questions you would ask of people if (i) they weren't strangers and/or (ii) they'd think you weird

I pass a house on the way to work which has a van with Scooby Doo written on the licence plate below the number. No other words, just Scooby Doo. I want to ask the owner why this is. The van does not bear a particular resemblence to the Mystery Machine (it's a little blue Suzuki, or possibly Isuzu, one) and I find it unlikely that this is the name of the person's company (the van's an unmarked one anyhow) and even more unlikely that it's name of the dealership. Maybe it's the owner's nickname - I have never seen the owner so can't vouch for canine appearance, voice or appetite.

yr pokemons, let me see them

(and your tits, pls)

Those people who wear long 'city shorts' that make them look like a Krankie:
WHY YOU HURT MY EYES

To my ex-boss - do you realising you're chewing your tongue? Why are you chewing your tongue? Doesn't it hurt?

I have about three-hundred questions for the little leprechaun of a man who lives underneath a tent fashioned from a red tarp, high up on the hill near my workplace. I saw him crossing the street once with a plastic bag from the grocery and then being swallowed from sight by the mass foliage that grows on the hill. Now I think about him and what I would say to him everytime I drive past that intersection.

The girl on the bus who used to get off at the school in her ROTC uniform, toddler in hand. Now she's on the bus solo and gets off at Sonic. Question: How old are you?

nerds playing ds on bus:

hey what you playing? want to have a WI-FI LINK UP DEATHMATCH?

I have found actually asking these questions leads to very, very long explanations, and sometimes people showing up on your front porch every night assuming you want to give them beer and ask them more rare questions about their fascinating life.

Guy with the cartoonish beergut who mows yards throughout the neighborhood, always using a different mower, barefoot; wtf is your deal, and don't you know you could cut off your toes?

To the guy with some kind of reddish dome shaped swelling/growth on his cheek: what is it? Does it hurt? Can you have it removed?

It's the size of a ping pong ball. Guy's been nice to me every time I see him, but he's had it for over a year at least.