LISTMANIA: British digital TV shows that indicate you really can't think of anything better to do with your time, such as read, talk to loved ones, or go to bed

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1. Sexcetera

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

2. Nick Cannon's Wild N Out

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

3. Sex And the City repeats

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

4. Booze Britain: Binge Nation

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

5. TNA Impact

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

6. Anything involving ultimate fighting

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

7. Street Crime 4

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:18 (eighteen years ago)

8. Girls of the Playboy Mansion

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:19 (eighteen years ago)

9. Those Top 50 countdowns on TMF that are hosted by, like, Bucks Fizz or the white guy from Fame Academy, top 50 cheesiest pop anthems or whatever

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:19 (eighteen years ago)

10. "Hi, I'm Danny Dyer, and I'm well 'ard. Here are some other well 'ard people"

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

11. Repeats of The Upper Hand

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

12. Repeats of Dinnerladies

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

13. That BBC3 TV show where they try and get working class families to lose weight by "talking to each other", rather than eating less

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:21 (eighteen years ago)

14. Anything involving classical music

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:21 (eighteen years ago)

15. Episodes of QI with Sean Lock

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:21 (eighteen years ago)

16. Episodes of Cribs featuring American sportsman you've never heard of

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:22 (eighteen years ago)

17. Generation X-Cess

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:22 (eighteen years ago)

18. Sin Cities

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:22 (eighteen years ago)

19. The Real Hustle: stupid people fall for ridiculous con tricks then give other people permission to show their stupidity on tv for all (well, a couple of hundred, probably) to see

ailsa, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:33 (eighteen years ago)

You do get some great advice from The Real Hustle though, such as "If someone comes up to you and says they're a wallet inspector, don't give them your wallet without seeing ID first"

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

20. Dog Borstal

Tom D., Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

QVC/Bid-Up TV.

Pashmina, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

21. Newsnight

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:38 (eighteen years ago)

23. The Thomas Cook channel

Tom D., Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:39 (eighteen years ago)

24. The Piglet Files

acrobat, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:40 (eighteen years ago)

25. Porn: A Family Business

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

Takeshi's Castle: Be amused by Craig Charles' coke-addled gurgling as he watches a Japanese girl's body get twisted between two giant rollers before dropping into a shallow ditch of muddy water.

DavidM, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

27. The re-run of an exceedingly dull game on Celtic TV that you weren't even that captivated by the first time round.

ailsa, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:42 (eighteen years ago)

BBC News 24

blueski, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:44 (eighteen years ago)

29. America's Got Talent

ailsa, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:45 (eighteen years ago)

30. The Daily 10

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

25. Porn: A Family Business

God i hate that program. so fucking creepy. the sanitization can't stop the ever present threat of physical violence and abuse slipping through.

acrobat, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

31. Sky Sports news report on injured Middlesbrough fullback.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

32. Repeats of The Avengers, non Diana Rigg seasons

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

Actually, what am I talking about? All Sky Sports, all Saturday afternoon. Especially Jeff Stelling and friends.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:48 (eighteen years ago)

Babestation :(

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:49 (eighteen years ago)

34. Badly Dubbed Porn

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:50 (eighteen years ago)

35. Repeats of Location Location Location from days when you actually could buy a big house for less than £100k

Matt DC hurts me in my heart.

ailsa, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:50 (eighteen years ago)

36. Either of those two identical "adult Candid Camera" shows on Paramount, which appear to be filmed in Belarus or somewhere where the laws on public nudity are more relaxed.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:50 (eighteen years ago)

The Book Quiz: David Baddiel chuckles away to himself while the monumentally disinterested panellists count away the minutes until they can take their cheques and leave. Filmed in front of a bored studio audience.

DavidM, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:51 (eighteen years ago)

Sin Cities

DavidM, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:51 (eighteen years ago)

Actually, what am I talking about? All Sky Sports, all Saturday afternoon. Especially Jeff Stelling and friends.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2229158381

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:52 (eighteen years ago)

Sin Cities is a repeat.

38. Anything Robin Ince has been involved in ever

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:52 (eighteen years ago)

"edgy" "urban" drama on sky or ftn w/people who are too good looking reading ridiculously unrealistic dialogue at each other through gritted teeth.

(this based purely on watching cable tv at my mother-in-law's place in wakefield)

Pashmina, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

39. That Orange Playlist thingy

Tom D., Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:55 (eighteen years ago)

25. Porn: A Family Business

haven't seen -- is it meant to give off an 'incest' vibe?

