post phrases and sayings that you really don't agree with

3. two wrongs don't make a right. i'm sure someone can come up with a perfect example of why they do. u know?

Two wrongs don't make a right is more a rule of ethics than an easily-falsifiable common-sense dictum. It means that you cannot absolve yourself of one sin by committing another, as a matter of principle, rather than accident. It doesn't mean that one good never springs from two evils, examples of which are easy to find.

i am the small cat

Opposites attract - take a look at Brian May and Anita Dobson.

"what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" is dubious

I'd say a stroke is probably the best counterexample.

"what doesn't kill us makes us stronger"

in the army, the second part of this phrase is :"and what kills you makes your mother stronger".

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Depends on the birds, obv.

"smile and the world will smile with you" - good only in certain places on earth...and even on those places - prepare to be treated as a hypocrat or a jerk.
i'd say - smile only if you feel like it.

The meek shall inherit the earth.

http://masklinnscans.free.fr/4chan/loljesus_01.jpg

"gotta love it" - I hate this assumption, I'm glad that you like something some much, but please don't assume that I have got to love it.

I feel like I'm in some sort of reverse IQ test where you have to explain why common aphorisms are totally stupid, rather than having to say what they mean.

"The simplest explainations are often the best". whatevzz. there's nothing simple about anything.

"Birds of a feather flock together"

Not always! Some birds are very solitary!!!

"That's the way the cookie crumbles"

Please be more specific! Cookies crumble in a myriad of ways depending on their ingredients.

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world"

like, how RONG is this??

"We all have our cross to bear"

Leave me out of your broad overgeneralizations, Christians!

"A stitch in time saves nine"

I don't even know wtf this means

"All dogs go to heaven"

http://www.mgbeng.com/archive/joy_devildog.jpg

"A stitch in time saves nine"

This is actually very sensible and true. If you've got a rip in your trousers or shirt or whatever, stitch it up before it becomes a huge hole. Take action while a problem is small and it might not balloon.

I used to think that "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" was about how people on the outside could look in and see you throwing stones and that was socially unacceptable.

"Slow and steady wins the race"
uh, no. Fast and steady wins.

That interpretation is great, Maria, and further goes to show that Billy Joel is a total asshole.

He even wears gloves when he throws rocks, compounding his arseholeitude.

"time heals all wounds"

not always.

"good things take time"

fuck that, i want it now! why do i have to wait? i'm on a biological clock; the longer this so-called good stuff takes to turn up, the less time i have on this earth to enjoy it.

"slippery slope"

"everything happens for a reason"

^^^i hate that one too - esp when it's said to right after some really terrible shit has happened and you're still trying to recover.

I don't believe it's true one whit.

"absence makes the heart grow fonder"

really? does it?

it should be "absence makes the heart grow heavy, sad and fucking frustrated"

"what goes around, comes around"

still waiting on that to be proven correct.

It isn't, not even with boomerangs (at least the way I throw them.) Karma-like anything can eat it.

"put Compton on my back when you was in need of soldiers"

"money can't buy happiness"

i beg to differ.

Are any of them right?

occasionally.

even a stopped clock is right twice a day (THIS IS INDISPUTABLE)

NOT ON MERCURY

sometimes I think about the fact that, during those two instants, the stopped clock is 100% PERFECTLY ACCURATE, which is something that no ordinary, properly-working clock could ever hope to achieve, and it sort of blows my mind

"He died for you!"

"everything happens for a reason"

-- ryan, Saturday, July 7, 2007 9:17 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^i hate that one too - esp when it's said to right after some really terrible shit has happened and you're still trying to recover.

-- Rubyred, Saturday, July 7, 2007 9:19 PM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

so yeah, hearing that after something awful has happened is about as comforting to me as hearing "it's all in god's plan" or somesuch (i.e. not helpful at all, shut up plz thx)

I agree with the above sentiments.

"a watched pot never boils"

of course it does.

unless you forget to turn the element on.

"life's what you make it"
though i do like the song.
(it's kind of the opposite to lennon's "life is what happens while you busy making other plans")

most of those phrases are cliches that people invented to try and make the world a simple,understandable,secure place in perspective, while the truth is that life and the world is somewhat chaotic and absurd.
the only correct phrase is:
"the only thing that is certain in life is death".

"You have to want this so bad that you're willing to risk everything ..."

'Real music'.

"hen fap"

"Hindsight is 20/20"

No, the past is just as distorted by our own personal view of reality as the present and the future.

unless you forget to turn the element on.

omg DEEP!

sticks & stones may break my bones, words will never hurt me.

"It's as simple as that".

Things never usually are, and the sub-text is "I'm going to force my way on this, I'm not listening..."

sticks & stones may break my bones, words will never hurt me.

-- emsk, Sunday, July 8, 2007 10:16 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

lol srsly. like ARRGGH NOOOO, not a STICK!!!!

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/98/38/22183898.jpg

"It's the exception that proves the rule".

I really, really hate people using this when you've pointed out something that would prove their argument wrong. It's not what is the intended meaning of the saying! And how could it ever work?!

The saying itself makes sense in a couple of ways: 1- "proves" used to mean something like "tests" so kind of makes sense; 2- when something isn't specified you can extrapolate from what is specified to derive a rule e.g. "no parking between 2-5pm" you could take this 'exception' to conclude that the general rule is "parking permitted except for between 2-5pm" or suchlike).

C.f misuse of "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing".

taken as it's meant to be taken, ie with 'proves' meaning 'tests', 'the exception that proves the rule' is an odd bit of rhetoric.

It is a bit odd, but as a repsonse to a counter-argument it's admitting that the rule can be tested and is therefore not set in stone. Whereas saying "well, that exception just proves my rule" and walking off triumphantly = arrrggghhhhh.

Never go to bed upset

"you can't belive everything you read". my mom likes to say this a lot when I tell her about how shitty her President is. This from a woman who reads the bible like a cookbook.

xxxpost

Especially since Pope actually wrote "A little learning is a dangerous thing".

It's funny too, because people who misuse that phrase are usually misunderstanding the meanings of "a little" AND "dangerous" (they're imagining it in the ironic sense of "Dangerous Minds")

18th Century writers be crazy worried about/frightened of Cliffs Notes.

"It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission."

Better for whom, asshat?

TS: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" vs. "Familiarity breeds contempt"

The stopped-clock line is untrue in the following instances: digital clocks, clocks with the date inset, and clocks with AM/PM indicators.

"Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder" = probably truer

You can't make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs.

Literal: you could break ONE egg and have a tiny omelet

Figurative: This is not a good retort when someone is saying "You could have accomplished that without that collateral damage." But I guess I am just saying fuck stupid rhetoric in general, aren't I?

"It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission."

I always thought the quote was, "It is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission."

Asshat makes the heart grow fonder.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs.

I've always heard that as '...without breaking an egg', so your literal complaint doesn't work. Figurative still holds, though.

Absence makes a cold heart wander.