weird side effects of crushes

sex

Poppage

Are you the same Mr X who reviews restaurants in the Ormskirk Advertiser?

I don't know, do any of the reviews read "the staff were helpful and friendly BUT I DIDN'T FANCY ANY OF THEM OKAY?"

That's almost exactly how they read!

Usually they are a combination of comments on the menu and a list of ways he was jokingly mean to the waiters.

mr x that is horribly transparent, unless you are actually mean, in which case she will go home and cry!

Yeah Mr. X is kind of doomed here.

i have started teasing/ribbing/making almost mean comments to a girl i work with in order to make sure its not evident that i have a crush on her (we get on really well and have tons in common but she has a bf).

I do the same thing. Also with beautiful women. Especially if they are smart, and particularly if they are also young. It's not like I'm proud of it, but you have to accept yourself the way you are.

sleeplessness, eating disorders, the dissolution of your actual relationship, substance abuse, homelessness. maybe these aren't really 'weird' though

i have started teasing/ribbing/making almost mean comments to a girl i work with in order to make sure its not evident that i have a crush on her (we get on really well and have tons in common but she has a bf).

haha, this makes your crush totally obvious

akm otm

as are the people remarking how mr x's behavior is just making his crushing more obv.

in junior high they call it flirting

crushes, like shorts, are for kids

mr x + girl at work = benedick + beatrice

see one episode of "The Office"

see any book, play, poem, film, television programme, or example of people interacting ever.

yeah, ok, or that

increased wankage

mr x + girl at work = calvin + suzy (except in this case suzy already has a boyfriend)

I think Jane Austen might have written a line or two about this.

in every crush ever

ha, good idea, Hoos. Hopefully someone'll step up and do that one.

depression

oh dear. i really do hope it isnt that transparent. maybe shes dumb and doesnt realise. either way, maybe cos of my little comments here and there (all done with a smile and a certain modicum of charm, you understand), shes been doing the same, saying little things here and there back to me. this cant make me look good really, can it? i need to come up with a new strategy of dealing with these things. although saying that, i havent had a 'crush' on anyone for absolutely ages. its sort of nice in a way to still have those feelings. even if they are unrequited. clearly i just need something/one to daydream about.

Juliet, Peter and Mark

Juliet (Keira Knightley) and Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) have a lovely wedding. Mark (Andrew Lincoln), best man and Peter's best friend, makes a personal tape of the ceremony and reception. When the official wedding video turns out to be dreadful, Juliet contacts Mark in the hopes of getting a copy of his footage, despite the fact that he has always been cold to her. The video turns out to consist entirely of close-ups of her, at which point she realizes that Mark is in love with her. Mark confesses that his coldness toward her is "a self-preservation thing". Later, Mark shows up at Juliet's door pretending to be a carol singer via a portable CD player, and uses a series of signs to convey his true feelings towards Juliet because "at Christmas you tell the truth" and "to me you are perfect". Following the confession, Juliet runs after Mark to give him a kiss and a sympathetic look, before returning to Peter. Mark tells himself, "Enough, enough now", acknowledging that it's time to move on.

another side effect is delusion - i am entertaining the idea that her little 'ripostes' to me are cos she is crushing on me as well.

Wine.

ok well she at the very least thinks you are flirting with her. although you can do that without having a crush on someone.

Oh dear, but if someone flirts with me in a way that I like, I can develop a crush on him in about seven minutes flat. Not very good at separating those kinds of things.

increased wankage

-- wanko ergo sum, Sunday, September 23, 2007 5:00 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

too true

sudden and unexpected outbursts of atypical shyness

delusion out the wazoo!

i think you should try to steal her away from her current boyfriend

atypical shyness otm! also stutters. man i am 12 years old :(

you can totally do it. and even if it doesn't work you'll feel a whole lot better about everything. just dandy.

^^^ is this good advice

restraining orders

My propensity to go right off girls when they become/I find out they're attached is a possible factor in my relative lack of success thus far. I give in too easily. Print lyrics to 'Fight Test' here etc.

louis jagger courtship information network

aka ilx

hey, I was basically saying you had a point!

increased attention to personal hygiene on days when crush is likely to be seen

crippling anxiety attacks

"should i try calling her again because maybe she didnt get my message" syndrome

^^^all pretty otm

and even if it doesn't work you'll feel a whole lot better about everything.

the feel better part is bs, imo. But it does allow to start focusing on your next crush.

-- Just got offed, Sunday, 23 September 2007 20:57 (2 minutes ago) Link

increased attention to personal hygiene on days when crush is likely to be seen

-- max, Sunday, 23 September 2007 20:57 (2 minutes ago) Link

hahahah too true

i definitely think there's a difference between having passions and having a passionate personality. having a passion refers to a particular object, and could be the only one of your life, whereas a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete. like some people are always in love, while others aren't but still have the capacity. (massive xpost!)

paletable

You can't give him Mexican popsicles?

i definitely think there's a difference between having passions and having a passionate personality. having a passion refers to a particular object, and could be the only one of your life, whereas a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete. like some people are always in love, while others aren't but still have the capacity. (massive xpost!)

bingo!

a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete

can i claim that i kinda figured that out for myself further upthread but articulated it with significantly less clarity.

why is it that my sexuality is always questioned on threads with the word 'crushes' in the title

: - O

http://www.owensworld.com/funnyimages/files/reminder_big.jpg

"I do the same thing. Also with beautiful women. Especially if they are smart, and particularly if they are also young. It's not like I'm proud of it, but you have to accept yourself the way you are."

i do this as well. :(

one good thing about crushes when you dont see the person every day is that the crush is largely inactive.

