbows on the table**

Yes, they do.

**and wipe their faces with the hot towels**

Cor, let me *savour* that for a moment.

**restaurants**

Steady Mike is back on *form*, I shouldn't wonder.

― Dr. C, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

V. funny. However I don't do emoticons unless it is TOTALLY unavoidable. Ha.

― Emma, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can I refer you to this thread and all the trouble it caused? It made me cry on the bus.

― Pete, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dere GOD my BRANE will EXPLODE if i do not go shopping for MOCK DUCK with Katie G this evening. If you are lucky i may even bring along the MOOMIN WHOT JOY!!!!

― see you later Sarah!, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.beverly.de/show-p/sophis.jpg

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

man alive

― ethan s, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

When you hear the twelve string don't you begin to cry a little inside, no?

Yes, oh yes! ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ahem today i travelled by CHOOB to met RT on the way I bought a new REKKORD, ah I mean CDEEE it was on PROMOTION at SISTER RAY. I haf a SPECIAL surprise for him, BOARDS OV CANADA - GEOGADDI and it's the SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION! I can't wait to see the GLEE! on his face when i gave him the CDEEE this evening, as he WOZ planning to BUY this album TOOMORROW. Horray! I LOVE the BRIGHT ORANGE cover it is so PSYCHEDELICXOR !

I haf also added a new LINK on sidebar to DJ MARTIAN as he has LINKED to STARRY Vs the ATTOMICK BRANE!! Now I will KNOW more about NEW REKKORDS than rickyT heh heh.

― DJ Martian, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, you're stressing too many wurds there DJM. You wanna link?! Why you shouldda said!

― Sarah, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The point is, Bush see the world as a series of enemies instead of a series of consciousnesses. The issue with Enron (the sort of company the humble non-corporate Japanese would call a zaibatsu ) shows how he sees the rest of the world, and Serge Gainsbourg understood this. It's a world of ambiguity, and that is how I can be a homosexual without ever having put my penis into another man (and being constantly followed by a nonsexual harem of beautiful Asian women). So I say, let's be more like Gainsbourg, and less like Bush. I know my next album will.

― ethan, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ethan wins.

― Graham, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yr all fucked

― Geoff, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this remimds me of a piece i saw at a museum in victoria where the painter painted int he style of several others all in big fuck orgy of a canvas

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to write a post in the style of Ned, but then realized that no one would notice. *pout*

― Dan Perry, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(I need to work on a distinctive style, I'm all over the place)

― j>e>l, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[PICTURE OF A BUNCHA CARS]

ANNUAL MEETING OF WOMEN DRIVERS

― Mandee, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It was an obvious mistake for Brittish Rail, and then Railtrck, to sell off valuable land in urban locations. They now lack the space for expansion and for the reintroduction of freight service, other than postal, to city centres.

― suzy, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's all about the stiletto boots. Unbelievably, I'm without a pair just now. True, I scanned the sales but couldn't *quite* face Shelley's because is staffed by Village Of The Damned. Saw a nice pair on Tracey Emin, but they're Westwood or summat, so I'm SOL. Except...there might be some at Russell and Bromley. Not Westwood, d'oh.

― Ed, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you guys are killing my brain cells. i bet you all have cameltoes.

― di, Monday, 18 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

%&&$£"£!!**!!!XOR! Ah was mendin' me little un's bike and guess who should drive past in a hUmBeR sCepTrE? Not Rick WakeXOR, not Keith EmersoXOR! It was Darth Vadar, on his way to the Metro Centre! I ran out front to start up me sInGeR gAzElLeXOR, then I remembered! I'd used t'alternatXOR to get me Moog going.

― Dr. Phay, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This reminds me of day trips to Southport in my dad's Singer Gazelle. There was a small piece of brown leather trim flapping loose from behind Dad's seat and the thought of the sunlight shining on it brings back a melancholy feeling. If only the Boo Radleys had been around back then to capture it. Still, we had Bob Latchford.

We could have taken the train instead, changing at Formby where we would have had time to stop for a Bar Six at the station cafe with a beautiful late Victorian facade.

― Dr. Jones, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

|3U7 3y3 D0 7H|5 W|V 3V3RY P057! 4M473R5Z0RZZ!!!!!

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh. I thought this thread might be about The Associates.

