Okay so seriously, what would win in a fight, a silverback gorilla or a grizzly bear?

omg are you kidding? bear no question.

bear kills things for a living, silverback just eats plants.

http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/cattreesbear.jpg

Bear in the 1st.

ok i think the gorilla would really outmuscle the bear. more of a brute force thing. altho ^^^that would render the fight a draw i guess.

see these are the types of things that should be polls, not what the best song on the 7th david bowie album is.

It's not gonna come down to weight cos the bear's just gonna slice up the gorilla at the start.

A gorilla with Royce Gracie's brain could beat a grizzly bear though.

this makes me feel like I'm in 3rd grade again.

Noodle otmonkey - the bear is packing knives.

i think a bear would go for the stand up and swat technique whereas the gorilla would be more agressive and scrappy, maybe it would try and tackle and then pummel the bear or something, but i've never seen a picture of a gorilla fighting before (as opposed to a bear).

I've seen Gorillas fighting each other before and it was pretty epic.

i agree w/ dylan re: wrestling. this is where i think the gorilla has the advantage.

> A gorilla with Royce Gracie's brain could beat a grizzly bear though.

But what if the grizzly had Dan Inosanto's brain?

"Grizzly bears reach weights of 180–680 kilograms (400–1,500 pounds) and stand 2.44 m (8 ft) tall on its hind legs.; the male is on average 1.8 times as heavy as the female..." - Wiki

"Adult males range in height from 165-175 cm (5 ft 5 in – 5 ft 9 in), and in weight from 140–200 kg (310–440 lb)." Wiki on 'Silverback'

thank you michael

i cant believe you guys are arguing about this. bears are a) HUGE, b) have CLAWS and c) ARE PREDATORS

Gorillas fighting each other = display rituals = WWE

What about a silverback gorilla versus a hyena?

GORILLA

Gorillas are terrifying.

yeah but the gorilla would lure the bear across some leaves covering a carefully prepared trap or something

whoah i totally thought gorillas were bigger than that!

i was gonna drop bills on the gorilla :-/

this is like "who would win in a fight, bruce lee or mike tyson?"

Grizzly Bear vs. Bengal Tiger?

Bear still has the size advantage, but tigers might have the edge in speed and agility. And of course, claws and teeth on both sides.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1054/759037640_e6710bd38f.jpg vs http://assets4.pitchforkmedia.com/images/image/36008.grizzbig.jpg

bruce lee

The only way these two are fighting is if it's staged.

Their habitats are continents apart.

Their interspecies interactions usually preclude any fights with dangerous animals unless confronted.

Even if introduced to the same environment, they're not competitors for the same food.

Sonic Youth look kind of odd in that picture.

well duh, that's why max said it

xxpost

yes, the 150lb actor would beat the heavyweight boxer

MW, totally missing the point!

i mean, i guess the thing is HOW the gorilla would win. i fully expect it would be capable of fending off a bear attack, but if it's a fight to the death, then bear wins.

xp tiger ftw, don't be naive.

xpp don't be pedantic, m white, sheesh

dude, it is totally not about weight

xp

i dont know if youre being serious, but, uh, bruce lee is an actor and coreographer; mike tyson actually gets paid to hit people in the head

Ali vs. Tyson?

Ali.

Jordan, I know. I hate fun. :(

ali vs. tyson is basically one grizzly vs. another grizzly, booorrinnnggg

Challengers on the set

Bruce Lee's celebrity and martial arts prowess often put him on a collision course with a number of street thugs, stunt men and martial arts extras, all hoping to make a name for themselves. Lee typically defused such challenges without fighting, but felt forced to respond to several persistent individuals.

