Ask Fluffy Bear about the Pirates of the Carribean Trillogy.

here's a question. why do you care whether we understand these shitty movies.

why couldn't any of the other pirate ships or the other navy ships engage whilst they were in the whirlpool? i know there was a storm, but there seemed to be hundreds of those navy ships just sat there, when they could have gone around the whirlpool.

what the hell was the whole 'keira knightley you are calypso' shit?

why is this movie 3 hours long

In Trading Places why do they *all* put on disguises and pile into the train carriage, and why do they try to do the switcheroo twice? And that whole business with the gorilla...

here's a question. why do you care whether we understand these shitty movies.

It is in the interest of our intellectual well-being that we not let things go unexamined. It's like when you're reading, and you come across a word you don't know. If you don't go look it up, well, you still don't know that word, and you don't really understand the sentence, either. You have cheated yourself out of what may have been the most knock-you-on-the-floor stunning sentence you have ever read. And that's just sad.

why do you care whether we understand these shitty movies.

altruism

why couldn't any of the other pirate ships or the other navy ships engage whilst they were in the whirlpool? i know there was a storm, but there seemed to be hundreds of those navy ships just sat there, when they could have gone around the whirlpool.

They got all spooked out by that supernatural shit.

what the hell was the whole 'keira knightley you are calypso' shit?

When Rush spoke with Yun-Fat about Calypso he looked knowingly at Knightley. Hence, Yun-Fat's confusion.

it's in the interest of my intellectual well-being that i never think about this garbage again xp

why is this movie 3 hours long

Because the awesomeness couldn't last forever.

In Trading Places why do they *all* put on disguises and pile into the train carriage, and why do they try to do the switcheroo twice? And that whole business with the gorilla...

Please see "laser beam eyes" above.

They got all spooked out by that supernatural shit.

and working with the fishpeople for however long didn't prepare them at all?

t's in the interest of my intellectual well-being that i never think about this garbage again xp

Please secure your intellectual well-being post haste.

and working with the fishpeople for however long didn't prepare them at all?

They had yet to mess with a goddess.

This three-part mess no more deserves the word trilogy than the Naked Gun series.

Possibly less.

in the form of a localized whirlpool?

xpost

'this is our hill and these are our beans' trumps everything in this trilogy.

In the third film, are there scenes where things jump out at you? 4lex (age almost-9) is worried about this aspect of the film.

i think the writers literally pulled the story out of their ass. like, they stuck blank sheets of paper up their rectums for a few hours, shat them out, and transcribed what they saw onto their laptops. the resulting screenplay was printed out and handed to the cast and crew.

this movie makes NO FUCKING SENSE

i mean, the second one at least had the appearance it MIGHT be leading to some sort of conclusion

or maybe that was just wishful thinking

In the third film, are there scenes where things jump out at you?

Yes, and there are more bodies, many of them flying through the air.

this movie makes NO FUCKING SENSE

Why won't you let me help you?

When the second one ended with the "Yup, there's a sequel coming!" moment, it was like having a junkie cousin say "Great news, I changed my flight and I can stay another month!"

the second one is brilliant - i reject most criticism of it.

s1ocki u killjoy remind me what blockbuster films u do like.

When the second one ended with the "Yup, there's a sequel coming!" moment, it was like having a junkie cousin say "Great news, I changed my flight and I can stay another month!"

No, it is like having a cousin with great drugs. You hate him and his drugs, but you keep going over to his house and complaining about it.

i dunno, i enjoyed the second one while i was watching it. i liked the giant squid. which they KILLED OFF in this one. idiots.

there's a lot of show don't tell going on which in a way is good and i'm glad these films confuse plebs but they should've showed us more of Barbosa and Sparrow being brought back to life. what happens to their 'original' bodies anyway? it's all a bit TOO convenient perhaps. not a 'believability' issue of course.

