Graham Poll RIP

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Alleluia! Football has received a welcome fillip this morning following reports that Graham Poll has 'dramatically decided to quit refereeing'.

'His last game will be Portsmouth's Premiership clash with Arsenal on Sunday,' reports the Daily Mirror. 'Poll will end his career early after becoming fed up with the abuse that goes with being the most controversial and high-profile official in English football.'

This, of course, is a charitable view. Poll is, in fact, widely detested for being a serial match-wrecker and giving the impression that he craves being the centre of attention. In his entire career, Poll has only refereed six games in which no cards were issued.

The 43-year-old erred spectacularly at last summer's World Cup, damaging the reputation of the country as a whole when he unwillingly supported claims that many Englishmen were unable to complete basic arithmetic when he only dismissed Croatia's Josip Iimuniæ for a third bookable offence.

Although he subsequently quit international football, bizarrely announcing his retirement whilst talking of himself in the third person, this season has seen Poll bolster his reputation as a match wrecker. He erroneously awarded Arsenal two penalties in December's North London derby before effectively dumping the Gunners out of the FA Cup when he waved away two clear penalties in their tie at Blackburn.

In November, he sent off Chelski captain John Terry during their defeat at Spurs. Chelski players claimed Poll said they needed to be "taught a lesson". In his first game after that incident, Poll then sent off James McFadden for allegedly calling him "a cheat".

This Wednesday, Poll succeeded in antagonising both Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho with the Chelski manager describing his confrontation with the card-happy ref as "cleansing my soul". Ferguson was aggrieved, meanwhile, by Poll refusing to award the visitors a penalty kick for a blatant trip on Chris Eagles.

Nor is Poll believed to be popular amongst his whistle-blowing peers. In his autobiography, Jeff Winter spoke out on behalf of Robbie Savage after the then Birmingham midfielder was charged by the FA for using the referee's toilet. "The referee in question was not one of my favourite people," he wrote. "In fact, anyone who craps in Graham Poll's toilet can't be all bad."

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:22 (eighteen years ago)

Not another bloody Poll thread.

― Frogman Henry, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.world-cup-blog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/graham%20poll.jpg

― Frogman Henry, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:27 (eighteen years ago)

He'll actually resign three more times before remembering he doesn't need to turn up to games any more.

― Matt DC, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:30 (eighteen years ago)

I don't really like him any more than the next guy but I've always thought that "centre of attention" thing was stupid and baseless

― DJ Mencap, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:33 (eighteen years ago)

I thought the "centre of attention" thing was usually aimed at Uriah Rennie?

― Matt DC, Friday, 11 May 2007 09:35 (eighteen years ago)

can we stop the 'RIP' thing unless they're actually dead? (actually i hate it used for that as well, just write the b/d years instead yo)

― blueski, Friday, 11 May 2007 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

And yet Mark Halsey's still going strong.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Friday, 11 May 2007 10:28 (eighteen years ago)

i hate it used for that as well

RIP is a bit silly isn't it? It almost implies that you believe in ghosts, ghouls and zombies: stay in the ground and don't get up and haunt us.

Back to Poll: in every job there's going to be ppl who are crap at it, it's just that bad refs are more high profile than yr average office drone. But while office drones get sacked and disciplined now and again, refs appear to escape censure, which is, I think, a sad indictment of the footballing authorities.

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 11 May 2007 10:52 (eighteen years ago)

I have seen too many games in which Poll fails to play the advantage rule. Whistle whistle whistle. A very annoying trait in my book

― Daniel Giraffe, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

I suppose sending John Terry off for jogging past somebody was pretty funny, in retrospect.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:51 (eighteen years ago)

nine years pass...

fuck 2016 man

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Monday, 19 December 2016 00:29 (eight years ago)

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