Closest legal substance to cocaine?

Religion (haha sorry)

Illegal drugs are a surprisingly cheap alternative to their legal "counterparts", in terms of the money-to-buzz ratio. Even if you find a half-assed replacement, it's probably not gonna be price-performant.

you could always just go cold turkey and feel tons better about your self/finances/sleeping habits/well-being in the near future?

I mean, it probably won't be fun or pleasant, but perhaps it's your best bet?

go t'yr doctor & social engineer some provigil

The answer is like five shots of espresso, btw.

Balzac on the Dangers of drinking too much coffee.

Sounds like a cokehead to me!

Pure root kava's buzz isn't that comparable, but will for sure take your mind off it. Tastes kinda foul (best in the blender with some juice) but sorta gives you a social dazed mellow sort of feel. realkava.com is where I bought a bunch from a while back, really potent stuff - it lasts me forever, I only like to feel altered/buzzed once in a great while.

Another coffee overdose story

she works at a coffee shop (and presumably made her own coffee?) but didn't realise they were double measures?

i went to a festival the other day, the beer queue were too long but found a place that did irish coffee, so I drank about 5 cups of it. it made me really bad at coconut shy.

you could always just go cold turkey and feel tons better about your self/finances/sleeping habits/well-being in the near future?

Rofflicious.

Guarana is very stimulating. But do not mix it with other stimulants because it will make you freak/tweak out-->heart palpitations, etc.

LOL, is this the guy that was asking about salvia and absynthe?

ritalin. although i think it's closer to speed from a chemical standpoint.

yeah I was going to say ritalin. of course, it's probably pretty expensive without a prescription and insurance.

ritalin/adderal >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> coke from a $$/aftereffects standpoint but unless you have a script its not exactly "legal"

novocaine!

Luvvins and huggins and going to amusement park (NB I have never tried cocaine).

J0hn D, you are not wrong about the kava - tastes like blergh, but mellows a person right down to nothing from the inside out.

argh when I typed ritalin I meant adderall.

I don't think I've ever actually tried ritalin.

in what world is cocaine mellow?

A friend of mine had an really bad adderall addiction a few years back. He ended up in jail for unrelated reasons but his stories of adderall withdraw in a jail cell are pretty ugly.

Sparks

where closest = worse (and yet legal)

I thought someone answered "shasta" for a moment

SPARKS is totally my guilty pleasure. They're like $1.25 and 7% alcohol and taste like rotten tangerines, a combination that for some reason I CRAVE about once a month.

sparks plus is the stuff

http://majikthise.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/cocainecrab1_1.jpg

CRABS

I had a Sparks plus today. I like how it leaves an orange crust in your glass that needs sandblasting to remove.

Yellow Jacket Nutrition Facts:

Serving size: 1 Cap
Servings per bottle: 100
Proprietary Blend: 661mg

Ingredients:
Ephedra Extract, Sida Cordifolia, Citrus Aurantium (standardized to 4% Synephrine), Kola Nut Extract (contains caffeine), Ginseng, Ginger Root, Capsicum, Stearic Acid, Magnesium Stearate, Gelatin, Activated Carbon, Black Iron Oxide, Titanium Dioxide.

Suggested use:

One capsule after meals, do not exceed three capsules daily.

Warnings:

Not for use by individuals under the age of 18. Intended for use by healthy adults.

sadly, no longer legal.

I took some Claritin a few weeks ago and it made me strangely stimulated and euphoric. Subsequent doses did not have that effect. Perhaps I was just giddy with the initial relief from the allergy symptoms.

I had a similar claritin experience. I think it has some anti-drowsy drugs in it.

We are such cheap dates!

wait.. sparks PLUS?!?!??

WTF IS THAT I MUST KNOW

THE PLUS MEANS... more alcohol

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/5388/0141717qy4.jpg

This stuff kept me up for a day, minus the asshole 'tude. I heard they no longer sell it, but my local CITGO bought CRATES of it.

http://www.walgreens.com/images/drug/0163459020101.jpg
this shit is indistinguishable from shit cocaine, but if you drink your liver turns to plastic, and if you smoke pot (which causes brain damage) you vomit parasites.

<a href="http://M.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4fphnc";>Don't you dare do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!</a>

i mean

Don't you dare do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!

Apart from the fact that it is pre-packaged, Sparks is pretty much like the ubiquitous (maybe not now, since 'Jaegerbombs' have been so aggressively marketed) vodka and Red Bull, no?

i love the artie appearance in this thread

WHAT, lower class cocaine is similar to PROVIGIL???? That shit...if that's what cocaine is like then what's the big deal with cocaine? (NB: I have an RX so it's not like a funtime goodstuff)

"what's the big deal with cocaine? "

It's a total blast, that's what.

cocaine kept me awake one night, and that was it.

maybe it was the wrong setting cos it was just me and my mate watching spaced. rather than a crazy shouting party

coke, watching spaced, and drinking jasmine tea. it was a wild night, yes

valium would have helped that bash

valium more like rohypnol Amirite.