I'm not being funny, right, but it's Big Brother 2007 (UK) Thread 2.

Why was there no poll? Us lurkers have a right to know!

(Tongue in cheek obviously!)

Is Charley bipolar? Seriously?

what poll?!

We were going to have a poll each week, I think. But that was when we were going to have a thread each week.

hahahaha

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT

the twins are psychic task

so so funny

"OMG these things work."
"Big Brother, you have made us psychopathic."

Those were the only things I got form the whole conversation.

was laura the only one who could see gerry covering himself in slop?!

aldo, you missed the majesty of amanda's "a chicken and mushroom apple pie?"

this bears repeating on this thread in case anyone missed it:

Jonathon does not appear to have gone. This has, however, allowed him to deliver the zing "Ah Laura, delightful to see you upright."

-- aldo, Thursday, June 28, 2007 3:10 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

aldo, you missed the majesty of amanda's "a chicken and mushroom apple pie?"

I did not, I apologise.

I'm amused that I'm sitting here wondering how you know what's going to happen when it hasn't happened yet, and after half an hour I realised that I was watching on delay. I R BRANE.

Taht is teh cuet.

OH NOES I AM TURNING INTO G_KIT

Not that that is a bad thing, obv. </save>

Aw psychopathic twins.

No way will Ziggy leave. Though he is funny when he goes all emo in his hoodie.

no way. "i would like to put in a request to leave" does not equal "can i go now please?".

That woman is unbelievable.

she could have a fight in an empty room.

The Brian thing they just showed on BBBM ("which one of these was not by William Shakespeare"; "I loved Babe, I was vegetarian for a week.") was SEVEN SHAED OF AWESOME. Brian must win, srsly.

I LOVE THE TWINS. THE TWINS MUST WIN.

Or at least Brian, if not them. Sometimes I wonder if he's actually cleverer than he lets on, and that he's realised it the loveable-but-hopeless ones that always do well. Then I come to my senses.

So has Jonathan actually gone then, today (proper today, as opposed to today on TV?) If not, was he pulling a big sympathy stunt to avoid being nominated?

No, Jonathan has not gone. Neither has Ziggy or Carole.

I was just about to start a new thread, title based around "Hello, Big Brother, I'd like to leave now" which is the new catchphrase.

But, this one does make sense to have, and will stay current for a while.

OK, this story...

Brian reiterated his belief that women do not poo like men, tonight.

"They asked me a question about womens' shits," he revealed to the other housemates after being asked questions in order to win some treats. "They don't do proper shits, do they? Amanda told me the other day she don't do a poo. Women do rabbit poo."

The other housemates, astounded by this revelation, began to laugh. "That...it comes out like tiny pellets?" snickered Nicky.

"Brian, it's the same," sighed Laura, wondering: "How can he be so dumb?"

However, Brian was not to be deterred. "Women don't do full-on turds," he insisted. "I don't think women go for a proper poo."

"We're all the same inside," Tracey told him. "Next time I go for a proper poo I'll show you...we do proper logs!"

Moving onto the topic of farting, Brian added that he didn't believe women did "proper farts...I never hear the twins fart, or Chanelle fart."

"Women are just more discreet about it," noted Sam, backed up by Carole, who said that when the twins did fart, they would "go into the toilet and giggle".

A bemused Jonathan concluded the fecal talk by exclaiming: "Do you know, what I love about this show is the highbrow conversation...It's like the Culture Show isn't it? Sadly, I feel more at home here than on the Culture Show."

That's the BB talk I like to hear.

Or at least Brian, if not them. Sometimes I wonder if he's actually cleverer than he lets on

On BBLB yesterday, they were saying that they had contacted his school, and that he has a GCSE in English. His school principal confirmed that Shakespeare was an "unavoidable" part of the GCSE curriculum, so there's no way he didn't at one point know who the man was.

Who do you want evicted on Friday?

Billi Bhatti 57%
Carole Vincent 12%
Tracey Barnard 31%

http://vote.sparklit.com/poll.spark/1045929

It's really dropping dramatically!

Tracey could actually be the 'surprise' eviction tonight!

Bear in mind, Seany didn't have the 'majority' vote last week, even though that poll had him over 50%.

God, I hope Tracey goes tonight. She's one of the worst housemates in BB history. She's contributed absolutely nothing so far, apart from the "did you get my baccy" incident mentioned in the last thread. I actually picked up my phone and voted last night, for the first time ever.

There was an awful lot of hate for her on BBBM last night.

I can't watch that since that guy's been presenting it this week.

He is fucking awful, yes. There was some ironic "chav comedian" on last night too, fuck knows what that was about.

Anyone else called Russell that they could get in to do it?

Mr Mael, where are you?

Actually, I don't think he's called Russell at all.

I think he's called "Colin Moulding, from XTC, circa 1979"

I'd prefer Russell Grant

"Do you know, what I love about this show is the highbrow conversation...It's like the Culture Show isn't it?'

i take it he hasn't seen The Culture Show recently then? it's about as highbrow as Hollyoaks. jesus, Brian must go. i loathe this cult of ignorance, and even more so if it's fake. him and Gerry are my unfavourites. not that Gerry's thick, i just don't like him.

Whi is that guy on BBBM? I have never seen him before anywhere.

And as for the ironic chav...fucking hell. Come back George Galloway, all is forgiven.

Grace Dent's pretty funny, as usual:

http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/tvod/

Anyone else called Russell that they could get in to do it?

http://www.nndb.com/people/954/000044822/Russell-2.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Jrt02.jpg

the funny bits must have been deleted before i got to it.

xxpost

Billi Bhatti 55%
Carole Vincent 12%
Tracey Barnard 32%

shrinking...