Does anyone else share the feeling that Billy McKenzie's talent would have been nurtured much more effectively had Dundee elected a radical Lib-Dem council in the early 1980's?

― Dr. C, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ha ha I haf no recognisable style AS ALL KNO. Frank Kogan = does a good young mark s but he iz elusive these days

Also fast computer is INSTALLED = ph34R ME ETCET.

― mark W, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lib-Dem in early '80s surely = Alliance, ergo - radical?

Also MacKenzie came out for the Tories in '87 (NME vox popstars).

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I found a copy of that NME in the loft at the weekend, Marcello. The Mackenzie piece was next to an interview with Paddy McAloon. There was an excellent free cassette with that issue too - The Kane Gang anyone?

― Dr. Dods, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Now, the Kane Gang album (I think there was only one?) I really must dig out and play again. Suspect that the prod will be too generic- '80s for my taste, but remember thinking at the time that "Gun Law" was one of the great album-opening tracks. Didn't they end up writing/producing for the Lighthouse Family?

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no Marcello, there was more than one. Coz there was one where they did a cover of "Respect Yourself" and another where they covered "Don't Look any Further" and did a song called "Motor Town". To google we must go.............

― MarkH, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kane Gang discography here!

― MarkH, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

anyone who likes the kane gang is insane

― Jeff W, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i have bought rubber shorts on ebay. they hav shit stains on them. cheer me up it makes me feel low.

― dr. ant, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i do not see why musical preferences have to classify someone as insane. this started off as a reasonable thread with coherent arguments but is now degenerating into cheap ripoff insults. please can we chill? everyone: there are bigger fish to fry in halifax.

― Four-Leaf Clover, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

**Now, the Kane Gang album (I think there was only one?) I really must dig out and play again. Suspect that the prod will be too generic- '80s for my taste, but remember thinking at the time that "Gun Law" was one of the great album-opening tracks. Didn't they end up writing/producing for the Lighthouse Family?**

Was that anyone in particular, Marcello ;)?

― Dr. C, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I R being surprised a fight R not breaking out yet like last time we R doing this.

I R also saying a0L 5UX, n3Wb13 5CuM!

― I R FatDG, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi Dave! :) You are obviously not feeling yourself today as you would otherwise not be so inconsiderate of newcomers to these boards who have different outlooks on life! You are obviously requiring spiritual uplift! You are requiring to become aware of the ingrained beauty of the world and the love of God will help you to do that! You are realising that the world is not all composed of evil, drugs and music in the garage! You are hopefully to enjoy a lovely weekend! You are not needing advising to look after your neighbours! Suppose if there were a bomb blast in your street and you were to be decapitated and mutilated in numerous other fashions! That would verse you well in compassion! You are understanding that all these things happen for a reason! You are stretching out your arms! For only God can reach you via said arms! You are a true human being! Have a good Easter!! You are making sure that your supply of bunnies is adequate! Bye! (:

― Gale Delightful, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi! We're Freed Unit and we'd just like to pop up chirpily

Jel: Yeah! I like Slayer!

― j>e>l>s, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

GALE YOU BITCH I HOPE YOU DIE AAAARGH OH CHRIST NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

― Il Duce, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That was very poor.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what does anyone think of emperor fastfax 'urban alien' ? i've never heard it. is it like d.j umlaut's 'army and navy vol.8' and should i buy it?

― Dr. G, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

R Emperor fastfax a paedophile like Belle & Sebastian fans R being?

― FatDG, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I know. I'm not very good at this game.

― Sam, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

mentalist/instabile => marXoR off the purnicked punDITS, no? => relationship v. id => not explaining (explan in pantEhose) heh heh but novocastriana looooOSis a bunch of rite <= 4nickers/gee fr k but cannotOxCoX in the bestiary hm?

― playing with mufflers on their speakers, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

British proletarian culture always has had a contradictory and difficult relationship to the countryside and rural affairs. The old Scargillian socially conservative working-class culture (and even those on the right who broke off to form the SDP, but *not* the Lib Dems) generally felt a residual hostility to rural affairs and its associated Tory Party / Countryside Alliance / Telegraph / Mail / Times axis. This flowed into the resolutely urban character of punk and its ingrained hostility to romantic view of the countryside, XTC and Fairport Convention.

