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PICK A BEARD

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[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/Beardindex.jpg/385px-Beardindex.jpg[/img

Chinstraps, which I refer to as "perimeter beards" are not allowed under any circumstances.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Short Boxed Beard 8
Handlebar and Chin Puff 5
I WILL CREATE A NEW BEARD4
Hulihee 4
Friendly Mutton Chops 4
Anchor 3
Liza Minnelli 3
Franz Josef 3
Van Dyke 3
A la Souvarov 3
French Fork 1
Napoleon III Imperial 1
Mutton Chops 1
Balbo 1
Petit Goatee 0
Chin Curtain 0
Goatee 0
Hollywoodian 0


― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

later this will become a picture thread where we all show off our beards.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

I mess up picture:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/Beardindex.jpg/385px-Beardindex.jpg

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

NONE OF THE ABOVE

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

NO YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. EVERYONE GETS A BEARD.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

later is NOW!

Viking berserker/hebrew prophet

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

BARBARA WALTERS

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

who is barbara walters bearding? I was going to pick a more topical insinuation than Liza but I didn't want this to be a debate over the possible homosexuality of people.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://theworldofbeards.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/andrews-tache.thumbnail.jpg

― Brigadier Pudding, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

the short boxed beard is the only one there that wouldn't turn you into a sideshow attraction

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

the hollywoodian is acceptable as well, I think.

beards for everyone! pick a beard and I will draw it on you if you are unable to grow it yourself!

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

I was gonna say WHERE IS THE LEMMY?!?!?!? I WANT THE LEMMY!!!! but then realised that's Friendly Muttonchops. Hurrah! That's what I want.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

walters is an HISTORICAL BEARD

http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/misc/roy-cohn/dont-mess-with-cohn.jpg

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

Also:

Is there anything less attractive than a neckbeard?

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

I can answer that without clicking on the thread! Yes, it is a chinstrap.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

Obligatory NMH neck beard picture:

http://neutralmilkhotel.net/promo2.jpg

― Jeff, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

I actually love neck beards.

― Jeff, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

actually according to my chart that looks more like a chin curtain.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

scott ian took the petit goatee too far
http://www.onlyrocknroll.net/userimages/user2200_1158667342.jpg

― mizzell, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

It does indeed xp

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

My brother in law's neckbeard has grown from Amish to Osama Bin Laden* in the years I've known him.

*based upon the comments made by other Chuck E Cheese patrons who thought they were speaking in hushed tones

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

fu manchu/shang tsung

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

I want to create a beard called the Jessica Alba. I'm not sure what it's going to look like but holy shit will it be great to have it on my face.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

Jeff, was it really necessary to sully the perfection of IAOTS? :-( I can't listen to that record anymore now.

I sadly know a few people with that chin beard. Urgh.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, chin curtain.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

I want someone to create a beard that is just a ring of hair around their mouth.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

I saw the rock bottom worst neck beard last week. Face was entirely clean shaven. Throat, nothing. Neck completely clean all the way down to around adam's apple level at which point it suddenly sprouted a narrow, stiff, 1.5" long hula skirt of beard. I'm still not over the sight of this.

― Jon Lewis, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

The Chin Strap is same as the Puddin' Ring aka the Dick Target, correct?

― Jon Lewis, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

the hell if I know.

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

has any one ever done a star-shaped beard?

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

I'll have the hullihee please because it's completely ridiculous.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

What, you mean like William Bendix or Lucy Liu?

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

I want The Prince:

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/9900000/9909521.jpg

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

no

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

I chose the Franz Josef aka the Hetfield.

I thought a Van Dyke had no hair on the sides, ie moustache + goatee, ie the computer nerd standard?

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

You want the Prince but you get the George.

http://a3.vox.com/6a00bf76c9a9fb93b500c10e0f7993d3b4-320pi

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

the old George was way better:

http://www.lyricsdirectory.com/portal/georgemichael/gm1.jpg

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

Is it weird that I've had a beard all my adult life but I think most beards other than the short boxed beard look hilarious and stupid?

― Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

My uncle (sunglasses) rocks a modified chinstrap (possibly inspired by a brief George Michael phase?!):

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/101/311477415_d9d25c1133.jpg

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

xpost no, you're correct, not weird

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

the tiny thin beards require too much precision. I can't concentrate that hard in the morning.

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

Your uncle looks like a total bro.

― jaymc, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

trivia for the xls: there are two of my uncles AND their boyfriends in that photo

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

that is why you go to the barbershop, they are professional shavers. xxpost

― elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

I'm guessing Donald Fagen has a Balbo?

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/3/1/5/4/9514513-9514519-slarge.jpg

― jaymc, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

if there's such a thing as a molester goatee, that's it

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

everyone's gone to the movies, now it's just you, me, and my tragic facial hair

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

I like how he manages to incorporate the pencil mustache into a larger facial-hair system.

― jaymc, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:26 (nineteen years ago)

what about the 'accumulative lazyness'?

― the sir weeze, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:56 (nineteen years ago)

I'm 2/3 of the way to a Zach Falifianakis. Time to shave, I think.

http://gothamist.com/attachments/interview_ben/2007_02_zach_galifianakis.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

Whoah, check out this compound moustache/beard action:

http://www.adb.online.anu.edu.au/images/portraits/A030006.jpg

(found while googling Robert Palmer)

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

Nietzsche to thread!

― Jon Lewis, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

for my fellow beardos - how do you cut your hair short (like, #3 guard short) without cutting your beard the same length? blend it down your sideburns from the top of the ear?

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

Back when I had a bushy beard, the Russian woman who owned the Subway I used to go to for lunch told me that I looked like Karl Marx.

― jaymc, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

my beard goal:
http://forbiddentruth.8k.com/images/manson8.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

afraid to trim my beard because 'the Men's Wearhouse' is never a good look
http://www.bradgroux.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/georgezimmer.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

reason #2 to never trim one's beard - if you're too lazy to shave, just be too damn lazy to shave. Don't work it.

http://www.iesb.net/movies2/Kevin_Smith_and_Jason_Mewes_blade.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

Wait whoah when did whatshisface in the background get hot?

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:31 (nineteen years ago)

xpost I don't get much growth up on my cheeks at all (and therefore shave them clean), so discontinuity between beard length and hair length isn't so much of an issue; they're never right next to each other.

― Jon Lewis, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

He turned his ball cap forward?

― Jon Lewis, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://pbskids.org/arthur/backstreet/images/rollovers/backstreet.gif

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:36 (nineteen years ago)

blend it down your sideburns from the top of the ear?

yeah, pretty much.

Not too lazy to shave, it just hurts too much to scrape hair off entire face. Scraping neck and cheeks tolerable every four days or so. I am big wimp.

― Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

Wait whoah when did whatshisface in the background get hot?

-- Laurel, Tuesday, August 28, 2007 4:31 PM (Tuesday, August 28, 2007 4:31 PM) Bookmark Link

maybe when he got off heroin?

― jessie monster, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

Entirely possible. I was going to say, that face filled out nicely.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

milo not otm re: beard trimming. Rock otm re: avoiding razor burn. Either way you go, you have to groom yourself. Life is shit.

― kenan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

Holy shit latebloomer that pic is the best thing I've seen today.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

I am glad perimeter straps are disallowed. The generally signify Douchebag. Douchebag whose face would not be distinguished from his neck otherwise.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahahha that last part is EXACTLY what I said to Jessie at 1.27pm.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, first you have to pick a chin.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

i don't think i have ever seen a single person sport a french fork. men of world: plz to cleave beards in twain kthx

― impudent harlot, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

hey, be nice to Turtle

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f118/mindyschulte/JerryFeraraTurtleEntourage.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

dude's kinda screwed - perimeter is no good, full beard = Kevin Smith, clearly he couldn't roll with Vince with mutton chops

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

Don't like all nu-metal dudes have the fork?

