Drivers on the road that you hate very much and hope someone sticks in a banana in their exhaust pipe.

Folk who straddle all the lanes, especially on roundabouts. Scary stuff.

And folk who leave their indicator on for ages really annoy me to the point of ridiculousness. I don't know why. But can't you hear the click click click or see the light flashing? Fuck sake.

6. Trucks and heavy vehicles that seem compelled to deliver their goods at 8.15am right while I'm going to work. Can't you cretins block the lane at a snail's pace at any time but PEAK HOUR? Apparently not.

7. Woman driving RX8 who repeatedly tailgates me, then when the road is clear pulls out to overtake, then accelerates in such a leisurely manner that she has to pull in again (& resume tailgating) FFS you are driving a sportscar and I'm driving a diesel estate car.

8. dude this morning who when the 2 cars in front of him collide, pulls out beside them, stops and gets out of the fucking car for some reason, blocking the road completely, then starts firing out shitty looks to all the ppl beeping their horns at him.

9. all drivers of radgied up hatchbacks w/lowered suspesion, fart cannon exhaust etc, LOL @ yuo you fucking saddos.

10. Dickheads who cling to the middle lane on the motorway even when there is nothing on the inside of them for half a mile.

King Boy, in example one, would you happen to be in the fast lane and able to pull into the middle or slow lane safely? If so, then

11. King Boy.

i ride a cycle. ALL DRIVERS.

but especially those that

Overtake me and then turn left off the road in front of me forcing me to stop/slow radically.
Overtake me on roundabouts.
Give me about 3 inches room when overtaking at 50MPH.
Come really close behind me and then lean on the horn, HELLO I COULD DIE.
Throw rubbish out of the windows as they pass.

12. The wanker last week who decided to overtake me as I was turning right into my drive.

13. The numbnuts who decided to overtake four cars even though one is coming in the opposite direction.

This thread could run and run.

King Boy, in example one, would you happen to be in the fast lane and able to pull into the middle or slow lane safely? If so, then

11. King Boy.

-- Nubbelverbrennung, Monday, September 10, 2007 11:54 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

This is typical of the justification levels of drivers who think going way too fast is perfectly fine. Tailgating is idiotic, just slow down! If you're driving 100mph on a public road you're driving too fast, always.

3. Every cunt that drives a Land Rover.

I think that if I had, for instance, the Queens estate, I would like nothing better than driving a Land Rover along it's dusty tracks. And then I'd stop, have a cry, see a deer, understand everything...

14.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44042000/jpg/_44042280_newblandford_pa203l.jpg

15. People who whip into the left lane in front of me as I'm slowing down to stop at a red light, then wait until the light turns green, enter the intersection as though they're going to proceed through it, and then stop in the fucking middle and THEN turn on their left turn signal.

I want to get out and beat them down every time.

16. Oh, and people who want to go straight, but get into the dedicated right turn lane (signs posted as such for at least 500 feet) so as to get in front of all the people who actually mean to go straight through the light, then zoom through once the light turns green to cut in front of everyone else.

and THEN turn on their left turn signal.

This makes me absolutely homicidal.

Guys in the so-called "radgied-up" hatchbacks who feel the need to tail gait/ pace alongside me b/c I have a brand new VW GTI, the original Radgied-Up Hatchback.

I simply laugh and continue to drive in a reasonable and safe manner.

Drivers of radgied up hatchbacks who go mental when your stupid rental car turns on its headlights automatically in the tunnel, think you're shooing them on from their leisurely pace and then get with the gesticulations.

Basically all of my pet peeves have to do with people suddenly braking and slowing down. It's annoying when done mildly, and terrifying at the extreme:

People who always drive at EXACTLY the speed limit, and suddenly hit the breaks if they notice they've started going downhill and sped up, so everyone behind them has to drive below the speed limit to avoid hitting them when they brake. So fucking irritating!

People who slam on the brakes so they're going 10 mph UNDER the speed limit when they see a police car. Unnecessary!

