hey i had a really great idea tonite... how about an ASK ROXYMUZAK THREAD!!!!?!?!?!?!!!!

1. Always maintains eye contact, pompadour withers in heat, eats Brown Cow popsicles, observant, makes a point to speak to everyone, encouraging, suffers fools, slow talker, anecdotes about the RZA. Eats a fuckton of food. Tall! V. v. smart guy and a super-hottie, obv.

2. I don't really know about "best," but I drink a lot of Beam and Maker's these days. Used to drink Old Granddad exclusively, and that is certainly not the best.

3. That Mark C. sang on an Art Garfunkel record.

dearest roxy,

what do you have against ventriloquy? U PREJUDICED AGAINST PUPPETS?

4. Just that every ventriloquist on earth is embarassing. +1 for Harlan Pepper, though.

*embarrassing

how can you look into these eyes and not smile?

http://www.character-shop.com/images/sprntdumm.jpg

5. Ugh. Like this!

sorry but we can't be friends anymore. you dis my puppets, you dis my pics of my puppets, and when i sent you that tape of my ventriloquist act WHICH I WROTE JUST FOR YOU, you mailed it back with a note saying "get a life, DUMMY". and then you say i can't open for your band with my act.

sorry, but maybe you're just jealous because my career is actually taking off? i played at 2 local church youth centers and i'm a regular at the Barley's taproom in G'ville (every third Wednesday of the month). what have you and your band done? gone on TOUR? hahahahahaha!!!! in two years i'll be on LENO and OPRAH.

BTW, Mordechai (Lenny fell apart:-/) says, "(expletive)"

Late, are you just P.O.ed that you have chosen to engage ironically in an art that no longer actually exists, and now you have no other "skill"? ANY SERIOUS QUESTIONS PLZ

dear roxymuzak,

you're never going to finish tour blog. is it because it's been too long and you don't remember the details anymore?

6. No, that's not it. I have an amazing knack for remembering details AND I write a lot of things down. It's really just the fact that it's been a long time that's making me hesitate to post it.

that's dumb

that's dumb

do u like me y or n?

roxymuzak
what is your favourite lip-syncing video?

xxxxxxx-post

it's not ironic! it is an active, healthy art form.

7. Chaki, you're great. I'm sorry that we ended up banning each other. "I was just trying to be funny."

8. My true favorite of all time is the teenaged Chinese boys in their bedroom lipsyncing and acting out Legend of the White Snake. It contains every element of lipsyncing videos that I celebrate, and I lvoe the song. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkRanYH_-cs

(Jordan/nabisco: Fuck you! Consider the blog in the editing stage. Latebloomer: You're cracked.)

9. what should i name my blog

i didnt really ban you

9. Name it "I know you, asshole."

Chaki, I have never even been to your board. :\

Dear Roxy, can YOU make this dancer go the other way? (and if so, how? thx) I only see her going counter-clockwise and trying to see her go clockwise is breaking my brain cell.

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html

(i only see clockwise, that is crazy!)

roxy,

what kind of person would be dumb enough to encourage kingboypato posting?

10. Hi, Stan! First of all, the test is a sham! I see her going counter-clockwise, and I will not attempt to do otherwise for long because it is hurting my eyes.

11. I've never met such a person.

Dear Roxy,

Are men > women, or are women > men? (> = better than, not bigger than)

Yours,

Libc

this is not intended as a slight on roxymuzak as she is awesome, but really, you shouldn't be asking someone from tennessee what the best bourbon is.

(the answer is pappy van winkle 20 year family reserve)

12. Some women and men > other women and men, and that's it.

(& Stence is right, Kentucky pwns Tennessee in bourbon lore any day.)

Roxy,

What is yr most obnoxious habit?

Yrs,

Libc

13. roxy how do you know jim jarmusch?

dear roxy,

why is it that numbers like 49 and 99, in roman numerals, are expressed as XLIX, or XCIX? wouldn't it have been easier to just use IL and IX?

related question: where do the french get off thinking belgians are dim, when the french say "four twenties and ten" and begians have a proper word for "ninety?"

confused,
nabisco

(like especially why say XLV -- meaning "ten less than fifty, plus five" -- instead of just VL, meaning "five less than fifty"?)

dear roxy,

where do you stand on the issue of bed sheets? tucked or untucked?

quotidianly,
-m.

13. My most obnoxious habit is either getting drunk and starting fights or intense procrastination. I am working on both.

14. I met Jim Jarmusch when my band played a music festival where he was showing Coffee and Cigarettes.

15. Because Roman numerals function in a kind of decimal system (grouped by what, in Arabic numerals, would be a decimal place). In other words, for 49, you gotta have 40, and you gotta have 9. IL would throw off the entire system. Did you ask me this because I studied Latin?

16. I don't know much about this, but I'd say that while the French are probably not being fair to the Belgians, they probably also do not care about their number ninety.

17. Tucked to the max!

18. How are you coping with Gradski as your new PA?

18. That's going really well. He's got inside scoops on everything and knows how I take my coffee. And I'm not above just sitting down and having a chat with him, like he is an actual friend of mine instead of just an employee.

I asked because you're smart and whatnot! I kinda realized why along the way, but it was still fun to wait for a response.

:)

19. Dear Roxy - what is best black metal album for the noughties?

19. My gut says to go with Nachtmystium's Instinct: Decay. Highly recommended. Though apparently they no longer want to be known as a BM band (too bad, they still are).

20. What's your stand on bassists like jaco pastorius and les claypool?

21. How big of a role does geometry play in composing bass lines?

22. Will anyone ever be as cool as Cliff Burton?

20. "Stop playing like an asshole" is my basic platform.

21. While you still suck, it plays a much bigger role than it will after you stop sucking.

22. Clarify: Do mean as cool just existing on Earth or as cool IN METALLICA?

earth.

23. whats the name of your band+style+influences+ysi?

22. Yeah, there are people that match Burton in coolness. No one will ever be as cool in Metallica, though.

23. The name of my band is Tenderhooks. There are a couple of other bands called this, and they stink. Our style is rock music. Our cumulative influences are Neil Young, Beatles, Television, Meat Puppets. My individual influences are Jon Entwistle, Paul McCartney, Peter Hook, and Matthew Freeman (for bassing) and Emmylou Harris (for singing).

You can listen to us here.

Revisiting question 10: Position your broswer so you can only see her feet and only concentrate on those for a while. Think about clockwise motion. Then scroll back up!

http://web.archive.org/web/20060718150302/http://stout.hampshire.edu/~bjk02/princess/excuse1.swf

That's taking way too long to load.

that's just the sound

http://web.archive.org/web/20060701045214/stout.hampshire.edu/~bjk02/princess/

spending time in the "o" section huh

Dear "country" "matters",

It was lol, and you gotta admit it was pretty representative. Moreover, Grady told me to do it.

Yours,
Roxy

Dear Omar,

Will do this weekend, even possibly before!

-Rox

my BM shortlist looks something like this:

http://www.simonnicholson.com/images/stools.jpg

My sister has ^that framed above her toilet.

hey roxy ima buy liquor for the weekend is there any booze u wanna have around the house for when yall get here since itll be sunday and we cant buy booze??

My favorite liquor is whisky, but I will be happy with whatever you do!

dear roxymuzak, i guess so, and i constantly haw @ my own evangelistic ways, but there were some excerpts which altho may have softened the lols would also have made the conversation seem less one-way, viz:

country matters (00:28:39): oh did u hear musics
roxymuzak (00:28:43): yes i did!
roxymuzak (00:28:44): <3

roxymuzak (00:30:24): well thanks for turning me onto them

roxymuzak (00:31:03): hm
roxymuzak (00:31:08): dont send more cardiacs
roxymuzak (00:31:08): lol

roxymuzak (00:51:41): thanks for all this, btw

am not particularly disgruntled, though. :)

wait country matters you are exactly who i think you are aren't you

shhhhhh

welcome back, l0u1s jagg3r

<3

hey are you gonna play this game of facebook scrabble OR WHAT?

