Do you swear a lot?

fuck you

Damn straight, cocksucker.

quite a bit.

i used to work with this guy who would never even hint at a curse during work hours, but as soon as he was in an informal environment, particularly with beer in him, every second word was fuck or fucking or fucked. the transformation was impressive

Fuckin oath I swear, ya hatful of arseholes!

In fact, it gets me into some trouble. I think nothing of f-bombs, the only word I do use with discretion is cunt.

Growing up in a working-class family in a working-class neighbourhood, I've always sweared quite a bit. It was only when went to the uni that I realized there are people who don't swear at all, and who might even find my swearing offensive. But fuck them! ;)

More seriously, I think I've toned it down a bit as I've grown up, if for no other reason than because you can't swear at work like you did in school. But it's still such a big part of my personality I don't think I'll ever become a moderate swearer.

by the rood, i do.

I think this is the opportunity for you to teach us some Finnish swear words, Tuomas.

I don't swear very much.

I never ever fucking swear.

Soft twat.

I swear a lot, but I can turn it off in the right company. I've had rows with my dad about it because he doesn't think his children should swear (despite the fact that he does) and he doesn't think that women should swear (despite the fact that he does).

the only word I do use with discretion is cunt.

Just like me!

doesn't think that women should swear (despite the fact that he does).

Your dad is a woman?!

Homer: If you're happy and you know it say a swear!
Nelson: Boobs!
Milhouse: Heiny!
Ralph: Mittens!

bollox

I very rarely swear, probably because of my upper-middle class/upper class upbringing. Some people suggest that doing so is not only expressive in a kind of titillating, naturalistic way but also indicative of an admirable refusal to become subservient to the powers at be. Nonsense. Swearing is just the lazy, ignorant man’s way of avoiding the hassle of having to think up descriptive words.

I've been using "Jesus Christ" a lot lately. In English. I hate this, using English words, but I can't stop myself from doing it, even when my husband pokes fun at it. :-(

that's alright, the Belgian God won't understand you and you'll be spared a thunderbolt!

Swearing is just the lazy, ignorant man’s way of avoiding the hassle of having to think up descriptive words.

I'd say it's much more than that. First of all, you can swear imaginatively, Captain Haddock style. Secondly, swearing can be a signifier of culture and style, just like using fance descriptive words is. Why should middle-class style be considered the norm, and deviating from that a lack? Thirdly, rather than just working in a descriptive manner, swearing as an act of breaking the (admittedly weak) taboo can work to channel bursts of rage and anger in satisfactory (and non-violent) way, which is something less crude and therefore less taboo words can't do as easily.

To put it short: it is not a weakness or lack not to swear, but neither is swearing.

i swear lots. i like it. good thing i don't work in a school.

In the future 'Jeb' will be a swearword

Swearing is just the lazy, ignorant man’s way of avoiding the hassle of having to think up descriptive words

nonsense. swearing as taboo is a seriously outdated concept, unless it's the 'c' or 'mf' words in front of your granny, or the like. anyone under fifty deciding to get offended by swearing/bad language (that's not directed maliciously at somebody), well, i just don't know.

Stephen Fry on TV a couple of nights ago: "The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or of a lack of verbal interest is just a fucking lunatic"

only when i'm angry, which is quite often.

I often rue the fact that swearing in English is (or seems to be) far less inventive than swearing in a lot of other languages.

I once had someone working for me who, when I asked about the material state of an item he was supposed to be refurbishing, told me "the fucking fucker's fucking fucked. As fuck."

x-post

that's true. but it can be fun to use the literal english translations instead of the english equivalents.

e.g. (and this is not a great example, just the closest to hand):

va te faire en culer (French) = Fuck off (equivalent) = Go do yourself up the arse (literal)

aldo, that's a brilliant swear. applaud-worthy.

I was too taken aback by the quality of the swear to ask him what the fuck he was intending to do about it.

Snoball got there before me. I was very pleased that Fry argued in favour of swearage.

Upt0eleven, how about "go fuck yourself with a fishfork, sideways"?

(oft used between me and my teenage pals)

I know someone who regularly uses cuntyfuckbiscuit as an insult.

TWEE ALERT

Madchen, that's just the thing. no reason why swearing can't be creative (although equally i don't think it has to be). monkey island-style swears with a few more "fuck"s and "cunt"s in them rule.

fatballs fukdog was a favourite

I know someone who regularly uses cuntyfuckbiscuit as an insult.

-- aldo

I know someone who uses cuntyfuckbiscuit as their bluetooth ID thingie on their phone :-)

(which is nice when you're trying to explain bluetooth to your parents and forget that that's in your list of recognised devices)

NOT ANY MORE (for similar reasons)

A: "What's your logon password?"
B: "Shitbag"
A: "What did you call me?!"

Actually I've noticed a tendancy among IT professionals that the more that swear the better the situation is. So if two techicians are discussing a problem and one of them says "This PC's fucked up, the drivers are bollocksed and the hard disc is wankered up the shitter" = "probably be able to fix this". On the other hand if they're not swearing at all then the situation is really bad.

