What do you think about this?

How old are you?

I'm almost twenty-three...

Haha, it's just bcz if the "In HIgh School" part of the book I asked.

I guess "play-fighting" could mean a lot of things, so I'm not sure.

I did punch an old man in the stomach once so he'd quit hitting on me at a bar, but I think this is different.

i can see the point. it just depends on how far u want to analyze. it could be totally innocent but i can see how that could be indicative of worrisome gender dynamics.

I don't think play-fighting is necessarily evil, put if in the case observed by the author it always ends with the girl "giving up in mock-fear", sure it can be seen as reinforcing traditional gender roles through play. I play-fight with my female friends too, but the fights don't end in such a ritualized way. Also, like Abbott pointed out, age is a an important thing: if you're in your twenties your identity is probably better formed than that of a high-schooler, so play-fighting isn't necessarily about building up gender anymore (though it can still be that too).

Also, I think play-fighting between two guys is usually a highly masculine ritual. It seems to work both as a playful display of masculine strength, and as the only way two straight guys can safely express physical closeness without the fear of appearing feminine/gay. This isn't to say play-fighting between guys is necessarily a negative thing, but it definitely has to do with gender.

manly tussle = rowr

She made the point that this way of flirting is basically fucked up and an example of guys proving their heterosexuality violently by having to dominate women.

We have touched on this briefly in the Big Brother thread, because there is a guy in the house who literally throws the smaller women around the place in a hil-ar-ious way, and it's nauseating to watch. I don't like anyone, male or female, who uses their superior physical strength against other people in "fun". It's not fun for the person you're doing it to, and just because they don't immediately become serious and say "please stop doing that" doesn't mean they're not stressed by it.

just because they don't immediately become serious and say "please stop doing that" doesn't mean they're not stressed by it

Well in BB they were saying "try to pick up all three of us at once and spin us around" so I don't think they were overly intimidated (this was weeks ago, when Charley was still there so maybe it's more creepy now, I stopped watching).

It could be argued that that kind of invitation is an attempt by the person being dominated to exert some kind of control over the situation; if he's going to throw them around anyway, better that they should at least remove the element of surprise.

I did punch an old man in the stomach once so he'd quit hitting on me at a bar, but I think this is different.

This is why Abbott is cool.