Best joke store novelty item

Plastic ice cube with plastic fly.

turd

Whoopie cushion, because, you know, farts.

Those buzzer rings never really work, always a disappointment.

Chinese Finger Traps
http://www.magicfactory.com.au/shop/images/chinesefingertrap.jpg

EXPLODING CIGAR

"hahahahahashaa yur fkkin stuck dood"..good for claustrophobics,ocd,and panic attackers.

Hey guys.

Farts.

Pretending Something Is Someones Fault When It Really Isn't
http://www.gorbould.com/blog/images/mac_box_4.jpg

Telling Someone you Will "Pull Out"
http://humanballooncd2005.tripod.com/Huge-pregnant-belly-1.jpg

HAHAHA, yeah, that prank fooled me once. :(

HAHAHAHHAHAHA
http://blog.knockedupnelly.com/blog/preggo_nelly8/knockedupnelly_01.jpg

Those buzzer rings never really work, always a disappointment.

-- Abbott, Thursday, August 2, 2007 6:29 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

NONE OF THESE THINGS WORK; THAT IS BECAUSE THE POINT OF "NOVELTY" ITEMS IS TO TEACH PRETEEN BOYS ABOUT THE FUTILITY AND DISAPPOINTMENT OF LIFE

i had big hopes for these..
http://static.flickr.com/74/168123129_e12152882b.jpg

TELL THAT TO THE HAPPY TWEENAGE DAYS I SPENT USING MY X-RAY GLASSES TO LOOK THROUGH SWIMSUITS AND SEE SEA MONKEY BOOBS

tipped over coffee cup with plastic coffee spilling out

and its just a stupid feather stuck under th plastic and it kinda makes it look like bones if yur a stupid idiot

i bit for every one of those,and saved my money up and had underwhelming results

water-squirting flower is classy

who ever invented this one should be shot
http://www.magictrickstore.net/mysticsmoke/mysticsmoke.jpg

what about those lighters that shock you when you try to use them? those were seriously intense. too bad they were like 50 bucks so the only way for a 10-year-old boy to get someone with one was to trick them into walking into the joke store and then using the one that was out on display under a sign that said "TRICK LIGHTER!!! SHOCK YOUR FRIENDS!!!" or something similar

(yes this worked on me)

xpost shot with this

http://www.knifeandgunshop.com/novfull/bang.jpg

If these were around in my day I would be a nicer man today
http://www.magictrickstore.net/talkingdogcollar/dogcollar.jpg

Make your dog FART & TALK -- Think I am kidding? Well I am NOT
Ok,Ok,Ok.... so you are probably wondering what on earth is this? This amazing gadget device simply attaches to a dog's collar. Works right off of a wireless remote. When visitors walk in, your dog can now greet them instead of you~! The sound voices comes right out of the dog shaped bone! AMAZING! Now you can make all of your pups and dogs talk!

Pretty cool huh? Remote has 6 buttons on it. Each button makes the dog say a different phrase. The voice of the person is absolutely hysterical! This does it all, even makes fart noises! Unit takes just 2 AAA batteries and Guess What?? We give you not 2 but 4 of them for free for each unit purchased! This is a SUPER great gift to give out to those dog lovers you know.

So what will your dog say?

1- (Breaking wind) Oh I'm so embarrassed canned food always give me gas!
1- Hey. Does this coat make me look fat?
1- I'm a lover, not a biter!
1- Of course my breath stinks. Look what I've been licking!
1- Baby you're so sweet. If I bit you i'd get a cavity!
1- Gotta poop,gotta poop right now! (fart noises) Oh there it goes!

i actually say this anyway and im not even a dog.."1- Of course my breath stinks. Look what I've been licking!"

also missing from this list: fart spray, sneezing powder

stink bomb

"dog-shaped bone" ???

