please predict what my new office mate will be like.

also: while searching for a relevant thread, i found this which has to be the most awesomest thread ever. it's got it all: office relations, strong opinions re: racisim and music, juniorstencileskimo and alex in nyc!

whoa that thread!

the shoes all off kilter under the desk are a nice touch of slobbery

wait, slobbery? that doesn't sound right

slobomania?

slobphoria

How great would it be if it was the same Frank that started that thread?

i know. i almost thought i should revive that thread because of the frank coincidence.

Hey I'm getting a new office mate next week. He's meant to be "chatty", but apparently he just had a "nervous breakdown".

oooooooh intriguing!

if it's that frank, then get ready to be sweary. and to tell us stories.

uh, i'm fine listening to these things once in a while. i'm just not gonna listen to them all the fucking time. and fuck you. you fuck.

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:04 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

oh, yeah, and fuck you. cocksuck.

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:05 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

did you not read the part where i say "I realize this isn't all that terrible". Dumb fuck. Fuck.

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:06 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

<h3>fuck</h3>

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

FUCK!!!

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

guys, please, let's not fight.

-- hstencil (hstencil), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Go fuck yourself, you elitist motherfucker. Oh, your so pissed off because your mate likes Deep Purple? WELL, BOO FUCKING HOO!!!

FUCK.

-- frankE (frankE), Friday, June 25, 2004 7:07 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

maybe frank also had a nervous breakdown!
xpost

actually, that would be like, office mate made in heaven. i am so scared of swearing at work, when i go on lunch breaks i'm like a tourette's sufferer!

Frank will come to you when you enter a dream-state and will be wearing a rabbit suit. He will be more organized than your former office-mate, but he will bleed profusely from a wound to his eye and it will begin to attract flies. You will be unable to work because you will spend all of your time reading Steven Hawking and jumping through time warps. You're girlfriend will be in danger. Her life is in your hands, dude. Don't forget the ringer.

Frank will come to you when you enter a dream-state and will be wearing a rabbit suit. He will be more organized than your former office-mate, but he will bleed profusely from a wound to his eye and it will begin to attract flies. You will be unable to work because you will spend all of your time reading Steven Hawking and jumping through time warps. You're girlfriend will be in danger. Her life is in your hands, dude. Don't forget the ringer.

goddamnit, that was gonna be my scenario.

frank will be young and sexy, but he'll have a grotesque tumour on his face which you won't be able to stop staring at when you talk to him. he'll also have a fetish for seamed silk stockings, which he will not-so-subltlely ask you to wear to work. he'll also have a habit of picking his nose and wiping it on the side of his computer.

you'll fall madly in love and it will be the office romance of the decade. until you find out he keeps the dead bodies of possums in a suitcase under his bed.

the end.

nervous breakdowns are so old-fashioned, droone's new office mate will be the first person in australia to have had one since 1978! i wonder if he is a chainsmoker with bitten nails.
he also sounds like a potential candidate for 1980s workplace scourge 'repetition strain injury', make sure he has an ergonomic work station.

What's yr profession, tehresa?

ip paralegal, for now.

I always wondered whether those of the law had the potential to be as messy as IT folks. Now I have my answer.

the it folks are probably the neatest people in the firm! actually, i am pretty neat. gets messy sometimes when i am immersed in a project (mostly when the make me do litigation :( ) but then i freak and clean everything up.

but to be fair, ip people are heavily science-based, so you know, mad scientist/scientist oblivious to outside world/etc. when added with mounds of paper involved in legal profession (boo!) could explain the mess.

I guess since I'm in IT, I never see "IP" as meaning, "intellectual property", but instead, "Internet protocol". So when you say, "ip people", I think of a bunch of midgets running through Ted Stevens's series-of-tubes.

that would make my office about 349% more interesting!

I FOUND HIM ON FACEBOOK.

he has a link to chucknorrisfacts on his profile...

also: fratboy confirmation.

Do you find chucknorrisfacts to be hilarious, tehresa?

they were sorta ok as lame office forwards in 2005?

Yeah. But it's 2000-something else now, isn't it?

On the other hand, having any sense of humor at all can be a pretty good score in an office mate.

I believe he'd be like this:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/gorebust1.jpg

or this

http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/donny_1.jpg

uh, frank

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020603/142218__blue_l.jpg
fuck you. you (fucking) fuck.

hehehe

so.

omg...

ok: young republican type, comes in way late but usually leaves before i do, seems to never work and sits at desk e-mailing, facebooking and msnbc-ing all day, is v. concerned with whatever it is i'm doing (i.e., i hang up the phone and he's all 'who was that?' or 'what was that about?' or i was saying something about my boss and i was like 'and then she sends me an e-mail saying...' and he cuts in 'let's discuss this tomorrow' and i'm like woah are you ACTUALLY reading my e-mails from across the room!?!?).

on the plus side, the office is generally cleaner and his laziness has inspired me to give up my 'no ilx at work' rule and start posting during the day (that could actually be a minus).

Sounds like a winner. Do you have a prediction for how long his tenure will be.

my heart goes out to the paralegals of the world

he's been here longer than me! i am slowly realizing that my work ethic is too good and that i should stop working so hard for what they pay me(this is case for pretty much every job i've ever had).

xpost

also, i assume he will never get fired, but will stay here until he gets a big 'break' job/opportunity in washington that will help further his 'political career'.

oh hey so this guy is really bright. he was on the phone talking to someone about grad school and uttered, 'why would i need to do an interview?'

