Best awesome prosimian! FUCK a monkey, tehy're all shit.

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PROSIMIANS are the good part of the largely irritating world of primates. Perhaps you do not know much about them, but you should. After a brief edumentainicational tour of the major varieties, you may select which of these superior primates you like the very best of all.

LEMURS

Lemurs are smallish, from mouse to cat-sized. The smaller are vegetarians; the larger are omnivores that eat insects, plants, and baby birds. Lemurs are matriarchal, unlike stupid control-freak asshole gorillas.

Here are the adorable kinds of lemur:

RING-TAILED

http://www.nashvillezoo.org/ring_tailed_lemur_bt.jpg

MIRZA ZAZA, a new lemur!

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/08/images/050809_lemur_photo.jpg

SIFAKA

http://images.art.com/images/-/Dancing-Lemur--C11764863.jpeg

FAT-TAILED DWARF LEMUR

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/fattaileddwarf/thumb_general.jpg

RED-RUFFED LEMUR

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/redruffed/thumb_general.jpg

BLACK & WHITE-RUFFED LEMUR

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/bnwruffed/thumb_general.jpg

GRAY GENTLE LEMUR (that's seriously it's name)

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/graygentle/thumb_general.jpg

BROWN LEMUR

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/collared/thumb_general.jpg

GOLD CROWNED SIFAKA

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/goldencrowned/general.jpg

MONGOOSE LEMUR

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/mongoose/thumb_general.jpg

OTHER PROSIMIANS

Yes, the AYE-AYE is creepy, but far more imaginative a primate than any goddamn ass-scratching monkey. "Unusual physical characteristics include incisors that are continually growing (unique among primates), extremely large ears, and a middle finger which is skeletal in appearance, and is used by the animal as a primary sensory organ."

http://www.rp-online.de/layout/showbilder/7735-225339_BRITAIN_AYE_AYE_LON119.jpg

LESSER BUSHBABY

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/lesserbushbaby/thumb_general.jpg

THE LORIS

"All lorises have extremely strong fingers and toes, and they are capable of maintaining a powerful grip with either hands or feet for astonishingly long periods of time. They are arboreal and nocturnal, sleeping by day in hollowed out trees, tree crevices or branches. Generally they sleep curled up in a ball, with their heads tucked up under their arms. When they move, they do so with slow deliberate hand-over-hand movements, moving along as easily under a branch as above. They are capable of moving quickly if alarmed, but they do not jump or leap."

SLOW LORIS

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/slowloris/thumb_general.jpg

SLENDER LORIS

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/slenderloris/thumb_general.jpg

PYGMY SLOW LORIS

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/pygmyslowloris/thumb_general.jpg

Poll Results

Option	Votes
They're all so great I can't decide, but they are so much better than monkeys	5
AYE-AYE	5
Mizra Zaza	4
Slender Loris	3
Red-ruffed lemur	3
Grey Gentle lemur	3
Pygmy slow loris	2
Slow loris	2
Lesser bushbaby	1
Mongoose lemur	1
Ring-tailed lemur	1
Fat-tailed dwarf lemur	0
Sifaka	0

― Abbott, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:39 (eighteen years ago)

my vote goes to the mongoose lemur

― get bent, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:41 (eighteen years ago)

i feel bad for the lesser bushbaby, he's gotta have self-esteem problems

― get bent, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

I have long been a fan of the aye-aye. The pygmy slow loris looks pretty great also.

― chap, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)

THE RED-RUFFED LEMUR IS CREEPING ME THE FUCK OUT

― ghost rider, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

Weird: why come pictures come up in the question, despite my being in no-image mode?

I voted for slow loris, because when I was 18 and taking kind of a gut college survey class called LIVING PRIMATES, I was kind of not paying attention and then heard the words "slow loris," and they sounded, you know, beautiful. Slow loris! It was made to be said! I'm amazed it's not a band yet!