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

another odd side effect is that as well as the compulsion to go into teasing/meanness mode to compensate for being unable to do anything with your feelings, you start to think they hold you slightly in contempt cos they know you are crushing on them (maybe cos you act in ways you wouldnt normally where you let your guard down unnecesarily or become suddenly shy etc). i dont think you can let this bother you though, unless you want all self respect to go out the window. and i think if youre working with that person, that should never happen.

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

the worst about this is that half the time it means "man we are such good platonic friends" and the other half of the time it means "i am too scared to flirt with you for real cos i hate getting hurt so i will distance myself with friend-flirts"

argh

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

Actually I'm reading this as, "dude, I know you like me, it's REALLY OBVIOUS, try and back off a little."

it's all in the context/inflection, i think.

i think it means move to another planet and find someone new

or call lacuna

ymmv

it means that sometimes but i have definitely seen it used as the "grown-up" (read: not grown-up) version of pulling someone's hair in the sandbox.

or you could borrow a line from mr. flagio and ask her to "take a chance"

more likely "gf doesn't like about it when i talk about my crush"

-- chicago kevin, Monday, September 24, 2007 3:00 PM

^ otm ;_;

Pretending to like her favorite singer/band eg. Jack Johnson

"Actually I'm reading this as, "dude, I know you like me, it's REALLY OBVIOUS, try and back off a little."

probably.

note: the fact that she's doing it that way and not just yelling at you means she really wants to keep being your friend.

also I mean I could be wrong.

well, theres not much point in caring if youre right or wrong (no offense) as crushes are pretty much a waste of time, either way.

Do people over 30 get crushes? And if they do, isn't that a little creepy?

Are you over 30?

Do people over 30 get crushes? And if they do, isn't that a little creepy?

Yes. No.

WAHT? Everyone gets crushes, unless their heart is as tiny and black as the Grinch.

The capacity is still there to get crushes, the difference I find is not meeting as many people to get crushes on.

I'm not over 30, though: I'm just talking about now vs. 10 years ago.

i thought it was a bit weird/creepy to have a crush at my age (im not yet 30 though, couple of years away yet) but no, i dont see how/why after a certain age, you should or could just 'stop' having crushes. unless youre in a relationship, maybe.

Yes I am over 30, don't really get them so much anymore. The will no longer exists.

What dally said except maybe not the no will part. I just don't really care/notice. I have someone I'm happy with and I can't remember the last time a live person caught my eye enough where I flirted, daydreamed, whatever you do with crushes.

xpost: damn. accident, or lifestyle choice?

Yeah, if you're happy in a relationship, you don't have outside crushes. You can keep having renewed crushes on the same person, though. Those are better, anyway.

I crush on him when he loads the dishwasher without being asked. </lame domesticity>

Yeah, if you're happy in a relationship, you don't have outside crushes.

not true

No, I don't think this is necessarily true either. But I wanted it to be clear that I didn't have a small, black Grinch heart.

Hm. Well, I don't really get crushes now, but then again, I'm over 30.

I'm approaching the mid-thirties-mark and believe I'm still capable of crushes, just not open or interested in them now.

i cant help but think that crushes are a bit adolescent.

They represent a sorta doe-eyed optimism/romanticism that is primarily adolescent, but it's something most people hang onto (albeit in diminishing increments) even as they age.

wtf i am over 30 and i still get crushes fairly often and i am not adolescent or unrealistic or otherwise freakish. the crushes though have diminished in their focal-point-of-life strength, while my imagination remains intense and must be beaten down with intellectual rigour, worries of survival, and repetition of the phrase 'does fuck you sound simple enough?' oh, it is true, one's heart does not shrink but is shrouded. how to be excited about someone new when one's life has already entered these darkened later years? when one knows that a rainy day disturbed by an hour of sunshine is still a rainy day. don't grow up kids, don't grow up.

http://files.myopera.com/Eddie_Lopez/blog/The_More_You_Know.jpg

Hang on what are we defining as crushes here? I'm just talking about any fond/romantic attraction towards another person. Fuck if I'm ever going to shut that out of my life. There's plenty of Milhouse Trayce to go round!

it's probably impossible to shut out those feelings! and if they come in giddy crush form that is okay! i still giggle sometimes even!

can i clarify that

They represent a sorta doe-eyed optimism/romanticism that is primarily adolescent, but it's something most people hang onto (albeit in diminishing increments) even as they age.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, September 29, 2007 1:15 AM

=

me and lots of others will always get crushes and i am cool with that

wtf i am over 30 and i still get crushes fairly often and i am not adolescent or unrealistic or otherwise freakish. the crushes though have diminished in their focal-point-of-life strength, while my imagination remains intense and must be beaten down with intellectual rigour, worries of survival, and repetition of the phrase 'does fuck you sound simple enough?' oh, it is true, one's heart does not shrink but is shrouded. how to be excited about someone new when one's life has already entered these darkened later years? when one knows that a rainy day disturbed by an hour of sunshine is still a rainy day. don't grow up kids, don't grow up.

-- rrrobyn, Saturday, September 29, 2007 2:14 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

whaa

i don't really understand time v well
more of a space person

Dear Robyn.

weird side-effects of crushes = taking up smoking again and being awake for 36 hours straight (admittedly this was a very indirect side-effect)

Going thru a SHITLOAD of sms credit :/

still waiting for txt reply from trayce :\

you're not smsworthy