So I live in a house that was converted into an apartment building. As any of you who have lived in this situation know, it is not the best environment for noise. The current location of my room (this may change soon) has me sharing a wall with my neighbors' living room. My neighbors have lived here quite a while, I think, because they make an amount of noise I equate with feeling entitled to such noise due to the length of their tenancy.
I am pretty laid back about most noise. They don't have parties, and really if she wants to stomp around in her eight inch goth boots while rolling bowling balls for the dogs to chase and throwing weights around like pillows, that's pretty much alright. 'Cause that's the kind of noise you can tune out.
The thing that is driving me insane is their COMPLETELY BIZARRE COUPLE-FIGHTS. I would like to document these.
These are the two most recent (and among the most classic) fights:
The time she took a shower with a least one of the dogs. Because she doesn't like showers, she likes baths. But he doesn't want her to take a bath, so she needs to SHOWER WITH THE DOG. Final line: HIM: "YOU'RE NO GOOD FOR ME."
The time they went to visit the insane people in the building next door. The primary loony in that building is a man, nicknamed by me/boyfriend/roommate "Lumpy Man," who is almost certainly an alcoholic, owns a rottweiler with a tumor on its shoulder the size of its head, and is primarily responsible for raising his friend's ("Squiggy") toddler daughter, who will probably not live to age 10. Apparently, Lumpy Man made a lewd comment regarding Showers-With-Dogs' ass. This resulted in a two-hour fight about how SWD's dresses, included a digression over cranberry juice ("WHY DID YOU DRINK ALL MY CRANBERRY JUICE???" "I DIDN'T DRINK ANY CRANBERRY JUICE!" "WHY DO YOU SAY YOU DON'T LIKE CRANBERRY JUICE AND THEN DRINK ALL MY FUCKING CRANBERRY JUICE???!!!" this is verbatim) and ended with a trip to the mall to by Showers-With-Dogs some new underwear, but only after she removed the g-string she was wearing (presumably in the car) and left it in the parking lot, which we found when we left to go grocery shopping later.
Right now there is a noise like a jet turbine coming from there apartment. It's the weekend, so I'm sure I'll have some more golden greats soon.
― jessie monster, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)
You took the cranberry juice, didn't you.
― nabisco, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:31 (eighteen years ago)
I actually wanted to go over with a bottle of my own.
― jessie monster, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)
audio plz
― Heave Ho, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)
I forgot to mention (and this actually just bothers me instead of being kind of funny when it's not 2 in the morning) they take HORRIBLE care of their dogs. They have two, NEVER walk them, and only take one out to use the bathroom once a day, and leave the poop in the parking lot (I tracked poop into my bf's car once). The dogs are really obviously very high-strung due to lack of exercise. They got out when I was in the vestibule with a friend once and they immediately starting jumping all over us, one jumped so high he reached the top of my friend's head! I want to dress up as animal control and take them.
― jessie monster, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:36 (eighteen years ago)
I have been trying to get a good picture of lumpy dog (the tumor one) for a while now, but I have to be stealthy. I have a bad picture of the toddler poking his tumor with a broom.
― jessie monster, Friday, 24 August 2007 23:39 (eighteen years ago)
Does this have the makings of a Ray and Eddie tape? Get out them microphones, sistah!
― libcrypt, Saturday, 25 August 2007 05:20 (eighteen years ago)
Er, Ray and Peter.
Why do people who say they don't like cranberry juice drink cranberry juice drinkers' fucking cranberry juice?
― King Boy Pato, Saturday, 25 August 2007 07:14 (eighteen years ago)
It's better than nothing?
― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Saturday, 25 August 2007 07:27 (eighteen years ago)
this middle eastern dude served me some tainted cranberry juice while my boss was trying to get some real estate dust from his stingy ass
― luriqua, Saturday, 25 August 2007 07:30 (eighteen years ago)
fuckin terrorists
Plz post pic of toddler and tumor.
― humansuit, Saturday, 25 August 2007 07:38 (eighteen years ago)
My neighbours in my old house used to fight like crazy, during which my housemate would play the music from Requiem for a dream very loudly. Or we'd just shout perfectly politely requests at each other such as "I'M MAKING A CUP OF TEA, WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?" "FUCKING TOO RIGHT I WOULD" whilst they were fighting, this seemed to stop them most of the time.
Which was always a mistake, as their make-up sex was far more of a nuisance, tbh.
― Matt, Saturday, 25 August 2007 09:50 (eighteen years ago)
Our downstairs neighbours were driven to argue about the weather:
"I CAN'T HELP IT THAT IT'S FUCKING RAINING CAN I?" "YOU KNOW FUCKING NOTHING!"
One hour later when we next walked ppast their door on the stairs they were still going:
"FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE RAIN."
― Anna, Saturday, 25 August 2007 10:23 (eighteen years ago)
We actually wondered whether they were having sex (the thumps of sex are indistinguishable from every other kind of thumping they make, apparently). We now know they are having sex, since they recently got into a fight after make-up sex. ("WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT AFTER WE HAVE SEX????")
― jessie monster, Saturday, 25 August 2007 14:25 (eighteen years ago)
Now to wonder what the THAT is.
― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 25 August 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)
this middle eastern dude served me some tainted cranberry juice while my boss was trying to get some real estate dust from his stingy ass-- luriqua
-- luriqua
this middle eastern dude served me some tainted cranberry juice, while my boss was trying to get some real estate dust, from his stingy ass
cranberry ass juice?
― Heave Ho, Saturday, 25 August 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)
-- Ned Raggett, Saturday, August 25, 2007 10:32 AM (Saturday, August 25, 2007 10:32 AM) Bookmark Link
clearly she gets out of bed and sneaks cranberry juice.
― tehresa, Saturday, 25 August 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)