There should really just be a Fart Store, serving all your fart-related gag needs.

http://www.strangenewproducts.com/uploaded_images/poo-poo-platter-737722.jpg

That is the most horrendous thing I've ever seen.

dumb tip
http://www.magictrickstore.net/thumbtip/thumbtip.jpg

oh man oh man, those tiny, throwable little tissue paper things that go SNAP! when you throw them on the sidewalk!?!?

those were seriously my favorite thing ever

http://www.dixienoveltydistributors.com/webdnd/spider.jpg

xpost
Convince store by my apt has those, I buy them all the times

duh..convenience store

for some reason they always sold those little paper snappers at parades and events and shit, even though everyone must have known that all the kids would just throw them at the local high school color guard

http://www.talkingtree.com/gallery/USA/Maryland/Dundalk/FourthOfJuly/2003/dcp06634.jpg

I read this as "best jerk store novelty item"

they're running out of YOU!

i am having a serious attack of sensory nostalgia re: the sound of the snap they make and the smell of the sawdust they were packed in

xpost

ring with the rusty metal spike sticking out of it. amaze oyour friends f hhbggggggggg

oh, for the glory days of Spencer's Gifts, before the dark times, before the Hot Topic

http://www.eyesuckink.com/Photos/spencers1.jpg

apparently there's an item called "OHMYGOD IT HAS A PENIS!!"

BITCH PILLS, ASSHOLE CURE, BONER ENHANCER and other joke sugar pills packaged as over-the-counter medications

I was pranked with these!

http://www.funshop.com/images/fs_g13008_l.jpg

They totally worked.

archie mcphee catalog totally pwns this thread

the mall in north little rock, mccain mall, is like a step back into 1986. spencer gifts. deck the walls. uh, some other stores. also, it's dark and brown and musty smelling, like malls are supposed ta.

spencer gifts isn't quite as sleazy as it was back in the day though. not nearly enough dirty stuff anymore.

When i was maybe 7 or 8 I was in a spencer gifts with my mom & BEGGING her to buy me the "pet rubber" they had on the counter. It was a condom enclosed in a paperboard house thing. I just liked pets of all kinds.

Awwww that's adorable. :)

http://www.johnsonsmith.com/

I visited my family recently, and all I did was hang out with my youngest brother, throwing shit out of the second story bedroom window at my dad. Stinkbombs, firecrackers, those sawdust poppers. He has a big sign in his room: he drew a picture of Martin Luther King & wrote under it: "List #2 Item 27: I HAVE A DREAM. GET LOTS OF ILLEGALE FIREWORKS." (sic)

sweet, that totally reminded me of the time i was about 8 years old at Spencers with moms and i grabbed what i thought was just a fake gun to point at her and pretend to shot. turns out it was indeed a plastic gun but instead of the barrel it was a giant dildo!

Itching powder! I think it's illegal now.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Don't forget the can of "salted nuts" that actually contains a boingy snake!

Powder that turns glass of liquid into glass of grainy gelatin.

cigarette loads are pretty fun. they look like tiny little chips of wood; you put em in the end of a cigarette and they make a pretty startling bang when lit. (tip: use a pen to mark which cigarettes have a load in them by putting a dot on the filter)

yeah dan the frickin mystic smoke was the WORST EVER. if they had marketed it as "genuine ectoplasm" on the other hand..

Hahaha the store I work in sells all this shit. It's really a good place, but I feel bad for all the people who've bought Mystic Smoke.

Least favorite item: the skulls with eyeballs that pop out, revealing bloody maggots/insects within.

at the age of 5 i was fooled into thinking that real human crap pulled out of a friends nether-regions and dropped was in fact plastic 'kitty crap' purchased from a local carnival/flea market. never fell for that one again.

I had to vote for my Rubber Jaffa Cake. So lifelike!!

1. Itching powder. If you were poor, you could also make homemade itching powder from the stuff that's inside rosehips.

2. Bubblegum mousetrap. It was like a pack of Juicy Fruit's, except that when you draw the "gum" out, a mousetrap-like mechanism would snap your finger.

3. Surprise lighter. It looked like a cigarette lighter, but when you tried to light it, a small plastic penis popped out. I got one from the Canary Islands.

Man, I had so many of these. The nuts can, the turds, the... Fuck, what did I have. I even had the buzzer ring. We tried it on my mom, installed it at the front door, telling her she had to test it. She pushed so hard, the needle practically got stuck in her finger.

I mean, what didn't I have. But anyway. I have a preference for the fart cushion. I used the turd once: I put it in the stroller of a friend. Two weeks later it was still there. She hadn't noticed it. Oops.

Oh yeah, and...

4. Fake blood capsules. You chewed them for a while, and it would look like blood was coming out of your mouth. I remember a friend of mine got a pack of these alongside the truly awful Friday the 13th computer game for Commodore 64. Some game reviewer suggested they could come handy when trying to get your money back from whoever sold you that game.

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