Inventions

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What do you wish someone would invent? ( there's probably people on this board who could do it)

― duane zarakov, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I want an alarm clock i cannot sleep through and decent transcribing computer .

― anthony, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Some sort of plastic coating that you put on your skin so that you never have to take a shower, you can just wipe down, like an android.

― Ally, Saturday, 21 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

a toilet that cleans itself, an honest real estate agent and a sound barrier between the neighbours and myself

― Geoff, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Geoff we have that stuff here in Boston. Ther e is a self cleaning public toilet near government centre and for sound barrier I use earplugs and I built a small tower to put my speaker on it so its pushed against the ceiling so if they get loud they get Add N to X really fuckin g loud.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

time stopping machine.

― kevin enas, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A pop robot.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A giant pop robot

― mark s, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A giant pop robot that magically cures hangovers.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A giant pop robot that administers plastic, peel-away skin, has a fold-away, self-cleaning toilet, a layer of soundproof glass to place between yourself and your neighbours, the ability to genetically engineer a real-estate agent that is unable to tell a lie, an alarm clock that plays a loop of Dr. Laura at ever increasing volumes, stops-time and gets that orange residue off your fingers after eating junk-food with the word "Cheez" in its name.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Nothing cures hangovers.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

mike - how do the toilets clean themselves? Thanks for the advice re noise - my question is with earplugs, do you still hear the alarmclock go off?

― Geoff, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Earplugs with alarm clocks in them! Zenith of Deafness-Causing Human Culture.

― mark s, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Just this Friday night, someone at the pub was telling me about those self cleaning toilet dealies that they saw in San Fran. Apparently they have them so that the moment you close the door, this disenfectant spray comes down from the ceiling, kind of hosing the whole thing down for each new person. I have no proof of this tho. But I have seen toilet *seats* with this weird sanitary paper casing on them that replaces itself after you stand up. It just slides clockwise around the seat so the next person has a 'fresh' place to sit. It kind of freaks you out if you're not expecting it. Self flushing toilets never seem to work properly tho... inventions of Satan. Is it just here, or are automatic faucets so common now that when you encounter a manual one, you often (foolishly) just stand there wondering why the water isn't spilling out yet?

― Kim, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

No Kim for as we know I live in the wastelands of Middle America where we do not have such foolish luxuries as robotic sinks which do all the work for us. We do it the way GOD INTENDED by turning the handle. No wonder the whole world's going to pot.

― Josh, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

hamburger milkshakes.

― ethan, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

In middle america taps have HANDLES? Blimey. (As noted, Brits use soot: solves the problem...)

― mark s, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The fancy places have knobs.

― Josh, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Hydroponic meat.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

the toilet is sprayed hard by a hose after the door closes

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Mike: We may use soot, but we do know how to piss in a toilet, thank you very much.

― Graham, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A mechanism whereby I could open up my head, take my brain out and give it a good wash before replacing it.

A method of switching heads would be vastly approved, as well.

― Kate the Saint, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

The Japanese have just invented a detergent free washing machine. Yowsa - Persil must be quaking in their boots. (It uses ionic power or something - like those pyramid room ionisers that you neighbours used to have to make the room smell like the seaside to excuse the naturally fishy smell coming off creapy neighbour man).

― Pete, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Not to be outdone, the Koreans are working on voice-synth tech whereby you merely shout DIRT BE AWAY (or Korean equiv) and a column of ionised aire bursts through yr duds sweeping all before it. Unfortunately there is currently a chroma-key glitch: any thing pink or puce is carried away with it.

― pete s, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Nothing will part me from my Persil capsules, nothing!

― Emma, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Methinks Mr Sinker has fallen into the first trap of knowing that I am an inveterate liar, that i tell the rtuth sometimes....

See this article in Saturday's Times, and ask me about Ho Chi Minh being the All England Skittles champion of 1922.

― Pete, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I wish they'd invent really beautiful, intelligent, and lifelike robot women; only problem is, the "intelligent" and "lifelike" factors would mean they'd turn me down for dates...

― Chris, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A "phone finder" paging function for EVERYTHING.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

A device that finds and then literally slaps internet trolls. I picture a hand coming out of the phone, like in Stop The Pigeon.

― DG, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

one year passes...

A sandwich toaster that works on irregular shaped bread.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 10:09 (twenty-four years ago)

It's called a grill.

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 10:15 (twenty-four years ago)

Do grills crimp??????????????????????????

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 11:14 (twenty-four years ago)

You're not supposed to use it on your hair.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 11:15 (twenty-four years ago)

a pill you take that makes you drunk instantly [ or say in 20 - 40 mins ] and one that makes you undrunk, also. ive been wishing that for a long long time now. beer just makes me pee.

― ***1979*** (***1979***), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 11:17 (twenty-four years ago)

Have you tried spirits?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 11:21 (twenty-four years ago)

no its not the same. spirits can make you sick. i want to eliminate vomitting altogether.

― ***1979*** (***1979***), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 11:25 (twenty-four years ago)

A device that finds and then literally slaps internet trolls.

Or a killfile that actually kills spammers.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 13:26 (twenty-four years ago)

Mmm. It's a dream.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 20:28 (twenty-four years ago)

four years pass...

I was just watching finale of American Inventor. Of course the fire-fighting device would beat out the bra.

Every time I think of an invention and check for patents, I find out someone has received a patent for it in the past few months. I'm a day late and a dollar short, so to speak. The latest idea was a seat cover to take to the beach, with removable towel material on the top and a water-proof material underneath and straps to make it easily fit over your car seats so when you get in the car dripping wet from the beach you don't get your car seat wet. Just a towel doesn't usually do it. Patent granted last February.

Another idea I had a while back is a sensor in the hot water tap so that you don't have to run water until the hot water comes out. There would be a flap/valve and return pipe that would divert the cold water, perhaps into the cold water pipe, until the water flowing through the hot side reached the right temperature.

― Maria :D, Thursday, 2 August 2007 02:40 (nineteen years ago)

I found out a patent had been granted for that last one about 2 months before I thought of it. I haven't heard of it in production yet.

― Maria :D, Thursday, 2 August 2007 02:41 (nineteen years ago)

A pear ripeness tester.

― *rumpie*, Thursday, 2 August 2007 08:54 (nineteen years ago)

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