People who brake when driving at night and passing another car because "the headlights are too blinding to see the road." Just look at the side of the road! This makes me SO nervous as a passenger.

It's the lack of signalling that really gets me. I may be annoyed at pokey li'l drivers and people who brake too much but, assuming their brake lights work, they are forced to signal to me that they're slowing down, and I'm also responsible for not rear-ending vehicles in front of me so I pay attention and leave as much space as possible between me and any car ahead of me.

The examples rumpie and luna point out get my goat (low mileage, easy maintenance, good value, sweet milk) 'cause they require other drivers to make assumptions about what the malefactor is doing. Stop being so p/a and just fuckin' tell us what you're doing. I might loathe you for it but at least I'll be less likely to accidentally ram my car up your ass. For reasons that have as much to do with grammar as a certain old-fashioned attachment to narrative coherence, I'm ill-inclined to try to read your mind.

Basically, I hate most other drivers on the road.

Oh I have never hit anyone, and I never tailgate so I'm not likely to, but it doesn't mean it's not annoying. Also, following a car that brakes suddenly is a little nerve-wracking when somebody's tailgating YOU. Any sudden changes are not good. (xpost)

I also hate the people who get right up on your ass on the freeway WHEN THERE ARE NO CARS IN THE OTHER LANES. I mean, wtf, dude, why are you TRYING to be a dick? (No, this is not me going slow in the fast lane, either, it happens in the middle and right lanes, too. There are 4 other lanes, douchebag, move the fuck over or go around me.)

suddenly hit the breaks if they notice they've started going downhill and sped up,

Or even worse, drivers who hit the brakes as they go uphill.

And oh yeah, this thread's been done fourteen-hundredty times already.

Oh, and the ones who switch lanes suddenly into mine at the last possible second when the freeway is splitting. I hate them so much.

someone sticks in a banana in their exhaust pipe

Dragons Fucking Cars

King Boy, in example one, would you happen to be in the fast lane and able to pull into the middle or slow lane safely? If so, then

I was actually in the slow lane! This guy was weaving through the lanes like a coked up Lindsay Lohan.

PS: that don't mean there's any justification for tailgating.

As bad as driving is up here, luna, LA driving always shocks me for that one fact alone. Flying down the 405 and everybody acts as if they're your personal proctologist.

DO australian roads even officially *have* "slow" and "fast" lanes?

I thought the rule here was *always* "keep left unless overtaking".

But I dont drive what would I know.

That sounds right, Trayce.

People who drive too fast and aggressively behind me deserve to die just as much as the pokey blue-hairs in front of me.
And Rumpie, I hate the people who leave their turn signal on, too. They're driving in their sleep. Their license should be taken away.
If all the people who shouldn't be allowed on the road really weren't allowed on the road, then the rest of us would finally attain driving Nirvana.

My experience of driving in NSW was that you could pass on both sides, but I only drove on motorway a couple of times. If it's illegal, it certainly goes on a lot more there than in the UK.

Yeah I dont think it is technically legal to overtake a right-lane driver on the left. But people do it anyway.

i wish to fuck you could pass on both sides in the UK; esp given the number of middle-lane-hogging bell-ends (as pointed out upthread). i genuinely believe it would be a lot safer -- and might actually encourage these arseholes to move back to the inside lane.

my overriding hatred remains people who stop in box junctions. in glasgow, for some reason, bus drivers are particularly appalling for this -- like they forget how long their vehicle is. the evening times ran a print-the-numberplate-and-shame campaign for a bit that was absolutely magic; wish they'd make it a regular thing.

i'm also not a fan of people who trundle along on, say, the B880 on arran -- just to pick an example not entirely at random -- at 38mph because they're too fucking inept to go any faster. there are only three or four points on that entire road at which it's potentially safe to overtake, you sorry-ass slow bastards. LEARN TO DRIVE PROPERLY.

there are many more where these came from.

my overriding hatred remains people who stop in box junctions

Yup. That's up there.

are there 'No Overtaking' signs in the Anglophone world?

i wish to fuck you could pass on both sides in the UK; esp given the number of middle-lane-hogging bell-ends (as pointed out upthread). i genuinely believe it would be a lot safer -- and might actually encourage these arseholes to move back to the inside lane.

