say something interesting about this man's shirt

Macrame - never a good look

Shredded Wheat, knitted by nans

that shirt is, and can only ever be, full of pillock.

"Holl', big yin, yer fuckin' jumper's goat a hole in it"

As a rule of thumb, if your nipples are visible to a casual observer, you aren't actually wearing a shirt.

ararraghghgh nipples

The two other people are desperately trying not to look at the jumper.

Producer of next Britney Spears hit

Watch closely: it IS Britney Spears!

His legs are of disproportionate length to his torso

In that case it's Tina Turner.

If it was Britney Spears, that'd be a SKIRT not a shirt and she obv would not be wearing much underneath either.

Dude looks like a porn actor.

I have to say I kind of admire him. He's got a look and he's not afraid to rock it.

His jeans are very white

I bet dude makes a _lot_ of smoothies

Makes a lot? He IS one.

dude's got windowpane

This thread makes me want to renew my subscription to Us Weekly - I miss the fashion police.

Dude looks like a porn actor.

If only he could hear this compliment, he'd be chuffed, I am so sure.

Mugatu: It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!

Look at how perfectly his nipple is framed!
It's like a nipple window.

I have to say I kind of admire him. He's got a look and he's not afraid to rock it.

I'm with you on this. This shirt and the man in it are all kinds of amazing.

i'd probably rather chat w/ him at a party than any of the other ppl pictured

(no offense if those are yr friends or something gr80)

I wonder where you would go about purchasing a shirt like that.

Purchased? He had to sell his left nipple to get that from the devil himself.

I kinda like the shirt. Or at least his sheer balls for wearing it.

Looks like the kind of bloke who would invite you back to "look at his etchings" or something. I hope he macramed it himself. Though I bet his barefoot and pregnant commonlaw wife macramed it while he was out swinging.

I wonder if he keeps the shirt on while sun-bathing. Having a fishbelly-white ghost image of the shirt—that would rule.

I kinda like the shirt. Or at least his sheer balls for wearing it.

I think he's actually using this as a way to get the attention away from his underachieving balls.

I can't see picture.

Oh wow. Now I can. Jesus.

I bet that guy handcrafts furniture or pottery or musical instruments. I bet he makes a killer mango/avocado salsa. I bet there's lots of turquoise in his house, and that he has a collection of belt buckles.

lol hawaii

man i want that shirt

I wonder, Maria, if that's giving him too much credit? Based on the douchebag glasses frames, kanji tattoos, and prominent sparkly jewelry I think he is more up his own ass than a maker of killer mango salsa and handcrafted woodwork would likely be....

Look at how perfectly his nipple is framed!

his nipple looks suicidal! the stories it has heard about nipple jail are true

i wld def go talk to that guy though b/c of the shirt

me: so, your shirt, tell me about it
nipple shirt: ah yes, i had it hand-crafted from my own design
me: what was the impetus behind your design?
ns: well, people seem to want you to wear shirts at parties and i'm not much of a 'shirt guy' [finger quotes], so for me this is perfect
me: so you're saying it transcends the social boundaries of what it means to be half-naked at a cocktail party, allowing you to mingle comfortably yet maintain your anti-shirt beliefs; that it's both a shirt and not-a-shirt
ns: hehe i'm saying it's alright knowwhatimean
me: RONG

i wld def go talk to that guy though b/c of the shirt

-- rrrobyn, Thursday, July 5, 2007 6:05 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

laurel otm

i'm not much of a 'shirt guy'

Haha I mean, I don't really understand the West Coast but some fashion douches transcend geographic differences in subcultural identification.

well whatever he is, if you were to ask him I'm right at positive he would answer "Artist"

Even tho I read Maria's post before I've only just noticed his belt buckle. That akshully is kind of nice.

"not a shirt guy" = direct literal translation of tattoos

actual language translation = "mighty chicken fat"

this man is wearing my hammock.

nipples

his nipples look so obscene!

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/columbia_pictures/the_fifth_element/milla_jovovich/bandages.jpg

no nipples no cred

the savior of the world has no need for nipples

A kind of wimpy beginners version...
http://www.artybees.co.nz/bizarre-book-images/why-craft-fairs-are-scarry-and-crimes-in-the-kitchen/crocheted-man.jpg

i'm gonna stand up and say that while I hate this shirt, I honestly think it was intended as a SWEATER, to be worn with an ACTUAL shirt underneath it. You know, in a misguided GQ fall fashion 1994 kinda way.

