is there anything more depressing than...

No, nothing I think. I mean, rape and cancer come close, but I think unopened expired condoms tops it all.

DEPRESSING not tragic and fucked up

if you haven't cleaned your apartment in so long that your condoms expired in the interim, i'm not sure "fastidious" applies, though maybe i'm just a fusspot.

kev, it gets less depressing as time marches on.

I assumed he was fastidious about his celibacy, you know, keeping the little man clean, in readiness.

blow me stevie d.

and when you're done with that go fuck yourself.

estela, i found them in a storage tub under my bed. originally i was kind of psyched, like "hey, i can use these!" then reality set it and it was, "maybe i'll use these" then i looked at the expiration date and was "awwwww, i never got to use these".

Aww I tease but lovingly! :-(

What brand/kind were they?

say magnums

you should give them a funeral: inflate them, sing "somewhere over the rainbow" at them then release them into the ether. they will see the blue sky and feel the wind on their smooth stretchy faces and be freed from the stark plastic walls of their storage tub crypt.

Glow in the dark, duh. This particular brand is apple flavored!

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/21BHJG84NAL._AA160_.jpg

they were trojans, did not (if they were like the scores of other, identical trojans in past) glow in the dark, nor were they flavored unless you consider spermicidal lube a flavor. and if you do remind me never to go out for ice cream with you.

sell them.

poke holes in them and hand them out to teenagers

no, he needs the money.

i do need the money. i went to reckless today and god bless them, they bought the corniest shit i brought with me. luckily they still have the same taste i had 15 years ago. they didn't buy the spits or the river city tan lines but gobbled up that hey drag city comp and the american analog set. going back tomorrow when i get around to unpacking the cds that have been sitting in boxes since i moved into this place a year and a half ago.

i know, i need the money too. ;_;

i can ysi you hey drag city. that's a good comp.

i have it on vinyl, it was one of jen's records that wound up staying in chicago. i got a box full of husker du and some comps, she's got a box of my stuff (oblivians, and some bomp comps).

weird, i thought the vinyl pressing of it was fucked up or something.

it may be, i doubt i've ever listened to it.

I'm gonna try and bump this thread and The Being Dumped Blues to make the alltime greatest thread connect ever.

I can tell you what's more depressing. Finding the expired condoms, and then all your friends laugh at you over them, then take pity on you and swap them for new condoms - and then going back a year later, and finding that THOSE have expired, too.

Now THAT is depressing.

i hate condoms

Condoms may suck, but they are way better than children or nasty diseases.

Ugh, last couple ive been careless, "oh you're on the pill/you have a coil? fine ok!"...not good really

How long does it take for condoms to expire? I have a package I bought in May while I was still having sex, and I haven't touched them ever since.

i think it says on the packet. maybe you could look when you go home?

Couple of years I think.

"what is this bodily fluid exchange of which you speak? here in finland we share the fluids in a big pot and feed it to our hungry neighbours in vyborg"

That long? That's good, I think I'm gonna have sex next month at the latest, so I can still use them. Condoms are pretty expensive, especially since you often have to use more than one during one, er, session.

More than one in a row that is, not at the same time.

I have a package I bought in May while I was still having sex

in australia you would have been tossed out of the store and charged with indecent behaviour.

B-b-but if you do it in a store you can always get some new ones if you happen to run out of them. That's safe sex!

is there some norwegian holiday next month or something?

Norwegian?

oh wait, you're finnish, i forgot.

Y'ALL LOOK ALIKE.

No, but next month I'm seeing this person who doesn't live here, and I think it'll almost inevitably lead to sex.

same diff.

visiting from norway?

Finns actually have a different genetic heritage than other Scandinavians, so we shouldn't look the same.

Or to be correct, Finns aren't Scandinavians at all.

I've been reading a very interesting book about the prehistory of Britain based on genetic research - it has a whole chapter about the origin of the Finns which is very interesting indeed. It euphemistically points out that the "original pool of female original settlers was so limited" that something like 50% of Finns are descended from the same person.

(This is obv. a very simplistic re-interpretation, but still, very interesting book.)

I can tell you what's more depressing. Finding the expired condoms, and then all your friends laugh at you over them, then take pity on you and swap them for new condoms - and then going back a year later, and finding that THOSE have expired, too.

oh fu-uck kate wins.

i just threw out a bunch i found in a neglected washbag. ah, memories...

actually, now i really think about it, i *really* should've used them more at the time :-(

Finns actually have a different genetic heritage than other Scandinavians, so we shouldn't look the same.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:28 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Or to be correct, Finns aren't Scandinavians at all.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11:29 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yes but you're ALL WHITE!

just kiddin' with ya dude.

Finns are actually descended from Merfolk ("Finn"="Fin").

I bet you if he spends enough time in water Tuomas can activate his long-dormant gill slits.

http://www.here.org/season/culturemart/pinchascmart07.jpg

(Tuomas, age 5 weeks)

Ah, ffs... there's nothing more depressing than a thread for whinging about not getting laid degenerating into one more "ha ha, wacky Tuomas" snipefest.

jesus everything on ILX comes down to "not getting laid" doesn't it?

Let go (xpost)

could be, latebloomer. unless someone has broken the "posting while getting laid" barrier, which i don't think has happened.

Yup. If we had real social lives, we wouldn't be here, would we?

"posting while others are getting laid" has been though...

Yes we would. I'm at work.

Um that's to two different posters obviously!

This thread proved early morning hi-larity. (Sorry, Kevin. do they do clinical trials in Chicago?)

