Miss Manners - C or D?

Gentle Posters:

wait wait who? who is miss manners? this isn't the subway woman is it?

Love her! Esp. the book about raising perfect children. But, I also treasure my copy of Emily Post's Blue Book (a 1930s edition, with the white gloves and calling cards and fish knives).

i want emily post, be a grat coffee table book

I have-a the Emily Post but Miss Manners is so much a better read.

I'm working through Miss Manners' Guide to excruciatingly Perfect Behavior and it is the best night-time/bathroom/during the TV commercials reading ever.

She is so eminently practical and poised. And also great sense of humor, re: life's ludicrousness.

Post is far less thoughtful and far more conventional. Manners knows the conventions of 'polite society' but she seeks to undergird them with reason and practical consideration. She's also far wittier by far.

used to be one of my duties to place her column (along with hints from heloise, dear abby, billy graham, aces of bridge, etc.) in the newspaper. hers was usually the most fun to read. i think of her every time i'm in the elevator. in the elevator, you see, whoever is nearest the door exits first, regardless of sex. it's just more practical.

of course i learned from heloise that mayonnaise does NOT need to be refrigerated after opening, though many (most?) people do. people argue but hey, if heloise said it, it's gotta be true. i still refrigerate my mayonnaise.

Yeah, I don't know how trustworthy that woman is. At one point she advised you could use yr old 5+" floppy discs to store CDs by cutting them open & inserting the CDs. Well, it scratches the CDs, Heloise. It scratches them.

Not only is Miss Manners a great writer, but she is a lot of fun in person too. And her children (both now grown naturally) are awesome cool people, or at least they were when we were in college together.

So jealous!

neat!

I think it was Miss Manners who taught me that a man should go through a revolving door BEFORE a woman, so that he can take charge of propelling the door into movement.

what if the revolving door is automatic, as was the case at the hotel last weekend? it was actually quite fast, too. i guess a gentelman could approach first and push the little "slow door" button to make it more easily accessible for the lady. take charge in that way.

a real man punches the glass out of revolving doors so the lady can move through more quickly

what would a Mitchum Man do?

Mr. Mitchum Man-ners is one shit advisor, I must say.

* If your only real fear is commitment, you’re a Mitchum Man.
* If you’ve never left a game early to beat traffic, you’re a Mitchum Man.
* If you’ve ever eaten tortilla chip crumbs off your shirt, you’re a Mitchum Man.
* If you never forget your protection, you’re a Mitchum Man. (shows a condom)
* If they look real enough to you, you’re a Mitchum Man. (shows breasts)
* If you didn’t have anything to do with planning your wedding, you’re a Mitchum Man.
* If you ever fantasized about a hotel maid, you’re a Mitchum Man.
* If Menage a Trois is the only french term you know, you’re a Mitchum Man.

Those who may bristle at being asked if they are married include the unattached, the attached-but-not-yet-at-that-stage and the attached-but-never-planning-to-be-at-that-stage.

That is a lot of people. And Miss Manners forgot to add those who are pregnant.

there was an interview with her in the new yorker recently. she's still wearing the ankle-length skirt suits and a big, high updo. i love her.

she is awesome. does anyone remember hte part in U&I when nicholson baker talks about being snubbed by her?

i wanna read her venice book!

Ha, yes -- that's part of the first 3/4 of U&I, which I've read like six times without ever coasting through to the last 1/4.

did you read that recent believer article about john updike that was called something like "U&Me" and that made no reference to nicholson baker's book?

!!

Here is Miss Manners's remarkably subtle smackdown of a woman who was insulted that, after her mother's death, a friend sent her a poem about the death of a dog:

While Miss Manners shares your aversion to this attempt at consolation and finds it laudable that you wish to protect others, she advises you not to confront your would-be comforter. She may maintain that her pet meant as much to her as your mother meant to you, which would anger you. She may say that she just grabbed the first card from the condolence shelf, which would insult you. She may declare that the poem was meant metaphorically, which would embarrass you.

Looking through a bunch of new ones, the great thing about current Miss Manners style seems to be that the people writing in always want to be given license to condemn someone's impolite behavior, and MM, naturally, offers the polite alternative:

Q: am I rude in stating, "I'm sorry Joe, but we don't wear hats in this house"?

A: The phrase you want is, "May I take your hat, Joe?"

Which is funny, because a lot of the responses start to seem like they would have rude things to say about the questions ("STFU"), only they're being ... polite.

Someone in the Voice years and years ago referred to her as a "social critic," which I thought was funny and quite right.

she's one of the best american writers alive.

Manners >>> Post.

Post is a bore. I can't beleive I fucking know this.

believe

I've never read her. Where is she syndicated?

U&I rules, though.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI2005032501837.html

I guess the answer to my question is everywhere. I just don't remember ever seeing her in the Tribune or Sun-Times.

Argh, needs password, check bugmenot

Is there a good name for online friends, or, perhaps I should say, a better name for online friends?

I am an avid birder and participate in several online forums across the nation. Through these groups, I have come to know several people quite well via off-list correspondence.

On rare occasions our travels may lead us to cross paths, but for the most part our friendships are entirely e-mail based. When mentioning these people in conversation with others, I usually refer to them as "my friend," but that feels a little strange given that I've never actually met them. Yet I don't like to distance them by referring to them as acquaintances or online friends. Any suggestions?

These are your pen pals. Be sure and let Miss Manners know if you want her to explain what a pen is.

She is always so correct! And she always makes me laugh! I would make a church of her if it wasn't impolite.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is putting on a birthday party for me. I will be turning 57.

His sister has taken up the art of hand-sculpting huge birthday cakes. She has been mastering the art of making huge, 3-foot penises. She recently presented one to her mother-in-law for her birthday.

Needless to say, it didn’t go over very well. She is very proud of herself and takes this cake-making business seriously. I have just found out that my husband has ordered a cake from her for my birthday.

I think she is grotesque, rude and out of line with these cakes. I am mortified that she might make the same penis cake for me.

How should I react? With disgust and asking her to leave? Or thanking her and putting a large garbage bag over it and offering it to her to take home?

I have told my husband I would be totally offended if I were presented with a cake like that as a surprise.

Please tell me what to say.

GENTLE READER: Say “Thank you,” whisk it into the kitchen, slice it in small pieces and serve it on a platter. Just please don’t describe the slicing to Miss Manners.

i think this sister sounds cool

Ha! I think she sounds terrifying.

hey - i had penis-cake last weekend!
this was followed by a penis-cakefight!

Okay, now 'blow' out the candles!

While Nancy is getting all the love, wanted to offer some appreciation for this underrated newspaper staple. 80% of her answers are some variation of "your problem is not a problem."