"Sparrow being brought back to life" WTF?! Didn't he get, like, EATEN BY A GIANT SQUID at the end of the second one?

(I didn't know before today that they'd even made a third one)

Yes, and there are more bodies, many of them flying through the air.

Thanks FB; I'll pass it on.

somehow his mind, soul AND body are all retrieved from purgatory by his chums even tho his body presumably remained in the kraken. alternatively the kraken was itself a ghost squid that could transport itself to another dimensions but fat chance of seeing that sadly.

I think I have the uncanny mutant ability to pay attention to movies or there are a whole lot of people out there who are really fucking dense because this movie wasn't hard to understand at all!

How come Jack Sparrow and Squidface didn't fall off the mast when they were DUELING IN WHILE THEIR SHIP WAS IN A WHIRLPOOL FOR LIKE AN HOUR. People got married and shit while they were up there.

omg the marriage! god this was so shit!

This was so the shit!

I fully endorse movies that are seriously invested in unironic nonsensical campiness.

there's a lot of show don't tell going on which in a way is good and I'm glad these films confuse plebs but they should've showed us more of Barbosa and Sparrow being brought back to life.

They could have showed us much more, in general. Sincerely, I wish these movies were longer.

Mortals and goddesses disguised as mortals go to hades and bring back dead through trickery or magic/magic creatures. Classic.

what happens to their 'original' bodies anyway?

The makers of Pirates are not heretical dualists.there's a lot of show don't tell going on which in a way is good and I'm glad these films confuse plebs but they should've showed us more of Barbosa and Sparrow being brought back to life.

They could have showed us much more, in general. Sincerely, I wish these movies were longer.

Mortals and goddesses disguised as mortals go to hades and bring back dead through trickery or magic/magic creatures. Classic.

what happens to their 'original' bodies anyway?

The makers of Pirates are not heretical dualists. Plus the Kraken is a supernatural beast.

How come Jack Sparrow and Squidface didn't fall off the mast when they were DUELING IN WHILE THEIR SHIP WAS IN A WHIRLPOOL FOR LIKE AN HOUR. People got married and shit while they were up there.

I think we have established their credentials. They are really awesome pirates. Why are you worried about their athletic agility? One dude just came back from the dead and the other has a squid head. Plus they are all drunk.

omg the marriage! god this was so shit!

This was so the shit!

You are correct. This was absolutely the shit.

How come Jack Sparrow and Squidface didn't fall off the mast when they were DUELING IN WHILE THEIR SHIP WAS IN A WHIRLPOOL FOR LIKE AN HOUR.

I think that people who ask questions like this have clearly wandered into the wrong movie by mistake.

I think I have the uncanny mutant ability to pay attention to movies or there are a whole lot of people out there who are really fucking dense because this movie wasn't hard to understand at all!

It really isn't confusing.

They must have been wearing some awesome shoes. I mean, anybody else would have slipped and fallen to meet their doom, but those two dudes could handle the hurricane-like weather, and still maintain their balance.

xpost - No, I knew which movie I was going to. I think, though, the levels of the unbelievable were pushed to astounding new heights as each movie came out, which is kind of awesome.

i don't calypso paid off as well as she should have. it was like 'we need her for certain plot points, and it's also good for some extra tension' but then she grew big, turned to crabs, and made a whirlpool. i was expecting some big showdown with the foreshadowing, but if she really terrorized the pirates back in the day, nobody seemed to bothered that she went back to being a proper goddess.

wait how could they be drunk when in the first movie they couldn't get drunk because they were dead despite the fact that Depp was drunk when he was dead even though the dead can't get drunk or eat

They must have been wearing some awesome shoes. I mean, anybody else would have slipped and fallen to meet their doom, but those two dudes could handle the hurricane-like weather, and still maintain their balance.

xpost - No, I knew which movie I was going to. I think, though, the levels of the unbelievable were pushed to astounding new heights as each movie came out, which is kind of awesome.