That's bright of him? Maybe he's just a legacy with an entitlement attitude.

I was unaware grad school required an interview.

of course it does!

maybe not ALL of them do, but it's not unreasonable to think that you might have to do one!

I've just never heard anyone talk about it. Or an undergrad one for that matter.

re: entitlement, this is a major possibility. i believe he has wealthy parents who (at least partially) fund his very own apartment at u. square.

so when i posted earlier this morning he had not yet shown up for work. he just left. i am still here. wtf.

ughhhhh fuck this guy

TAKE PICS WITH A PHONE CAMERA

mebbe tomorrow: stealth mission!

i'm not even allowed to have a RADIO

PLS TO CHANGE DIAPER IN BATHROOM NOT CUBICLE ARGHHH

hahaha. while i am okay with people feeding their kid in public (why should they have to eat where i shit) i am ANTI-changing their diapers in public (WHY DO THEY GET TO SHIT WHERE I MAY EAT)!

You don't need to be stealthy with the camera. Just tell him to snile and take his pic. He'll only be flattered.

Ouch, yeah! I think parents of infants have to deal with so much messy stuff that they are overwhelmed into a sense that it's...normal. Which...well, I can't necc say they're wrong, but I would rather find out in my own Basic Time of Parenthood PLS TO USE BATHROOM FOR SOME THINGS.

guys, shit goes in bathrooms, end of story.

What about cat boxes? Should they be put in the bathroom?

it's not just the baby that's annoying, but all the annoying women stopping by her desk all day to coo at it and ask inane questions in yelpy falsetto

I DONT BRING MY CAT TO WORK
so it's not an issue

Actually I think cat boxes SHOULD be put in bathrooms! Or hall closets, or anywhere that is NOT. MY. KITCHEN. FUCK!

Cats shouldn't live with people because they are disgusting horrible animals.

yeah i hate the catbox in the kitchen. honestly i hate them in the bathroom too, cause then the bathroom always smells and has litter all over the floor, but def. better there than the kitchen! ew! but really, these people should just get dogs.

cats for some, no cats for others
same thing w/ babies
NEITHER IN MY OFFICE PLS

Catboxes should not be in bathrooms or kitchens. both places yuck me out.

I work with three men. The baby thing probably won't be happening.

"my nanny makes more than YOU do! hee hee"
stfu

would gladly take a paycut not to work anywhere near that whiny poo factory

they why ain't nanny watching yer damn kid!?
xpost

http://www.itisamystery.com/iiam.gif

*then* not they...

Hee.

Catboxes with lids are ok but not in kitchen. Also autoraking = KEY

I really want one of those autoraking ones.

it is almost 5. please take your damn baby home now so ii can get work done
other women in office please stop agreeing to sing "if youre happy and you know it" you are making baby cry MORE

eeeeeeeeew

haha, where do you work?

ACK GOD FUCK what??? What is this, collective insanity? Also, is anyone going to sockstar tonight on the late side? I can be there just before 11 probably.

inane questions in yelpy falsetto sounds like a film i would enjoy

wtf bell labs

this is MENTAL

possibly sockstar, on the early side tho (want pie) but not sure how late i will stay. i have a splitting headache

oh god nevre want to hear a grown woman say the phrase "clean dipeys" in a register 3 octaves higher than usual voice again :(

inane questions in yelpy falsetto sounds like a film i would enjoy

-- nabisco, Thursday, July 5, 2007 9:03 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

miranda july's next one?

haha. forget the falsetto, even the word 'dipeys' is horribly, horribly wrong.

It's really way more fun and pleasant to talk to babies and small animals as if they're either your bros or on Meet the Press. Dogs love it.

maximum extreme kudos on July joke

talkingtoacat.jpg

WHO'S A GOOD KITTY?

Sadly, I think there have been studies demonstrating that ridiculoid baby-talk is actually useful to their brain development -- I guess maybe all the pronounced sing-song accenting and whatnot are more stimulating, up until they actually recognize meaning content?

Still, the proper way to see these things is "hey, hey baby ... I don't want to embarrass you, or anything, but I think you just kinda ... shit yourself?"

guys. i need to call a girl so i will go to sockstar and do shots

yeah didn't see that ban coming at ALL. very mature.

haa we are all in such pissy moods today.
shots for everyone.

yeah didn't see that ban coming at ALL. very mature.

-- tehresa, Thursday, July 5, 2007 5:28 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

So you only have yourself to blame, I guess!

actually, it's not really an issue of blame, it's an issue of me speaking my mind regardless of what childish reaction you will have.

work over! later dudes! :D

so dude working a full day lasted only... one day. came in after me today and just left! oy.

lol today he is v. amused by the 'sir charge' commercial and has been quoting/immitating it all morning.

this morning he came in and announced that he thinks he is still drunk from partying with alumni from his college last night. i am glad i am not the only one this happens to. also, he is v. jealous that i'm leaving. we are getting along a lot more these days.

hehe he added me on facebook. the circle is now complete. or something.

when is office goodbye partay?

haha i doubt i get one. no one really knows who i am and i got suckered into saying i would work fridays so even though i resigned i am now not actually fully quitting anymore. i do have to move offices, though.

$10 sez they get you a cake anyways

hmmm, if they = the attorney i usually work for, she might take me to lunch.
if they = my manager, i doubt it!

it's threads like these that make me glad and sad that I work by myself.

the crying baby and squeaky women are back D: