Find Me a Job

Like I said, crap.

I'm all for Cheezwhizz's suggestion, by the way.

Let all the jobless / soon-to-be jobless gather and burn mementos from their former / current employers in effigy.

Nepotism aside, the funding for my wee li'l non-profit organization is dwindling to a pittance. By the end of April, I'll be sitting at home, in my dirty bathrobe (2 sizes too small), staring at the TV (turned off, of course), a trail of potato chip crumbs leading from my drooling mouth down to my belly, smacking my lips like a cud- chewing cow.

Oh - and I'll be unemployed, too.

I'm not worried about finding a job, mind you - not yet, anyway. I'm just relieved, actually - this org has been in the Kung Fu Grip of Death ever since I was hired. I'm just glad it's finally taking itself off the respirator and dying.

For the record, I am looking forward to finding a job with a definite future. I relish this opportunity to prove myself, and am positive that I will be successful. My ideal working environment will be a challenging one, an environment where my skills are tested on a daily basis and hard work is a valued commodity. References are available upon request.

Ahem.

And, damn it, this ain't a pity party just for myself! Where's everyone else? I can't eat this entire cake!

Marines is an anagram of remains, i have just noticed...

Preferrably something that involves writing (about arts/culture/entertainment), which includes proofreading/editing. Am I being too picky?

You should work for VIZ (http://www.viz.com/)!
Somehow.

Or...you could try Wired magazine? It's local and would cover some of your interests.

Also - we need to hang out again!

or do you think youre too good for that huh

Hi dere! Find me a job!

me too, altho i havent lost mine (yet???)

Dog Latin impersonator

kill myself

i'd love to get into subbing/copy editing/journalism or something like that. I hav teh English degree, a bit of InDesign on my side and some writing (mostly online). I'd like to know how one gets started in freelance writing too.

Dog Latin impersonators don't really get much money these days so I here. And the hours are awful!

ironically i just found out i might be let go this week :(

the only thing keeping me here is that my employer hates the idea of former employees getting unemployment

My school district is always looking for school bus drivers. It pays more than minimum wage, and you get the summer off.

is it located in chicago il

Who's got two opposable thumbs, speaks limited French, and needs a job?

This moi.

Take my boss's job... PLEASE.

Wait, you need mad progamming skillz for that. You can learn, right?

I can learn anything.

Srsly I have no pride keeping me from working retail or anywhere really--I just need to make some cash, I don't mind WORK. But there is something really depressing about begging to be accepted for a position that'll be all 'HMMM I'm not sure if you have the right amount OF retail experience' and I'll have to explode YES, I WORKED IN A SHOP I WAS FIFTEEN--SINCE THEN I'VE COMPLETED THREE DEGREES AND AM NOW A DOCTOR EVEN IF A KIND OF RUBBISH SORT OF DOCTOR I THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO ORGANIZE THE STOCK IN THE BACKROOM OF YR BOOKSHOP.

don't know why OF is capitalized

what i mean is:

a)I'll work pretty much anywhere--I don't think many jobs are 'below me'
but
b)I just want to work it, I don't want to go through the whole process of applying, proving, begging for the privilege to be underpaid for a shit job that I could do in my sleep.

Ah, you may have to do the MVE thing until something comes along; you go in and they give you 200-question music trivia test which if you pass, you get a job selling secondhand records and it starts almost immediately. And most of the people working there are in bands/have small labels/are grad students.

that is a sort of idea, thanks!

find me one as well please, i find out in a week if i get the boot or not!

how about temping? it's not as reliable but there is cash and only one application involved, the one to the agency.

i'm working on this - i have an interview for a (cool but far away and badly paying) part time job. if i get it i'll need to find at least one more part time job, and if i don't i'll go back to turning in applications for full time stuff.

Well i'm going to have to find something quick if i do lose it, so that may be handy.
I there an age thing with temping, i'm 35 and don't want to be treated like a kid...

it must be awful to wait around to hear! i hope your job is safe.

OMG if some recruiter changed anything on my CV without my explicit permission I would go completely and utterly apeshit.

I am waiting for an HR person - for a company that came to me- to get back to me with feedback on a writing sample I know is a-OK but hiring managers have been dithering. There is no email chivvying them along that would not be passive aggressive even though it's my one-month Anniversary Of Waiting today.

I have been unemployed for a month.

It's starting to feel scary now.

my recruitment consultant is a g. i managed to get sacked for accidentally sending highly sensitive docs to my mate and my boss at the same time, slink me into the marketing section of the DOH which lasted a month before they caught on i blagged it and still sorted me out another job in less than a month each time. Admittedly its all PA work and not design but i cant really be picky in the current climate considering how average i am at it

The problem is that desperation makes you apply for jobs you're not really best suited for, which you inevitably don't get, and then begins a downward spiral of confidence.

('you' = me, btw)

Also the 'sunk cost' of applying for jobs and preparing for interviews is incredible these days - a real barrier if you're still trying to do a demanding job at the same time.