Oh, Ian, I can't use facebook at work!

HARUMPH

shit. bummer.

Let's play something else! RED ROVER RED ROVER

how about pouring me a healthy shot of old granddad?

You know, I actually have a bottle of Old Granddad in my kitchen right now.

i'm just drinking beam. my roommates killed the knob creek while i was out of town.

It occurs to me that in my BM shortlist above, Enslaved - Isa should also have a 5 star recommendation.

do knoxville peeps hate nashville? if so, is it justified or are y'all just jealous?

I'd say it's kind of a Manchester to London kind of relationship. I've never liked Nashville much, but I'm kinda ambivalent TBH. It's just an identity thing: when people hear you are from TN, they assume you are from Memphis or Nashville, both "cradles of country music" and big "music cities" which Knox is not recognized as being, despite being v. important in cuntry music history, natch. So, that's the main beef. Also Nashville sucks to be a working musician in, a lot of people are real "pro" and douchebaggy about band-related issues. I think that few regular people realy care about this, tbh, and it's mostly kind of a fringe, musician thing.

ok that is a gross misspelling of country sorry

"This song puts the 'cunt' back into 'country.'"
-- Carlene Carter

"Had a great idea the other night . . .
What if eh . . .
Come-a ty yi yippie, baby"
--Randy Newman

why u ban me from 1p3 for making dumb joke on bad attitude thread?

it was a bad joke by your own admission

ilx poster roxymuzak

what it is

<7

P.S.--should i go to bed like a big boy or stay up

Sorry, I never really read ILX til I'm at work. Go to bed, haw!

Dear roxymuzak,

Did you get my ILX mail I sent you?

Just wonderin

Yes, I just almost never use the internet during the week. I just now received it! I was not ignoring you. You are too sweet to send that, are you crazy?! You did NOT offend me, lol. Killin' me with cuteness here.

*phews*

n/l means NEXT LEVEL! haw

FUCK, I knew it!

I blame the entire debacle on Max!

roxy did you get my postcard

Yes, I did! I believe I got 2! I forgot to post this, haw. <3<3 Thanking you.

oh yeah i forgot i sent 2! i have plans for more 'creative' postcards next time...

loooool n/l

NEXT LEVEL MAX, NEXT LEVEL

I should have learned to be less gullible after I fell for my sister's "unicorn in the backyard" story, april fools day, 1991.
NEVER AGAIN.

I ended up asking a mod to delete all my wolf animations off of the thread, so did James K Polk, and then Jergins locked the thread. All so Max could get some giggles!

i genuinely thought it was not lovin zach, not trying to play a trick, but this is real lolzy now

agreed!

I feel better. I thought I had faux poed bigtime.

dear roxy,
im filling out citizenship forms and one question asks would i like to change my name and what to. im tempted to change my hated middle name. any suggestions?

Sunny,

AFAIK your actual name is Sunny Successor, so I'm working from there. Standard middle names like Anne and Marie can be nice if you think of them as accentuators of the actual meat-and-potatoes parts of the name (the surname and Christian name, obv). If you've got a good one-two punch with those, then a more vanilla (this does not mean plain, but rather receptive to other more whomp-you-over-the-gourd flavors) name will do well for you. However, if you want to be called Caledonia, be called Caledonia. Whatever makes you happy. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, in a way. Perhaps there is something or someone you would like to commemorate or pay tribute to with your name. Something to think about.

-Rox

PS: "shaquille"

'dusty'

"THE"

There are a lot of quality ideas here:

Greatest Sports Nicknames

And I would add "crazylegs" to the list.

thanks roxy! i was actually thinking about my hero in blondness farrah fawcett. and mookieproiof you knew i was going to name beeps 'dusty'?? everyone in my in-law family has such an aversion to dusty baker of baseball fame i couldnt do it to them. Z_S - im some serious consideration into 'magic'.