― nabisco, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

These are just tree rats, basically.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

Slow loris! It was made to be said! I'm amazed it's not a band yet!

well it is now

― river wolf, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

yoink

― river wolf, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

no i think it is a band

http://www.southern.com/southern/band/SLOWL/

― Mr. Que, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:54 (eighteen years ago)

It's okay, I'm not possessive about the name: great thoough it may be, I think we all know what kind of music you'd expect from a band called "Slow Loris," and I don't own enough cargo shorts or Guitar Center credit vouchers to pull that off.

― nabisco, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:56 (eighteen years ago)

Or the time machine that could take me back to the mid-90s to sign on to Sub-Pop.

― nabisco, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:57 (eighteen years ago)

ask ally she has a time machine

― river wolf, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:57 (eighteen years ago)

uggh the fake Slow Loris is totally from Bellingham WA

― Mr. Que, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

and they all dress in cargo shorts, OTM

― Mr. Que, Monday, 30 April 2007 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

"Heavy bass groove," amirite?

― nabisco, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

uuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhh

― Mr. Que, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)

"Unusual physical characteristics include incisors that are continually growing (unique among primates), extremely large ears, and a middle finger which is skeletal in appearance, and is used by the animal as a primary sensory organ."

so badass! aye-aye gets my vote.

― latebloomer, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

totally punk rock

― latebloomer, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

They're about to go extinct, those aye-ayes. The people of Madagascar have somewhat sensibly decided that they are evil little tree-devils (it doesn't help that they come out at night and stare with their creepy eyes and then POINT AT YOU with their long bony tree-poking fingers, as if to say "YOU, YOU, YOU") and for long time were quite happy to kill them.

― nabisco, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:16 (eighteen years ago)

AYE-AYE all the way. Although the others are lovely.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/31440568_7a89080f92.jpg

― emil.y, Monday, 30 April 2007 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― ILX System, Sunday, 10 June 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

pretty much all of the pics above are "sup"pable.

― blueski, Monday, 11 June 2007 08:53 (eighteen years ago)

"unlike the ass-scratching monkeys"

Look at every one of those pictures: they're ALL saying "omg my ass itches SO MUCH, I wish my species could invent something to solve this" (the Aye Aye is on the right way with his finger thing, but look at his face: still itchy as hell, that ass)

― StanM, Monday, 11 June 2007 09:00 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/Detail.aspx/invisible-mr-miyagi/

― Mark C, Monday, 11 June 2007 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/invisible-mr-miyagi.jpg

― Mark C, Monday, 11 June 2007 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― ILX System, Monday, 11 June 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

Hurrah for the grey gentle! for looking like an owlbear.

― anatol_merklich, Monday, 11 June 2007 23:44 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

Look at this guy! Does a more peaceful creature exist?

http://lemur.duke.edu/animals/slenderloris/thumb_general.jpg

― Abbott, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 03:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://i3.tinypic.com/641erg1.gif

― Heave Ho, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 03:43 (eighteen years ago)

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/3a/300px-Avatar_-_The_Last_Airbender_103_The_Southern_Air_Temple_-_Momo.jpg

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 08:32 (eighteen years ago)

The ring-tailed lemur is not getting the credit it deserves, possibly because it looks like a criminal.

The slow loris has the best name aver!

― mei, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 11:34 (eighteen years ago)

nine months pass...

I have found the world's best website, and it is about the slender loris.

― Abbott, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:15 (seventeen years ago)

where is tarsier band?

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:18 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuH48JW8XrU

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:20 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14alLh3LglQ&feature=related

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:21 (seventeen years ago)

Look at this tarsier skull:

http://www.boneclones.com/images/bc-050-lg.jpg

It is ALL SOCKET.

― Abbott, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:23 (seventeen years ago)

ha!

oh, and one more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5pw_WzU4nM

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:24 (seventeen years ago)

i have some cool jazz going while i view your site abbott. it is perfect.

