Sid Waddell: genius or erm .....genius

Sample quotes:

"this is the greatest comeback since Lazarus"

"under that heart of stone pulse muscles of pure flint"

"John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians"

etc etc

Jossies Giants = 80's kids tv progtamme featuring a humourous bunch of disparate kids forming a footy team coached by aforementioned Jossie.... and hilarity ensues, famous fopr a remarkably wooden cameo by Bryan Robson in a hideous jumper

And you have to love 'em for it!

"when I see Steve Davis I see two letters .........C S...... Cue Sorceror"

how can anyone not love this man?

Mind you I like this thread, it's nice and cosy just the two of us with Kate popping in occasionally.

Right I'm off home see you later

By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!

-THUD THUD-

Jossie's Giants"

I guess the answer to your question Paul is, er no, not very well.

We're called jossies giants / Footballs' just a branch of sciiiience / Head the ball now, Jossie Go / THUD THUD Jossies Giants.

Oh, the memories come flooding back.....

Do they still have "Bull's Eye" on the TV over there?

I think Bullseye stopped a couple of years ago, although I was reading somewhere that they were thinking of redoing it, so it might be back again. I don't know, I didn't watch it, though the father of a schoolfriend of mine used to watch it obsessively in the mid-80s so I saw it a few times then.

Stuart Hall, another commentating genius, his reports on the football for Radio 5 in the Uk are the work of godlike wonder.

"There's only one word for that - magic darts!"

"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"

"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristaaaa"

"even hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles"

"IN A WORD.....MAGIC DARTS!!!"

" Looks at these darts William Tell eat your heart out" " Steve beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what ellagance a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax." " if your round your auntie's tonite, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of eachother"

Phil Taylor MBE.......... Massive ballisstics.....expert

he's a true tungsten terpsichorialist (wtf????)

it'd be the most surprising comeback since Lazarus rolled away the stone and said "HIYA!"

what a man.

this one continued into a rambling long commentary on how Phil Taylor had got so good that he would no longer play mere mortalks and would in fact be contesting the next world champs against the best the spirit world has to offer, and that he would beat them too, as well as the inhabitants of Mount Olympus.

the man is a cult hero; a real legend. One of a kind.

Viva Sid!

> CLASSICAL SID > > "It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia." > > "His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna." > > "Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in > Essex." > > "That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus" > > "Bristow reasons... Bristow quickens... Aaaah, Bristow." > > "It couldn't be more exciting if Elvis walked in now and asked for a chip > sandwich." > > "When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were > no more worlds to conquer. Bristow's only 27." > > > SURREAL SID > > "He's as cool as a prized marrow!" > > "Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint." > > "Here's Baxter doing a cock-a-leekie soup job on Ovens!" > > "He's playing out of his pie crust" > > "He looks as happy as a penguin in a microwave." > > "Like they say in that old Canadian-Indian proverb, 'When the squirrels > march backwards,the forest is on fire' - and Bristow is ablaze" > > > STRANGE SID > > "The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome" > > "His face is sagging with tension." > > "The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board." > > "He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends." > > "Harrington's not on fire. Memo to boy scouts - take two sticks to Circus > Tavern immediately" > > "There'll be pies 'n' pickles plasterin' pubs around Preston." > > "The Tension. As tangible as brown sauce on a sausage butty." > > > ARE YOU SURE SID? > > "Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall > body strength." >

Jossys Giants

Swapping their homework for footwork, Kicking the ball till its dark,

Here go Jossy's Giants, Footballs just a branch of science, Head the ball, now Jossy calls...

Jossy's Giants!!??

Dependable, Reliant Put your faith in Jossy's Giants Get stuck in, we're gonna win...

Jossy's Giants!!

***BTW i thought i iinvented sport billy in my head once - i was a little disappointed to find out i hadn't***

http://msn.skysports.com/skysports/article/0,,15150-1039981,00.html

Daredevils taking their chances,
Burning the candle both ends,
Now that soccers second best, [it really matters how their dressed]?
[dur dur dur dur dur dur dur]?,
The score tonight is the discoteque,

We're called Jossy's Giants,
Football's just a brand of science,
Head the ball now Jossy go
THUD THUD JOSSY'S GIANTS!

Their girlfriends cause distraction,
but [dur dur dur dur? Soccer action,
[dur dur dur dur dur dur dur dur]?,
THUD THUD JOSSY'S GIANTS

Of course I may be wrong. And did I imagine a children's program called Geordie Racer that involved a racing pigeon?... And some Geordie's...

I've only just become aware of Sid's genius. I've been involved in a longrunning debate about whether Fat Ron or John Madden was the most deranged, unaware that the argument was utterly redundant.

Some WaddelLisms I've picked up at this year's darts:

'It's like he's playing against mortals now, and Taylor's a member of the Mount Olympus Working Men's Club'.

'He could get another 12 darts in there if he wanted'

and most strangely of all:

'Taylor's daughter there; she doesn't know whether its Pancake Tuesday or April Fools Day'.

And what is going on with his volume control? It sounds like he's either having sex or being poked with a big spike. There are definite similarities between this and Dev in Coronation Street when he gets upset. Don't know what that means....

"mesmerising parabolas" which could only have been a Siddism.

Apparently he also told viewers to tape last night's match and put it in a time capsule cos the little 'uns would want to see it in a thousand years time or summat like that anyway.

Jossy's Giants star sighting No 1:
I was once on a bus with the woman who hung around the lads in Jossy's Giants. It was in Rochdale, for the show was set in North Manchester. I reckon Bolton be the place in truth (which fits, for the bus in question was the 400 which went from Rochdale to Bolton)

Jossy's Giants star sighting No 2:
Kieron O'Brien who was in Jossy's Giants was actually able to play football, as he played for another team in our league (the Radcliffe District Junior Sunday League in case you weren't in the slighest bit interested) in the mid 80s.

How 'bout that! as commentators say in baseball movies.

Also - Jossy's Giants was rubbish as they chose poorly in the great action vs acting issue. The kids couldn't even act that well either. Though they were better than Bryan Robson who appeared in the episode in which he pretended to know Jossy from way back and got the gang in the audience for Question of Sport. Fancy - the days when Question of Sport was a big enough show to merit being featured in another. Though it was better than Sporting Triangles.

and some classic Waddell too

RIP

awww, RIP. i would watch the darts as a kid just to listen to him.

:(

RIP

Remember him going on a massive enthusiastic description of the great speeches Nye Bevan had given at the Blackpool Winter Gardens, full of marvellous detail, in the intro to a darts tournament there (world matchplay?). Sky's anchor, Dave Clarke, clearly had some producer yelling in his ear telling him to get Syd to stop, cos he kept going 'yep', 'right', 'right', 'yep', 'but', 'moving on' but Syd was irrepressible. It was fantastic.