this is the thread where you all update me on a daily basis as to the goings on around here...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

because i can't be arsed to keep up with the whole thing right now.

― cleopatra turner, Wednesday, 27 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i have to go now. my time is up.

― i sleep in a drawer., Wednesday, 27 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

gale's back, and so's the rockism debate

ash are better than creed, anna lost her purse, mike daddino is a theban

AND THAT'S IT!

― mark s, Wednesday, 27 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The big dressing gown debate!

― jel - -, Wednesday, 27 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave Q's got a doppleganger!

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 27 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I suspect the returned Gale in the same way I suspected the return of Jock Ewing.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, where's the Dave Q doppelganger thread?

I go away for a few days and all sorts of things happen...

― Nicole, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nicole, it's just that someone claiming to be Dave Q came to the pub and now the 'real' Dave Q says that wasn't him.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gale and Doomie turned up on the same day. "It is clear from my textual analysis, Watson, that both are ill-educated, Canadian and insane."

― Sam, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And they were both defeated by Marcello the Good. All hail our saviour! Subscribe to his scriptures, venture out into the world and develop his teachings.

― Astounding Stories, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nicole, it's just that someone claiming to be Dave Q came to the pub and now the 'real' Dave Q says that wasn't him.

I like the idea of ILE impersonators.

― Nicole, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No one can impersonate me for there is no one like me on these boards.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but would anyone want to?

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They should endeavour to equal me for I am an avatar.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you're a talentless twat.

― steph, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Children children.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Steph, if your twat is talentless I would suggest Asacol suppositories 800 mg tds for an initial period of three weeks.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Will somebody shut this twit up?

― Paul Wilson, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some of the best and most intelligent people in the world are hopeless at making jokes (witness Marcello and Momus). This isn't supposed to be a dis. I just think it's sweet/interesting.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marcello, as someone who works in the health industry you should know that it's a pessary that's needed for a talentless twat and not a suppository, which would be applied anally. UNLESS YOU ARE AN IMPOSTER or, ...... GALE!!!

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

NOT a mistake - I know EXACTLY what gets me going, pal, heh heh.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Some of the best and most intelligent people in the world..." YOU HEAR THAT! YOU HEAR THAT!! JUSTIFICATION! RECOGNITION OF MY INELUCTABLE WISDOM! ALL HAIL MARCELLO THE GOOD! ALL HAIL MARCELLO THE WISE! WE SHALT PROFIT FROM HIS TEACHINGS AND SPREAD IT AMONGST THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD LIKE NEWLY-LAID TARMAC AT THE JUNCTION OF ST LEONARD'S CHURCH AND STREATHAM HIGH ROAD PRECISELY AT 5:40 WHEN YOU HAVE TO GET HOME IN A RUSH AND IT'S A BLOODY CRAWL TO GET THROUGH THERE AT THE BEST OF TIMES EXCEPT 'TIS BENEFICIAL AND NOT MALEFICIAL! HOSANNA IN ERM CHELSEA! AMEN (CORNER TOOTING).

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See!

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why are there so many of me and so few of you?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Perhaps I just don't get them (how could this question ever be resolved?)

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We shuffle by with a paltry one full rounded personality at a time. Unfortunately the constant stress of being Marcello, Xstatic Peace, Chingford Tor Ascender, Wally Klemmer, Dave Q and Gale means that the personality thing is spread pretty thin.

― Pete, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Going the other way, how many posters here are actually the result of a group of people working to make one consistent person? (Apart from me, that is)

― Alan T, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Look, Banal Baran, I am NOT Dave Q, I did NOT pay a starving Equity member to sit in t'pub pretending to be same, and I am NOT Gale. RIGHT????

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

oh, and dave q, who sends his physical emissary to pub meets. but that was such a poor job as they were out of synch the day after.

― Alan T, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

and none of them particularly funny either.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am NOT Gale. RIGHT????

Methinks he doth protest too much.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Funnier than you at any rate, you unpleasant bastard.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N. : A Tom Ewing production. Nicole Willett films. With the assistance of Film Four and Canal+. (catering: Pete Baran)

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

awww, bless, time for the medication now, that's right, hand over the keyboard.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That was very poor. Is that the best you can do? You neither emulate nor echo my exalted existence but merely emanate egg-like effusions into the ether.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ah, but I don't have to try so hard as your piss poor ramblings usually show you up perfectly well.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay - a fart gag.

― Jonnie, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

READ THIS:

I know this is will be perceived by some as somewhat spoiling the fun, but seeing as this thread is for people to tell people what's going on and seeing as things are going a bit tits up again:

Dave Q did not really turn up at the pub (or his imposter). That was a joke.

No one really thinks you are Dave Q or Gale, Marcello.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Which only goes to prove, Dastoor, that you're as crap as making jokes as I am.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Err, I think it was Dr C's joke actually. Never mind. Everyone calm down, yeah? We're freaking people out.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm calm, Mobundo. It's all of youse who are having the epileptic fit, not me.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus christ! Marcello, I think it would be a good idea if you went and took a walk for five minutes - or went off and did some work for a while. Oh but are you just having a joke with us? In that case PLEASE take it to Channel 5.

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

QED.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

QE2.

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See I knew you were going to say that.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew you did I said you did, what am I thinking now?

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How to turn your last post into a coherent sentence, perhaps?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a lovely day outside, marcello.