It's illegal because it doubles the number of blind spots the driver needs to keep an eye on. Also, it actually increases the speed of traffic flow (as do any traffic measures that reduce lane changing, e.g. the bus lane on the M4). But yes, while they're not usually dangerous, people sat in the middle lane are exceedingly annoying.

It's illegal because it doubles the number of blind spots the driver needs to keep an eye on

eh? which driver? the one in the middle lane? sorry, dude: can you explain more, 'cos i'm not entirely getting this.

But yes, while they're not usually dangerous, people sat in the middle lane are exceedingly annoying

but they are dangerous: they encourage, say, illegal manoeuvres such as undertaking ;)

Yeah, for the driver in the middle lane. Driving in the middle lane with cars streaming past you on both sides -- and you undertaking the outside lane -- is unsettling and tiring because there is so much more to be aware of.

As bad as driving is up here, luna, LA driving always shocks me for that one fact alone. Flying down the 405 and everybody acts as if they're your personal proctologist.

I cannot get over - no matter how many years I drive here - the overdeveloped sense of entitlement that some of these people have. I'm sorry, fucko, but I'm not gonna drive like an asshole just because you want to get your latte two seconds faster than everyone else, you can just eat my entire ass. What's more I don't care how important your agent/barista/mother think you are, *I* think you're a douche.

They drive me totally insane. (As anyone who has spoken to me while I'm driving can attest to.)

The problem with both tailgaters and tailgatees is that both are driving like assholes. The gatee is "I'm going fast enough for anyone, why should I pull over into this huge empty space here?" and the tailgater is all shove shove pushy.

Still, plodding along in the overtaking lane going just marginally faster than the cars in the lane to the left drives me nuts. Shift it or pull in, slowpoke.

Stet, I couldn't disagree more. If we're above the speed limit, then no dice. I get genuine pleasure making speeding assholes wait when I am a) overtaking and b) going above 70. Fuck'em :)

It pisses me off most when it's done at 50mph, but I think it's bad at any speed. It's entirely the same thing as going up to someone in a pub, saying "I've had enough to drink, so you can't have any more" and then throwing away their drink. Exactly the same. This analogy is watertight.

er ... if you say so :/

The problem with both tailgaters and tailgatees is that both are driving like assholes

eh? the other week i was tailgated in the outside lane of the two-lane A737 by a cock in a renault SUV. i was overtaking seven or eight cars; there was nowhere i could have moved to. if i was driving at 70, the guy would have been a total and utter fucking cock. as it happens, i was doing about 90, making him an absolute fucking throbbing bell-end.

tailgating is irresponsible arsery in excelsis.

People who slam on the brakes so they're going 10 mph UNDER the speed limit when they see a police car. Unnecessary!

See also: people who refuse to overtake police cars even when the police car is doing 10mph under the limit itself.

i wish to fuck you could pass on both sides in the UK; esp given the number of middle-lane-hogging bell-ends (as pointed out upthread). i genuinely believe it would be a lot safer -- and might actually encourage these arseholes to move back to the inside lane.

It wouldn't necessarily be a good idea, but I wish you could do it too sometimes. I get v annoyed on 2-lane motorways, when all the car drivers move right at the faint sight of a lorry a mile in the distance - even when there is already a long queue of traffic doing 55mph in the outside lane because it's actually 2 lorries racing. It would be even more useful on 50mph motorways, because as caek says it increases traffic flow a lot, which is one of the reasons we have 50mph motorways to start with. A 50mph motorway with pass-either-side allowed would leave you with virtually no reason to change lanes other than at junctions.

good point, well made.

