NOEL COWARD is Striding Down K-Street DC MCMXL The Centre for Professional Alcoholics

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That mid section is getting out of hand and making nordic balackberry browsing a pain. This week your roving member will mainly be posting from Helsinki.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/229/447431232_3321788f18.jpg?v=0

My caddy has got the wriong srink again and will be fired if he is not careful.

― Ed, Monday, 9 April 2007 06:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/215/450701326_0f44e57ae1.jpg?v=0

― Ed, Monday, 9 April 2007 06:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bluecrumbtruck.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/Tclub.gif

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Monday, 9 April 2007 09:52 (nineteen years ago)

I PIMP MYSELF STILL (same song as before)

― HI DERE, Monday, 9 April 2007 11:24 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLQRv0RjBBM lol

― HI DERE, Monday, 9 April 2007 11:50 (nineteen years ago)

mornin everyone

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

Hullo

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 April 2007 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

Oh BTW ghost I was reminded of some of your grand earlier work over here last night.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 April 2007 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/196/452330681_53383e0151.jpg

― Ed, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

noel coward? guys, rly?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

"CENTRE"?

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

lolz

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Lemmy is our mayor?

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

fear my correct application of english spelling

― Ed, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

i go to bed and behave even vaguely reasonably for one night and everything goes straight to hell around here.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

i mean, he's awesome in the italian job

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

we didn't spend three thankless goddamn years bogged down in korea to just go appending e's to the ends of words all willy nilly

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

ye olde pretzele walrus

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

oh man that just reminds me of my friend craig

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

does it now?

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

Alex I have always hated tats, never wanted a tat, don't like them, and that said--your new tat is pretty awesome.

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

plus Hawkeye OTM

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

yeah there was a pretty funny time he blew up at some crazy tenant of ours. this dude just kept insisting that we gave him a used stove, like really insanely ranting about it, and wouldn't let it go for months, even though it really clearly wasn't a used stove. SOOOO after a while of this the guy decides to PRETEND THERE'S A FIRE IN THE BUILDING to get us to come over to his place so he can talk about this stupid stove some more and craig just started screaming at him, "where would i even get a used stove on the fucking upper west side? ye olde shite shoppe?" and the guy just looked stunned and kind of actually considered this and was like, "you're right, sorry about all this" and went back inside and we never heard from him again, at least not until the next week when he became convinced the stove was old and used again.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

fuckin old people

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

thanks mw

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

also lolz at our april thread making it through eight whole magical days

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

zr, it's actually may now. hate to tell you.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

cool, am i dead yet?

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

no, that's planned for july.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

no my birthday is in july that would ruin my birthday

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

ok, well we can reschedule for maybe august or september, whichever works best for you, mw.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

just saying i don't want to be in indie rock mourning on my bday

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

fine, august is my final offer. september is unacceptable; i'm not makin it to 25

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

alright, does the 17th work for you?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

indie rock mourning would pretty much just mean my eulogy'd be something like "zack was pretty awesome for the first few years, but eh, the later stuff's kinda lame"

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

...fairly otm, actually!

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

awww c'mon dude

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

fine fine the 17th! get off my back already!

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

indie rock mourning would pretty much just mean my eulogy'd be something like "zack was pretty awesome for the first few years, but eh, the later stuff's kinda lame"

-- pretzel walrus, Monday, April 9, 2007 10:07 AM (36 seconds ago)

no it would mean hoisting beers and listening to On The Mouth on repeat. Also I just noticed for the first time this weekend that On The Mouth can be shortened to=OTM

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha "yeah the first pretzel walrus ep is awesome, but after that the dude just fell into a wormhole of repetition."

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

oh wait the 17th doesn't work for me, i plan to die in july actually. sorry, i guess you have to live.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

WHATS UP PROM

― 69, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

LOOKS LIKE SOME OF YOU HAVE A CASE OF "THE MONDAYS"

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

I'm having a case of "wish I'd brought twice as much quiche for breakfast" but then I'd be in a food coma instead of at my desk doing some werk. C'est la vie.

― Laurel, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

Primary Responsibilities/Objectives:

* Roam office entertaining employees
* Plan and execute parties and happy hours
* Participate in all company meetings and gatherings as an interstitial speaker
* Function as office DJ, managing/programming the office sound system. Manage musical requests efficiently, while keeping the office bumping.
* Order pizza for Pizza Day
* Construct complex balloon animals
* Care and feeding of the office monkey, Dr. Zaius

Core Competencies:

* Current on all reality TV
* Pop Culture expert, able to postulate about Season 3 of Lost
* Always at the ready with a quip or comeback.
* Equally comfortable in a jester cap and bear suit
* MS Excel
* Proven game room skills as a formidable adversary in Halo, Ms. Pacman and Bubble Hockey; ability to convincingly let management win on occasion.
* Juggle chainsaws, bowling balls, and one item of your choosing
* Have >50 answers to knock-knock jokes, at least half of which must be funny
* Can tap a keg on the first try
* Can chug beer, shotgun beer, guzzle beer, snort beer, play beer pong, flip cup, 3 man, do beer bongs, beer cheers, keg stands, and bluegills with the best of them

Preferred Qualities:

* Tall or short but we prefer that you not be of average height, as it’s not as funny
* Crazy hair
* Annoying and easily recognizable laugh
* Friends with at least one B list celebrity. (No reality contestants)
* Experience in three of the following: Stand up, Street mime, rally racing, horticulture, pottery, rapping, paragliding, cattle ranching, roller skiing, ballet, actual break dancing/popping, ice fishing, chess
* Blood type AB (or equivalent)
* Ability to type 90 words a minute, replacing all vowels with various forms of smileys

^^^^^^^^^^^^ i have finally found the job for me

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

guys i am v bummed, the zoo had a job that actually would be one i could do but the closing date was last thurs ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

what is "bluegills"?