"more that swear" = "more they swear"
bollocks...

Ex just now on msn: "fuck ass buffet!"

That was a new one.

Today at work I said "well bugger me with a fishfork!" quite loudly. Being as I am used to quoting random Blackadder and the like. Unfortunately no one else in the office got it, and I got some odd looks :/

I cuss a fair amount. We made a concerted effort to keep our language clean around our daughter so she wouldn't pick up my lazy verbal shorthand, but now that she's grown up and has learned on her own the value of a bit of verbal napalm, I'm more relaxed about it and let fly a good bit.

One fun thing about the Amsterdam trip was how the Dirty Vicar started out the week as a total non-cusser, but as more and more of the gang got together in the city, he got a good bit saltier. At some point I asked him a question and the answer was "No! Fuck you!"

http://images.contactmusic.com/images/artist/kornap.jpg
WE SWEAR A LOT!!!

when i curse it sounds like flowers

That asshole Jeb is a fucking Republican. A frigging diggity doo douchebag.

Upt0eleven, you could equally argue that "fuck off" is so much more satisfying to say than "va te faire en culer" because it's like a couple of labiodental fricative bullets.

There should be some kind of expletive involving the word 'labiodental'.

i'm not all that creative. my most favourite/oft-used phrase: 'fucking fuck it!'

I know this will come as a shock given my online posting style, but I'm pretty much just as foul-mouthed if not more so IRL.

I rarely swear as an insult, and the swears-as-expression of surprise/shock "oh shit!" "damn" never get very creative, mostly because they're unintentional. As a kid I was deathly afraid of swearing (pops was a minister) so I don't swear much b/c it never sounds very natural. Except after a few drinks, when I turn into sam kineson

Jeb, dude (or bitch, whatEVAH), I was having a joke!

Also, I think my fave swear word in English is douchebag. It sounds so... sweet in a way.

cunt isn't a verb!

It is now! I would like to think I invented the phrase "cunting motherfucker", but I probably didn't.

And for the last world on the upper class and swearing, search for "The Fucking Fulfords".

"cunting motherfucker" is a good one.

I swear a very great deal, and have to make an effort to rein it in at times when it seems necessary to do so.

A friend who is much less sweary (but does not object to it) noted that constant use of profanity seems to devalue the words' power. I think this is a valid point.

The Swear King crown goes to my genius ex-bf who, in trying to end chronic theft of his food from a communal fridge, put this note on his grocery bag: "KEEP YOUR CHRIST-FUCKING HANDS OFF MY BAGELS."

I don't spend a lot of my time swearing, but when I start swearing I make up for lost time, often fitting 2-3 "fucks" in one sentence and maybe even 1-2 "shits" too. I blame my country upbringing. Thankfully, since I do have that "midwest Ontario" accent working for me, I just sound ignorant (and not affected, which would be worse in the case of uber-swearing, I reckon).

oh, a good compound swear is always shitheel. or mungbreath. uhh... felch-fodder.

you're all cunts

Someday, when "cockfarmer" enters the OED, it's important that DV gets his rightful credit.

I'm surprised that no-one's mentioned use of the word "shite" yet. It's a fabulous word. The extra "e" on the end really adds something, a kind of theatrical quality with an air of authority. This food isn't just "shit", it's "shite!". Possibly because it takes longer to say than "shit", and you have to force the word out more. Also there are more ways of saying "shite" - under your breath, at the top of your voice in the middle of a thunderstorm, etc..

I'm not big on shite.

liam gallagher's one contribution to the advancement of humanity -- and it is a good one, i'll admit -- is popularising the nasal-manc "sheeyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiite".

note on his grocery bag

not as good as "GUS'S COFFEE: A CUNT THAT MESSES IS A CUNT THAT DIES", which i discovered in a cupboard at work many years ago.

as for me ... i fucking love swearing. it's big and it's clever. actually: in order to prove this, i very nearly wrote my english-language honours dissertation on swearing (or "profane demotics", as i'd probably have called it in order to get extra big-bollocks points). but in the end i did it about punctuation instead. verily, i am a tolling bell-end who missed a magnificent chance. fuck. with the passing of time, i become substantially crosser about this. i mean, i could have knocked off at least 2000 words about the verbalisation process involved in "cunting" alone.

rats' cocks.

two other observations. despite my cludgie-mouth, i am remarkably reticent about what i'll allow into print when i'm working, and once -- i shit you not, motherfuckers -- incurred the wrath of the arts editor for changing "farting" to "flatulence". but he can suck it till it bleeds: i am keenly aware of just how easily offended some dickweeds are.

also: like the IT jizzwits mentioned above, i tend to swear slightly less at times of great stress -- or to lapse into catholicism, eg "mother of fucking god". those formative years as an altar boy (i lapsed when i was 15 and remain a confirmed atheist) obviously had a lasting effect.

GUS'S COFFEE: A CUNT THAT MESSES IS A CUNT THAT DIES

I still prefer my ex-bf's note, but this is very good indeed.

Americans that regularly use "shite" need to get fucking punched.

yeah, why say that when the perfectly good non-affectation "shitfuck" exists?

