This might make your eyes water a bit

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

Man cuts off penis in restaurant
Zizzi on The Strand
The man tried to gain access to the kitchen
A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London restaurant.

Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.

A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.

The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin
Zizzi spokeswoman

A spokeswoman for Zizzi said the man was not thought to have any connection with the restaurant.

She said: "At around 9pm on Sunday, a man walked into the Zizzi restaurant on The Strand, down the stairs to the basement restaurant area and tried to enter a kitchen.

"Members of staff stopped him, at which he ran into a second kitchen area.

"The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time."

She added: "Apart from the man, we understand that no-one else suffered any physical injuries."

And I've just been told what "zizzi" means in french.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=33257&in_page_id=2

Row over angry, penis-removing doctor
Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Doctors' unions in Romania have criticised a decision to make a surgeon pay £100,000 in damages after he lost his temper and hacked off a patient's penis during surgery.

Surgeon Naum Ciomu, who had been suffering from stress at the time, had been operating on patient Nelu Radonescu, 36, to correct a testicular malformation when he suddenly lost his temper.

Grabbing a scalpel, he sliced off the penis in front of shocked nursing staff, and then placed it on the operating table where he chopped it into small pieces before storming out of the operating theatre at Bucharest hospital.

A Romanian court has now awarded Radonescu £20,000 costs – to pay for the operation to rebuild his ruined penis using tissue from his arm – as well as 100,000 pounds in damages.

The medical costs will be paid by the hospital's insurer, but doctors' unions have criticised the decision that the money for the damages has to be paid by the doctor.

They say the move sets a dangerous precedent and that Professor Ciomu, a urologist and lecturer in anatomy, has already been punished enough after having his medical licence suspended.

They said he had been under stress and had lost his temper after he accidentally cut the man's urinary channel and 'overreacted' to the situation. He told the court it was a temporary loss of judgement due to personal problems.

Vice-president of the Romanian Doctors Union, Vasile Astarastoae, said: 'Ciomu's case is a dangerous precedent for all Romanian doctors. In future doctors may have to think very carefully about what work they undertake.'

Because obviously, the last thing you want is a doctor thinking carefully about the work they're doing.

The director of the ophthalmology hospital in Bucharest, Dr Monica Pop (yes, actually her name), agreed saying that doctors would in future avoid any cases where they could end up in court having to pay damages.

She added: 'Doctors in Romanian earn too little to be able to pay amounts like this. As a result it will be entirely fair if they only accept cases where they cannot make mistakes. The only way this can be avoided is if the insurance companies cover all the risk.'

― Frogman Henry, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 02:32 (eighteen years ago)

ouch

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 02:53 (eighteen years ago)

Everyones too scared to read this one.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:12 (eighteen years ago)

Come on, the man lost his temper. Happens to everyone of us, chin up.

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:14 (eighteen years ago)

The medical costs will be paid by the hospital's insurer, but doctors' unions have criticised the decision that the money for the damages has to be paid by the doctor. They say the move sets a dangerous precedent

... as opposed to the precedent that is set by LETTING DOCTORS HACK OFF PEOPLE'S PENISES WITH IMPUNITY whenever they're having a bad day?

― bernard snowy, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:31 (eighteen years ago)

I mean, if I get pissed off and run down a pedestrian, no one's going to say "Hey, they already suspended his driver's license; hasn't he suffered enough?"

― bernard snowy, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:33 (eighteen years ago)

As a result it will be entirely fair if they only accept cases where they cannot make mistakes.

... like every surgery where they have to hold a knife in their hands, for instance?

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:38 (eighteen years ago)

Here's Dr. Ciomu, by the way:

http://i14.tinypic.com/2rd937p.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:42 (eighteen years ago)

Still looking pretty angry. Watch out with that microphone!

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

He looks a bit like Victor Meldrew

― C J, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

I think the French word is spelt "Zizi" but this was still an awesome place for lovepump severage to take place.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

LOL @ layout in the first post here:

It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.

The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin

!!! ???

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:45 (eighteen years ago)

Have you ever cut off your own penis? Do you know anyone who has? Click here to add your own comment!

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:47 (eighteen years ago)

Poll: Best Blade for Self-Penectomy.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:49 (eighteen years ago)

I was going to say Best Tool there but it felt like over-egging the pudding.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:49 (eighteen years ago)

THIS might make your eyes water...

No jail for Australian attacker who threw chair leg in man's eye, neck

MELBOURNE, Australia — An Australian man who hurled a metal chair at another man, leaving one of its legs lodged 4 inches into his eye socket and neck, was sentenced Tuesday to 400 hours of community service.

Liam Peart, 20, hurled the metal chair during a nightclub brawl in Melbourne in January, hitting Shafique El-Fahkri, 19, who was standing about 10 feet away.

A leg of the chair plunged into his eye socket and down into his neck. Surgeons removed the chair leg in a three-hour operation through the right side of El-Fahkri's neck, according to media reports.