... although if not... well, that's some serious International Male level faggotry, then

i overheard him saying (in a kind of nasaly voice iirc) that he wished he had one in white.

I wish he had one in napalm.

i'm convinced that the only suitable accessory for this shirt would be a hanging spider plant, worn a la man-purse

http://www.gotoreviews.com/metaefficient/archives/images/6spider.jpg

If this guy were lined up with ten others and someone put a gun to my head, I'd lick this guy's nipples because they are the most likely to not be moldy.

^^ CNN.COM LEAD STORY

IMPORTANT NEWS ABOUT HUMANSUIT'S NIPPLE-LICKING PREFERENCES -- COULD IT SAVE YOUR CHILD'S LIFE?

BAN CNN

His nipples might be more generally dirty after being exposed to the elements.

i wonder if humansuit licks nipples at gunpoint without being specifically asked?

PANIC STATE INITIATED
CHOOSE ONE REFLEX ONLY
(A) fight
(B) flee
(C) find a nipple and get some slobber on it, yeah

"It's 10pm. Do you know where this guy's nipples are?"
"Unfortunately, yes."

Seriously, though, Elmo totally OTM about this being worn over a long-sleeved t-style shirt for a mid/late-90sish male runway look.

When I was maybe 12, I was watching this older girl I knew take some clothes out of a bag, and she pulled out a very wide mesh shirt, and I said "you really wear that?" and she said "umm yeah?" and then there was an awkward moment before she figured it out and said "no, you wear it OVER a shirt."

This guy is the opposite of that girl.

it'd be daring to adhere a bunch of 2" x 2" carpet squares to your chest with, like, dental glue in the exact inverse pattern of nipple-man's shirt, and then show up at the party and pretend you're really mad at what he's done to your shirt.

haha!

His nipples might be more generally dirty after being exposed to the elements.

In Mumbai I may be more likely to suck other nipples, but certainly in most world cities pollution has decreased dramatically since the 1970s. I have never been to Mumbai, ergo this is a strong rule of thumb.

Is that the correct use of the word 'ergo,' Nabisco? I want to protect myself from Ned Raggett calling me an idiot again.

As for being 'told' to lick a nipple, wouldn't that be relative? If told, I do, if not, this strategy would certain cause the gunman to freeze for a split second, long enough for the group to subdue him, yes? Ergo, nipple-sucking under armed duress is a strong rule of thumb.

the fuck you talking about

i'm gonna stand up and say that while I hate this shirt, I honestly think it was intended as a SWEATER, to be worn with an ACTUAL shirt underneath it. You know, in a misguided GQ fall fashion 1994 kinda way.

I agree with you and Nabisco. Definitely whoever drunkenly glued these pieces of wool together and said "there! I've made what can technically be described as a shirt! Can I go now?" to whatever Rumpelstiltskin figure wouldn't let them leave a room until they'd made a garment intended it to be worn over an actual garment.

I bet he is actually English but thinks that dressing like this will help him blend in with Americans more.

Good camouflage if you're standing in front of a portcullis.

It's kind of the worst of both worlds, is the thing. He doesn't get to have any shirtless hunkiness, because he is wearing what looks like someone's grandmother's decorative chair-cover over his torso. But he also ruins any opportunity for sexual surprise -- like, he can't take it off and reveal his chest or anything. (Actually I think if he were getting with someone, there would be a huge awkward question concerning what point was appropriate for taking off the shirt, and maybe some horrible chance it would just wind up staying on all through.) That shirt is like a trailer for a bad movie that gives away the twist, rendering both the movie and the trailer worthless and appalling.

Also I bet it gets caught on crap all the time.

Why even wear pants with that thing? That's what I'd tell him.

I would be more on the impressed side if he had a whole bodysuit like that, with a codpiece.

He looks like he says "right on" a lot.

its a shame that the glasses came out so blurry. they were bordering on raquet-ball goggles.

http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/chefelf/images/rnt_nib_triscuit.jpg

I bet he is actually English but thinks that dressing like this will help him blend in with Americans more.

I don't know (well, I do) but he seems so German.