DON "SEX MF" KNOTTS

OH GOD CAN'T CHOOSE

Barney Fife was a bad motherfucker.

LET ME CLARIFY THIS

no contest, fer God's sake

AND THEY USED BON AMI!

i picked gus because it also features eastern europe, football, donkeys, dick butkis, and johnny unitas. it's hard to argue against that movie.

xpost, see, morbius agrees.

amazing wardrobes this man had

wait morbius might be referring to the ghost and mr. chicken :\

unpopular vote for matlock

He's an ASTRO-KNOTT turned ASTRONAUT in the Maddest Mixup in Space History!!

^^unused tagline for "the astronaut farmer"

haha wow I totally don't remember Bob Crane being in Gus... I wonder if he and Knotts ever... um... *shudder*

you sick fuck

Hey I love how vague Morbs' post is, I think we agree on something for once.

Actually, Mr Chicken was my fave of the movies but c'mon, he only had ONE signature role. At least Bob Denver had two.

Shakey, if they had, Steve Buscemi wd've been in Auto Focus.

yes, and that signature roll was the incredible mr. limpet.

morbs is right, mr limpet is career-defining XPOST GODDAMN YOU SCHEF

stop copying me!

I've never seen Limpet, tho I've heard "I Wish I Were a Fish." I was taken to Mr. Chicken in a THEATER (it was a re-release, I was about 7).

No Ghost World?

no, because i'm not lame.

ghost and mr chicken vs ghost and mrs muir

vs mccabe and mrs miller

vs scarecrow and mrs king

vs Heart to Heart

vs kramer v kramer

vs joe vs the volcano

ok we have to stop before we start going all ecks v sever or whatever the hell that movie was called

Where's "THE LOVE GOD?," most awkward movie ever.

http://www.interestingideas.com/ii/pix/love1.jpg

In The Love God?, the most adult of his vehicles, Knotts is the innocent Abner Peacock. Editor of a bird watcher's journal and member of the church choir, he is taken up into the adult world of hypocrisy, careerism, dissipation and debauchery when he is off watching birds and sleazy publisher Edmond O'Brien takes over his magazine for a front, turning it into a smut rag.

From sap to martyr is, in Knotts' world, a short hop, and soon he is on trial for obscenity. Abner comes prepared with testimonial plaques and potholders from the folks back home who know him as a bird-watching nerd, but hears himself described by the prosecutor as a man of "unspeakable depravities." His eyes are those "of a man obsessed by sex, eyes of a man whose lust knows no bounds," the attorney says.

Then Abner goggles in disbelief at "his" defense. As bleeding hearts are wont to do with the suckers who come under their wings, Daryl Evans Hughes of the Council for Constitutional Liberties uses Abner to score his own political points. "This is a dirty case and a dirty man," the attorney says as Bob Hastings (a veritable Knotts stock company) looks on in awe. "It is with disgust to the point of nausea that I see myself sitting next to this filthy little degenerate. But when I see this filthy little degenerate's constitutional rights being threatened..." everyone's rights are threatened.

Knotts is acquitted, but his notoriety opens up a whole new career path: Mr. Sex, the sexual revolution's flagbearer.

Knotts' characters always suspect they are aristocrats misplaced into a patsy's body, and life. In this case, Abner is helpless in the face of the flattery and manipulation of those who stand to gain from his ill-repute. Unable to comprehend the modern world, he tries to be the answer to frustrated America's most wicked dreams, as he is called, even though he's about as sophisticated as a 10-year-old. He dresses in Nehru-style jackets, dances with go-go girls and in general acts the sap he is being played for. And he definitely doesn't get any.

In fact, Knotts is as uncomprehending of lust as he is of all passions. His own sexuality in all these films is unbearably polite--what his granny taught him, perhaps--leading him to read all sexual signals as sincere and literal. Indeed, he is panicked by any sexual threat, real or imagined. Incapable of separating put-ons from come-ons, in The Love God? he ultimately is hoodwinked into believing he has been laid, which leads him to assume the posture of the damned.

"Don't touch me Rose Ellen. Don't dirty yourself," he says to his small-town sweetie.

The home-town folks know he is too big a dweeb to have had sex with anyone, but he doesn't: "I am cursed with an abnormal sexual magnetism for women," he concludes.

However, incomprehension gives Knotts what virility provides others. It ultimately allows this painfully thin hayseed to stand up for himself in the face of odds that would send any sensible person scurrying. His weakness lets him triumph.

That makes Knotts one of the few leading men of his time who truly deserved to be called anti-hero. Nicholson, Hopper, Eastwood and the others may have abandoned the moral virtue once de rigueur in Hollywood protagonists, but they were cut from the same sexual cloth as Humphrey Bogart, Gary Cooper, Henry Fonda, and the rest. Don Knotts, though, was everything these guys weren't. Terminally wimpy, ridiculously stupid and sexually repulsive, he was the true negation of the Hollywood he-man ethos.

-c/o Interestingideas.com

i accidentally deleted it while trying to whittle out random appearances on the steve allen show or love boat after copy/pasting from imdb :\

Andy.

okay I have to see the LOve God now

I have a vague memory of crying at the end of Mr. Limpet, but I gotta go with Barney.

ok I feel the need to buy this.
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51MJ74CVZBL._SS500_.jpg
it has
The Ghost And Mr. Chicken
The Reluctant Astronaut
The Shakiest Gun In The West
The Love God?

on one dvd

Don "The Franchise" Knotts

whoah

Everyone who votes for Mr. Limpet is OT8080 FOR ALL TIME

i voted matlock.

what's the movie they shot at biltmore?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

matlock???? he's not even on it that much....u mad

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

many retards on ILX

GHOST & MR. CHICKEN is possibly my favorite movie. Silliest trial and sentencing ever!

posted on Steve Purcell's FB recently:

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/c0.0.313.313/p403x403/601316_4370034575067_951428581_n.jpg

I fink ur freaky and I like you Don Knotts

man, he aged into his dummy.

Early roles

Knotts began his career performing in many venues, including a ventriloquist act with a dummy named Danny "Hooch" Matador. In a TV Guide interview in the 1970s, he spoke about how, when he was in the Army, he was getting tired of playing straight man for a hunk of wood. According to Knotts, while on a ship in the South Pacific, he took the dummy topside and tossed him overboard. He swore he could hear the dummy calling for help as the ship sailed on, leaving him bobbing helplessly in the waves.

Wait, that quoted bit in the thread title is...accurate?

Something I don’t talk about a lot is that my grandma cheated on my grandpa with Don Knotts

— Drew Gregory (@draw_gregory) May 12, 2020

woah

playa

learning about the marriages of Don Knotts pic.twitter.com/pJT9biLKsb

— paige (@BonerWizard) April 14, 2020