Self Help: C or D?

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I found a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" in a bin the other day. Between fairly hamhanded advice ("praise others unhesitatingly and often") and weird 65 year old references (it was written in the 30s), it's hard to take very seriously.

What do you think of the self help industry, has it helped you or anyone you know? More importantly, do I seem more likeable or influential to you bastards?

― Hunter, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Perhaps every book/system should be judged on it's own merits, but this one was a dud for me.

Sidebar: Religions as self help rather than revealed truth.

― Hunter, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

xome good, some abd - avoid celestine prophesy and men are from arse and women like penis.

― Queen G, Friday, 1 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can anyone recommend a good one for me? I've never read one and feel I ought to give them a chance.

― N., Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ps. my mind is a prison, if that helps.

― N., Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[I mean in order to pick the right one. Obviously in broader terms it doesn't help at all]

― N., Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There is a good one called "How To Escape The Prison Of Your Mind" - that might do it.

― Pete, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Great, thanks! Also, I love too much. Can anything help me with that?

― N., Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be a woman. There is no niche market for 'Men Who Love Too Much'. Alternatively, read John O'Farrell's The Best a Man Can Get (serialisation going out NOW!!! on R4) and discover how to love YOURSELF too much (and like an ASS) like his protagonist.

― Ellie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You could call more people creepy, that might help.

― Graham, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I read one once (stop laughing you bastards) explaining how to strike the right balance between being a put-upon doormat and an aggressive psychogirl (it was For Women Only), however I fear I did not pay sufficient attention to the book and have ended up as aggressive psychogirl PROVING self help books do not work.

― Emma, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

surely asking ILE for help is help enough for anyone! i mean, it's not as if we're a bunch of raging mentalists or anything... oh hang on a minute :)

― katie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N. we have a library of them at my house (as well as other things yeah yeah) as my flatmate is a self help book addict. I'm sure he won't miss a couple. I don't touch them myself, they make people talk funny and use therapy speak.

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

there is some of this shit in my house as well

― gareth, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

they are annoying and they detract from my nice books in the front room.

― gareth, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I make the flatmate keep them in his room, mind you we don't have bookshelves in our living room anyway.

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My friend Caroline has a copy of Mars and Venus In The Bedroom. It is laughably awful.

i.e: "Busy lives often leave no time for sex. Although you must respect and value your wife or girlfriend's need for romance and intimacy, you also know that quick sex - "a quickie" - can be fun too. Try saying: "Honey, could we schedule in some time for a quickie?"

Give me strength.

― Anna, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

D has the same book, and got very very defensive when me and the G were dissing it wholeheartedly. terrible terrible book. There's a follow up too.

he also has a copy of "seven habits of highly effective people " or whatever it's called.

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have they had any affect on him?

The book became a running joke, I think someone may have given her the sequel as a birthday present. (This is the only reason I can quote big chunks of it is because of the running joke thing.)

― Anna, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The effect they've had on him is that it makes him talk as if he's had 20 years of therapy on occasion and when I say something, sometimes he looks at me funny and nods as if he's recalling something from one of them. Jonnie can provide anecdotal evidence here too probably

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dear, over analysis. Very painful for you.

That said: Have you thought about scheduling in time to talk about his self-help addiction? Or maybe you feel left out and somewhat hurt by your friend's new empowerment? Jealousy should not be a bar to self-esteem Chris, think how full, how rich, your life could be!

― Anna, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I remember sitting on the beach in Spain with him whilst he was telling me about how he thought they were useful but I was hammered so I kept looking out for shooting stars instead.

― Jonnie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You can make wishes on shooting stars, so I think they're more positive.

― Anna, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

he has emasculated me with his new knowledge, causing me to fall out of love with the inner me, which I should be embracing more... or something.

Shooting stars though, hell yeah.

over-analysis is exactly the right phrase in this situation Anna.

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I save up all my wishes for Monday 9:30pm for that very reason.

Allen Carr's stop smoking book is reputedly very good.
Chapter 1: Don't Buy Any Fags.
Chapter 2: If you find a fag, don't put it in your mouth.
Chapter 3: If a fag ends up in your mouth, do not set it alight.
Etc.

― Pete, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And while he was talking I helped myself to some of his beer.

― Jonnie, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We've got a copy of "seven habits of highly effective people" in this library. I better read it.

I found an alternative spoof self-help book called "You are worthless" which contains "depressing nuggets of wisdom, sure to ruin your day".

― jel --, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"the way we see the problem IS the problem" Seven habits of highly effective people, pg.40.

― jel --, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

give us the depressing nuggets Jel, I bet they're better.

― chris, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think some of the other secretaries round here could do with learning just one habit of even mildly effective people, this would prevent my days from being filled with highly depressing nuggets GRRRRR.

― Emma, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N., you should try Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a Smartmouth Goddess.

Oh, the Mars and Venus series is horrid.

― rosemary, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Self help of the best kind: Demotivators

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 4 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.davidshrigley.com/images/drawings/who_i_am/1_Push_myself.jpg

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

hah, is that by that shrigley fella? funny guy.

― matlewis (matlewis), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

seven years pass...

This is an amazing New Yorker/New York story waiting to happen.

www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/brooklyn_couple_famous_together_UC3SalxxtBWFItoLg4NWWJ?utm_source=SFnewyorkpost&utm_medium=SFnewyorkpost

― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 17:39 (twelve years ago)

damn

― goole, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 18:31 (twelve years ago)

eight months pass...

Everything about this page is funny to me. Especially that this guy looks a lot like DJ Donna Summer.

https://www.facebook.com/ForrestPerformanceGroup

― Evan, Sunday, 16 February 2014 06:12 (eleven years ago)

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