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 27 July 2008 21:26 (seventeen years ago)

Do I completely hate this band or just think they're pleasant enough...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vYttE_8q7A

Either way, the Tarsier deserves a way cooler band.

― RabiesAngentleman, Monday, 28 July 2008 12:57 (seventeen years ago)

qO.Op

― Kerm, Monday, 28 July 2008 14:04 (seventeen years ago)

http://animalpicturesarchive.com/WebImg/327/1207813649-t.jpg

― negotiable, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 22:52 (seventeen years ago)

six months pass...

http://i42.tinypic.com/6ejhgj.gif

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:40 (sixteen years ago)

O.O

― JtM Is Ruled By A Black Man (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:49 (sixteen years ago)

http://i37.tinypic.com/jv0umv.gif

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:53 (sixteen years ago)

Oh man, thank you Stan.

― i'm shy (Abbott), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

i find these things terrifying

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:56 (sixteen years ago)

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/18/leaping_lemur.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:59 (sixteen years ago)

lemurs are awesome, tho

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:59 (sixteen years ago)

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:01 (sixteen years ago)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ujk9GTedwW8/SIcaRuPcvKI/AAAAAAAAL7s/jHW69s9B0Ko/s400/article-0-020BDB1F00000578-384_468x521.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:05 (sixteen years ago)

http://terresacree.org/images/lemurien10x.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:08 (sixteen years ago)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3233/2793241595_482684dd4e.jpg (original size)

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:10 (sixteen years ago)

awwww: http://www.wat.tv/video/lemurien-zoo-vincennes-ijio_hod3_.html

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:12 (sixteen years ago)

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:23 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.zveryshki.ru/uploads/oldimages/thumbs/1171915845_01_tarsier.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:28 (sixteen years ago)

http://funnypicture.zoda.ru/bd/2007/09/09/73bb639dd11cb74fe804da85d77238ba.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:29 (sixteen years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44519000/jpg/_44519120_lemur416.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:30 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.membrana.ru/images/forms/4366.jpeg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:31 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.zoo.ru/moscow/pic/_m17_1.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:32 (sixteen years ago)

my daughter's favorite tv show is zoboomafoo, which is about two dolts and their annoying talking lemur

http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/zoboomafoo.jpg

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:33 (sixteen years ago)

http://images.wildmadagascar.org/pictures/julie_maher/mouselemurbyjm0020.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:33 (sixteen years ago)

http://funnypicture.zoda.ru/bd/2007/01/07/7bdaf79c61f842366c3b253c562954eb.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:35 (sixteen years ago)

LEMUR KING

― JtM Is Ruled By A Black Man (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:41 (sixteen years ago)

http://news.xinhuanet.com/it/2004-01/16/xinsrc_432005161629426240722.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:53 (sixteen years ago)

This one's eyes aren't even on straight O_o

http://cn.yimg.com/gallery/jokes/200706280832533831712.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:53 (sixteen years ago)

http://news.xinhuanet.com/it/2004-01/16/xinsrc_482005161630510234813.jpg

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:55 (sixteen years ago)

Er, that's about it, I think. Just happened to notice that chewing one somewhere and that started this short image searching thing :-)

― StanM, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 21:09 (sixteen years ago)

two years pass...

The BBC's double blu-ray set Madagascar, narrated by David Attenborough, is RIDICULOUSLY beautiful. Seriously. Planet Earth and Life and South Pacific and Yellowstone are all brilliant and unmissably awesome blu-rays, but this just smacks you in the face with three hours of uniquely alien beauty. Wanna see some high def lemurs? This is it, man.

― StanM, Saturday, 7 May 2011 16:45 (fourteen years ago)

Also featuring baobabs and chameleons and a mongoose-like creature called Grandidier's Vontsira.

― StanM, Saturday, 7 May 2011 16:50 (fourteen years ago)

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