Get on those phones, I want Tracey to go!

the funny bits must have been deleted before i got to it.

I thought it was funny, but can someone clarify the deal with England's smoking ban for me? Will the housemates no longer be allowed to smoke at the designated smoking section in the garden?

the big Brother house is a microstate and thus not part of UK sovreign territory and not subject to its laws.

The ban covers workplaces and enclosed public areas which I don't think the BB garden comes into. But I wouldn't put it past BB to ban it anyway since they seem intent on breaking the hosuemates down at the moment.

They're always intent on breaking the housemates down

I don't know how the ban will work in England, but since the ban came into force in Wales, you can't even smoke at bus stops.

The "Smoking area" is external, away from windows.

I know, but that Grace Dent lady on the RT site seems to think they're not going to be allowed to smoke. I was just wondering if she was right.

There's an interpretation which says that since the HMs are paid a daily rate for being on the show, they're employees of Endemol and so technically the whole house area is their 'workplace'. On this basis they wouldn't be able to smoke anywhere, even in the garden.

speechless

INCREDIBLE

Pagan dude seems least worst of a really fucking appalling bunch. Textbook damning with faint praise, I know.

Seriously, does Shanessa even own a mirror?

this must be supposed to be a caricature of big brother

that star stories thing has made me feel a little sick : ////

xposts

sitting here with my balls hanging out

lynne's on holiday

the star stories thing was embarrassing for all involved

david surprisingly sound, so far

They're very nearly worse in reality than they were in the pictures I tried to post^^^.

Peaches Geldof really wants to be her mum, doesn't she?

poor lynne

Quick look at forums seems to suggest that the "twist" Davina referred to is that two existing housemates will leave to make way for the two halfwit house entrants.

Hurrah, that'll be great, I'm sure.

I mean, how can it fail? Really.

i missed all that because of a pet bereavement (my neighbour's pet not mine).

probably for the best.

i means best that i missed it.

During the 'Meet The New Housemates' sequence all they showed of the posh girl was her smiling. Probably the fairest edit.

Brian and the new HMs have been shouting at each other through the storeroom. Shanessa has described herself as "amazingly fit" and "a porn star".

white girls called chanelle and shanessa - only in england

Pagan dude seems least worst of a really fucking appalling bunch. Textbook damning with faint praise, I know.

-- ailsa, Friday, 27 July 2007 22:35 (Friday, 27 July 2007 22:35) Bookmark Link

Yes, I said to Anne that it's kind of hard to accept that your favourite of five people is the one that thinks he's a witch.

WTF Shanessa "describe myself? Dirty. Some people call me dirty. Yes a lot of blokes would think I'm a dirty bitch." WTF

Haha the rollover text on her BB pic on the website says "Care assistant, stripper (not at the same time!).

Also 26 years old?
http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/media/images/Channel4/bigbrother8/contestants/shanessa_256x145.jpg

i can believe 26 y.o. crack addict, yes.

Haven't seen any of the footage yet but I'm assuming this is a GET TRACEY OUT stunt, followed by getting one other housemate out. I'm assuming BB is hoping this will be Sam, chances are it'll be Carole, chances are the new housemates will be evicted asap because this NEVER WORKS.

it worked with aisleyne but i agree with you overall.

Aisleyne doesn't count because she was in there from reasonably early on, and also the one who was involved in that ridiculous fannydangle involving the three housemates people couldn't evict quick enough.

every time the trailer for this award winning shite "star stories" has come on i say to sam "what award did this win, most shite comedy?" and he goes "you've said this about 20 times now". but can i just get this out somewhere?

ah, I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's just something that can't not be said.

Most of my keeping up with Big Brother this year has been through this thread, so, uh, thanks, everyone! I'm usually the cliché who starts off determined not to watch it because it just irritates me, but then gradually get drawn in to being irritated, I guess. There's still time! From what I've seen, I'm most amazed by Charley's speed-speaking. Anyone who speaks quickly enough to literally foam at the mouth has my admiration.

white girls called chanelle and shanessa - only in england

Actually, Shanessa's Welsh.

So I went out last night and missed this. I might have to stop watching until the crack ho is gone tho. She's kinda disturbing looking.

kinda?

Well I'm no oil painting meself

but I'm sure you drape a discreet piece of canvas over areas in need of restoration

jonty has stolen some of gerry's schtick and made it weird! I really want to see how they react to each other. shanessa looks like this year's jayne - unwatchably repulsive.

All series I've been saying "it's great cos there's no freaks this year". Obviously they've been storing them in a shed somewhere.

watching the repeat. some of the naked vitriol on the signs is amazing!

jog on charley...

Jonti looks like Mark Lawson

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/news/newsstory.jsp?id=16981

Zippy is some kind of King of the Douchebags.

I can't never work out any actual meaning in a Chantelle/Ziggy conversation.

Hah! I've just found out I went to school with Amy. Her VT is even better now.

"I do have some degree of intellect, I am relatively well educated by the government's standards"

Not if she went to our bloody school she isn't, it's a shithole.

Okay WTF?!

Utterly batshit. This man must go in.

Hopped up on goofballs, right?

jonty looks like L0u1s J@gger

that isn't what I typed!

L0u1s J@gger

Haha. Good stuff Keith. I bet this doesn't work with Becky Lucas.

ziggy is a really rubbish man

really hope chanelle doesn't go even after all this drrrama

http://media.nothingtoxic.com/uploads/213.jpg

So whose name gets replaced with LJ's then?

I think it's just that "Louis Jagger" automatically turns into "L0u1s J@gger"

ooh!

New Thread time?

Seeing as the Charley days are now over, bar the newspaper 'revelations'?

Big Brother 2007 (UK) Thread 3: In the future, we will all be on Big Brother for 15 minutes each!