This just in: Rice Krispies too buoyant

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Seriously, I am so fucking sick of having to go and get more milk halfway through a bowl of Rice Krispies. Or else shave the inside of my mouth with dry broken rice shards, even if the pain ends with the glorious cooling off caused by the last soggy pieces of rice which are heavy with absorbed cold milk.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 10:52 (eighteen years ago)

i eat some fancy dan organic nutty crunchy honeyed cereal thing lately. i like to add chopped banana but because i'm a freak i don't add milk to the bowl but just pour it in a mug and drink on the side.

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

I... can't... tell... if that is a... joke?

― Sarah, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

You prefer your cereal soggy to crunchy = you are a menk.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

And should perhaps be locked up.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

They never used to float so well. Are you using enough milk to start with?

― NickB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:02 (eighteen years ago)

do i look like i am joking, Sarah?

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:02 (eighteen years ago)

it's a shame those bowls split into two parts (one for milk, one for the cereal) never really took off (OR DID THEY?).

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:03 (eighteen years ago)

He looked sceptically at the cut of cheese. He turned it over on its back to see was the other side any better. The other side was worse. They had laid it better side up, they had practised that little deception. Who shall blame them? He rubbed it. It was sweating. That was something. He stooped and smelt it. A faint fragrance of corruption. What good was that? He didn't want fragrance, he wasn't a bloody gourmet, he wanted a good stench. What he wanted was a good green stenching rotten lump of gorgonzola cheese, alive, and by God he would have it.

He looked fiercely at the grocer.

"What's that?" he demanded.

The grocer writhed.

"Well," demanded Belacqua, he was without fear when roused, "is this the best you can do?"

"In the length and breadth of Dublin," said the grocer, "you won't find a rottener bit this minute."

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:03 (eighteen years ago)

They never used to float so well. Are you using enough milk to start with?

they rise proudly on the sea of milk. if by hand of man it grows too high, they crash against the rocks of the worktop and kitchen floor.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:05 (eighteen years ago)

You could always try playing that game when the Rice Krispies are drowning sailors and you are a vengeful Poseidon?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:07 (eighteen years ago)

Are they giving sufficient snap, crackle and pop?

― NickB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:07 (eighteen years ago)

Over-milky cereal is far worse than not enough! Adding more milk is not a problem, being left with horribly milky slosh in the bottom of your bowl is just horrible.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:08 (eighteen years ago)

in addition to cereal sog, if the milk was able to retain the same coolness throughout it might not be so bad.

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:10 (eighteen years ago)

Ronan, your obsession with cereal is... worrying...

― kv_nol, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:11 (eighteen years ago)

Do you measure the temperature of your milk with a thermometer whilst eating?!! xpost to MADnion there

― Sarah, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

TAKE ME CEREAL [/Al Gore]

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

I think what the problem is, is that they are now coating the crispies with a fine layer of wax to slow down the rate of inundation and preserve lasting crispiness. This is common practice in the food industry. What you need to do is rub the wax off each crispy with a cloth, much as you would do with an apple. This will help them sink more rapidly.

― NickB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

Cereals only really get soggy in warm milk, so I pour the hot milk in the night before and refrigertae overnight, this nice cool, soggy corn flakes.

― Pete, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:13 (eighteen years ago)

mmmm lovely wax. very nourishing.

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:13 (eighteen years ago)

LOOK THEY ARE CALLED RICE KRISPIES NOT RICE SOGGIES THE CLUE IS IN THE NAME OKAY?!

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:14 (eighteen years ago)

(Best thread in months)

― Sarah, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:14 (eighteen years ago)

as anyone ever eaten a Rice Krispie cake in some ice cream? NOT ME

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:15 (eighteen years ago)

OH NO MY CRISPS ARE TOO CRISPY BETTER LEAVE THEM BURIED IN SOFT PEAT FOR SIX MONTHS FIRST.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:15 (eighteen years ago)

pete only softens if you bruise him

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:17 (eighteen years ago)

You don't understand, if they were meant to be eaten DRY, WITH NO MILK, FROM THE TOP OF THE BOWL, why would they say to add milk?

They rise on top of the milk (proudly), go and eat a bowl of Rice Krispies and I guarantee you you'll have to eat 2 or 3 spoonfuls of dry practically milkless ones.

It contravenes the sale of goods and supply of services act.

