FUCK QUIZNOS

you forgot "motley crue special"

tissue paper wrapped in cardboard is the most accurate

agh I did forget "Motley Crue special"

i went w/ total ass bcuz i've used this description too many times re: QUIZNOS' SUBS.

where's the option for "I've never even thought about eating there."???

those commercials are total classics tho u_u

where's the option for "I've never even thought about eating there."???

That is equivalent to "your mom on a hot day".

HERE AT QUIZNOS WE TOAST OUR GARBAGE SO YOUR GARBAGE IS ALWAYS HOT.

:D

kudos, fake Jordan

where's the option for "I've never even thought about eating there."???

That is equivalent to "your mom on a hot day".

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 6:26 PM (19 seconds ago)

Well, at least for most people.

I mean, Ian R-M is probably still posting here somewhere.

http://g-equity.com/pix/quiznos.jpg

(ASIDE: Does everyone know what an "Alabama Hot Pocket" is?)

Don't despair,
just because it's Quiznos.
Children, they're
all so gay at Quznos.
All the children on the street
hope they get something good to eat.
But for me it's not so great.
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!
Fuck Quiznos!

(ASIDE: Does everyone know what an "Alabama Hot Pocket" is?)

NO. DO TELL

it's the opposite of an altoids blowjob.

wtf you guys. do you think Subway is better?

1. alabama hot pocket 1405 up, 277 down

the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)

Shanya decided her vagina needed some lube so her boyfriend performed an alabama hot pocket.

by SWC Feb 4, 2005 email it
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2. alabama hot pocket 391 up, 117 down

The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough.

Yeah boy, I gave her a good ole Alabama Hot Pocket. What? No shit I Porky Piggin'd that shit.

tags dirty sanchez cleveland steamer snowballing donkey punch the angry pirate
by Vlorg Orlando, FL Aug 18, 2006 email it
3. Alabama Hot Pocket 120 up, 63 down

When a man excretes fecal matter into a female's vagina.

"What's that smell?"

"Claire's brother just gave her an Alabama Hot Pocket."

tags alabama hot pocket hawt fecal matter feces vagina
by Dmitri B Arizona Dec 1, 2006 email it

Our Quizno's got closed down for not paying their sales tax.

Jimmy Johns is better

xpost oh my

"porky piggin'"

"Porky Piggin'd" as a verb phrase continues to be very o_O

(xpost HA)

2 girls 1 hot pocket

tags alabama hot pocket hawt fecal matter feces vagina

I like Quizno's.

I need to go kill myself now to relieve the psychic agony of knowing what an Alabama hot pocket is. Thanks.

how many "shit on women" terms are there on urbandictionary? it seems like half the database is comprised of that. lol 13 yo boys

I almost broke up with urbandictionary.com over "Alabama Hot Pocket".

1. hot lunch 792 up, 216 down

the act of shitting in clingfilm stretched over someones open mouth then fucking the mouth and at the point of ejaculation bursting through the clingfilm giving the recipiant a mouthful of shit and spunk

got any food wrap dear ?i fancy giving a hot lunch

cut it out

i'll stop now.

lol britishers "Fancy some faeces?"

quizno's is for assholes

yeah I'm actually going to delete those posts unless dan wants to have the thread marked nsfw

people dry heaving at their desk probably not so great

YAAAAOOOOOOWWWWSPACEPUG.jpg to all of this ick

Aw.

u_u

No pictures = no deletion, in my book. It's just words (about people eating poop)!

quizno's tastes like tubgirl looks

Quiznos tastes like nachoe cheese?

ftr i had no idea what an Alabama Hot Pocket was until i looked it up on urbandictionary 5 minutes ago.

how many "shit on women" terms are there on urbandictionary? it seems like half the database is comprised of that. lol 13 yo boys

-- El Tomboto, Friday, November 2, 2007 2:34 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wait do you really think that little dudes just starting to go through puberty are most of the people who are into hardcore scat and making up colorful terminology for it?

How Long Has It Been Since... well, YOU know... had an Alabama Hot Pocket

I have to say this thread is turning out way better than I expected it to!

Quiznos? More like Fuck Nos!

http://images.andale.com/f2/127/123/7937774/1087439789662_ssscat_cat_counter_logo.jpg

In college my friends and I used to try to make up the most outlandish sexual perversions possible - I'm sure some of these are just the product of that same kind of stoned loserdom. I hope they are, anyway.

1. quizno's combo meal 563 up 77 down

the act of putting lettuce on a piece of shit, toasting the shit, eating it, and washing it down with a cupful of warm piss

On the plus side, you now know what an Alabama Hot Pocket is.

UGH WENDY'S (they have the best chicken sandwiches tho, that spicy one is boss)

-- HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:41 (1 hour ago) Link

^^^omg this is so true. also oreo pizza is honestly the most disgusting food i've had this year. the definition of ppl running out of good ideas.

I kind of need to go to a Shari's now just to see if it's really that bad. I've seen them all over but figured they probably weren't really good, but now I need to know how bad they actually are.

I'm thinking "hot garbage" is going to win this. It seems the most accurate to me.

yeah, i put that one.

that was my vote

i am not voting. i enjoy quiznos.

