people who poop first thing at work in the morning

Maybe journey to work unloosens bowels?

first cup of coffee loosens bowels

Pooping on the clock equals money for your shit.

i don't understand how one leaves the home without having a cup of coffee

well it takes a while for the coffee to have an effect

Time spent sleeping >>>> time spent getting up early enough to have coffee.

Cutts, one leaves the home like a zombie and tries to stay at least half-asleep until actually reaching desk and turning on computer. The blue-white glow is the alarm clock for my brain function.

Pooping on the clock equals money for your shit.

Yes, may as well get paid for it

^^^ otm

uh i mean laurel's post, otm

Ha ha

i don't understand how one leaves the home without having a cup of coffee

-- cutty, Thursday, August 23, 2007 2:51 PM (1 minute ago)

because fuck owning a coffeemaker at home and taking the time to operate it and being even more late in the morning when you can just pop 10 cents in the machine at work, that's how

nickalicious OTM

I'd rather show up, get credit for being here at a decent time, then poop and drink coffee. Otherwise I just hang out at home for too long.

xpost

yeah, i don't have coffee sometimes until 10 or so... i like to wander in a haze for a while during the "my time" part of the morning, before I start doing any actual work.

people should be getting up earlier, drinking coffee earlier, and thereby pooping earlier

Free Peet's coffee @ work > *

i buy my coffee on the outside

also there is a certain joy of working the coffeemaker and drinking the morning coffee in your underwear

and i disagree that this is only about coffee

also if you get the work poop in early there's less chance of it being stank up by someone just before you.

i imagine.

Why do people pooping early bother you so much, cutty?

but pooping at work is always a last resort

i have been staying up too late to make coffee in the morning, so i just buy the $1 coffee from the diner by the el

people should be getting up earlier, drinking coffee earlier, and thereby pooping earlier

Capitalist pig

but pooping at work is always a last resort

what if you work from home?

I do actually adore making stovetop espresso in the AM and also it tastes like full fathoms better than any office coffee EVER, but fuck getting up early enough for that every day, plus I really don't think I would enjoy sitting down with cuppa when I had the worries of my day already pressing on my brain and urging me to GET UP and DO SOMETHING.

You must inform the Inland Revenue first (xp)

because the last thing i want to be confronted with when i get to work and need to simply have a pee and wash my hands, is someone else's poop noises and foul odors

Nick and Tom know what's up.

and yes, OTM, pooping at work should ALWAYS be a last resort and not part of your daily routine

keep your ipod on cutty

how much sleep do you guys get? when do you wake up? how much time do you give yourself before leaving for work?

no ipod for nose

No sports section at home.

i raise at 6:30, drink a cup of coffee in my underwear, then ride my bike for 40 minutes

then the poop

get to it Jobs

ha ha 'jobs'

no ipod for nose

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cumbria/content/images/2005/04/30/image5_470x353.jpg

you lazy fucks

I'm bothered by people who spent 15 minutes on the crapper. Why the fuck can't you people just shit and get off the pot? Is it really necessary to bring in the sports section and have a little vacation on the can?

a) Average 7 hrs.

b) 8 am.

c) 1 hour.

(xpost re deej)

cutty is a machine

cutty,have you noticed if it's the same offenders everyday?

i raise at 6:30

-- cutty, Thursday, August 23, 2007 10:00 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.synthstuff.com/mt/archives/ben_franklin.jpg

i'll start compiling a shoe log, noting the offending pooper's shoes

because the last thing i want to be confronted with when i get to work and need to simply have a pee and wash my hands, is someone else's poop noises and foul odors

-- cutty, Thursday, August 23, 2007 2:58 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I'm so sorry you can't go to A PUBLIC BATHROOM and not encounter other people's shit smells/sounds. wtf?

I'm bothered by people who spent 15 minutes on the crapper. Why the fuck can't you people just shit and get off the pot? Is it really necessary to bring in the sports section and have a little vacation on the can?

How old are you?

xxpost
or get familiar with their particulate smells

i'll start compiling a shoe log, noting the offending pooper's shoes

Pooper snooper

If you need a poop and lunch is coming up, does it count toward your 1hr break? Or do you come back to your desk for a minute then go to lunch?