Also Kv_Nol, yes I realise I have had a lot of cereal threads, this is the latest in a long em......line of them.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:19 (eighteen years ago)

Do they still do Rice Krispies with the marshmallows? Foul, and blantantly misunderstanding the whole KRISPIE hook and what the HELL does a marshmallow do when it comes into contact with milk? JOIN TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW SUPREME EVIL if you ask me.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:19 (eighteen years ago)

I never really liked Rice Krispies. But what if they were bigger, like Corn Pops?

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

I find myself reaching for the packet again to pour a second-half bowl so as not to waste the inevitably remaining milk. In the case of sugary variants this concentrates the sweetness even more, and as less and less milk remains each time you end up with an intence Ricicle jus

― Groke, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:21 (eighteen years ago)

Bruise me and I just get HARDER!

Has anyone else seen the advert for this Coco-Pops Fourways Super Choc Breakfast Treat? COCO POPS CREATIONS
http://www.kelloggs.co.uk/products/whatsnew.asp

― Pete, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:21 (eighteen years ago)

I'm not always left with milk. Maybe if I put in a little more and then mashed them around a bit it might work.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:22 (eighteen years ago)

the man who voices the Coco Pops adverts...is that really all he has done for 20+ years?

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:22 (eighteen years ago)

You could always stir your Rice Krispies before eating them, thus making the really krispy ones come into contact with the milk.

― Jibe, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:23 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah Jibe, I think you might be right here.

Though the risk of some falling around the place is very real.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:24 (eighteen years ago)

Life is risky ronan!

― Jibe, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:24 (eighteen years ago)

like Corn Pops?

Corn POOPS. They are just awful.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:24 (eighteen years ago)

That product Pete linked to looks awful - I blame MySpace.

― Groke, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:25 (eighteen years ago)

(now can i have a thread dedicated to finding post office elastic bands everywhere?)

― Alan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

I think experimentation with different kinds of milk is called for - Channel Island Gold down to skimmed, which, owing to their differing fat content, must have differing viscosity.

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

1. take a couple of dry rice krispies and put them in your pocket.

2. go to a big store where kitchen appliances are sold.

3. find a device similar to this one, but with holes that are smaller than the krispies you put in your pocket in step 1. If you can push the krispies through the holes, put the thing back and find one with smaller holes. Vv important that the holes are smaller than the krispies! Take note of this!

http://i18.tinypic.com/2hfnjmg.jpg

4. go to exit of store, pay, go home, put krispies in bowl, pour milk, use device to drown the little feckers until they're soggy

5. profit!

― StanM, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

I loved Corn Pops, many years ago.

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:28 (eighteen years ago)

I personally was too horrified at the prospect of the Chocolate Special K (aka almost certainly the most cynically marketed foodstuff ever). Then again I live with a girl who eats Special K for dinner while watching Bridget Jones's Diary and views this as a healthy lifestyle. The idea of being able to combine it with chocolate and STILL be thin and healthy may well cause some sort of explosion of excitement.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:28 (eighteen years ago)

Unfortunately I only can have Alpro or other brands of soy milk.

x-post has anyone tried going on Dragon's Den with a product like this, adapted for the modern cereal user.

I think "Poseidon's Breakfast Trident" would be a good name for it, and we can ham up the maritime analogies.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:28 (eighteen years ago)

5. profit!

But he just spent money, no profit then!

― Jibe, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:29 (eighteen years ago)

what if you just had a single layer of them, poured on milk, ate that. repeat.

― Alan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:29 (eighteen years ago)

oooooooooooh! i know what you can do with them!!!! (PO elastic bands that is)

i have seen the cocopop ad, i am confused though, is it 4 boxes separate or is it just 4 different shapes in the same box?

the problem with rice krispies is they taste of 0.

― CarsmileSteve, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:30 (eighteen years ago)

or had some sort of weight on the top to keep them under the milk. like a piece of cork. you could market it as the Under Milk Wood

― Alan, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:30 (eighteen years ago)

Re: profit/no profit ?

He could make money by selling this method of solving the universal problem of two or three spoonfuls of dry krispies that float on top?

― StanM, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:31 (eighteen years ago)

Profit= advantage; benefit; gain.

They have the Special K diet plan: eat two bowls per day and a regular meal. Sth like that. Seems ludicrous.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:32 (eighteen years ago)

This is my new favourite thread.

Ronan, if you just push them under with the back of your spoon, they'll get a reasonable coating and then bob back up. Remember, you're not trying to drown them, you're trying to find out what they know.

Also, the reference to Dragon's Den reminds me, I actually bought some of Levi Root's Reggae Reggae Sauce. It's very nice.

― accentmonkey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 11:32 (eighteen years ago)

Skipping 47 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

delicious gravel, though.

