food crimes you have committed

2) Peanut butter, meet jelly. Bread isn't invited.

3) my signature salad: wash the lettuce with a hole in the bottom of the bag, then tear the lettuce off and eat.

4) CHOCOLATE COKE (ok, I haven't actually done that for a long time)

once i ate the buffet breakfast at shoney's.

6) sauce on top of pasta on top of salad (no dressing needed, no extra dish to wash)

7) The super-basic questions thread for non-cooks

This still makes me laugh:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/183/415409461_68654b7a14.jpg?v=0

lol, I was bit harsh.

Does this thread have anything to do with the fact that today was Bacon and Gravy Day?

A bit harsh.

#1 FAT CAT
Cheese Burger, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#2 CHICKEN FAT CAT
Grilled Chicken, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#3 FAT SAM
Cheese Steak, Grilled Chicken, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#4 FAT DARREL
Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, Marinara Sauce, F.F.

#5 FAT KOKO
Pizza Steak, Mozzarrela Sticks, F.F.

#6 CHICKEN FINGERS FAT CAT
Chicken Fingers, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#7 FAT NIGHT
Cheese Steak, Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, Marinara Sauce, F.F.

#8 FAT BITCH
Cheese Steak, Mozzarrela Sticks, Chicken Fingers, F.F., Ketchup

#9 FAT ELVIS (JASON)
Gyro, Mozzarrela Sticks, F.F., L.T., White Sauce, Hot Sauce

#10 FAT MOON
Chicken Fingers, Bacon, Egg, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#11 FAT BASTARD
Gyro, Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#12 FAT ROMANO
Cheese Steak, Egg, Pork Roll, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#13 FAT BEDI-BOY
Cheese Burger, Grilled Chicken, Mozzarrela Sticks, Marinara Sauce, F.F.

#14 FAT BUDDAH
Cheese Burger, Pork Roll, Egg, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#15 FAT BULLS
Cheese Steak, Gyro, F.F., L.T., White Sauce, Hot Sauce

#16 FAT PHILLIPPINO ($4.50)
Cheese Steak, Gyro, Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, White Sauce, F.F., L.T.

#17 FAT MOJO
Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, Honey Mustard, F.F.

#18 FAT VA-VA-VOOM
Cheese Steak, Mozzarrela Sticks, Bacon, F.F., Marinara Sauce.

#19 FAT GIGOLO
Cheese Steak, Mozzarrela Sticks, Bacon, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#20 FAT FELLATIO
Cheese Steak, Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, Bacon, F.F., L.T., Honey Mustard

#21 FAT BARRY
Cheese Steak, Chicken Fingers, Egg, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#22 FAT ASS
Cheese Steak, Chicken Fingers, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#23 PHAT NINI 69
Cheese Steak, Chicken Fingers, F.F., Honey Mustard

#24 FAT SOPRANO
Chicken Fingers, Bacon, White Sauce, Hot Sauce

#25 VEGGIE BURGER FAT CAT
Veggie Burger, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

#26 VEGGIE INDIAN
Falafel, Mozzarrela Sticks, Marinara Sauce, Hot Sauce, F.F., L.T.

#27 VEGGIE KOKO
Mozzarrela Sticks, Marinara Sauce, F.F., L.T.

#28 VEGGIE BRIAN ($4.50)
Veggie Burger, Mozzarrela Sticks, F.F., L.T., Mayo & Ketchup

(from my alma mater)

RUTGERS I KISS YOU

I would commit with all this crimes

8. am i the only person who likes cold soup straight from the can?

ahh hurting youre going to make me cry with missing the grease trucks

i would trade all the taco trucks in LA for just a single authentic NB grease truck

: _ :

haaaa i cant even do emoticons right i miss my fat bitches so much

http://l.yimg.com/www.flickr.com/images/spaceball.gif

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/19/23398138_d5b1963a68.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/119/278531320_03dd0bbadb.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/54/105638690_0d17d20455.jpg?v=0

Thx for nausea!!!!!!

FUCK YOU TAPE STORE THATS THE CLOSEST THING TO AMBROSIA AND NECTAR IN THIS IMPURE DAMAGED WORLD

A tomato stuffed between cow intestines and pig brains?! ON A BUN?!

And Raw? playa looka here/ I'm great in the kitchen like mornin cookware/Uncle Jamima, wit my braids wrapped/With 3-minute recipes for cookin' flap jack

FAT BREKFIST- Egg, Bacon, Sausage, Toast, Strawberry Jam, Butter, Cereal, Milk, FF, LTM, Hot Sauce, White Sauce

Ahhhh! The Grease Trucks: site of much drunken gourmandizing amidst the tool hi-jinks.

