Who's Got the 10½?

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I have never measured my dick. Have you?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So inevitable, this thread.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

KIRA'S GOT THE TEN AND A HALF!!! KIRA'S GOT THE TEN AND A HALF!!!!

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Heh heh heh. Didn't Rollins claim he had next to nothing? Was he in fact not being ironic?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do people really measure? Really?!

― Paul Strange, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, I have.

― Sean, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And the result was... ???

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I always wondered where you actually measured from? Is there an International Standard from where dick measuring should begin, or can I start the tape measure from halfway up my back?

― Bill E, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely the correct question is, 'have you ever measured someone else's dick?'

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned: Yes.

Kate: 6.5"

― Sean, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's actually what I was asking - have you ever measured my dick?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, well in that case, no.

― Sean, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, unlucky you.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And are dicks properly measured while limp or erect? Never could figure that one out, either. Probably because I've ::shockingly:: never had a dick!

I mean, what can women measure to compete? It's no fun measuring breasts, cause you do that every time you buy a bra.

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate: erect, natch!

― Sean, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

girls are supposed to have cunt lengths - ie measure how much of a ruler they can take. Me - I used to measure in my teens, and give myself extra centimetres by pushing the ruler into my pubes a bit harder, these days it's a healthy 6 or 7 inches, last time I looked.

― Geoff, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This all puts me in mind of a favorite L7 lyric -- "Got so much clit she don't need no balls."

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A ruler? Ow, that would hurt. My ruler is one of those wooden ones with the metal edges, I'm not sticking *that* anywhere... or maybe I could just check myself into the hospital afterwards, claiming my injuries were due to wearing thong knickers...

OK, that was a new low, even for me!

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Me too. I don't think I'm doing myself any favors on the Housemate thread.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

6 or 7 inches? Which is it? An inch is a penile mile. My cock isnt very big, but my freinds' is. I think mine is more wide than long. If that helps any. Mine is like 5.5 inches.

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If yours is more wide than long and you're 5'5" long, then the images conjured are...intriguing.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have always been secure enough in my masculinty that i did not need to mesure my cock.

― anthony, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeh, I measured my dick once and... wait I'm not telling you! It's my online perSONA that hasn't measured his dick. Because my online persona is exTREMEly secure in his masculinity, thanks.

I have always heard that Ed Begley Jr. had the biggest dick in Hollywood. Whether that's true or not it does give Google another hit on "biggest dick in hollywood", and I can't help but titter now when I see him in anything.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus christ.

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, he's probably hung like a horse, being the son of God and all.

― David Raposa, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

when i was an alter boy, I always used to wonder what was hanging under the loin cloth - oh mike, it's just over 6, last time I looked/measured

― Geoff, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

dick measuring = frightening reversal of Panopticon

"penile mile" extremely disturbing

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

All this talk can only lead to penis envy. Anyway it's not how big it is, it's how wide that counts. (About the width of an Eddie & the HotRods single FWIW)

― Billy Dods, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A grower not a shower, as Josh from Big Brother put it...

― Andrew L, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A mate of mine who always gets psychotic chatty minicab drivers was in the front seat of one once when the driver started banging on about his huge cock. He (driver) had his hand on the gearstick and insisted that my mate try to put his fingers around his wrist. Which he did. 'That is the girth'says the driver smugly. And adds that his brother's is 'a monster' which caused his wife to leave him because of its monstrous proportions.

― Emma, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is there, like, a clause in minicab drivers' contracts that says that have to be psychotic and chatty? Or is it just that psychotics are the only people drawn to becoming minicab drivers?

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Prolly. I once got in one on my own back from a club (yeah yeah I know it's dangerous but my mates put me in it and kept calling all the way home on my moby to check I was unraped and unmurdered) and in order to diminish the likelihood of being attacked I struck up a conversation with the cabbie (on the grounds that if he gets to know me and see me as a human being he is less likely to attack me). We had a very weird conversation about the correct way to make tea and coffee, I think he was Turkish so we had a bit of a cross-cultural exchange. Another one picked me up and then gave me a lecture about young girls standing round on street corners at night and went on to explain that I'd be alright with white men but some of 'the others' would think it was OK to attack me. Right on, Mr MiniCab Driver. Jesus.