I have also noticed if you are offering to make someone dinner, a good way to make them request what you wish to cook is as so: "For dinner I can make us either Hamburger Helper spicy Italian or shitfuck." They'll always choose the non-shitfuck!

Americans who call people (esp. women) "cunts" sometimes DO get fucking punched. "Cunt" is a FAR nastier word here than it is in the UK.

My friend's point re devaluation was that, if you already use "fuck" three times per sentence, where do you go from there when you're especially furious? Obv. answer = GET CREATIVE!, but I still think he has a point.

Eat a big bag of cock!

"Eat a bowl of fuck, sir!" -- Lester Bangs

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I don't even know how often I swear, which is probably a good sign. I don't really think about it too much, except when I'm around little kids or old people, in which case I make a conscious effort not to and get really embarrassed if the people I'm with insist on continuing.

also:

Also, I think my fave swear word in English is douchebag. It sounds so... sweet in a way.

-- stevienixed, Wednesday, October 3, 2007 8:24 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Americans who call people (esp. women) "cunts" sometimes DO get fucking punched. "Cunt" is a FAR nastier word here than it is in the UK.

i'm not sure that anybody actually calling someone that wouldn't get punched. And I don't think it's any nastier a word in the US than it is in the UK either, especially when it's directed at somebody like that.

But does depend on how it is directed. It can be used successfully as a term of endearment. If I call someone a cunt they can generally take it to mean that I regard them very highly.

exactly! try living in glasgow for 0.0002s, darraghmac. "ya cunt" is on a par with "y'know", pretty much.

yes, i'm fully aware of this, but when it's not meant in a matey way it's just as offensive this side of the atlantic

Hmm, Still beg to differ. I think i could call someone a cunt here (and mean it) and for the most part they wouldn't take it any differently than if I had called them a twat/wanker/prick/whatever. In America it is still completely beyond the pale and when I was there I wouldn't use it EVER - for fear of, indeed, getting punched.

i don't have empirical evidence for such a hypothesis, and i'm not likely to go about gathering it (even if someone does want to pay for me to travel round the US calling people cunts). but i reckon upt0eleven is right.

The big difference between cunt in the US and in the UK is that in Britain it is an insult almost always aimed at men, whereas in the US it's often aimed at women and is far nastier as a result.

It's nasty when aimed at women, harmless when aimed at men

not buying it, youse caaants

I call my close friends cunts on a close to daily basis, but I agree with darraghmac, if you called the person who pushed in front of you at the post office a cunt, then I think you'd be greeted with shock and/or a world of pain.

Ah, I see. ...It's just that, in the US, "cunt" is always highly offensive. Nobody calls their friends cunts, and you would never see "A CUNT THAT MESSES IS A CUNT THAT DIES" on somebody's coffee.

... you wouldn't see that on somebody's coffee anywhere

DEREK: ...I said, "Who you fucking calling 'cunt', cunt?"
CLIVE: Yeah, what did he say, cunt?
DEREK: He said, "You fucking cunt!"
CLIVE: Well, you fucking cunt, who are you to say to him that he was a fucking cunt?
DEREK: Well, what d'you fu..., what d'you fucking think, mate, I fucking de... defending my fucking self, weren't I?

Except in this guys office (xpost):

http://www.biiwii.com/pit.jpg

One fun thing about the Amsterdam trip was how the Dirty Vicar started out the week as a total non-cusser, but as more and more of the gang got together in the city, he got a good bit saltier. At some point I asked him a question and the answer was "No! Fuck you!"

what kind of vadgemonkey talk is this?

I swear all the time. Fuck is one of my favorite words and it's not even really offensive to me anymore. In class a couple of weeks ago someone spelled out b-i-t-c-h instead of just saying it which astounded me. I should probably swear less.

... you wouldn't see that on somebody's coffee anywhere

well, i did :p

and while it's the most extreme example i've seen, violenty sweary notes on milk in communal fridges etc is exceptionally common in journalism. i guess it depends on the circles in which you move, doesn't it?

"A CUNT THAT MESSES IS A CUNT THAT DIES" is from Trainspotting, isn't it? A Begbie quote?

Our fridge currently has on it:

A POLITE MESSAGE FROM JANE
STOP NICKING MY CUNTING MILK
OR I WILL GIVE YOU A PRINCE ALBERT
WITH MY STILETTOS.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ME
PUT UP AN IMPOLITE NOTICE.

that pretty much how to swear in a nutshell right there.

that's genius. i like the sound of jane.

and ah! a trainspotting quote would make perfect sense: it'd be about the right time ... a year or so after the film came out. you'd think i'd be able to remember, having seen the film countless cunting times. but yeh, that's way plausible.

mind, it means gus loses many, many points for originality.

I will tell you stories of Jane next time we FAP.

I'm not 100% it's in the film, I think it's just from the book.

that's a good excuse for FAPpery as soon as possible.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

pah. fuckin' puritans.

OTM to my 35 pirate brethren. The rest of you are pussies.

And before you ask "quite often" is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

you're not a pirate just because you had scurvy

hahaha true, but it paves the way.