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

(OK, i'm totally doing that Jeff Stelling thing sometime, also is it sad that I recognised AND LAUGHED at all scenarios? should also have something for when Chris Kamara is in a stadium that appears to have all the lights switched out though)

ailsa, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

"dancing on the streets of TNS" is my favourite non-ILX football meme of the 00s

blueski, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 11:01 (eighteen years ago)

40. Big Brother Live ("Oh look those pricks are sleeping when I should be!")

Dom's #5 and #6 OTM and I don't even like them :( I should get Virgin to block Bravo.

onimo, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 11:11 (eighteen years ago)

13. That BBC3 TV show where they try and get working class families to lose weight by "talking to each other", rather than eating less

Haha, I was coming on this thread to post "Honey, We're Killing The Kids" because last night it ended up on and sucked so much life out of me I couldn't even muster the energy to turn it off.

aldo, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 11:13 (eighteen years ago)

"14. Anything involving classical music"

that would be me watching those proms repeats.

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 14 August 2007 11:57 (eighteen years ago)

41. The Bad Girls Club

Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 07:48 (eighteen years ago)

42. The wonderfully titled "Porn Week"

Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 07:48 (eighteen years ago)

43. Sex - With Mum and Dad

DavidM, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 08:43 (eighteen years ago)

That show may be the nadir of television.

Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 08:48 (eighteen years ago)

i ask for a reprieve for #43 on the grounds of this

NI, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 08:57 (eighteen years ago)

Calum, Fran and Dangerous Danan

woofwoofwoof, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 08:58 (eighteen years ago)

(that was 44)

woofwoofwoof, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 08:59 (eighteen years ago)

and also #13 for the episode where the mum sent her 8yr old kid to bed at a reasonable (ie. not after midnight) time with "some bedtime reading" - camera pans across to show her happily reading one of those 10 page Netto catalogue/pamphlets you get free with local papers.

seems like the makers shows on these non-terrestial channels often squeeze in the most ridiculous & pointless scenes, because they know no one really gives a fuck, giving us tv gems like the above

NI, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 09:01 (eighteen years ago)

#45 conning the conmen.

see the real hustle but this time featuring a trio of coked-up cunts in their early 20s going all out to degrade themselves on tv, to chase a tv career. where real hustle is all paul daniels magic tricks and condescending advice for mental subnormals, conning the conmen is like a youtube clip of a monied student taking the piss out of a homeless person for 30 minutes on bbc3.

NI, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 09:17 (eighteen years ago)

Babestation :(

this, avago, and all related channels are the absolute pits. one of the reasons i'm grateful we only have freeview.

Just got offed, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 12:35 (eighteen years ago)

i like the real hustle! shows me how to rip off idiots.

CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 13:21 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

46. Rad Girls. I remember reading an interview with Johnny Knoxville where he explained that the reason there was no women in the Jackass crew is because women falling over and hurting themselves isn't funny. Rad Girls succesfully proves his hypothesis.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

47. MacIntyre's Underworld.

Him what used to do the undercover shows on the BBC hangs out with some Glaswegian gangsters, and they go for fish and chips together. Fucking surreal.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

46. Nuts TV. All of it.

It's considerably better than the magazine. But that's not to say it's actually good or owt.

Mark G, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:28 (eighteen years ago)

You people are all crazy.

Pashmina, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:32 (eighteen years ago)

Can Fat Teens Zing Hunt

Resign BBC Three

blueski, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:39 (eighteen years ago)

47. Police Camera Action with Alastair Stewart (roffle)

DG, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:48 (eighteen years ago)

48. Maury

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:48 (eighteen years ago)

yeah police cctv shows own this thread

Ste, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 11:53 (eighteen years ago)

49. World's Most Amazing Videos (Virgin 1)

Today: A diver is attacked by an angry octopus, two paratroopers become entangled mid-air and a baby is trapped at the bottom of a well

Tomorrow: Footage of an elephant sitting on a man's head, a horse falling through a railway bridge, and a man getting sucked into a jet engine

(actually looking at these it's unmissable)

onimo, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 12:01 (eighteen years ago)

The best ever "world's most amazing video" was the cheerleader getting socked in the mouth during a routine, if only because they played the tooth flying out of her mouth in about seven different styles of replay

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 12:02 (eighteen years ago)

50. Real Football Factories

onimo, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 12:11 (eighteen years ago)

1. Sexcetera

i only caught it once while evading sleep, but i am of the opinion that this programme could cure one of the desire to ever have sex again.

stevie, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

I like how every segment on Sexcetera has an opening part of the show trail, then an in-studio trail, then a pre-segment introduction, then a post-segment summary, and then an in-studio epilogue.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 15:04 (eighteen years ago)

Because women painting with their cunnies is something that needs a lot of background and analysis

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

The hands-on approach of the presenters is to be admired however, Michael Buerk take note

Tom D., Tuesday, 20 November 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)


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