Bob Wall, USPK karate champion and co-star in Enter the Dragon, recalled a particularly serious encounter that transpired after a film extra kept taunting Lee. The extra yelled that Lee was "a movie star, not a martial artist", that he "wasn't much of a fighter" and said it was "easy to see his martial art wasn't any good." Lee answered his taunts by asking him to jump down from the wall he was sitting on. Wall described Lee's opponent as "a gang-banger type of guy from Hong Kong!," a "damned good martial artist," and observed that "He was fast, he was bigger than Bruce, and he was strong!" [17]

Wall would recall the confrontation in detail:

"This kid was good. He was no punk. He was strong and fast, and he was really trying to punch Bruce's brains in. But Bruce just methodically took him apart."[18]

"I mean Bruce kept moving so well, this kid couldn't touch him...Then all of a sudden, Bruce got him and rammed his ass into the wall and swept him, he proceeded to drop his knee into his opponent's chest, locked his arm out straight, and nailed him in the face repeatedly."[19]

After his victory, Lee gave his opponent lessons on how to improve his fighting skills. His opponent, now impressed, would later say to Lee, "You really are a master of the martial arts."

Max, I'm thinking perhaps you've never seen either man box. Or even perhaps have never seen any man box.

Filthy - now tell the story of Bruce Lee and Gene Labelle.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/flufsesshomaru/rtbh99sbeercavalryiw5.jpg

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max of all the 'actors' who play hardmen, you probably picked the worst one with which to make your point. bruce lee was tough as fucking nails.

JJ settles it.

But I do think that Mike Tyson in his prime could beat any other boxer at any time.

The whole idea leaves me a little verklemt, though, since gorillas and tigers are endangered and the very mascot of my state was wiped out before the 20th century had even started.

i mean, from all accounts he was a good fighter rather than just an actor, and he was seriously fast, and from some stuff i've read he had a really great understanding of how the body works, the physics of martial arts, etc.. if they were just standing there trading punches, sure, but boxing is a lot different from fighting?

xpost

I don't think Tyson would've laid much of a glove on Ali in his prime.

guys bruce lee was very good at what he did, i have no doubt. mike tyson is a boxer--he has spent his entire life taking punches from guys five times stronger than lee, staying alive round after round, and being faster than anyone his size has any right to be. i know how much we all love those disney movies that teach us that its not about being big, its being smart, but, uh, its about being big. sorry.

Don't discount Jackie Chan as a movie hardman - sure he has this image as a wacky, funny guy. And it's true! But he's also absolutely fearless and crazy as fuck. Willing to risk anything for a good shot (at least when he was younger and his bone cartelige was faster healing.)

xp - that's the thing though - Ali was big AND smart. That's why he'd do to Tyson what he did to Foreman.

I feel the same about Ali vs Tyson. People want to get behind Ali because he's intelligent and likable but Tyson was just a fucking machine.

http://www.klearconnect.com/fcgi-bin/image-scale.fcgi?i=1831&w=150&h=150

http://www.kidlink.org/gallery2/d/3285-2/elefante.jpg

everyone can read this amaze article abt how elphnts raep rinos and are generally just neurotic fuckups

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/08/magazine/08elephant.html?ex=1162094400&en=8e823134e605f346&ei=5070

elphnts raep rinos and are generally just neurotic fuckups

Nature's Mike Tyson

DOOD YOU SRSLY BANNED ME FROM ILC?

That's harsh.

lololololololololol

I had a mosquito jpeg all ready to go.

did you guys even see my polar bear?

cuz neither did the T-Rex...

?

Yeah I meant to say that is a beautiful cartoon Kerm.

ok this thread

Thanks, Nood.

http://www.klearconnect.com/fcgi-bin/image-scale.fcgi?i=1831&w=150&h=150

elpanht is holding pred siihp?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzz/Drunk_Elephants

A grizzly bear deliberately walked over to where I was standing near its cage and farted at me, then walked away. I don't know if a gorilla fart could possible be worse.

Seriously.

I don't know how I missed this thread but I've got every pro Mike Tyson fight on video and a fair number of his amateur bouts too. Nothing but respect for Tyson in his prime - he didn't have much going defensively, but he didn't need to. His lateral movement was straight poetry, and his combos were hardly even combos - more like one move containing several punches, all of them haymakers. His from-downtown uppercut, the iconic one, looks better than it lands most of the time, but the same can't be said of his right cross, and whether you want to call the short crossing finish-him-off punch that follows a jab or a short cross, well, that one was incredible too. Watching these fights en route to the unified title feels like being in the presence of a single idea beautifully executed; I don't think history will remember him as one of the greats, because it only took a few people who weren't terrified to punch back to expose his weaknesses - he forgot his training once flustered, and the whole point of Tyson as a boxer was the execution of a brutal, effective plan.