I'm totally going to go get a chicken carbonara sub as Quizno's sometime soon because of this thread. You guys have totally failed to convince me that this place is any worse than 90% of other places where you pay an unsanitary stranger behind a counter to make a big greasy sub. I thought this was America, people.

(xpost right fucking on chaki!)

what they said

but kudos to J0rdan nonetheless

can i film you guys eating quizno's, then post it on youtube, then trick friends into watching it, film them watching it, then lol as they retch, then post that on youtube, then we can move this thread to the comments boxes for the video?

o spongmonkeys

i miss tim at kfc dot edu ;_;

if the unsanitary stranger serves boar's head coldcuts on a big roll for three dollars even and i can pick up a pack of rough rider condoms at the same time then i'm down

You don't even want to know how much Quiznos costs in the UK.

i heard you can get a syrup and mash sandwich on dutch crunch bread for 59 winks

quizno's tastes like slime drenched in more slime. i think subway has gotten slightly better/less scary over the years, but i only ever order the turkey or the subway club or the chicken teriyaki.

haven't been to a california chicken cafe yet, but rock island wraps was good the couple of times i went there. i like their "greek" wrap.

i had quizno's the other day because i needed something fast - it wasn't terrible

I don't get this Subway is better thing. In California at least, Quizno's is better than Subway in every way, I don't see how this is even debatable! The meat is better, the cheese is better, the toasting is WAY better, the veggies are about the same, the sauces are better, the design of the restaurants is so much better, better beverage options and it goes on. I think Subway is *slightly* cheaper, but it should be *much* cheaper.

yes, subway is way grosser

i agree with spencer chow

With a name like chow, how could he be wrong?

I've had Quiznos once -- it was foul -- but I'm witholding judgment because of small sample size.

With a name like chow, how could he be wrong?

^^ false logic

with a name like johnson, he's gotta be hung

http://www.datehole.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/bj-snowmobiles.JPG

ian "normous" johnson

-- haitch, Tuesday, April 17, 2007 1:12 AM

here quiznos is a dump. I guess it depends who's running the franchise or whatever but in my experience, there is no meat in quiznos, even if you get something like "ham" or whatever it's just diced cubes.

at least in subway the meat is visible and the vegetables are fresh. quiznos is really acidic and nasty.

"even the Dairy Queens be nice in Caley... FO - NYAAAAAH"

dairy queens are great everywhere.

it would appear though that the moral of this story is that you get what you pay for in CA, unless you're talking about the water, which has its own special aftertaste.

Mr. Que and I hunkered over 18 inches of pig-based Subway goodness last night and it was definitely better than hot garbage. Plus I got my footlong for like $6.50 with a drink. Quizno's can eat shit.

(Subway was close to the theater showing blade runner and we were short on time)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

total ass ftw.

I heard that there is a Quiznos opening somewhere in the world every 7 minutes. I saw it on a franchise leaflet. Could this be true?

Whenever I see this thread revived, I think of Tim Dog singing it.

LOL!

There are two Quiznos restaurants within lunch driving distance of work. One is staffed by incompetent dullards, the other is competent! Pretty good sandwiches, although they retooled the menu recently and I have no idea what they still have.

Also, what's up with what seems to be a challenge to come up with more beef sandwiches? They have some cheesesteak thing, a peppercorn beef one, and a beef brisket (wtf) one now. All of which feature some combination of no veggies by default, or just some sauteed onions and mushrooms.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

NUMBER ONE

Thanks to this thread not only do I and several IRL friends now know what an Alabama Hot Pocket is, but it is a featured reference in our new ode to STDs "Teabaggin' (The Fire)". Thanks, I guess, ILX. For that.

I had a Quizno's Chicken Carbonara today. The bread was well-toasted, the bacon crispy, the chicken flavorful and the mozzarella was ok. $6.50ish with tax.

total ass 1

how???

you voted for it?

YES.

Also, what's up with what seems to be a challenge to come up with more beef sandwiches?

do u haet america

I'm just happy someone else voted for "your mom on a hot day"!

I had a Quizno's Chicken Carbonara today. The bread was well-toasted, the bacon crispy, the chicken flavorful and the mozzarella was ok. $6.50ish with tax.

-- milo z, Thursday, November 8, 2007 7:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

omg i came to this thread to post almost the exact same thing!

and I forgot to mention one of my favorite things about Quizno's in this thread, i love the brand of chips they stock (can't remember the name?), it's pretty much the only sandwich place that serves chips as a side where i don't feel ripped off about not being able to get fries or something else.

The only time I ever bought a quizno, I threw it out of the car window a minute later without even taking a bite. AND I was starving.

OMG I had a Quizno's this weekend - the turkey club torpedo. I ate half and it was nasty. Left it sitting on the table and the dog ate it. He threw it up half an hour later. Never again.

i like that classic italian torpedo or whatever. lots of oil and vinegar. roast beef is okay. i liked that chicken one with cilantro and peppers. i like that you can fill a plastic cup with pickles.

i think the problem you guys are having is with the smushy ones with creamy white sauce that saturates the bread and has kind of a sour milk flavor like cheap jarred alfredo sauce. it's like a papery plate of frozen pasta dumped over soft white bread.

The day I made the error of randomly popping in there and ordering a cheesesteak was the worst time I've ever spent with food, including the many times I have mistakenly ingested moldy blueberries or spoiled milk.