See also: people who refuse to overtake police cars even when the police car is doing 10mph under the limit itself

and indeed: people who hammer along until they see a speed camera, at which point they realise they've absolutely no idea what the speed limit is and slow down to about 34mph. there's a 40-stretch out towards pollok where this happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

In some places the sign-maintainers seem to be aware of this, and put a combined camera warning sign and speed limit sign just before the camera. It doesn't help, of course.

in fairness, a lot of the signage in the UK is crap, and there are some roads where you can forgive drivers for not being entirely sure (esp suburban arterial routes). but my pollok bugbear has 40MPH repeater signs all the way down ...

Mmm, there are roads where it's very unclear - and roads where you could have interminable legal arguments about whether the signage on the road matches the intended speed limits. There was a court case in Lincolnshire a couple of years ago - a speed camera set to 30mph, on a road that wasn't well-signed but was lit. A driver argued in court that the effective speed limit was 60mph because the lighting wasn't up to "built-up area" standard, and won.

really? coo ur. i've always wondered how flexible the definition of "built-up" could be.

It's purely based on the road lighting: there have to be lights at least every 200 yards or less, and there has to be at least three of them.

My experience of driving in NSW

I misread that as "My experience of driving is NSFW" and was quite disappointed with the rest of it.

Guh.

It would be even more useful on 50mph motorways, because as caek says it increases traffic flow a lot, which is one of the reasons we have 50mph motorways to start with. A 50mph motorway with pass-either-side allowed would leave you with virtually no reason to change lanes other than at junctions.

If by "it" you mean allowing overtaking on both sides, I wasn't clear. I meant the opposite; allowing it on both sides slows journeys. Yes, in a perfect world with rational drivers, two-sided overtaking would mean people stopped changing lanes. In practice, because drivers are impatient, it means they would change lanes more, simply because they have twice as many opportunities to do so. And it's that changing lanes that slows traffic down.

The first time I drove on a busy variable-speed motorway set to 50mph, I was amazed by how smoothly it flowed, and how much throughput of traffic there seemed to be, purely because noone was changing lanes.

Caek OMT.

Overtaking on both sides is a shockingly bad idea and won't help anyone, ever, but will cause multiple fatal pile-ups.

Also, what 50mph motorways? Oh (xpost), variable speed ones. Gotcha.

Overtaking on both sides is a shockingly bad idea and won't help anyone, ever, but will cause multiple fatal pile-ups

come now, i'm sure there are many countries where it works perfectly well ... what's the score in the US?

THAT SAID: if all drivers had even a minimal understanding of lane discipline, there'd be no need for it at all.

the fact there's no M-way requirement to the UK L-test is a source of never-ending woe to me.

There is (potentially) a dual-carriageway requirement though - certainly my local test centre had one run which included a 70mph section.

THERE OUGHT TO BE AN IQ REQUIREMENT AMIRITE?

Akshully I can't even drive, but I've still developed a healthy sense of road outrage thanks to sitting alongside Mrs Vague.

A couple of times in France last week were some of the purest terror I've ever experienced.

My instructor regularly got me to drive on the A2 when I was learning. It's a three lane, hard shouldered, 70mph motorway in all but name. He said no-one was ever taken there on a test but he wanted all his drivers to have an idea what to expect in the real world.

xpost re motorway learning

The first time I drove on a busy variable-speed motorway set to 50mph, I was amazed by how smoothly it flowed, and how much throughput of traffic there seemed to be, purely because noone was changing lanes.

This is what happened with the M4 bus lane.

Anyway, worst bit of driving I've ever seen was on the M1. A guy in the middle lane shunted into the back of the car in front. It wasn't a bad accident -- their relative speeds were about 5pmh -- so it was just cosmetic damage. Nevertheless, both cars stopped IN THE MIDDLE LANE OF THE M1 and both drivers got out IN THE MIDDLE LANE OF THE M1 to look at the damage and exchange insurance details. Meanwhile, the outside lane was flowing freely at 80mph+ about a foot from them.

Also, buses that stop across pedestrian crossings.

yay for onimo's instructor.