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.8notes.com/images/artists/system_of_a_down.jpg

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.rebelmeetsrebel.com/photos/albums/userpics/14864/normal_CIMG1425.jpg

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.nndb.com/people/003/000109673/daron-malakian.jpg

― milo z, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

SO DISGUSTING

METAL DUECZ I H8 YR FACIAL HAIR

― Abbott, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

Short boxed.

When I'm on holiday from work I try to grow a short boxed, but I can't grow the moustache section properly, it's blondey. It's fucking disgraceful. ;_;

― W4LTER, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

That first one is amazing.

― W4LTER, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.rogerwendell.com/images/people/edward_abbey_and_his1973_ford_pickup_truck.jpg

― gabbneb, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 22:22 (nineteen years ago)

Every time I shave I contemplate leaving the half-beard for awhile.

― Jordan, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 22:26 (nineteen years ago)

Anchor. Very Mephistopheles.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― ILX System, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

My high school boyfriend gave himself a half-bears for a while and I felt hella embarrassed to be seen around him, and esp. to kiss him (it felt way weird).

― Abbott, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 23:18 (nineteen years ago)

He also gave himself a half-beard, which was even worse!

― Abbott, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 23:18 (nineteen years ago)

I'm in for some interesting sideburns action tonight. Will let you see who most closely approaches the Gorton's Fisherman.

― Masonic Boom, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 09:33 (nineteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― ILX System, Wednesday, 29 August 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

Square Beard (sh. Muhmmad Hasan al-Dido)

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/6448/shaykhaldidopu7.jpg

Large ovalish beard (singer Junaid Jamshed - on the right)

http://i1.tinypic.com/4v84oc9.jpg

Square beard with rounded edges (cricketer Muhammad Yusuf)
http://cricketworldcup.indya.com/images/wcteams07/Pakistan/mohammadyousuf.jpg

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 30 August 2007 00:36 (nineteen years ago)

Muhammad Yusuf=total bro.

― W4LTER, Thursday, 30 August 2007 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

very unique beard (Baqar Sadr, Muqtada's father)

http://www.racjonalista.pl/img/strony/liderszyicki2.jpg

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 30 August 2007 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

new styles for the flash game generation:

http://i13.tinypic.com/6bxqm86.jpg

― ledge, Thursday, 30 August 2007 09:57 (nineteen years ago)

I'm playing that right now! Spooky...

― kv_nol, Thursday, 30 August 2007 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

I face is currently the hairiest it has ever been. I'm not capable quite yet of getting the full beard effect -- growth is somewhat thin on the cheeks and the moustache does not connect to the beard at all. It is an experiment.

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 30 August 2007 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

I and I face.

― elmo argonaut, Thursday, 30 August 2007 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mujahideenryder.net/hiphopbeard/freeway.jpg

― Will M., Thursday, 30 August 2007 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

http://i13.tinypic.com/241w8er.jpg

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 30 August 2007 23:15 (nineteen years ago)

OMG the guy I dated for 2 years in high school looks almost just like that guy but w/o tats. He stopped cutting his hair and beard right after we started dating. Once his beard got past the 1" mark I asked him if he'd cut it and flip out about how I was trying to control him. I eventually started introducing him to people as "an extra from Lord of the Rings," which upset him, but not enough to shave the damn thing.

― Abbott, Thursday, 30 August 2007 23:21 (nineteen years ago)

I'd like to grow a beard like al-Dedew's, does this guy look handsome or what

http://www.islamonline.net/Arabic/news/2005-08/11/images/pic04.jpg http://www.chingit.net/images/dedew.jpghttp://www.isslah.net/modules/news/images/photos/Dadaw-frmd.JPG

― Heave Ho, Friday, 31 August 2007 02:40 (nineteen years ago)

I eventually started introducing him to people as "an extra from Lord of the Rings

Hahaha :D That reminds me of Black Books, Bernard getting Manny's attention with "you there.... Lord of the Rings!" and "listen, Gandalf" and stuff.

― Trayce, Friday, 31 August 2007 03:02 (nineteen years ago)


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