Condoms may suck, but they are way better than children

this is wrong

and whats a coil??

a coil is an i.u.d. (intra uterine device? or something)

i thought they banned those.

ilx just ate my post.

i don't think they banned them, they just changed the material they were made from - copper to plastic? i'm not sure. i briefly contemplated getting one, then i read the brochure the doc gave me and it said 'some women may experience fainting during implanting of the device' and that kinda put me off.

exactly. they are different than the birth defect kind of the 70s. I"m thinking of getting one but I don't really want to have to have my period.

SS re. kids and condoms, it's all context and opinion really as to which is better or worse.

hey, i've been laid since i bought those skins and in fact have others of the non-expired variety but the box looked so sad. and i thought it was depressing that something that is a sign of a rollicking good time never got to fulfill it's destiny.

and tuomas, the ones with the spermicide expire much quicker than others as that shit apparently breaks down/loses potency.

ms misery: from what i've read they're the most effective contraception, and a better option than the pill (which is totally unpredictable when it comes to side effects). BUT my friend got an infection due to her i.u.d. and severely haemorrhaged. this is probably a rare occurence, but still something to be aware of.

xxpost: tell the breeder hater

Wait, no hang on I'm not a breeder hater at all! It's to do with context. Some thing not having kids is a good things, some think that having kids is great.

hey, not you.

"oh you're on the pill/you have a coil? fine ok!"

http://www.alwaysontherun.net/mortal.jpg

IT'LL END IN TEARS

xxxpost i don't think the original comment was meant to imply hatred of breeders or children - i think it just referred to 'unwanted children'; obviously if you're using protection, or contemplating using protection, or feeling bad about NOT using protection, it's because you don't want to have kids.

i thought it was depressing that something that is a sign of a rollicking good time never got to fulfill it's destiny.

Tell yourself you just forgot it was there.

I like American Analog Set.

PEOPLE WHO USE CONDOMS ARENT TRYING TO GET PREGNANT!?!?!?!?!>! i think katemasconicboom has made it pretty clear how she feels about people who have kids which i think is pretty funny. in any case i was just playinghg. everyone is so scratchy today.

somebody has to want to fuck you before you can get pregnant

Kenan, you are truly Assholio.

i think it just referred to 'unwanted children'; obviously if you're using protection, or contemplating using protection, or feeling bad about NOT using protection, it's because you don't want to have kids.

OTM.

(But you know, obviously, because it's me saying it, everyone is going to infer the worst, so you know, carry on.)

strawman.jpg

Potentially fun threads turning into crankfests is more depressing than finding a box of expired condoms.

Just to answer the original thread question, of course.

Ah right. Apologies SS, I got a bit confused there.

Must be tough being picked on all the time Kate. Could it be that you welcome it or at least seem to willingly set yourself up for it all the time?

theres nothing fun about unused condoms, um, unless you've become irresponsible and cavalier oopsie

T/S: unopened package of expired condoms serving as a cruel reminder of your circumstantial celibacy or waking up another morning next to last night's "err in judgment?"

the latter, unless it's "waking up another morning next to last night's err in judgment" and realizing there's not a used condom anywhere to be found.

yeah I meant to add "waking up another morning next to last night's err in judgment full of regret and possibly herpes"

Herpes almost always loses in a T/S.

Poor unlovable Herpes, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

I was trying to find a pic of the herpes puppet from the Dave Chappelle skit. Uh, yeah, don't GIS herpes. :/

Regarding IUDs - I'm sure I've written about this somewhere else. I have one and I LOVE it. The ones now are totally different from the ones in the 70's and there is no significant link between IUDs and infections when inserted properly by a physician who has a lot of experience doing IUD insertions.
Also, MM - there is a type of IUD called the Mirena on which most women stop getting their periods. You should check that one out!!!

ilx just ate my post.

i don't think they banned them, they just changed the material they were made from - copper to plastic? i'm not sure. i briefly contemplated getting one, then i read the brochure the doc gave me and it said 'some women may experience fainting during implanting of the device' and that kinda put me off.

They changed the material in the strings. They're still made out of copper and/or plastic.

The insertion hurt like a bitch but the whole thing was over in 5 mins, cost me less than $20 (device and procedure) and I'm now 99.9999% sure to be bebe free until I choose to have it removed! Pretty awesome if you ask me.

I kill thread. Sorry.

birth control is always a derailer.

My ex had one and I also loved it. :/

fun for the whole family!

(fyi - despite loving mine, I not weirdly obsessed with IUDs. Knowing about bc is part of my job)

ANSWER TO THREAD: WALKING INTO CYPRIOT MUSIC SHOP

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D11052001
http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D06022003
http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D09052006

somebody has to want to fuck you before you can get pregnant

the Virgin Mary will be pissed

DRAG CITY 4 U H PENCIL + BONUS MATERIAL

the Virgin Mary will be pissed

Well maybe that explains how she thinks she got pregnant without remembering who she f....I'll get me coat.

what bonus material?

Will M. OTM.

Wasn't Virgin Mary fucked by the Holy Ghost?

"Baby, I'm going to fill you with the holy spirit".

Has god even *had* any since then? Man his expired condom stash must be haunting him.

I think it was Dennis Leary who had a skit about how great it would be being the Angel Gabriel and getting to go up to woman and going: "Hey baby. Wanna be the mother of God?"

I would concur with what's been said about the mirena. It is a tiny bit uncomfortable when being fitted but it's well worth it. I've had it for 3 years with no trouble and would recommend it.