― Robin C. (who knows I admire him really), Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, oh yes! ;-)

I have my doubts.

I was going to write a post in the style of Ned, but then realized that no one would notice. *pout*

Nicely done.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 255 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

ha ha Matt! I missed this the first time.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

HI DERE!

― AmazingRandy, Friday, 5 March 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

WHAT!

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 5 March 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

i was down loftus rd on sat to see qpr draw 1-1 with stockport - danny shittu was total slick badboy motherfucker in defence u get me? but i was well pissed off because we queued for twenty minutes for pies and ting and then the game kicked off half an hour late and i missed getting down to independance in time for my crackhead riddim fix - that is libs! so anyway i was on my way back home and then my phone rang and my mate was like "come, we await you in the pub for Juve Milan" but i thought i'd come back here first and tell you all that i think Stelfox is a cunt.

― primafassy (Matt DC), Monday, 19 April 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I've tracked down Fred from The Cigarettes and there's simply no chance that 'Best Bitter Tales' will ever be reissued. He says that it feels right to leave it as it is - i.e one half of the split 7" flexi (limited edition of 73 copies) with Lincoln's The Frogs. I own 38 of these flexis by the way and last Saturday I met a guy from Cincinatti whose brother owns 6 more. As a 5th grader in 1979, I was really impressed by this record and I always wanted to live in Lincoln. Still do.

― alka selzer (Dr. C), Monday, 19 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

uh.

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 19 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Zemko - I was at that game too! I sat in the Q Block in a Fulham No.9 shirt. I don't even like Fulham, but I'd bought especially just to annoy people. Miserable bunch down at QPR, aren't they? Shit ground, good pies. I had three mince and onion pies, followed by a chicken pastie and finished off with meat pie for good measure. No bouze though, Vicky says I've got to stay healthy for the wedding. We're getting a fresh consignment of horse in especially.

― chrisbrassica (Matt DC), Monday, 19 April 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

what?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I am touched that there is, after all, upthread, a halfdecent, if scanty, parody of me on ilx.

There have been parodies of me before, but in my view they have all been poor.

Naturally the Doc impresses again, on rereading the thread. His abilities can be little less than uncanny. Perhaps that means he's trés canny.

Yet let us recognize too DC's contributions and talents. Perhaps we will never look at him the same way again. Perhaps we never did.

― the linefox, Monday, 19 April 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a list of good bands from this weeks Stylus. I think it's an interesting take on things. What do you think?

1. Radiohead
2. Primal Scream
3. Arab Strap
4. The Pixies
5. New Order
6. The Strokes
7. Talk Talk
8. David Bowie
9. The Beatles

Oh wait, we couldn't think of 10. Can you help think of another one for us?

― Prik Mouthall (Dr. C), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

uncanny!

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 19 April 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, LilJon - he's on a track with Usher and Ludacris. So he must be good, then. I don't know, I had to go and make dinner for my mum and dad and missed the whole thing, but he's probably not as good as Bearsuit. GOOD GOD WHY AM I FORCED TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS SHITE EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY?! I am very unhappy with this.

Here's a picture of an indie girl that I fancy instead.

http://www.lazylinepainterpage.hpg.ig.com.br/imagens/isobel9.jpg

― William Bloody Swyggart (Matt DC), Monday, 19 April 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Kate! The boy and I are coming to London on Saturday! ON THE TRAIN! We will buy handbags. Mwah Kate. Love you!

― pinky panfer (Dr. C), Tuesday, 20 April 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't bloody go because HSA was 10 minutes late home on Friday and I was sick with anxiety. He tells me the bus broke down, but I know he WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE. I could tell as soon as I saw him. Then he played his theremin all night in a sulk and DIDN'T SPEAK to me once. I WANT A NEW BOYFRIEND!

― Qweeny-kayte (Dr. C), Tuesday, 20 April 2004 06:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Couldn't make it either. I bumped into Tracey (Emin) in Starbucks and she whisked me off to Stella McCartney's bash in Milan. There we met Jarvis's divine new PR, Gideon, who knows, like, everyone.