Already popped popcorn in microwave with a bunch of marshmallows on top. Put on high for about 45 seconds, maybe. Watch marshmallows get hueg -- this is at least half the fun. Turn off microwave, watch hueg marshmallows melt gently over popcorn. Take out of microwave. Eat marshmallow popcorn.

As Sade asks -- is it a crime?

15) cereal with water because someone drank all the milk

CRIMES:

1. Taking peppermint patties from autistic youth, eating 1/2, and then smashing the rest on the ground in front of their bobbling heads.
2. Rubbing smegma into a yuppie customer's burrito instead of goat cheese.
3. Sprinkling polonium-210 on some Russian bastard's sushi.

under the age of 11 :ketchup sandwich - two slices Mrs. Baird's white bread, generous helping of ketchup, server

over the age of 11: Chex Mix.

I mixed Ajvar into my kraft mac and cheese (it was GOOD!)

today i made those really thin ramen like noodles which i impatientianly cooked in barely hot water. once they were hot and gummy i plated it up with some curry paste from the fridge. not good.

there is no food in the house. i had some freezer burnt edamame for dinner.

Shrimp on pizza. Often.

Vernors + Chocolate Milk. A crime no jury would dare convict.

Vernors + choco ice cream sounds good.

Sandwich sliced dill pickles wrapped up with slices of muenster cheese.

I was out of bread.

Danish Blue, mustard and banana sandwiches.
Peanut Butter, lime pickle, ham and salad cream sandwiches.

I'm sure I could mention one of the many times I cooked with a certain delicious illegal ingredient but a) I'm sure you guys can guess and b) I've already been copy-pasted to the posts very much in character noize thread twice, so for everyone's sake I'll give it a rest just this once.

condiments i love too much:
dipping knife into mustard and licking off mustard
peanut butter with a spoon
hummous on finger
dipping leftover bits of wasabi into soy sauce and eating (i did this today)

vodka, ice cubes, soy milk, and chocolate syrup

vodka and half-melted fruit popsicle

I once tried to make week-old leftover take-away curry edible by adding baked beans and cheddar cheese. I ate about two thirds of it, but it was very bad.

vodka and half-melted fruit popsicle

the only thing criminal about this is that it never occured to me before.

actually that last one sounds truly excellent. (xpost - referring to the vodka and chocolate sauce thing, and the popsicle, but not the leftover curry)

i've learned how to make a peanut butter sauce (peanut butter, water, soy sauce, hot sauce optional), and it feels like it should be a food crime, but it's actually a valid meal that i have served to people over pasta or stir fry and had complimented. it feels like getting away with something.

cold ice cream + hot coffee = goodness that everyone else thinks is gross for some reason.

vodka, ice cubes, soy milk, and chocolate syrup

haha I have done this and similar things too, always referred to lovingly as "ghetto white russian".

Two days ago I was out of juice but not gin and didn't feel like going to the store so I emptied a can of peaches and used the juice as a mixer.

1. mustard jar, meet finger

2. Living with my mom during periods of middle school was kind of like ghetto-organic cuisine. I remember making nachos = blue corn chips + cheese in a can + microwave.

3. veggie burger using two Eggo waffles as bun

I ate a cold tofu dog once, thinking it was a real hotdog. I was drunk, but it was still horrible. That is less a crime against food as a crime against myself I guess.

While stoned my ex and I decided that we really wanted spaghetti alfredo. What we wound up with was macaroni mixed with every white and vaguely cheesy and/or creamy confiment we could find in the fridge. It was a superb mix of sour cream, white cheddar, whole milk, cottage cheese and other things I was to fucked to recall now. It was delicious at the time.

When I was a little kid, my sister and I used to put ketchup on our cottage cheese, which made it a lovely pink.

I tried that recently. It was gross.

drank a Corona with concentrated lemon juice yesterday. totally unacceptable lime substityte in this case (actually lemon is never an acceptable lime substitute)

fyi Miller High Life mimosas = awesome

cold ice cream + hot coffee = goodness that everyone else thinks is gross for some reason.

This is a legit coffee drink! If you pour a shot of espresso over a ball of icecream thats an affogato.

gin + fizzy calcium tablets dissolved in water after tonic water ran out.

Thats kind of awesomely genius.

'Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow'

nutella + ham sandwich
skittles dissolved in lemonade

weetbix with hot milo poured over them (poor little match girl cocoa pops).

chocolate spread and lemon curd toasted sandwich = awesome

i made a guinness milkshake recently, inspired by a guinness float - surprisingly good actually

No sandwich filling in the fridge, no sandwich spreads in the cupboard - I don't know how we ran out of both peanut butter AND honey, but anyway I ended up deciding on cold mashed potato sandwiches, with ketchup.

