How does one ask out an Italian woman?

does she speak English?

Yes

No different from asking out any other woman I'd've thought

you must develop a passionate support for an italian football team

Dress up like her father.

Or Mussolini

You walk beside her while reading some Shakespeare. Sway your arms around. Then you erupt in a cantata and end with:"Wanna fuck?"

Just to clarify: I did not try this, it's just that Italian girls are fixated on their fathers. I figured it might work.

Also offer her a concerto alla vespa...

respect her family

Were you trying to get teh funnie Thread Connection with the "Tapmon" thread? Hmm?

I see - no problem to respect her family. I think she is very sophisticated though which may cause me a problem! I will support Sampdoria then. I cannot just talk to her, that is not my way - I must rather do things that impress from a distance to encourage her to seek to talk to me

you must not merely support sampdoria, you must invest your soul in them. obtain a retro david platt shirt for that special anglo-italian touch.

go bald

I must rather do things that impress from a distance to encourage her to seek to talk to me

This I'd like to see

drench your clothes in olive (*very important*) oil and threaten to set yourself on fire if your demands aren't met

find out all you can about Italian food which isn't pasta or pizza.

I must rather do things that impress from a distance to encourage her to seek to talk to me

hire one of those planes with a message drawn behind it w/ the message being something romantic in Italian and fly back and forth over her house.

http://i7.tinypic.com/536jvnl.jpg

Make sure you still live with your mother aged 36.

http://www.humanevents.com/images/2007-01-12_Murdock_Mussolini.jpg

erect a shrine to pavarotti on your roof. the shrine will have a loudspeaker arrangement playing 'nessun dorma' 24/7 at high volume.

Gaze at her intensely and say, 'Why has no-one painted your portrait? It is an outrage.'

Moleys is very good one, ha ha! I would love to do it, but am too shy

I have a book 'The Dark Heart of Italy', and will leave it on my desk at work

Don't overdo it

Good idea, remind her that her home nation is a cesspool of organised crime and political corruption. That shit's hot.

xp

I dunno, if I was living in a foreign country, I wouldn't like someone to try to impress me through my nationality. I don't think all Italians care about stereotypically Italian things, just like I don't care for many stereotypically Finnish things. Something more personal which has to do with me and not my nationality would be much nicer.

*throws away Moomin cake*

You are right, I am going about this the wrong way. Bah, she is too sophisticated anyway...I will retreat and make new plans

No such thing as "too sophisticated"

omg get her dad's permission first lol!!1!!!!1!!!!!

Offer to take her shopping for hats.

when going bald, collect fallen hairs and glue them on chest

Take her to the opera.

Steal a bicycle to feed your family.

Never ever mention her mother's mustache.

Invite her to a BBQ in your garden, with two or three lively friends and several bottles of wine.

when going bald, collect fallen hairs and glue them on chest

And ask her to glue them on your back too

aid her in the search of a friend who has mysterious disappeared while on a yachting holiday.

become a servant on her yacht, get marooned on a desert island with her when yacht sinks

or are those two the same film?

under the guise of the family's more moderate son, assassinate a major gang boss and then hideout near her village till it blows over.

Put an entire tub of Brylcream in your hair, then follow her around for hours on a pathetic little scooter with twenty of your mates making crude gestures and shouting stupid catcalls.

Fall down the stairs (it worked for a friend of mine, he dated a stunning Italian woman - Greta Scacchi at 24, say - for a couple of months until it became clear she was fucking mental)

S-'s idea is pretty foolproof too.

Grope her on the bus. Also works for Japanese women, but switch bus for bullet train.

Funny enough I go near her this afternoon, she said 'sorry' and smiled and just moved away as if we were going to crash into each other, I am perplexed

lurker?

methinks this might be one for the IRE boys

He said she was "sophisticated", so, no

IRE iz plenty sofistimikated

Sorry, what is IRE? A forum here?

rodman is italian. he'd be a good person to ask. Welcome to Love AFL!

Oh, you are making fun of me

ha!

No Carlos, all these people are working towards your best interests. Honest.

bit of both

Oh I see

We have your best interests at heart but still want a chuckle or two to lighten up our day

Yes, I do not blame you, I would do the same

I have a book 'The Dark Heart of Italy', and will leave it on my desk at work

-- Carlos, Tuesday, September 18, 2007 10:49 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I wouldn't do this - some Italians don't appreciate being lectured to by English people. For some reason.

Is Carlos English?

More importantly, is he a jackal?

All but one of the Italian men who approached me when I lived there began with the words 'ciao bella'. The exception just said 'ciao' and was so cute I couldn't bear to say anything back (I was young and naive).

My (female and English) flatmate when I first lived in Italy was also very frequently approached with the "Ciao bella" routine, the notable exception being when a bloke went up to her and said (in English) "I pump iron". I think a combination of these two expressions should do the trick.

carlos is a bot?

"I pump Bella" will almost certainly work, especially if she is called Bella.

Oh wow, I have forgotten that my friend was told "compliments to your mother", for producing such a fine specimen of womanhood, I guess.

the notable exception being when a bloke went up to her and said (in English) "I pump iron"

awesome

Why do young Spaniards come to London but not Italians?

there are shitloads of young italians in london

dad obsession is otm in my experience

Be passionate, but dependable.

And drink wine.

*throws away Moomin cake*

Post of the week

Bellissima signora/ina, no me perdonerò mai se no prendo la libertà da dirla come lei e incantevole. Se mai lei acconsentiva di cenare con mi, sarei possibilmente l'uomo il più contento del mondo.

mondo pumpo

Voi fari mi un pompino never worked too well for me, oddly.

Especially since it should read farmi.

I stand corrrected.