There is (potentially) a dual-carriageway requirement though - certainly my local test centre had one run which included a 70mph section

psychologically, though, people appear to react very differently to motorways: despite them being statistically safer than other roads etc they freak out and go "OH NOES BIG SCARY MOTORWAY. THREE LANES! I'LL JUST SIT IN THIS MIDDLE ONE AND DO 62MPH".

i overtook a middle-lane-hog on the way down to bradford a few months back; she looked like she was paralysed with fear.

It's a very different style of driving, true - but not much different from dual carriageways. A lot of drivers do seem scared of them and I'm never sure why.

(my instructor did the same thing - but I had about 50 lessons, so he was probably getting bored of places to take me. Passed first time, though)

Motorways tend to have slip road entrances, which are the really difficult bits, whereas dual-carriageways just kind of acquire a second lane.

The dual carriageway I got taken on has motorway-style junctions, although I don't think that part is included when it's used on driving tests.

eh?
They're not simultaneously arseholes!

tailgating is irresponsible arsery in excelsis.
And that's not always true. Police advanced drivers are trained to do it, for one thing, when they need to get ahead more discreetly than they can with lights and sirens etc.

Anyway: People do freak out on motorways -- a lot of rush hour jams are caused essentially because people can't bear to drive at any sort of speed when they see lots of other cars around them, and they just whittle the speed down to nil. I've seen a video of traffic coming to a complete standstill just because there were nasty other cars all around.

Police advanced drivers might actually have a reason to get past other drivers. If some other cunt does it then they're endangering my life with their recklessness and they can eat a bag of 'em.

You know, if you're sitting in the fast lane at a speed significantly slower than average around/behind you (which is the only time I'm allowing gating), you're endangering lives! (not that you would, but other cunts do).

a speed significantly slower than average around/behind you

dude. there is a speed limit. it's 70mph. i know you don't like that; neither do i. i know you don't necessarily drive at it; neither do i. just sayin', like.

Police advanced drivers might actually have a reason to get past other drivers. If some other cunt does it then they're endangering my life with their recklessness and they can eat a bag of 'em

qft. police advanced drivers are also trained to -- say -- zap through red lights. the key words here are "police", "advanced" and "trained". not "cock-faced" "BMW-driving arsehole" "in a rush".

Yeh, I've been thinking about it and I suspect "tailgating" is way closer than I'm picturing in my head. So I don't support it; it's twattish.

Grimly so OTM I could kiss him. Stet, of course I'm not going at a lower speed than traffic around me, I'm in the fast lane! All that matters is that I'm going faster than cars in the middle lane and at least approaching the speed limit.

Also, have you noticed that it's not the people doing 75 when you're doing 72 who tailgate you, it's the ones who zoom up at 95? They're the ones who can go fuck themselves.

xpost

Speed limits are shit though. Except in built-up areas. Even then, they're often way too high. You should be driving at a speed appropriate to road/car/conditions. If it's pissing it down, 50's probably too fast. If everyone else is doing 85, 70's too slow. xp

Lol what a strange thing to say. If everyone else is doing 85 and you want to do 70 then I'm sure you can sit in the slow lane and do 70 without it being a danger to anyone.

If everyone else is doing 85 and you want to do 70 then I'm sure you can sit in the slow lane and do 70 without it being a danger to anyone.
You'd think so, except for all the times there's someone righteously doing 70 in the fast lane because "that's the limit" when a mass of 85mph traffic appears from behind. And starts tailgating.

There was a sorta dull can't-believe-I'm-watching thing on TV the other night about building motorways, and it was talking about the first speed limit (thanks, Barbara Castle!). The TV news of the time had trotted out the GBP, which was largely incensed.

