please suggest a digital video filmmaking certificate course meeting my criteria

So I have a $4725 education award from Americorps; I can use it to attend any Department of Education-approved Title IV school (pretty much every four-year college, and a few two-year technical schools) or to attend a program offered through such a school (usually). I'm trying to find a certificate program (like a month to a year, with a piece of paper at the end) for DV filmmaking, concentrating on writing, camerawork, editing, special effects, finances, the whole deal. I'm also seeking a change from my current midwest college town scene (Columbia, Missouri) while still being in a chill environment -- I've considered San Francisco, Berlin, and Prague.

This is harder than I thought it would be.

I don't want to go to a four-year school and major in film studies or some bullshit, because 1. I hate school and will probably barely be able to stand a year 2. I don't want to spend my money on watching art films with a bunch of idiot kids 3. I only have $4725 anyway 4. I already have taste in spades, or at least there's nothing I can do about it now if I don't. However, this is all that most four-year schools offer. Most certificate programs for DV filmmaking are offered by private schools who aren't approved to take my money.

The New York Film Academy has month-long DV workshops all over the world, in my price range, but they aren't a Title IV school.

SAE has campuses offering certificate classes all over the world, but the only one that can take federal funds in the Nashville campus, which only offers the audio tech course. Plus it's hella 'spensive and I'm pretty sure the Berlin classes are in German.

San Francisco State University extension has a Digital Video Intensive certificate program that looks perfect -- six days a week, four months, covers everything, only takes twenty people a year but the guy says I'd be an excellent candidate. However, it's $10,000, so even if they can take my scholarship (still waiting to hear back), and if I somehow come up with $5275 in other scholarships, I still have to pay for living incomeless in San Francisco for four months, a city where I don't have any tight bros.

Boston University has a month-long DV documentary class in Prague for $3500. It doesn't cover everything I want -- I'm more interested in bluescreen explosions than tasteful framing, but whatever. They say room, board, and plane tickets aren't included in that price, but maybe I could purchase them through the school i.e. use my scholarship remainder on them, maybe.

To recap: I'm looking for a completely comprehensive DV filmmaking program, resulting in a certificate of employability, in Berlin or Prague, offered through an American four-year school, that costs exactly $4725, room/board/plane/babes included, and that lasts for as long as possible. Failing that, I'm looking for the next best thing. Any thoughts? Hurry up because the seven years I've had to use this award ends in December.