Today's teenagers' drugs are so much more delicious than mine ever were

Oh, c'mon, it's not like you didn't have friends that smoked oregano flavored pot.

Moncibais then asked how many students knew a "cheese" user. Just about everyone in the auditorium raised a hand. At one point, when he mentioned that the United States has the highest rate of drug users in the world, the middle schoolers cheered.

"You know, I know being No. 1 is important, but being the No. 1 dopeheads in the world, I don't know whether that bears applause," Moncibais shot back.

hahaha what a square

By using the name "cheese," drug dealers are marketing the low-grade heroin to a younger crowd -- many of them middle schoolers -- unaware of its potential dangers, authorities say.

because dairy is so hip with middle schoolers.

They love Doritos and Cheetos.

well not havarti on Triscuit or anything, but if you mix it up with a little jalapeño and market it as zesty nacho then yeah you got yourself a market

middle schoolers do love the Babybel minis though http://kevin.bongart.free.fr/blog/images/dessins/babybel.gif

Those things ARE addictive.

The drug can be snorted with a straw or through a ballpoint pen, authorities say. It causes drowsiness and lethargy, as well as euphoria, excessive thirst and disorientation.

so basically it just chemically reproduces the experience of attending middle school?

...and you're supposed to PAY for it?

remember that commercial (or was it only an AUS thing?) "miniminibabybelbabybelcheese". i liked chewing the wax on the outside more than the cheese itself. must be why i dont do heroin. LIFE LESSON.

cheese is a gateway food

sarah silvrman wants fuck that babybelle cheese

Babybels are fantastic, they have the little pull-tab strap that produces the belt from underneath the wax coating, revealing the cheese pearl lying within

but it's a self-regulating addiction because descent into cheese connoisseurism leads to a relatively more grown-up addiction to chardonnay, which actually restricts fun

I'm actually addicted to cheese, the solid food made from the milk of cows, goats, sheep, and other mammals. In a rare fit of prescience a few years back, I came up with the following street names for "my little monster":

• Queso
• The Case
• Fromage
• The Hunk
• The Chunk
• The Stuff
• The Junk
• The Mouthful
• The Drip
• The Slip
• The Product
• Mouse Juice
• Moon Juice
• Yellow Tar Heroin

yah cheese is really good

MOUSE JUICE???

They love Doritos and Cheetos

One girl was eating a bag of "ranch-flavored" Doritos on the bus at 8 am this morning. I alternated between glaring and thinking how much I admired her iron stomach.

Mice like cheese. What?

it's called Cool Ranch ok it's only been around for like 20 years

"Doritos brand" corn-based "tortilla" "chips"

babybel goudas are better than babybel originals, for serious.

HEY SUNNY I remember a few years ago you mentioned you'd never tried Fritos before. have you had a chance to get at them yet? if you haven't, try the chili cheese ones or the sabrositos ones (you can probably get those at a gas station)

Leary biscuits, dude!

Also:
Why is cheese so addicting? Certainly not because of its aroma, which is perilously close to old socks. The first hint of a biochemical explanation came in 1981, when scientists at Wellcome Research Laboratories in Research Triangle Park, N.C., found a substance in dairy products that looked remarkably like morphine. After a complex series of tests, they determined that, surprisingly enough, it actually was morphine. By a fluke of nature, the enzymes that produce opiates are not confined to poppies -- they also hide inside cows' livers. So traces of morphine can pass into the animal's bloodstream and end up in milk and milk products. The amounts are far too small to explain cheese's appeal. But nonetheless, the discovery led scientists on their search for opiate compounds in dairy products.

And they found them. Opiates hide inside casein, the main dairy protein. As casein molecules are digested, they break apart to release tiny opiate molecules, called casomorphins. One of these compounds has about one-tenth the opiate strength of morphine. The especially addicting power of cheese may be due to the fact that the process of cheese-making removes water,lactose and whey proteins so that casein is concentrated. Scientists are now trying to tease out whether these opiate molecules work strictly within the digestive tract or whether they pass into the bloodstream and reach the brain directly...

