people with odd kissing techniques

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this girl ive started seeing likes doing a thing which might not be weird per se, but i find a bit peculiar. maybe other guys like it, i have no idea. but she isnt too fond of kissing from a side angle (ie when i tilt my head 45 degrees, although she is enjoyably receptive and good with this anyway so hey, cant complain...). she prefers to only kiss with both our heads vertical. which is fine but she also does this slightly odd licking thing where she just likes to keep licking more instead of kissing. im all for a roaming tongue but just licking for lickings sake at the front of the mouth seems a bit weird. or does this make me weird? i dont know. either way, this did actually make for kind of a fun make out session just cos it was kinda like being engaged in some sort of kissing conflict with both of us set on trying to dominate the other with our own 'style'.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

there was an artcle about this in yesterdays dailt mail

― 696, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:30 (eighteen years ago)

have you tried letting her tie you up?

― Ronan, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:33 (eighteen years ago)

have you tried acupuncture?

it might just sort itself out.

― Ronan, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:33 (eighteen years ago)

Argh, vertical kissers are a major annoyance, second only to washing machines imo. Not come across a serial licker before, though.

― Madchen, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:35 (eighteen years ago)

There are people who, instead of kissing normally, seem to be trying to eat your face, so you come away with cuts and bruises on your lips and tongue. What's that all about?

― braveclub, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:36 (eighteen years ago)

Firstly. It could be worse. Secondly, neither of you are weird. Thirdly, talk to her ASAP. Tell her that you like that technique, but you also really like this: (insert demonstration here). Then mix it up!

― marianna lcl, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:36 (eighteen years ago)

Was going to say "Marianna to thread" but she is already here! ;-)

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:37 (eighteen years ago)

Thirdly, talk to her ASAP. Tell her that you like that technique, but you also really like this:

then stand well back.

― Ronan, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:38 (eighteen years ago)

Not to imply that Marianna kisses oddly! Far from it, I've kissed her myself and she kisses just fine. Just that she has good experience/advice.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:39 (eighteen years ago)

I once used to kiss this girl with a tiny tongue who loved to just sort of nibble at my lips. It was kind of proto-furry - I felt like I was being kissed by a small, sweet little animal.

― moley, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:44 (eighteen years ago)

im glad someone else dislikes vertical kissers. i thought it was just me.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:45 (eighteen years ago)

we did - and i have never done this before, must have been the drink - but i did ever so slightly hit her teeth twice. was a bit embarassing. i think it was just cos her couch is so small it was difficult to find a comfortable position.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:47 (eighteen years ago)

i really recommend the whole 'wage a war' method to making out though. it was very good. lol.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:48 (eighteen years ago)

You could try pinching her arm really hard every time she goes vertical to train her out of it.

― Madchen, Friday, 11 May 2007 11:51 (eighteen years ago)

Or try a reward-based system for kissing non-vertically. Does she like cheese?

― clotpoll, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:45 (eighteen years ago)

I kissed this guy a long time ago that did little pecks!! it was so gross and seemed like something a little kid would do or something. Note: he was not a little kid.

Gahhh I have not kissed someone for so long its ridic

― homosexual II, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:46 (eighteen years ago)

The first guy I went out with I likened to a shark: he was all teeth. I mean teeth elsewhere, sure, but when you feel like your gums are being bitten at it is a bit weird.

Also once this guy bit my tongue so fucking hard he cut that joingy thing under my tongue and it bled everywhere. I was not impressed, esp because he did it while we were standing in the city somewhere and suddenly I had a gobful of blood. Charming, not.

― Trayce, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:49 (eighteen years ago)

I liked our heads to be cocked.

What about facehuggers? People who start sucking your whole face? Ew! Seems so... icky. I've seen it but thank god never experienced it myself.

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:51 (eighteen years ago)

Vertical kisses are ok - the trick is to imagine you're going down on a woman, but on her mouth rather than her muffin. The top lip is the clitoris. Behind the top lip is her g-spot. The teeth are of course a bit of a worry for this metaphor.

― moley, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:53 (eighteen years ago)

I'm new to this whole beard thing, anyone got any tips on kissing and beards?

― Ed, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:54 (eighteen years ago)

I enjoy kissing, I'm quite happy to kiss almost anyone, sexual or not. (Provided I'm drunk enough to overcome the "ugh, being touched" thing.)