I know where a good place to think is

Drop the kids off at the pool, lol

The few I remember are:
Laying cable
Strangling a king brown snake
Giving birth to a kiwi/pom/insert whoever (my dad's friend always said Pom)...apologies to sheepfuxors and Britishers :)

http://www.gastroscout.com/woc/crapterm.cfm

aussies letting me down here tbh

POOP IS FUNNY MAN LOLZ FUJL I SULD PUT THA BOTTA0 AWAY

http://fireflyblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/POM-Wonderful.jpg

???

also there is a certain joy of working the coffeemaker and drinking the morning coffee in your underwear

― cutty

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/55194/55194,1205748778,2/stock-photo-a-handsome-young-man-in-his-underwear-looking-at-his-morning-cup-of-coffee-10451947.jpg

stock-photo-a-handsome-young-man-in-his-underwear-looking-at-his-morning-cup-of-coffee.jpg

he's very contemplation

ok what about have u ever had that situation where like somebody goes in and u see them - going in to the stall

and they like start going at it right away - don't even wait for u to leave the bathroom

u know i just feel like that's kind of uncomfortable cuz what if next time i see u that's all i can think abouts

That guy is like "I wonder what would happen if I poured this down my pants?"

omg he is

he's on something

or the soup can just turned him on and hes going to rub one out right there in the kitchen

oh its coffee, whatever

"cutty, do you sit on the seat or are you one of those people who squats over it and then flushes with his foot?"

haha, i am a squatter/foot flusher

actually that's what i was thinking at first xp

great minds, etc :D

he went to a rave at the gym and now hes trying to come down

ugh so otm

poor cutty. someone shd help him, or at least give him a fruit rollup lol

wow this thread is omg zim zam wow

Currently taking my dinp

Dump

haha

Is this going to be a rolling "post in this thread after you take a shit" thread?

I wonder why people started using the term "taking a dump/shit"? Because you definitely don't take a shit, you leave a shit.

dinp has meme potential

I dinped at 5 this morning

one leaves the home like a zombie and tries to stay at least half-asleep until actually reaching desk

See, I can't turn the doorknob to leave the house until I've eaten a full meal, having been up 90 mins-2 hrs. (That usually leaves plenty of dump opportunity.) When I see someone in the work kitchenette pouring themselves a fucking BOWL OF CEREAL, I just think why dontcha LIVE here?

I rent a house with a toilet that's in a closed off space in a veranda that's like 30 years old (not an open veranda, but closed with single glass).
So in summer I burn my bum and in the winter it freezes over sometimes. If I need to go in the morning I'm going to wait until I'm at work.
(If it has to happen in the middle of the night it sure wakes me up and I'll probably check ILX on the phone for the rest of the night until I need to leave for work)

http://gawker.com/5839808/how-to-poop-at-work

If you enter the bathroom and realize someone is mid-turd, head to the sink, wash your hands, and leave. Let them finish in peace. You'd be thankful if someone did that for you.

otm

yeah, unless it's some huge multi-stall bathroom i get the fuck out of there

There are some savages that just don’t care though. My go to bathroom at work has 3 stalls and I’ve been in that one in the far corner when some guy comes and uses the middle stall. WTF MAN!!

It’s so fucking close we could be holding hands ffs !

Hold hands and chant 'oooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm!'

he could be hedging in case there is a need to spare a square xp

they long to dump
close to you

when some guy comes and uses the middle stall. WTF MAN!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig_scandal

I'm a reasonable man, so I'm expecting a perfectly good explanation for THE COFFEE CUP RING left behind on the back of the toilet seat.

http://i.imgur.com/MRuANu3.jpg

I have never been filled with more fear by an image link

"Boy, I sure need to defecate right now. Let me just put just mere inches behind my ass this mug of liquid I will later place my mouth upon. There we go."

was there a newspaper left in the stall, too?

Nope.

I mean, if you're going to bring your coffee inside the stall with you, you may as well give the company back your desk.

my coworker said that he asked his son, "Hey, what are you doing in the bathroom so long? I thought you were going to do your math homework." "I'm doing it right now!"

so apparently multitasking on the toilet starts at a young age

I used to work at a radio station with pretty much an all-male staff. Dudes talk gross when no one's around, and once it was me, a senior producer and this guy who lived with his mom and drove a 90-mile roundtrip commute every day just so he could stay in show business.

We're talking about digestive distractions and the commuter guy is cracking up something fierce as we tell our stories. Finally, he busts out with his own Seinfeld moment and goes, "Say, don't you hate it when you have to take a shit during dinner and you've got to balance your plate on your legs as you use the bathroom?"

You could've heard a pin drop. Stopped our already scatological conversation right in our tracks. Finally, the senior producer simply says, quietly, "No. I don't think we know what that's like."

I immediately told sunny when I got home, and to this day, if Beeps brings her bottle into the bathroom, we call it "pulling a Damon."

― http://tinyurl.com/koalalala (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, November 3, 2010 10:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wow, I need to start including gif links in my display name again.

Finally, the senior producer simply says, quietly, "No. I don't think we know what that's like."

tears

omg, there are SO many disgusting savages in the world

like I knew there were a lot but WTF AT THESE PPL