Later that night I trespassed in a park after midnight which was against city by-laws but I'm not sure if that constitutes a crime.

here are some russian foods i greatly enjoyed:

-tomato and cucumber "salad" with mayonnaise
-any fried vegetable with sour cream or mayonnaise: eggplant, green beans, zucchini, etc
-pickled cabbage with mayonnaise
-regular salad with mayonnaise
-any pasta with sour cream or mayonnaise
-desserts with sour cream

despite this, i still hold the belief that not every food on earth tastes good with the addition of sour cream and mayonnaise, unlike some fellow russian students.

- Licking cheese off doritos, then stacking them on the side until they dry together, then eating the stack.

- smashing little paper cup full of honey into another boy's forehead and hair. punishment - copy the encylopedia for one recess.

molly, Richard Nixon liked cottage cheese and ketchup.

a dried licked cheese dorito stack is definitely a resultant stack.

Freshman year of college I had a friend who worked in the dining hall and would steal us cooking wine. We'd drink it with juice, and when we didn't have juice we'd drink it with water.

What exactly motivated me to walk to the convenience store just now, buy a bottle of seltzer, a pint of cookies and cream, and a bottle of hershey's syrup to mix with my vodka and some milk in a bizarre ice cream soda accident?

you're a gourmet masochist.

You're stoned?

In the house where I was raised the only real crime was to waste food. If it were possible to keep some sort of running account, I have probably wasted something like 0.01% of the food I have ever purchased (excluding vegetable peelings and such). Of course, I have eaten some pretty borderline foodstuffs to achieve this record - stale, rancid, moldy - although never all three of these at once.

shit sandwich

refried beans + bread

Why has no one pitched this thread for development at Food Network?

xxpost my husband's grandmother once served my husband GREEN beef stew. "Waste not" is her motto all the way.

frenchfries dipped in chocolate icecream sunday

I wasn't stoned, and it really wasn't an amazing combination - like it was ok, but itdidn't taste anywhere near worth the amount of calories it probably had. I might try just milk/vodka/seltzer next time though

Sorry, I mean milk/vodka/syrup/selzer

TELL ME MORE OF THESE "GREASE TRUCKS"

I am in New Brunswick. I should investigate Y/N?

also: #16 FAT PHILLIPPINO

W.T.F????

Cheese Steak, Gyro, Chicken Fingers, Mozzarrela Sticks, White Sauce, F.F., L.T.

WOW.

Yeah, it's worth trying once. I liked the Darrell at one time but could never eat one again. I do occasionally stop at P.J.'s Grill, if I'm in New Brunswick, for the slightly "healthier" version - it's a grilled chicken based sandwich but has the fries and a bunch of other goop. I think it's called a skinny cat? P.J.'s does grilled chicken pretty well. Anyway, it's better to go to the trucks for the full experience, but they're much more, uh, lively during the school year.

I mean it's basically the French Quarter of New Orleans except with no attractive architecture, no jazz, no cajun food, no balconies, no beads or tit flashes, and a bunch of Lebanese guys yell at you.

Hurting, you're making an alcoholic egg cream!

Exactly.

Ketchup on french toast (no syrup or powdered sugar). It's a thing my family does.

a big spoonful o' peanut butter in hot vegetable soup.

does anyone else do that?

i discovered this while eating a peanut butter sandwich and dipping it into the soup.

i tried to eat a peanut butter and gorgonzola sandwich the other day.

peanut butter and a sharp cheddar is good.

or peanut butter with bacon.

you guys have weird ideas about what is considered to be a food crime. i like it ->it ain't no crime.

pb with bacon is ultimate delicious.

pb & bacon dipped in french toast batter fried and covered in syrup

pb is good on everything. im a fan of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.
dill pickles! those other pickles are the real crime.

strawbeeries (black label with strawberries)

peanut butter and graham crackers

banana burbles (whiskey with mashed up bananas)

cheap italian bread with salsa

It seems like the Grease Trucks are brought up at least once every six months around here.

As stated above, I, too, would trade all the burrito trucks in the greater LA area for the ability to visit Ye Olde Grease Truckes oncet againe.

Taking into account all of the grease truck sandwiches I tried to create when I was an undergrad at RU, I'd be considered a war criminal here. I think I did mozzarella sticks, onion rings, fried egg and gyro meat with tahini on a bun once. Called it the Fat Smith, because, well, that's my last name. I never tried it again.

Oh, it sounds promising. :(

1. stick fingers in cake icing tub
2. stick icing covered hand in box of rice crispies
3. lick fingers clean
4. repeat