It's interesting, the difference between kissing men and kissing women, though. I think I might almost enjoy kissing women more, their mouths tend to be... well, softer. I don't know if this is technique or biology. (The skin on their faces/lips being softer.) Most of the women I've kissed, it has been like biting into a succulent peach. While men tend to be more guilty of the kissing a mouth full of teeth thing.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:55 (eighteen years ago)

xxpost Sorry, I'm not a lesbian.

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:55 (eighteen years ago)

x-post kissing with beards is OK if the beard is long enough not to be tickley. It's nice kissing a man with a beard if the beard hair is soft and well kempt (conditioner!). It's not necessarily so nice kissing a man who just hasn't bothered to shave for a few days.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:56 (eighteen years ago)

I dont like beards :(

― Trayce, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:56 (eighteen years ago)

i have never kissed anyone w/ a beard or mustache

but a few days unshaven is brutal

― homosexual II, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:57 (eighteen years ago)

Hmm I don't know if I approve of conditioner.

hmm, there is a hot belgian editrix over there, maybe I should ask her.

― Ed, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:57 (eighteen years ago)

beggars can't be choosers

― Ronan, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

I kissed a girl once who kissed completely normally, except in slow motion. I mean really slow. It was odd.

Weird kissers are fun when you get to the point of comfort (sometimes instantaneous, sometimes never) where you can lovingly chide them about it, go back and forth between methods, etc. Otherwise, you just spend make out sessions thinking "Oh, for fuck's sake."

― en i see kay, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

I never liked kissing men with beards until I met Joe. His beard was very very soft, but he really looked after it. He would do this thing where he would hold his face milimetres from mine and gently stroke me with his beard, kind of like butterfly kisses from eyelashes. It was quite, quite erotic.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

I once kissed a girl at university who was really into biting, she had a bit of a reputation for it which I foolishly didn't believe. It didn't last long.

― Matt DC, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:00 (eighteen years ago)

Ed, you are way more metrosexual than Joe ever was. Seriously, if you want to be kissing hott Belgian editrixes (trices?) get thee to some facial toner-moisturiser-conditioner-metrosexual-grooming-product-stuff.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:01 (eighteen years ago)

I used to ocassionally make out with a guy in college who was the most bizarre kisser ever. He sucked both of my lips at once really quickly and repeatedly kind of like a baby sucking on a pacifier and that's all. No tounge no soft kisses - nothing. It was horrible. I hope for the sake of whomever he's kissing these days, that his technique has improved.

― ENBB, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:03 (eighteen years ago)

not all beggars have beards

― RJG, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:03 (eighteen years ago)

A woman with a beard once offered to kiss me. I declined. Now I'm rather curious about what I may have missed.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:04 (eighteen years ago)

I am suspicious of cosmetics beyond soap.

― Ed, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

xpost were either of you a beggar at the time

― Ronan, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:07 (eighteen years ago)

I once kissed a girl at university who was really into biting

she bit your tongue? WTF.

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:14 (eighteen years ago)

xpost - that is exactly what i thought when she was doing it - that vertical kissing/licking is great if youre practising cunnilingus but erm not so great when just lipsing. plus, shes a hetero (well far as i know) girl. what would she need to practise cunnlingus for? then again, that licking technique is obviously going to come in very handy in other ways. although i suspect i wont be able to confirm that for a while yet as she has said she doesnt believe in doing that stuff so early on when seeing someone (she has some mental (or maybe literal) rule book thing she is abiding by).

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:15 (eighteen years ago)

what about tonguekissing the other's ear?

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:16 (eighteen years ago)

as far as biting, she does also a lip biting thing. this is actually pretty great. i cannot lie. for anyone wondering, i havent actually kissed anyone since breaking up with my ex so this is like a forgotten world being re-explored lol.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:16 (eighteen years ago)

Tonguing ears is great. (Surely there has to be a better word for this? Auralingus? "You know I've had it in the ear before"?)

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:17 (eighteen years ago)

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:20 (eighteen years ago)

Well, there's earkissing and then there's earkissing. Some people seem to forget there's other holes to fill. ;-)

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:21 (eighteen years ago)

some girls ive been out with quite liked feeling stubble or beards on their inner thighs when the guy is visiting down there...