The problem is that desperation makes you apply for jobs you're not really best suited for, which you inevitably don't get, and then begins a downward spiral of confidence.

completely OTM. spent a couple of months earlier on this year and it overwhelmed me to the point i ended up in the worst brain melting bout of depression ive had in my adult life. Best thing i did was chill out and see breaks in employment as a chance to learn new skills which i should have done at uni and i dont have time to work on when 9-5. And baking.

new skills would be a fine thing

ive got dreamweaver and flash touchups/actually learning how to use them planned for my next bout in a few weeks

i just found 3 good leads on USAJOBS.gov and the advanced search is really helpful

oh and if you think being unemployed for one month is irritating, try being unemployed and not being eligible for unemployment benefits ever since you graduated in may 2008

oh, and my .pdf scans of my cover letter and transcript always were a bit blurry because of the upload size limit... does this ever happen to any of yall or am I just doing it wrong?

hmmm probably because i made the .pdfs using .bmps instead of .jpegs

i kinda like having my transcript being little bit blurry though :p

oh and if you think being unemployed for one month is irritating, try being unemployed and not being eligible for unemployment benefits ever since you graduated in may 2008

yeah I graduated in june and I have a short-term thing that's ending at the end of this month. as *horrible* as it is to be our age and looking for any post-college job right now - and not having any government support while doing it - I do count my blessings that I have zero obligations beyond paying my (relatively) cheap rent. no family, no mortgage etc.

just signed up w/ Monster.com, no one has a fucking positive word to say about em, eh?

(my last unemployed search, the web was a blip, ca '94-95)

Do you always follow up a mailed resume with a phone call 3 days later?

re: the talk of .pdfs vs .docs upthread - surely it's easier to search for keywords on a CV database if it's a .doc, or am i wrong? in my experience the majority of recruitment consultants are cretinous morons who couldn't find their ways to their office chairs in the morning, let alone search and edit a PDF file.

i am sure lots of these places have software that scans pdfs and converts to .doc or just scans pdfs for keywords... i've definitely used software that would do the former.

Dr. Morbs, I got my current contract via Monster, though I really hate that site.

what would you search for on a C.V.? "awesome"?

Um, keywords associated with the job your filling, like:

- programming languages
- development platforms
- past job titles
- operating systems
- development methodologies
- database names

etc etc etc

ok - i just can't imagine that would be faster than scanning down the page with your eyes..

It's faster when you're trying to pull together a bunch of resumes that have been submitted to the site but not necessarily to your position.

pdfs are text-searchable fools

o i c

xp

explaining to 25-year-old agency recruiter my '80s/90s antiquarian jobs; oh, the fun

IIII am getting nerrrrrrvous. Do NOT want to have to borrow money from my mom. :( :( :( :(

oh, the jobs on Craiglist that fit my history. 35-40K in the Hudson Valley... with no benefits.

wow, THAT's the max NY weekly unemployment payment? Family loans going to start soon.

monster was bad enough for job seekers before the recession, now it's got to be awful. positions at my company that used to get 5-6 applicants are getting hundreds via monster.

as always, the best way to find a job is through friends and contacts. monster is probably going to be a black hole into which your cv is thrown unless you've got some superstar background which miraculously fits exactly what they are looking for.

pdfs are text-searchable fools

not if they're scanned < /pendant>

if yr scanning yr resume to pdf to upload to a job site you dont deserve to have a job!

im working @ wrigley field dudes, how bout THAT

today a register jockey stole $5

im basically a glorified babysitter

by 'glorified' i mean my shirt is burgundy, & everyone else rocks red

job interview in about two hours, wish me luck.

I have 24 days to study for my first actuarial exam - financial mathematics/economics (where people are told to spend 300 hours studying). I'm hoping I'll pass and feel like Frank Abagnale beating the bar exam ('catch me if you can'). I imagine going insane over the next few weeks.. not to mention my second exam is 1 week after the first.

I'm new here on ILE btw

24*24 leaves you 276 hours fro eating and sleeping. what's the problem? i'm currently trying to fit in 8 all day seminars worth of notes into the next 5 1/2 hours :(

g'luck roz

thanks darraghmac, you too.

and welcome mulvaney! relax, 24 days and one week between 2 exams is plenty of time - make good notes, stock up on caffeine and you'll be set.

there's a new verb in job ads: "liase."

kill me now.

Forget a job (for now), where can I find a stopgap health plan for about $150/month (ie, cheaper than COBRA)? There's one I've found online which is ER/hospital only, I need office visits...

HALLO

^^ Events Organiser for a Mobile Telecommunications Multinational

THAT IS THE DAY I FINALLY FLING MYSELF OFF CANARY WHARF

LOVE WHAT YOU DO, LOUIS

DARE TO BE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD *splat*

xxp mis-read that as THIS IS THE DAY, and I was about to say 'Let me know how big the flashing red light is on top, because I've always wondered about that...'

IT'S A WHITE LIGHT NOT A RED LIGHT

and now, time for a MUSICAL INTERLUDE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMWzYip6R30

There should be a The The tribute band called 'teh teh'...

maybe my band could be called that

lol 'a band' really is my big plan atm, I am such a tit

LOOK I HAVE TWO DEGREES

why didn't I just leave school at 16 and get a proper job

there's times for a degree, and times for good honest work.

you got two degrees.

kinda says it all mayne.

says it all.

*smh*