― Emma, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I won't get in a minicab by myself, because of weird shit like that. Even Paul has had really bad problems, riding in them by himself. Hell, I have a hard enough time getting in black cabs by myself, I'm just have a pathological phobia about taxis for some reason. Yeah, erm, getting in a car with strange men, I think that's the phobia.

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've had quite a few problems, almost exclusive on the way to or from DJing. One particularly scary moment:

Driver: So you're a DJ, right? Me: Yes. Driver: And you just finished playing, right? Me: Yes. Driver: So you must've been paid a lot of money. Which you have on you now. Me: Er.... (Doors lock centrally) Driver: If I took your money no-one would know! Me: Until I called the police from this mobile phone...

Had a couple of other bad moments, too. Usually involving being taken places I don't want to go. ('This is Brixton, not Farringdon!!!')

― Paul Strange, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didnt mean it s wider than it is long you buffoon! I have had tow can drivers fight over me. It was fun becasue I didnt have to do the fighting.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Towcan drivers? Did they have, like coloured beaks and everything? Wow, just like Fruit Loops!!!

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dear God, Kate. The mental image of Toucan Sam clones fighting over Mike's Instrument Of Doom has left me incapacitated.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Two cab drivers. God must you all crucify me for my typos! you rats!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Follow yer nose... it always knows!!!

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What I'd like to know is the context of the two cab drivers wanting to fight over Mike and his meat in the first place.

[SCENE: Boston in the evening. Drunkeness emerging from local bars. MIKE HANLEY stands on street corner.]

MIKE: "Hm! I need a ride, but no cab will stop for me."

[MIKE unfurls pants and drops his underwear. Two cabs immediately stop and their DRIVERS emerge.]

CAB DRIVER #1: "I'll have some of that! Free ride for you, son!"

CAB DRIVER #2: "Bastard! He's mine! *AND* I'll make him breakfast!"

[Cue fighting.]

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In the immortal words of my mother, If he is bringing coffee and donuts in the morning does he need a tray ?

― anthony, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Reading the stories about nasty psycho London cabbies and thinking to self, that as nasty and psycho as they are, none of them holds a candle to New York cabbies. Sticking it to the cabbies was about the only thing that Rudy Giuliani has done of which I approved -- nothing like a fascist asshole to put other fascist assholes in their place, I say.)

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually it was like this. We ordered a taxi by phone but then we flagged down this one we thought was the one we ordered and we got in but then the real one came and he we got out and got in his and the first one was pissed! he jumped out and was screaming! But our cabbie attacked back. Then I showed em the cock and they began groovin to "Boomin System " by L L and rockin back n forth.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mike, YOU ARE MY HERO.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(stands proudly in the sun, cape flappin g in wind, teeth gleaming) See you later , and remember, just signal me by exploding a cow when you need me!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i've got 12 inches, but i don't use it as a rule.

― duane, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MIKE IS A TART.

― Dave M., Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We should go metric, all men will get an ego boost.

― james e l, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Its not my ego that needs the boosting

― Mike Hanley, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three months pass...

i have a four foot veenerschnitchel

― mucka lucka, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

stop bringing these old monster threads to life!

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

That made me laugh out loud TWICE. That's impressive.

― Maria, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

God bless you random thread.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 16 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine stays curled up inside my body, and I can unfurl extra inches as needed, like a snail emerging from its shell.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

New answers, pls! LOL!!!! U R ALL...!

(x post, ugh)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I see this thread title, I get a mental image of Brak singing it. Then I cry.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah nick, mines interchangeable. I've got a few sizes in the repitoire, I've got the 10 incher, the fat cock, the needle dick.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

This might help you right now, Sarah:

I know what you want, and I know what you need
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am

I'm goin' take you out, and leave my wallet home
Then I use your cell phone, baby
Long distance, and I'm your boyfriend

Baby I know I'm a man who's made mistakes
I still got some learning to do
I made out with your best friend the other day, and
Now we're best friends too
Yeah Yeah

And I know what you want, and I know what you need
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am

And I'm goin' get you a gift, Hey! But its something I like too
Hope you like this Norelco Beard trimmer with my name on it,
And I'm your boyfriend

Goin' Get real drunk,
And call my baby up at four o'clock in the morning
Wake you up
I'm an idiot!