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:35 (eighteen years ago)

This thread has quickly turned from just kissing.

― Ms Misery, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:35 (eighteen years ago)

i blame nathalie ;)

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 13:43 (eighteen years ago)

What about facehuggers? People who start sucking your whole face? Ew! Seems so... icky.

After a month's worth of exchanging glances in a night club, I finally arranged a date with a really sexy girl once, many years ago. The date went fine except that, when we started making out, she started sucking my whole mouth into hers. It was revolting, frankly, and that was our last date 'cause I wasn't too keen to find out what other strange habits she had.

― Michael White, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:35 (eighteen years ago)

Michael, maybe she also deep throated!

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:36 (eighteen years ago)

Looks like you turned one down there, Michael, I'm afraid...

― Just got offed, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:36 (eighteen years ago)

I dont like people doing things to my ears ew.

― Trayce, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

nathalies right. if she did that with your mouth, just imagine what she would do with your....

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

shhh!

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)

One girl would wiggle her tongue left-to-right constantly, that was weird. She was a friend of a friend, she said I was the best kisser ever </ego> but coming from her I'm not sure I should take that as a compliment...

Also couple of girls who were all or nothing with tongues, like they would kiss just slightly opened mouthed most of the time, then suddenly washing machine tongue down the throat.

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:06 (eighteen years ago)

im wondering if there is some big divide between male and female kissing techniques

― titchyschneiderMk2, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

I wonder if they are people out there who do the Hollywood kiss (no tongue). That'd be rofflicious!

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

this thread is kind of grossing me out now

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

There are.

― Jordan, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

I kind like having my ear bitten really quite hard - not draw blood hard, but hard. Is that weird?

― The Wayward Johnny B, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:12 (eighteen years ago)

you go out w/ masonic boom don't you?

― RJG, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

, then suddenly washing machine tongue down the throat.

I keep imagining this propeller style.

― nathalie, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

Not far off.

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:16 (eighteen years ago)

Re: the Hollywood kiss, my major Ex-Girlfriend and I just could not move on to tongues for a good month after we started dating, long after we started sleeping together. We would both just start laughing uncontrollably. It doesn't sound great, but we were both kind of disappointed when the tongues finally worked.

God, I've got to start dating again.

― en i see kay, Friday, 11 May 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

There was an ep. of Seinfeld where they were finally producing their 'show about nothing.' Someone was talking to Jerry (IIRC, it's been a long time) about the actress who played Elaine, saying she did this thing when she kissed where she circled her tongue around yours. I saw this at abt. age 15, before I'd ever kissed, and I fear this little tidbit was a bit too influential for my first couple of years of making out.

― Abbott, Friday, 11 May 2007 18:52 (eighteen years ago)

THAT and an article in Seventeen Magazine that suggested you just part your lips and let the guy take it from there. Not good advice, unless some secret cabal run by Seventeen was handing out actual good kissing advice to teenaged boys to compensate.

― Abbott, Friday, 11 May 2007 18:53 (eighteen years ago)

you just part your lips and let the guy take it from there

Wow that's a little sinister.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 12 May 2007 22:30 (eighteen years ago)

this thread reads like a whole bunch of beggars being choosers.

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, 12 May 2007 22:43 (eighteen years ago)

I kissed this guy a long time ago that did little pecks!! it was so gross and seemed like something a little kid would do or something. Note: he was not a little kid.

cosign otm! except it was a gurl

Gahhh I have not kissed someone for so long its ridic

-- homosexual II, Friday, May 11, 2007 8:46 AM (Yesterday)

;_; tell me about it

― lfam, Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:10 (eighteen years ago)

I has a swirly tongue girl - she was my second or third ever kiss - unforgettable. 'Mother Universe' by the Soup Dragons was playing on the radio. Then she said 'I'd better go home'. AND THAT WAS IT GAAAH.

― moley, Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:15 (eighteen years ago)

there was a gurl who opened her mouth and then...nothing. what? where did you go?!

― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

She got guilty because she had a boyfriend.

― moley, Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:48 (eighteen years ago)

you shut yr piehole

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 01:18 (eighteen years ago)

She was the one who did the swirlies. Then she bailed out. Obviously not fully reconciled with her inner slut.

― moley, Sunday, 13 May 2007 03:11 (eighteen years ago)

Poor girl.

