when someone you really care about starts acting distant

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what do you do?

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is the distant person going through really tough times?

― Brian MacDonald, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

for the purposes of argument, let's say no.

― Tracer hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

that is, yes, but no tougher than two days ago.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

make it clear you are there for them if they need you. other than that theres not a hell of a lot you can do.

― di, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is there a story behind this that can be told using alternate names? Or was this just a random act of being distant in the midst of no particularly noteworthy incidents? 'Cuz it's hard to give advice otherwise.

― Brian MacDonald, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

not sure i want advice, i want to know what YOU do. i.e. pick over every imagined failing of yours; pace around the room; call all your friends to make defiantly other plans; kick yourself for all the above; etc etc etc

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well, in that case, all of the above ten times over. You're welcome.

― Brian MacDonald, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so i suppose my answers are: a) post to ILx b) mix records together c) call friends and make defiantly other plans.

these sharp pangs of doubt and "i shoulda" are scary and make me feel weak and lame. i think they are often thought of as "love" or symptoms of it but i fear the reality is baser.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"these sharp pangs of doubt and "i shoulda" are scary and make me feel weak and lame. i think they are often thought of as "love" or symptoms of it but i fear the reality is baser"

best band name of all time.

i tried making a mix tape recently in a situation like you describe - it took 2 months and destroyed several weekends. and i wasn't very good.

― Paul Barclay, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

most emo thread ever?

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Only if you start wearing glasses, button up your shirt and plaintively whine.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i call until i become a nuisance but it isn't working well

― Maria, Saturday, 2 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Would this mean you want to go out boozing?

― Benjamin, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Me: I'd confront them, try to close the gap. But really there's only so much you can do. It's kind of like moving a bed. You can't carry the other person's side no matter how high you lift your own.

― bnw, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They obviously either want you to notice their distress and shower them with affection or they want you to leave them alone. Hope that helps!

― maryann, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yeah, perfect.

we are meeting today. we made plans through gritted teeth. what in the world is going on?

― Tracer hand, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My ex (read "my favorite person ever") ended our relationship by taking this route. It just sucks. I know everyone has a different way of dealing with stuff, but this has got to be the worst method. If you have a problem with someone, for chrissakes, just say it. Becoming distant and thinking you can just transition out of a relationship that way is chickenshit.

― Sean, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

but then i think, all para, well, this person's distant cause they KNOW i can't stand the heat. but that's too rational for what, every time, must be resolved through a kind of teen-age logic. some of the truest and most frustrating logic there is.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

what i would personally do is completely freak out. spazzzzzzzz! get into a completely paranoid state and think that the person hates me, and wind myself up into thinking that everyone hates me and that i'm an unlikeable person. i don't recommend doing that.

― di, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Becoming distant and thinking you can just transition out of a relationship that way is chickenshit.

I should probably find a new method..

(BTW this is a JOKE Clare if you're reading)

― electric sound of jim, Sunday, 3 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one year passes...

http://www.nothinglikethesun.com/Wallpapers/Spuffy/images/What-She-Deserves-800x600.jpg

― Dada, Sunday, 7 December 2003 04:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

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