There was this great prim middle-class lady who "had been up to 115mph" which cracked me up, as she was absolutely now the type to point to 70mph as if it's some Proven By Science figure and not just, y'know, made up.

mark, your smooches are reciprocated. all the points i'd make, you're making for me. (let's not get on to bikes and red lights, though.)

the current speed limits might be shit; i agree, stet. fact remains, though: they're there, and "i don't agree with it" doesn't give you carte blanche to go any faster. similarly, "i want to go faster" doesn't give you the right to hare up behind someone driving at, er, the speed limit and try to intimidate them into -- basically -- breaking the law.

once again: i'm not saying i always drive at the limit (although when i was training for my IAM test i did, which was weird yet exceptionally instructive). i'm simply pointing out that, even though i agree with you that 70's a shit limit in this day and age, it is, er, the limit and some bell-end in, say, a flash new BMW doesn't actually have the right or the power to change that.

Yeh, like I was saying though, there's nothing about the whole gating/gatee dance that has to be done at exactly or even near the speed limit. I've seen it done with less all the time.

plus isn't the gater usually just wanting the gatee to get into the slow lane? It's not like they're saying GO AT 90 COWERING MORTAL. Altho they have BMWs so perhaps they are.

i am wondering at this point how many ILXors have actually been the annoyance/annoyee to each other wihtout realising...

Guys in the so-called "radgied-up" hatchbacks who feel the need to tail gait/ pace alongside me b/c I have a brand new VW GTI, the original Radgied-Up Hatchback

haha i notice this happens to me too (mine is not new tho)

king boy pato drives like a pussy

It's not like they're saying GO AT 90 COWERING MORTAL. Altho they have BMWs so perhaps they are

well, captain renault (see above) certainly was: the inside lane was chocka, and i was zooming along at 90 already.

I suspect that many of my routine driving habits would enrage some folks on this thread..

That said, I have done around 10-15K miles a year for the last 15 years and have never had an accident. Apart from a pest-control van skidding into me at a red light in the wet.

Why did he stick a Renault badge on his BMW?

That said, I have done around 10-15K miles a year for the last 15 years and have never had an accident. Apart from a pest-control van skidding into me at a red light in the wet.

were you driving a beetle at the time?

(not that beetles are a pest)

(oh apparently they are)

were you driving a beetle at the time?

Actually - YES!!!! Seriously, yes, I was!!! A proper one, not one of those pouffy new ones.

Against this kind of tailgating:

http://bulltown.com/v4/images/tailgate.jpg

For this:

http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/photographer/62/6209_large.jpg

haha! no way!

(this is not when i tell you that i was that driver at the time..)

xpost

hahhahah, that's fucking brilliant :)

I was rear-ended twice while driving my Beetle, 'twas a pouffy new one though.

The driver was incredibly nice about it - he said 'sorry mate, my fault, my office is over there (it was about 50 yards away), we'll go and sort it out'. As soon as I'd sorted out the damage (bent bumper, lights gone on one side, cracked heat-exchanger) and got a quote to fix it, they gave me the money in cash plus £80 over 'in case it turns out to be a bit more expensive'. Amazing. I've been looking for an excuse to give the company some work for over ten years, but never had any pests...

pests? can they do something about middle-lane hogs?

Still can't believe this happened, but...

It is one year to the day that I totaled my car last year, and the road Gods almost made it happen again today.

So I'm on I-95 South in South Carolina, going home. Traffic is sparse as it's morning. I'm in the left lane (two lane highway). Then I notice the guy in front of me slowing, so my initial gut reaction is maybe an accident or congestion.

But then I notice he's not just slowing. He's STOPPING. So now I'm slamming on my brakes, but I was following far enough away that I didn't hit him. The guys behind me careened off the road and onto the shoulder to avoid a collision.

And what happened was....the guy driving the car in FRONT of the one in front of me apparently realized he needed to be on I-95 North, not South. And instead of just getting off at the next exit, he saw a path through the wooded area on the left that said Authorized Users Only, which allows people like cops to easily go from one side to the other. So despite not being authorized, and despite there being an ample, grassy shoulder to pull onto and decelerate, the fucking moron actually came to a complete stop in the left lane, and then turned off onto the shoulder.

some people deserve to be relieved of their heads.

miraculously no accident occurred. coulda been a 5 car pileup.