― Soozi (Dr. C), Tuesday, 20 April 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

eleven months pass...

revive

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Monday, 21 March 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

I've been trying to finish up this screenplay, so I've been smoking a lot lately. Which is probably not good, but as I was taking a drag last night at the computer, I suddenly remembered this gardener that worked for my friends Melissa and Steve's parents when I was about 10 or 11. I would go over to their house during the summer and we'd play hopscotch on their driveway, drawing the "board" with different colored chalk that would sometimes crumble in your hand. Anyway, this gardener's name was Carlos, and I was never sure, but I think he was Colombian. Or maybe I just wanted him to be, because I felt this affinity for him right away. He was always very brown from the sun, and I can still picture his sweat-stained undershirt and nylon shorts, and this vague sense of mystery about him. He always seemed very strong and wise. Years later, my mom told me he died in an auto accident.

― Remy (not remy) (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

There's no one at the news desk today, except this woman who's been on the phone ALL DAY and laughing in this really annoying way. Oh also, someone stole my lunch. Thanks. I hate this job. I would leave right now, except it is approximately - 80 degrees outside right now.

― Huk-shmuk (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

this wz a funny thread!!

― mark s... (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

i hate this thread

― not jess but other people impersonating jess on this thread (jaymc), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

I'm flattered, jmc, and impressed! But your comma usage is too good. To really get the Remy-essence, you have to sprinkle in at least 3x too many commas, or apostrophes (I call 'em leaky periods'), right?

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 21 March 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

(Wow, this thread that loomed large in the legend of Dr. C actually exists and lives up to its billing and then some!)

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 21 March 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― rgj (nostudium), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 07:08 (twenty years ago)

i think, about, this thread

― Mr. Harvey Weinstein (mr harvey weinstein), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

Dr C ain't all that, just face it. Yes, this thread is all very fancy and tippy tappy but I wouldn't like to see him up against some proper hard 80s-style parody. Brittle as fuck, I'm telling you.

Chelsea are overrated as well. If it wasn't for Cech, Cudicini, Terry, Carvalho, Gallas, Ferreira, Lampard, Cole, Duff, Robben, Makelele, Kezman, Drogba and Gudjohnsen they'd be shite. Not to mention that oil-baron mafioso funnelling cash in stolen cash made from the blood and sweat of crushed Lilliputians, all of this with Thatcher's full support, I might add. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Anyway, I'd better get on - I'm off to rant on Five Live about how shit the tea at the FA is. Then I've got to speak in front of 500 football league delegates on the subject of how to bring down the filthy capitalist pigdogs, erm, I mean increase gate numbers at lower league grounds throughout the country. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit nervous, last time I arrived after my mate's stag night with seconds to spare only to later realise I'd spoken in front of the entire Premier League with the words I AM A CUNT written on my forehead in biro. I blame Urs Meier.

PS - France were shit.

― Dave_B (Matt DC), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

has ilx died?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 10:07 (twenty years ago)

Some time ago.

I R missing Fat Nick.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 22 March 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

Looking over this thread, I can't even tell who's being lampooned half the time.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 June 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

Hasn't this thread been done already?

No, really. Hasn't it?

― At least two dozen regular posters (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 10 June 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

(I think I understood most of them, but a lot of them are UK-based which might be difficult for some on this side)

― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 10 June 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

I like this thread.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 10 June 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

hey GARETH and MARCELO and TIM HOPKINS! mcghee just sent me all captain and tenille's lps on poptones does music get any better call me xx

suzy lets drink frapuccino. i love my girl.

― moodie (Dr. C), Saturday, 11 June 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

Rah for Dr. C, a fine fellow indeed :)

― red nagget (ailsa), Saturday, 11 June 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

Hey! My icons have a nose! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 11 June 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

Sorry! I'm not a professional like Dr. C.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 11 June 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

Aw, fret not. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 11 June 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

well is it?

― marc growt (Dr. C), Saturday, 11 June 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Punk died on November 14th 1979, or at least what you youngsters call punk. Or you would have called punk if you youngsters were old enough to have been around in the heyday of *punk*. Or put it this way : there's nothing wrong with having more than one idea of what punk is or was, depending on your perspective. One old accountant's idea of punk is surely another man's poison. Or if you like, punk with the punkiness taken out. To me, punk means puking up in a litter bin outside the Roundhouse in 1977, after seeing The Damned, The Cortinas and Chelsea. What does it mean to you?