Pick up the phone, come on
I love you
Lets get in my dad's SUV,
And we'll go over to my house, my crib, my pad
I'll tell my mom to go to sleep
Then we'll have the living room all to ourselves, you see
We'll put on some great DVD's I picked up
How bout like, something like the Matrix

Ooooo
Ahhhhh

I can turn my boom box up, and make the bass
Smack the side of my moms couch
Yeah!

Hey baby you like fine cooking? Cause you know what?
I got a swanson's dinner in the freezer with your name on it
Check it out

Yeah!

I got a permanent wave, yeah!
I got an ogilvie home perm, baby

Uh! I Honk the horn can you honk the horn?
Can you honk the horn?
Let me hear you honk it! Come on!

Let me hear you say uh uh!
Let me hear you say uh uh uh!
Let me see you say uh uh!
Let me hear you say uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah!
Let me hear you say uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah!

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally, Jimmy Fallon helps no one. He is Satan.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000000M0S.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

whoopsy i didn't see kate's post

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

good times

― kephm, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 17:30 (twenty years ago)

I know someone who measured against a 7" vinyl single.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:22 (twenty years ago)

but did he use the insert

why not use the sleeve? why not?

― kephm (kephm), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:23 (twenty years ago)

No, I have never done this.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:28 (twenty years ago)

"An inch is a penile mile" - what a fantastic phrase.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:36 (twenty years ago)

a friend (female) measured me once.

― dysøn (dyson), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 19:57 (twenty years ago)

You are so decadent, dyson.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:00 (twenty years ago)

Get those cocks out of your eyes.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:00 (twenty years ago)

He thought the sleeve would be that tiny bit larger and didn't want to appear any more inadequate than absolutely necessary? I don't know.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 28 September 2004 20:40 (twenty years ago)

You can use a dollar bill to measure things if you don't have a ruler. (Dollar bills are a little more than five inches long.)

Sorry, I just felt like posting that.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:09 (twenty years ago)

i'm never touching dollar bills again

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:15 (twenty years ago)

They've got blood and cocaine all over them anyway, what difference do a few dickflakes make?

― Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:19 (twenty years ago)

"Dickflakes" is my new favorite word.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:26 (twenty years ago)

dickflakes vs bootyflakes

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:41 (twenty years ago)

you know, i've honestly never even thought about doing this

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 02:43 (twenty years ago)

give it a go, jess

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 04:05 (twenty years ago)

g-ff wins! I printed that and hung it on my door!

― {Sand in the [vaseline} on the lens] (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 04:13 (twenty years ago)

IF I WERE PRESIDENT, EVERY MAN WOULD BE ON ENZYTE FROM BIRTH

― $CORPIUMvc, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 04:59 (twenty years ago)

I don't believ eyou, JEss.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 05:00 (twenty years ago)

my ex girlfriend wanted to measure it once.

― splooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 06:18 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.cinemapassion.com/covers/Magnitude_10_5-14250814112004.jpg

― gershy, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 07:17 (seventeen years ago)

le "Big One"

― gershy, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 07:23 (seventeen years ago)

I only measure it by how much joy it has brought to others.

― nicky lo-fi, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 09:25 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.dimmockhill.com/ping/g5offset.jpg

― bobby bedelia, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:35 (seventeen years ago)

guys what the hell

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago)

tracer has started two threads ostensibly about dick size or how to make a dick look bigger.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago)

I have never posted on this thread. Whew.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:47 (seventeen years ago)

it's not about lady parts

― blueski, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:52 (seventeen years ago)

That's why I said whew, so my little ruse will continue and no one will know I'm gay.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:54 (seventeen years ago)

"little ruse"

― blueski, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago)

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