― c sharp major, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:36 (eighteen years ago)

Cracklin Oat Bran

i read this as Cracklin O'Brien

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:37 (eighteen years ago)

I could never understand how making the milk brown could possibly be considered a Good Thing.

When you're a kid, this is magical MAGIC!

― StanM, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:48 (eighteen years ago)

I like Quaker Oat Hoops, myself, but they fall foul of Ronan's NO WHEAT policy, even if they claim to be oaty. Also they're hard to get, so last week I had to settle for Quaker Granola instead, which is all sugary and horrible. I'm thinking of just bashing it down and using it to make flapjacks.

― accentmonkey, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:49 (eighteen years ago)

and you're not just making the milk brown, you're turning it into delicious chocolate milk! This is why chocolate Weetos never had the same power: they turned the milk brown, sure, but also made it taste weeeeeird. Also they were called 'Wee'tos, which is just asking for trouble.

― c sharp major, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:51 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah "turn the milk brown" is only the slogan because the true alchemical powers of Coco Pops are too dangerous to be revealed to the over-10s.

― Groke, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)

I think the phrase has been "turn the milk chocolatey" for about 15 years, grandads.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:06 (eighteen years ago)

Today's children have shorter attentions spans, cereals are competing with Playstations and MTV, 'brown' just doesn't cut it any more.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

i blame old Tony Blairs

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:08 (eighteen years ago)

if the monkey swings the wrong way on his liana, he ends up in the Um Bongo advert.

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:08 (eighteen years ago)

This thread makes me want rice krispie treats. The proper kind that you make, not the crappy ones that you buy in the store.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:10 (eighteen years ago)

eating cereal with milk = mentalism in my book. I realise I may be in a minority there.

― byebyepride, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:15 (eighteen years ago)

How about putting the Rice Krispies and milk into a blender, then process until smooth? Or even use them to make these rather delicious looking pancakes

― C J, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:15 (eighteen years ago)

what about yogurt?

― blueski, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:16 (eighteen years ago)

Everbody gurts, sometimes.

I think the root of the problem is that because they taste of zilch, Ronan fails to produce adequate saliva to moisten his palate.

― NickB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:20 (eighteen years ago)

I love Rice Kripies so much. The key to enjoying them is to put about half a pound of sugar at the bottome of your bowl. That way with each spoonful, the rice is lost in a mouth-burning pile of milky sugar. ::drool::

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

Possible solution to the lack of saliva in Ronan's mouth:

- lick the back of your hand
- pour krispies over hand, causing some of them to stick
- drink a shot of tequila and immediately lick the krispies off your hand
- suck on scrambled egg
- repeat

― StanM, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:25 (eighteen years ago)

Possible solution to the lack of saliva in Ronan's mouth:

he should snog someone with TOO MUCH.

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:27 (eighteen years ago)

Yes, like a dog.

― NickB, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:31 (eighteen years ago)

If you give them an overnight milk soak they turn into Rice Squishies.

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 13:36 (eighteen years ago)

pour the milk over the rice crispies. ie target them with the stream of milk and try and get decent coverage by moving your arm around.

alternatively, buy weetabix. those bastards sink like a stone.

― koogs, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

The female lead in The Namesake eats rice krispies with curry and peanuts. And it looks kind of good!

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 14:15 (eighteen years ago)

The krispie konundrum is what caused me to go granola for breakfast. That shit would sink in wet concrete.

― libcrypt, Wednesday, 18 April 2007 16:00 (eighteen years ago)

five months pass...

Krispie conundrum finally solved

― Matt DC, Monday, 8 October 2007 14:06 (eighteen years ago)

so there is always a bit of cereal in the milk, just enough for you to spoon up and then tip some more into the milk-trench below?

― blueski, Monday, 8 October 2007 14:11 (eighteen years ago)

I presume so. This = a Muller Crunch Corner in reverse.

― Matt DC, Monday, 8 October 2007 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

this will only exacerbate things

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 8 October 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

I agree, make the madness stop.

― Sarah, Monday, 8 October 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

I do blame Muller for this actually - stupid Muller - the bit with the crunch is always just that BIT too small for the spoon and you end up with crumb dust flipping out of the pot and onto your clothes because the crunch has INEVITABLY been halfway beaten up by the time muggins here gets to it.

― Sarah, Monday, 8 October 2007 15:11 (eighteen years ago)

I think you need a eatmecrunchy cereal bowl, seems to solve many a problem!

― rayanbee, Monday, 8 October 2007 15:31 (eighteen years ago)

OH MY GOD. that tops the list of things nobody knew they ever wanted. GENIUS.