Thinking he had killed the man, Peart panicked and ran. He surrendered to police the next day.

Peart pleaded guilty in the Melbourne Magistrates Court to one charge of negligently causing serious injury. In addition to 400 hours of unpaid community service, he will be monitored by corrections officers for two years.

Magistrate Peter Reardon told Peart he was lucky El-Fahkri survived.

"It's a blessing in a sense this young man was not killed or really seriously harmed," he said. "It might be a wake-up call for you that there are worse off people than yourself."

El-Fahkri spent a month in intensive care at a Melbourne hospital. The attack left him with a raspy voice, but 95 percent of his vision has been restored.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2007/04/24/2003679812.jpg

― onimo, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:57 (eighteen years ago)

^An X-ray image of the chair leg that was lodged in Shafique El-Fahkri's left eye socket and neck.^

― onimo, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

Man - did they ever even work out why that guy lopped off his own sector?

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:00 (eighteen years ago)

A Romanian court has now awarded Radonescu £20,000 costs – to pay for the operation to rebuild his ruined penis using tissue from his arm

Hang on, you can do that?! Isn't medical science wonderful!

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:01 (eighteen years ago)

Poor guy's going to have a penis shaped groove in his arm.

― onimo, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:03 (eighteen years ago)

So if we stroked our arms in the right way we could all... ?

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:03 (eighteen years ago)

xpost

And a really hairy cock.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:04 (eighteen years ago)

Wait, so if something happens to your arm, do they unroll your penis and put it there?

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "a quick one off the wrist".

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:08 (eighteen years ago)

the poor writing on that BBC article made my eyes water a bit.

― ken c, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

Your search - "donkey dick transplant" - did not match any documents.

damn.

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

bump thread
for great importance

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

maybe in america we should ban the death penalty and institute the penisectomy

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

that'll make you think twice before you throw a chair in a bar

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

a penis for an eye, a penis for a tooth

― moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

"cockaleekie soup is off"

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Thursday, 26 April 2007 01:47 (eighteen years ago)

"waiter waiter there's a cock in my soup"

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Thursday, 26 April 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

okay holy shit at the chair story and roffle roffle at the armcock

― HI DERE, Thursday, 26 April 2007 01:53 (eighteen years ago)

Does anyone remember like five years ago, when Fox ran a countdown called something along the lines of "100 Strangest Things Ever Removed from the Human Body?" TWO HOURS of people getting garden tools and rebar stuck through their brains, and not only could I not stop watching, but I actually had friends calling up and going "OMG are you watching this shit on Fox?" I've slept like 2% less well since that evening, and still have this recurring low-level fear of everyday metal objects winding up spearing me. (One thing that doesn't help on this front is having seen a picture at about 9 years old of a kid who fell while climbing over a spiked iron gate, such that the spike went up under his jaw and then out his mouth, and he HUNG THERE by his jaw bone until they could remove the section of fence.)

Okay everyone BE CAREFUL. Love,

― nabisco, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:11 (eighteen years ago)

P.S. Number one on the countdown was obviously that Indian guy who absorbed his twin in the womb and then had some kind of huge tumorous other living person as part of his body, until eventually it started going wrong, and he went to have his big lump removed, and the thing they pulled out had apparently lived long enough inside him to grow LONG BONES and HAIR.

― nabisco, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:14 (eighteen years ago)

(Obviously he was a poor rural fellow and of course wasn't aware what it was, he just thought he had a giant belly / tumorous growth that wasn't particularly hurting him or changing or signalling any kind of medical emergency.)

― nabisco, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:16 (eighteen years ago)

Indian dude - http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2346476&page=1

When I'm old and have a giant beer gut, I think I'll tell my grandkids that it's really their great-uncle trapped inside me.

― milo z, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:19 (eighteen years ago)

^^^^^ science!

― river wolf, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:21 (eighteen years ago)

Oh god that chair dude, that was so horrible. And apparently he can still see ok!

― Trayce, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:33 (eighteen years ago)

Thanks to everyone involved in the armcock discussion; you made my day!

― Tape Store, Thursday, 26 April 2007 04:05 (eighteen years ago)

bump thread
for great ~~importance~~ impotence

― Tape Store, Thursday, 26 April 2007 04:07 (eighteen years ago)

Here's that kid Nabisco was talking about - http://stevespak.com/spak/ems/impaled.html

― The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 26 April 2007 05:00 (eighteen years ago)

eight months pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."
Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.
'Pulled hard'
Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence.
The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.
The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.
An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.
In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".
He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."
The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.
She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.
She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person."
The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life."

― Herman G. Neuname, Saturday, 19 January 2008 22:31 (seventeen years ago)

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

okay this friend.

― Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 19 January 2008 23:22 (seventeen years ago)

twelve years pass...

No more zizzi topping for him amirite

― nob lacks, noirish (darraghmac), Monday, 4 January 2021 03:47 (four years ago)

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