― 69, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

the heat is on in my office and now it kinda smells like marijuana. i wonder what the cleaning crew is doing in the basement. or rather, i wonder if they're doing it right now or if this is residual?

― chicago kevin, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

ok so yeah i sort of had the best saturday night of my recent life with my ukranian amy - we went to a really, really awful bar in columbia full of people 5-10 yrs older than us tryna do the suburban pickup scene thing (which, wow, is depressing and hilarious) and saw a jazz-funk band called pocket protector that absolutely covered "red house," then tried to stalk a friend of ours who didn't answer the door even though his light was on and his car was in the driveway, then decided "eh, fuck it," hotboxed my car in a church parking lot and drove around for two and a half hours jamming tunes.

POLL: what is the most ridiculous/awesome col. street name we encountered?

a) burnt arrow
b) newgrange garth
c) dragon's beard
d) morning mews
e) spiral cut

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 4877 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Dude. Why did you go back to the gun thread?

More to the point, why did I go back to the gun thread?

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 02:24 (nineteen years ago)

Is Tori Amos into cockfighting?

― milo z, Friday, 20 April 2007 02:26 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, I just thought it would be funny.

― John Justen, Friday, 20 April 2007 02:30 (nineteen years ago)

from xmas 2005 to spring of 2006 i went on a big johnnie walker kick until i remembered scotch was my mom's drink of choice. that kind of soured the taste for me.

having said that, my friends are the best friends in the world. seriously.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 20 April 2007 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

8080 :D

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 05:37 (nineteen years ago)

I MADE THIS SO WE COULD ALL GET THROUGH THESE TROUBLING TIMES:

http://a390.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/14/l_32432cf98992edea1238021984abce85.jpg

― John Justen, Friday, 20 April 2007 05:46 (nineteen years ago)

ALSO:

http://a455.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/29/l_d478fae298eaa7e9984a0710ce08bc0e.jpg

― John Justen, Friday, 20 April 2007 06:20 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I should probably go to sleep now.

― John Justen, Friday, 20 April 2007 06:21 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, one more.

http://a643.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/58/l_da4a74ab8d0346a4347829236b662d4a.jpg

― John Justen, Friday, 20 April 2007 06:34 (nineteen years ago)

god bless

― river wolf, Friday, 20 April 2007 07:35 (nineteen years ago)

John Justen: Gentlteman, Scholar and Total Bro

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/LolCatRenderer.aspx?top=BLOOD+FUCKING+DIAMONDS+BROS&bottom=BLOOD+FUCKING+DIAMONDS&size=30&imagename=PLEESEKITTAH.jpg&front=%23ffffff&back=%23000000&fontfamily=Impact&dropshadow=False&outline=True&bold=False&underline=False&italic=False&imagesize=default&topalign=Left&bottomalign=Right

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

ok, yaaaaaow? is perfect

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

fat pets 4 life

― I DIED, Friday, 20 April 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

[Removed Illegal Image]

― Ed, Friday, 20 April 2007 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/drinkin-island-is-inside-each-of-us-my-son.jpg

― Ed, Friday, 20 April 2007 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.landmarkfilms.com/images/prodpics/fat.jpg

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

I love you all. </Ned>

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

that's not archie

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://a643.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/58/l_da4a74ab8d0346a4347829236b662d4a.jpg

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

i basically just want to repost that as many times as possible

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

i love that

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

8080 blood diamond kitten

― elmo argonaut, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

kitten is quality

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

chicago is beating us in obnoxiousness, we should have three active threads on new answers

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

maybe we should have an actual new thread though, seeing as how this one has about seven million responses and is pretty much impossible to keep up with if you can't check it every three seconds

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

seconded

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

chicago is beating us in obnoxiousness, we should have three active threads on new answers

dude that's not a title you want.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

also that "centre" thing really sticks in my craw

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

THIS IS OUR COUNTRY

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

ok ok so then start a new thread, dudes. no one is stopping you!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

then why u spelling like a britishes, ZR

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

pretzel walrus what's the likelihood of you bro-ing down in chicago in august? and when is quincie coming here again? this month? may?

― chicago kevin, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

she'll be there next weekend

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

THIS IS OUR COUNTRY

Your country, OUR LANGUAGE, thieving scunners.

― Ed, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

she will show you all how to take a phone in the mouth

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

hott

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

tori amos fans are children of a lesser god

― kenan, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

dear everyone,

please click on the crab goalkeeper thread and watch the trailer. thank you.

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:39 (nineteen years ago)

[Removed Illegal Link]

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

lolz

NEW THREAD HERE: http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=53303#unread

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

Black People Be Bondin' On Chartered Transportation: DC i

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

oh fuck, i have made us into Chicago

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

hahahaha

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

really, though, this is the best thread.

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

i'll never forget this thread, it is a classic

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

we are so awesome

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

i can't remember any other DC thread titles

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.chron.com/apps/comics/images/2007/4/20/For_Better_Or_Worse.590.g.gif

― 69, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

ten years pass...

TS: junkies vs alcoholics

― zlstrz (calstars), Wednesday, 14 March 2018 00:15 (eight years ago)

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