― CharlieNo4, Monday, 8 October 2007 15:49 (eighteen years ago)

not genius, it only works if you are "pushing the cereal in as required", precisely the requirement from which our ronan seeks his (surely deserved) liberation

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 8 October 2007 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

i would never, ever complain about a thing about Rice Krispies, since it is obviously the best cereal on earth.

― you have to forgive me (surm), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:07 (fifteen years ago)

Cereals that float are a problem. Eating them in a deep, deep bowl is the only real solution.

in addition to cereal sog, if the milk was able to retain the same coolness throughout it might not be so bad.
― blueski, Wednesday, April 18, 2007 6:10 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Quite often I freeze a bowl in preparation for an ice-cold treat. Especially nice with a little milk added before freezing it!

― the faggiest vampire (Jesse), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:19 (fifteen years ago)

omg deep bowl otm! i just had the best experience with a deep bowl and a lot of rice krispies

― you have to forgive me (surm), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:20 (fifteen years ago)

coco pops @ sugar puffs pwn all over krispies, even if they are splinter groups from krispies to begine with.

― ice cool HOOSicle (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:23 (fifteen years ago)

I think you need a eatmecrunchy cereal bowl, seems to solve many a problem!

― rayanbee, Monday, October 8, 2007 11:31 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my gf got me some eatmecrunchy bowls a few years back. she paid some ridiculous amount of money for them cuz they weren't available in the states. they work pretty well tho

― carne asada, Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:25 (fifteen years ago)

uh, wtf is an eatmecrunchy cereal bowl

― you have to forgive me (surm), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:27 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.eatmecrunchy.com/

― carne asada, Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:30 (fifteen years ago)

Mixing cereals is also a delightful thing to do.

Chocolate Special-K is very good! The chocolate tastes real and while the chocochunks are not milk-soluble, they somehow does not turn into frozen, tasteless chococicles.

Raisin bran is :(

Plain bran cereal is :) x ∞

xp - ugh, I do NOT want that bowl. I like the sog.

― the faggiest vampire (Jesse), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:30 (fifteen years ago)

eat quicker?

― ice cool HOOSicle (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:33 (fifteen years ago)

i don't know what anybody is complaining about anyway, i mean part of the fun is that they're floaty and they get all over the place and make noise. i mean come on

― you have to forgive me (surm), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:33 (fifteen years ago)

Snap crackle *plop*

― carne asada, Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:35 (fifteen years ago)

i think that's been done, tbh

― ice cool HOOSicle (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:35 (fifteen years ago)

My only real problem with them (and Cheerios) is that due to my preferred milk/cereal ratio, the cereal overtops the bowl when I go in to spoon up some milk. Sometimes I use my palm to submerge the riceberg, but I don't need that sort of high maintenance kind of bullshit out of my cereal.

― the faggiest vampire (Jesse), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:37 (fifteen years ago)

SNAP

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, 19 April 2008 03:44 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

CRACKLE

― latebloomer, 19 April 2008 03:46 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LOL

― latebloomer, 19 April 2008 03:46 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Aww, see here I was just trying to be nice and you hadda zing me...

― Mr. Odd, 19 April 2008 13:07 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

*PLOP*

― Curt1s Stephens, 20 April 2008 02:37 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I have been seriously pwned by one Curt1s Stephens at my own failed zing

― latebloomer, 20 April 2008 02:44 (1 year ago) Bookmark

― ice cool HOOSicle (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:38 (fifteen years ago)

haha

― carne asada, Wednesday, 20 January 2010 15:41 (fifteen years ago)

This thread reminds me of the brilliant bit in Cryptonomicon about eating Cap'n Crunch:

"World-class cereal-eating is a dance of fine compromises. The giant heaping bowl of sodden cereal, awash in milk, is the mark of the novice. Ideally one wants the bone-dry cereal nuggets and the cryogenic milk to enter the mouth with minimal contact and for the entire reaction between them to take place in the mouth. ... The next-best thing is to work in small increments, putting only a small amount...in your bowl at a time and eating it all up before it becomes a pit of loathsome slime, which takes about thirty seconds in the case of Cap'n Crunch."

― Number None, Wednesday, 20 January 2010 18:05 (fifteen years ago)

^^^ Weird synchronicity, just read this passage in the book yesterday!

― what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 18:08 (fifteen years ago)

I like the Cap'n's slime.

― the faggiest vampire (Jesse), Wednesday, 20 January 2010 18:19 (fifteen years ago)

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