― katie, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sez the Chingf0rd Tor Ascendxx0r/Xstatic Peace mang! Mango. Mangoes!

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe where you are, K, but where I am it's just clouded over again and about to piss piss-poor diluted rain.

Plus, in my real life, I am currently obliged to find excuses to make people redundant and then smile and pretend there's going to be a place for everyone in the new wing. Which probably makes me the shittiest shit on these boards, in real terms.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Clarke, if you wish to score points off my spelling, grammarial and syntactical prowess, be my guest. Mark Twain once stated that any man who could think of only one way to spell a word was sadly lacking in imagination. To quote yet another authority on this matter, "matthew tonite i am gonna be bono."

Please, do go on. Tell me of my other deficiencies now that you have weighed me in the exacting scales of your judgement. I am all ears.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I come in peace. Nick - it was actually Pete who first mentioned the DQ imposter (see thread : Thanx for fantastic evening ILX Massive). I thought it was a good wind-up and carried it on, as did several others. It's a good idea to knock it on the head now.

Marcello - I talked to several people about you last week, as I was curious to know what you were like in person, and disappointed that you weren't there. I heard lots of genuine concern and good intentions. Right now, you're pissing off a lot of good people who don't deserve it. Lay off. A wise-arse response is not of interest.

― Dr. C, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh come on Dr C this is good bare knuckle stuff. Square goes! Everyone needs it once in a while, otherwise we'd go genuinely mad. You know I'm just mucking about, as indeed Dastoor, Clarke etc. know full well. Nothing wrong with a bloody good argument, surely?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually Marcello, we didn't know. And you're deluding yourself in an extremely worrying manner if you think your behaviour is 'just good sport'.

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah beat me to it, but Marcello, she is right, I found your comments on various threads over the last couple of days unpleasant, and rather than ignoring them like I should have done I bit, more fool me. But no, it's not "square gos" or knockabout fun, it's boorish behaviour.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well you were the one who called me an unpleasant bastard a week or two ago, CB, so act as you believe.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And Clarke, given the multiple mutilations doled out to the English language by your Atommick Brane, it ill befits you to deride unfairly skilled artisans who are fully schooled in linguistics and are thus able to break the rules with full knowledge yet with daring and aplomb.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus, Marcello, that was only as a reaction to you being bloody unpleasant then. Are you really this nasty in real life or are you just being hard on the internet, whatever it is, just give it a rest , please.

― chris, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And do you recall exactly why I was being "bloody unpleasant" on that specific thread, Brown, hmm? Whatever you might think of me I have NEVER wished death on the family of another poster. Dig?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Err, yeah, seriously Marcello. I don't think it's fun at all. I'm not joking here. I know you often say this kind of "I'm enjoying this" thing and I'm never sure if that's just a defensive device, but I if you're serious, then I should make it clear that like Sarah, I don't feel this way at all and it is my impression that that goes for most other people too. I'm definitely keeping out of it in future if you're going to interpret it as some kind of sport.

― N., Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dastoor, you disappoint me.

Still I need to go off and do some actual bloody work now (cue massed cheers) so with my blessing feel free to delete all my drivel.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I for one can't believe Marcello keeps his job (and according to what he has said, a kind of managerial position) with behaviour like this.

― Sarah, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whatever you might think of me I have NEVER wished death on the family of another poster.

Neither did the person you were screaming at, dumbass.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I love the surname schtick.

― Sam, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I do not, on the other hand, love the surname Schtick.

― Sam, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

now what the hell is the point of 64 new answers here?! brevity people, brevity! (nb: i haven't read any of them yet.)

― jess, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

now, i have read them. and i hate you all.

― jess, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

well, jess. you would ask!

― katie, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is getting embarassing.

― DG, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay, everyone, can you all just ignore Marcello? He's doing it for attention, everyone who has fucking inexplicably brought him up to me has said the same thing, I have a hard time believing we're the only people who think this. PRETEND HE ISN'T THERE AND HE WILL STOP.

end of transmission, end of me paying any attention to Marcello, which I stopped doing after I told him off. Just do it! You'll be happy fun time!

― Ally, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally, don't you mean "*WE'LL* be happy fun time"?

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 28 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ms Kearney appears to think that she has told me off at some stage. I have no recollection of this, and indeed it is impossible for anyone unrelated to me by blood or not paying my wages to do so; she must therefore be seriously deluded.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

tell us something we don't know.

― chaki, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fuckin' students

― Bayonet Bulb, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can I thank everyone for this thread: It inspired me to watch the tragic POKEMONG fighting other POKEMONG violence-is-bad battle at the end of Pokemon 1.I have since been giggling over the Psyducks and the Pikachus slapping each other:

Pika![slap] Pika![slap] Pika![slap] Pika![slap]
CHU!CHU!CHU!CHU![slap]

[slap] Psy [Slap] Duck.

From now on I will read Marcello's posts in Mewtwo'sevil telepathic voice:

"How can this be?"
"So... You thought you could destroy me."
"FOOLS!"
ect

― Graham, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

>mew<

― Alan T, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As long as I get to be Jigglypuff.

― Nicole, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wanna be squirtle then!

― jel --, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jigglypuff is very noticeably absent in Pokemon The First Movie

― Alan T, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*sob!* Where is the love? Or indeed wuv?

― Nicole, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

banal baran!

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 27 July 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

today i am detoxing by way of sausage and beans on toast and listening to, er, Interpol...

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 27 July 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

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