They fired the resident physicist three minutes into the making of the first film because he was harshing their awesome pirate buzz.

Who needs logic? They swashbuckle!

swashbuckle was weak.

x-post

i have no problems with "unironic nonsensical campiness" or crazy supernatural fantasy elements or what-have-you. i just hate it that the screenwriters can't properly resolve all the stuff they take time setting up in the prior films without adding a million extra convoluted subplots which go nowhere.

i think the calypso thing is what made me lose it at this movie. what a fucking waste of a character!

Calyspo was a big red herring, yes. That's one criticism that came to me as I was watching it; my wife's comment was "Why does the black girl have to have crabs??????"

(Which, you know, made everything awesome again.)

Oh, Disney.

wait how could they be drunk when in the first movie they couldn't get drunk because they were dead despite the fact that Depp was drunk when he was dead even though the dead can't get drunk or eat

Depp wasn't drunk when he was dead. Who said the dead pirates were drunk in the first movie?

Other than Calyspo, I can't think of a sublplot that went nowhere that really had anyplace interesting to go...?

i think the calypso thing is what made me lose it at this movie. what a fucking waste of a character!

Calyspo was a big red herring, yes. That's one criticism that came to me as I was watching it;

See, these movies should have been longer. I think we could have done with another hour of Calypso madness and ship battles. Unfortunately, there were commercial restraints.

actually i think that dan's wife's crab joke almost redeems the movie for me

yeah, that's a good one.

Fluffy,

Does this sound anything like the guy in the movie. I've never seen any of these films and kinda improvised the voice (badly) on the fly.

P. Plains

actually i think that dan's wife's crab joke almost redeems the movie for me

Dan's awesome wife's sense of humor could redeem anything, which means, given the state of the world, she has a lot of work ahead of her.

Fluffy,

Does this sound anything like the guy in the movie. I've never seen any of these films and kinda improvised the voice (badly) on the fly.

P. Plains

Hahaha. Um. It sounds a little bit like Wolfman Jack with a headcold, plus he really needs to go to the bathroom. (Don't hit me. The spot was funny.)

hmm I could've sworn deppp was drunk off his ass on the desert island in the first movie

hmm I could've sworn deppp was drunk off his ass on the desert island in the first movie

Depp wasn't dead on the desert island in the first movie.

WHAT I thought he was dead the entire movie, wasn't that the twist?

No, he wasn't one of the spooky pirate people until he picked the gold out of the chest near the end, before he started the battle with Barbossa.

I've been living a lie then!

WHAT I thought he was dead the entire movie, wasn't that the twist?

Jack became immortal only for a brief time after being stranded on the desert island.

He stole a coin right before the final battle with Rush. Then he gave it to turner who bled on the coin and released the curse. Rush, who was wounded, dies.

Sorry about the redundancy. Stupid work people bothering me.

ive seen 1 and a half of these movies (chronologically dont worry). what do you think?

ok I confused Deppp with Bruce Willis

ok I confused Deppp with Bruce Willis

Bruce Willis is a zombie in Planet Terror. Maybe that is what you are thinking of.

ive seen 1 and a half of these movies (chronologically dont worry). what do you think?

You get an 'F'. You must see all three to get a 'C'. You cannot get anything above a 'C' without participation in class discussions.

Oh, I am so dense. Sorry. Obviously you were referring to 6th sense. Stupid bear.

so you think i should soldier on? i'll take it under advisement. i was in a monastery at the edge of the kathmandu valley and i was watching the 2nd one on my friends laptop and i got about half way through when i was just all: ahhh fuck it. tentacle face was nice tho.

i was in a monastery at the edge of the kathmandu valley and i was watching the 2nd one on my friends laptop and i got about half way through when i was just all: ahhh fuck it.