Damn yall, I'm gonna have a crack baby cause I've been popping those Babybells like mad.

it's called Cool Ranch ok it's only been around for like 20 years

Since I plan to live well into my eighties I've avoided them.

why would you even want to live into your 80s. have you ever SEEN an 80 year old?

from wikipedia: Currently, Doritos is running a campaign called "Doritos X-13D Flavor Experiment" where black, unidentified bags of Doritos are on the market for consumers to identify and name the flavor.

Whaat? That just sounds sinister to me. The phrase "black, unidentified bags" seems particularly unwholesome. FDA ALERT!!

There's been roffling about that for a while.

CHEETOOS OR DORITOOS

V IMPORTNT FYI

junk food companies marketing "mystery flavor" product shocker

IIIIJJJJ, i still dont know what fritos are! i want to think they're like doritos but i guess they arent. please explain again.

they're cornchips, but unlike Doritos, they're fried, not baked. they look like super long fingernails and oh man you've got to try them!

why would you even want to live into your 80s. have you ever SEEN an 80 year old?

Dood, my 83-y-o grandma chugged a margarita this weekend and does 25 minutes on her exercise bike. Being young is overrated!

yeah they look like this only without the woman or the tree

http://www.neatorama.com/images/2006-08/longest-fingernails-world.jpg

can i get them from my local mapco or exxon self service gas station?

x-post, it could be a fun game getting those rings on and off

more than likely. if you're not 100% satisfied, send me the rest of the bag and I'll take care of it for you.

Being young is overrated!

sounds like something someone who's never tried Cool Ranch Doritos would say

Not to mention her sleeves...? Srsly she must be as good as an invalid.

EVERYONE STOP PICKING ON MY MOM

I'm confused about the doritos promotion. Are they just putting pre-existing flavors into unmarked bags, and then one is supposed to guess if it's, say, cool ranch or smokin' cheddar or whatever? Or is it rather like a contest to name the new mystery flavor?

it's a focus group but with negative compensation

The drug, "Strawberry Meth" or "Strawberry Quick" as it has also been called, is the same methamphetamine that has been in the area for years only with a twist: it's flavored.

surely they mean:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0e/Nesquik_Mascot.jpg

http://i11.tinypic.com/53ucxtl.gif

i can't even get my nails to grow one inch without them splitting. how does she DO that?

btw, i cant wait for cherry coke

i can't stop staring at her.

I can't stop wondering how she masturbates.

Fritos have really lost their cachet over time, though, huh? When I was growing up it seemed like they were the cool thing to have packed in your school lunch or whatever...and they had those "muncha-muncha-muncha-muncha, fritos go with lunch!" commercials. But now they seem to have been relegated to the same snack food ghetto where all the other faded glories reside, e.g., Sun Chips, Combos...

There was a brief window of time when I was maybe 12 years old and thought that Sun Chips and Slice soft drinks were like the greatest things ever. And what's messed-up is, I don't even think that in actuality I enjoyed them all that much...I think I just wanted to, because of the sheer novelty and some weird "cool" factor that I ascribed to them in my mind.

Urgh, I can actually. Phwew I feel much better now.

it's a focus group but with negative compensation

plus no two-way mirrors or random jury-duty type comraderie? screw that, man!

Fritos taste like Tom Waits' breath.

Fritos aren't just a snack, they are a utensil.

Alfred I am jealous of however you got to discover what Tom Waits' breath tastes like.

fritos are made for frito pie. end of story.

Alfred I am jealous of however you got to discover what Tom Waits' breath tastes like.

It wasn't at FRITOCON '04, was it?

what's the popular drug for teenagers nowadays?

prayer

i think what you're looking for is rohypnol

So my little sister snuck out of the house tonight with 2 guys (they are all freshmen) to go walk to burger king supposedly. She told me not to tell my mom and I said alright. My little sister is smart but I don't know whether I should tell my mom or not. These teens are in an Odyssey of the Mind world competition. My family (sans me) are driving 14 hours to Iowa tomorrow and are leaving at 5 am. I just don't want my little sister to ever start smoking pot.

Smoking banana peels for the newer generation

i wouldn't worry about her smoking pot lorax, it's probably just something smalltime like heroin

lol yah its probably not pot shes smoking

^lol