However, it is not remotely as bad as it sounds. The cancer is very slight, has in all probability not been present for more than about two months and is still localised - it has not spread anywhere else in the body. So we now need to go to a multidisciplinary medical team meeting at the Radcliffe Infirmary next Thursday to outline, discuss and agree a treatment plan for Laura. The good news is that we seem to have caught it early. It is treatable and it is curable. Radiotherapy will be involved so it's going to be a fairly arduous few months to come - but there is a very big light at the end of the tunnel, so we can only be hopeful.
July really is a shit month. All the crap seems to happen in July - my dad died 20 years ago last Sunday, Laura's mum died of colon cancer five years ago next Monday, my mum had a near fatal stroke in the very same month ('96). And now this.
I'm surrounded by lots of family members and would-be well-wishers but I still feel completely alone right now, although of course it's only a shadow of what must be going through poor Laura's mind.
Sorry to sound so down, everyone, but this is reality I'm afraid, and boy am I afraid. Much as I'd like to talk about the time we were in Jeffrey Archer's Lambeth Embankment pad, or the utter genius of the new Felix da Housecat album (exactly what Daft Punk and Air wish they sounded like), I keep thinking about what Paul Morley had to say in his book "Nothing" about his music writing as an escape route from having to think about what happened to his dad. Reality overwhelms us all in the end.
If anyone would just like to talk to me or with me I really would appreciate it.
Take care,
MC
― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― mark s, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― DG, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― anthony, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― tarden, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Sterling Clover, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― duane, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Billy Dods, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― sundar subramanian, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― suzy, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
As I am in a position of some authority in my day job (at the Royal Marsden Hospital) I am trying to fast-track the films of the first biopsy to be sent over to the histopathologists here for a second opinion. Would really like a complete re-referral here, but it's not fair to drag poor Laura out to Fulham just for that purpose. Suspect it will take as long (if not longer) - so no choice, except to wait for the results of the second biopsy, which may or may not be "definitive." They say it might be a "pseudo-cancer" - something which mimics the appearance and symptoms of cancer but is not of itself cancerous. Would I rejoice if that were the case!
It is an awful lot for both of us to cope with, but thanks to everyone for their good wishes, and especially to Josh - I will respond to your kind e-mail privately when I can find a moment to do so properly.
In the meantime I've dotted some bits and pieces round and about ILM for your aesthetic delectation. Am currently about two-thirds of the way through a piece on the Cannibal Ox album, but may send this straight to Tom/Ned for inclusion in FT if it's good enough.
Will keep you all posted, of course.
Love, MC xx
― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)