How often do you travel? What the fuck were you doing watching a Disney movie while you were traveling through Nepal? Do you have jpgs?

http://kscakes.com.nyud.net:8080/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/do-u-has-jpgs11.jpg

uh i try to travel as much as i can, cause i like it, i have a weakness for novelty. i guess i was just borded or wanting some entertainment or something that's why i watched it - i also saw jackass 2 and the bird people of china. i wanted to see this bollywood movie called shakalaka boom while i was there but i didnt. heres some pix from the trip http://scoopsnoodle.com/nepal

uh i try to travel as much as i can, cause i like it, i have a weakness for novelty.

That's great. I am jealous.

Nice pics. This one needs thought bubbles:
http://scoopsnoodle.com/nepal/IMGP0891-01.jpg

that's me and sakyong mipham rinpoche

we went on a trek and i died

Dude, Pirates is totally dharma. Sakyong would approve.

ha i'll ask him about that

please don't ;)

I fully endorse movies that are seriously invested in unironic nonsensical campiness.

Exactly. Also, your wife's sense of humor rules all.

I also like the fact that for all the unironic nonsensical campiness, the third movie begins with a bunch of people getting brutally hanged, including a kid. Then, of course, they start singing and The Bad Guy is happy about it, bringing said campiness into full effect.

OK, so in Pleasantville, when Lee Krasner has turned to color and is all embarrassed and ashamed about it so Spider-Man helps her to put on gray makeup? What did they do to her eyes!??!!?

Then, of course, they start singing and The Bad Guy is happy about it, bringing said campiness into full effect.

That is the first time I laughed out loud during the film.

The obvious comparison point in my head to that part is Les Miserables (the musical, not the book).

Are you comparing that to the death of Gavroche? lol, now I MUST see this film. Especially since DH's workplace is sending us to Les Mis this summer and he is not exactly a fan of that show.

Are you comparing that to the death of Gavroche?

Wow, Les Miz would have been ten times better if that little bastard had been hung in the first minute!

(I also find the adult version of Cosette useless, dull, and hang-able, but that might just be me.)

Now I'm imagining how many musicals and movies would be improved with annoying characters hung in the first minute.

Well, to be fair, it might be better to let them live for 5 minutes or so, just to exhibit their annoying qualities enough for the crowd to really get behind the hanging. (Unless it's Sandra Bullock, in which case, everyone knows she'll be annoying before the movie even starts. Or worse, Kirstie Alley.)

i saw this movie tonight and it was great fun! i'm drunk, and i didn't even see the second movie, only the first one. now i'm going to watch doctor who. so much adventure! tomorrow i relax by watching somebody more sedate solve crimes.

Easier to follow than the second one. About a half-dozen too many plot threads, still. "Attack of the 100-Foot Black Woman with Crabs" was either as willfully offensive as the cannibals in DMC or indicates a level of sheer stupidity as Disney that shouldn't be allowed in a corporation as omnipresent as the Mouse is.

That said, I think Will Turner's story arc was the most interesting one in trilogy. Elizabeth acted like every Disney female since the dawn of time and was therefore exasperating. Davy Jones rocks, and deserved better than Aof100FBWwC (see above).

And I chose to believe that Will chose his father over Elizaslut and was glad to die since it stood a chance of getting him out of that ridiculous marriage.

Those are my opinions, and if you don't like them, I probably have some more somewhere.

The Ade Langston version of that is "XXXX, and FUK U IF U DISAGREE." Such a card.

You don't talk sense, white man.

So is this the Pirates 3 thread? It's the about the closest thing I could find via search.

Anyway here's my Pirates 3 drinking game:

*drink once every time someone yells "FIRE!"

Also I love when Barbosa yells shit.

Oh wait nevermind I found it.

i still can't believe one of the pirates is that dood from Seinfeld who argued with George over a parking spot.

Wow this third film was awful. After about an hour I had hope for it, maybe it will all come together I thought. So I waited, and waited, and watched and waited, and became tired, so SO very tired.

Who could sit in a cinema for that long for this? you poor devils.