― Trayce, Sunday, 13 May 2007 03:20 (eighteen years ago)

I once had a drunk makeout session with a girl with a really bumpy tongue, like sandpaper. And she wasn't afraid to use it, either. She whipped it violently around and it felt like kissing a mouth disease. Later that night I had to check in the mirror to make sure I wasn't cut.

― Z S, Sunday, 13 May 2007 03:49 (eighteen years ago)

OK this thread is really putting me off hahaa. Ew.

― Trayce, Sunday, 13 May 2007 03:50 (eighteen years ago)

unh huh

― remy bean, Sunday, 13 May 2007 04:13 (eighteen years ago)

c'mere baby

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 04:13 (eighteen years ago)

xp?

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 04:14 (eighteen years ago)

Z S may have been kissing a catwoman hybrid of some kind.

― moley, Sunday, 13 May 2007 04:41 (eighteen years ago)

In high school I finally got some time alone with **** ********* and we were kissing each other, and then she started talking to me in a completely different ACCENT and started clawing my back, but in a hurty kind of way, and saying things like "I wish I had a knife so I could cut you" :(

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 May 2007 14:33 (eighteen years ago)

there was an article about that in yesterdays daily mail

― 696, Sunday, 13 May 2007 14:38 (eighteen years ago)

i feel a sudden need to brush my teeth furiously :(

― homosexual II, Sunday, 13 May 2007 18:53 (eighteen years ago)

oh, i didnt see that article

― 696, Sunday, 13 May 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

Tracer, that is truly terrifying.

― Abbott, Sunday, 13 May 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

My current main squeeze bites me really hard and says she would like to eat me! And not in a cute way either - she really means it. Lady, I tell her, I'm a man, not a mantis.

― moley, Sunday, 13 May 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

all ILE threads turn into vorarephilia threads eventually

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 13 May 2007 21:54 (eighteen years ago)

I'd always been a swirly tongue kinda guy until I had a one night stand with a lass who was a total lip nibbler - it completely changed my ideas.

Although I do feel that the way someone kisses you is the way they like being kissed.

― Stone Monkey, Monday, 14 May 2007 16:04 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

well i found out the way to avoid this problem. break up with the person.

(not that that happened cos of the kissing, although it did still sometimes slightly annoy me, despite both of us treating the situation with humour.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:31 (eighteen years ago)

Neck kissing is of course classic. As is neck biting. Also giving hickeys.

― moley, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

no, hickeys are way dud

― kenan, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 23:58 (eighteen years ago)

any time you are creating an actual vacuum, you need to ease up.

― kenan, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 23:59 (eighteen years ago)

also, walking around with a hickey makes you feel like marked territory, which is gross. Why dontcha just pee on my leg next time, ok?

― kenan, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

Kenan is oh so right. Hickeys are for 13 yr olds.

― Drooone, Thursday, 31 May 2007 00:07 (eighteen years ago)

― youn, Thursday, 31 May 2007 02:24 (eighteen years ago)

you guys are all dead inside

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 31 May 2007 02:33 (eighteen years ago)

i've kissed a girl who didn't 'do' tongues, uueergh it was horrible. i can't even think of an appropriate analogy.

― darraghmac, Thursday, 31 May 2007 03:01 (eighteen years ago)

wtf?

― PappaWheelie V, Thursday, 31 May 2007 03:16 (eighteen years ago)

this girl didnt really know how to do tongues either. i dont think she was really into it. or at least she would never slip her tongue into my mouth. or not every often in any case. was very odd.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Thursday, 31 May 2007 10:13 (eighteen years ago)

This one girl just stuck her tongue out as far as it would go and moved it around in a brisk circle. And she tasted slightly sickly, like boiled sweets or something.

― chap, Thursday, 31 May 2007 11:48 (eighteen years ago)

XP: In that case, I've been told before by someone I made out with that girls should keep their tongues in their mouths and let the boys do the invading, so maybe she's heard the same thing.

― Laurel, Thursday, 31 May 2007 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

Vertical kisser? Dated one. Wide open mouth kisser? Ditto. The latter was one I was able to get used to eventually, but her teeth would almost always cut my lip in the same spot.

― mh, Thursday, 31 May 2007 13:27 (eighteen years ago)

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