― Spewart Ozz-Born (Dr. C), Saturday, 11 June 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Oh Dooms darling, tres busy at the mo, working on you know what for (whisper it)you know who. You should call Jess, my friend Hugo's PA, she might be able to spare 5 minutes if you want to chat with someone. She knows someone who once took a photograph of Jarvis, so there's an opening. Bye!

― Snuzey (Dr. C), Saturday, 11 June 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Suzy, sorry I haven't returned your call - I've run out of credit due to not being paid for the last five years. Also I feel like a pub carpet wrapped in satin. I didn't get home until 4am last night and I fell over and landed in a bin in front of the bass player from the Von Bondies. Then this morning a stranger asked if he could have sex with me so I beat him to death with my handbag. I bet this never happens to Zoe Williams.

― Annnnna (Matt DC), Saturday, 11 June 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

The point is, Bush see the world as a series of enemies instead of a series of consciousnesses. The issue with Enron (the sort of company the humble non-corporate Japanese would call a zaibatsu ) shows how he sees the rest of the world, and Serge Gainsbourg understood this. It's a world of ambiguity, and that is how I can be a homosexual without ever having put my penis into another man (and being constantly followed by a nonsexual harem of beautiful Asian women). So I say, let's be more like Gainsbourg, and less like Bush. I know my next album will.
-- ethan (ethan...), February 18th, 2002.

This might still be the post of the thread, even with much goodness since.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 11 June 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

ha - as children we never watched wimbledon because dad lost the television in 1965. we found it under a pile of books in 1994.

-- dr.sinkah (Daveatcrossdee...), July 2nd, 2003 7:36 PM.

This made me lose my shit first time I read it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 11 June 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

STOP PRESS. Portsmouth have just signed :

Roy Carroll
Deco
Lee Bowyer
Peter Crouch (again!)
Robbie Keane
Jan Koller
Paul Dickov
Jonathan Stead
Barry Ferguson
Duncan Ferguson
Les Ferdinand
Ronaldo (useful option up front)
Ronaldinho (ditto)
Scott Parker
Bobby Charlton
Julian Dicks (our kind of player)
Julian Clary
Darth Vadar
Matt DC
Terry Hurlock
Dennis Wise
Teddy Sheringham
Tony Cascarino
Pavel Nedved
George Best
John Fashanu
Bill Beaumont
Vladimir Smicer
Vlad The Impaler (competing with Hurlock for the anchor-man spot)
Mark Sinker
Isabelle Huppert
Thora Hird
Kenny G
The Bay City Rollers

see the news here on http://www.footballtalkingbollocks.com

― DJ Arsian (Dr. C), Saturday, 11 June 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

Nedved? No fucking chance. What use would that cunt be on a wet Tuesday in Bolton?

― Dave Boil (Dr. C), Sunday, 12 June 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

Pub carpet wrapped in satin?

― Anna (Anna), Sunday, 12 June 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

Now my sodding manager has got me working a 19 hour stretches without even time for a dunny break. Sheesh! AND I don't get to claim any fucking overtime! Some dealio. Aw sod 'em.

― twayce (Dr. C), Monday, 13 June 2005 08:29 (twenty years ago)

i got up early and was punching weights in front of the new dr who (er indoors said don't) when i dropped a glass glass of juice i'd bended in my new juice-o-maqtic. and it shattered all over my xtc box set. i blame john fuckwit howard.

― crankypantser (bulbs), Monday, 13 June 2005 08:36 (twenty years ago)

*astonished*

― neddy (bulbs), Monday, 13 June 2005 08:37 (twenty years ago)

*roffle*

― haitcher (bulbs), Monday, 13 June 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

It's pretty obvious that The Labour Party should ditch Crossrail and commission a cross-London maglev line using rolling stock based on the TGV's Class 11B Euroliners. Greenhouse emissions could be minimized using Deutsche-Bahn Type 49 locomotives, converted to run on compost. The compost would be provided by a London-wide initiative in which human and animal waste would be collected and dispatched to a purpose-built depot on the site of the old Jubilee-line platforms at Charing Cross. The main aim would be to get a direct route from Hoxton to Berne (via the Simplon Tunnel) with a journey time of just under three hours. A free bicycle link would be provided at the other end.

― Ted (Dr. C), Monday, 13 June 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.