It would have taken Bruce Lee approximately five minutes to take him apart.

in re: thread question, grizzly bear

Alright, so....

Julia Child, in her prime, v. Rachel Ray.

It would have taken Bruce Lee approximately five minutes to take him apart.

I think I buy this. Although Tyson was fast, he was especially fast for his weight class. You don't get heavyweight fighters that had that kind of speed. So, a good deal of the HOLY SHIT factor was that he fought larger, slower dudes. Still a bad muhfucker in his prime, though.

And I think that JOhn D. brings up an EXCELLENT point - Tyson was ALL offense. He was not a technical boxer AT ALL. Buster Douglas was the first to expose him via the use of a good jab, and then it was all she wrote. Bruce Lee wouldn't be able to take a Tyson uppercut, but he wouldn't stand in the same place for long enough.

Bruce Lee in a pick-apart, wear-him-down style win.

there's only one way to settle this...

the bear. sharper claws, bigger body mass.

that's if the gorilla actually stayed to fight. gorillas are smarter than a bear and could easily tear a human apart but generally they aren't aggressive. grizzlies are known to be pretty vicious when they want to be, taking on polar bears and the like.

now, a king kong sized gorilla would pwn the shit out of grizzly.

im not going to get into this again, but i would like to point out that i have been otm on this thread

and my assertion that tyson would beat lee isnt based on a huge respect for tyson as a fighter, just that i think people vastly overestimate bruce lee's abilities as a fighter and its impossible to separate what he was actually capable of from the mounds of urban legend BS that have grown up around him

obviously urban legend bruce lee who knows 600 'death grips' and did pushups without touching the ground and could lift two horses with one finger and had a dick the size of a pringles tube and killed chuck norris could beat bruce lee, i just dont think he exists

uh, could beat mike tyson

A grizzly would fuck up Mike Tyson, Julia Child, Bruce Lee, a silverback and another grizzly.

It all comes down to armaments. The bear would have an F-16, and the gorilla would have a Mig.

max you're not otm is the thing. it has nothing to do with urban legends - death grips, all that. that's just stuff people say to be funny. it has to do with hand speed and conditioning. it has to do with his having been a boxing champion in '58 prior to even beginning his martial arts training. he's just a more complete offensive & defensive fighting package than Tyson. if you're gonna make him lace up and have them fight a Nevada Boxing Commission 12-rounder, OK fine, Tyson would win if he could get a punch in. but Tyson's only weapon is a punch which he has to land for it to be effective, and Lee's defensive skills are such that he could afford to fight inside (=staying in close) without getting hit. he would land blows on Tyson without having to take any, or many, in return, and while Lee's blows won't kill a man instantly, about ten or twenty of them to the temple will knock the same man out.

by the same criterion, Lee could probably not have beaten young Muhammad Ali or Clay before the name change, because, again, you have to hit a guy to beat him.

I know what i'd vote for!
http://klb.uwstout.edu/GorillaYawning01_2.gif @ http://www.wildnatureimages.com/images%202/050612-100..jpg

john d squarely otm, but he's forgetting the samurai ghost that ate bruce lee's dad- that would probably put bruce off long enough for tyson to rip his head off

John D otm in re: Tyson. Everybody and his kid sister have been otm about the grizz over the gorilla.

Mike Tyson would have like 4 inches and at least 75 pounds on Bruce Lee! There are lots of people, historical and contemporary, and that could beat Mike Tyson in a fight (even in his prime), but not Bruce Lee.

> you have to hit a guy to beat him.

NOT SO! You can grab him and drop him on his head (see Quinton Jackson/Chang Sheng Tung/Masahiko Kimura) you can choke him or twist his arm or leg till they break (various Gracies and Machados/the aforementioned Kimura/Farmer John Burns) and so on.

dan i in a straight up boxing match, yr probably right, but im under the impression this is about balls-to-the-wall kill-or-be-killed kinda shit, in which case, my money is squarely on lee, & i give him well under 5 mins

straight boxers are bad in mixed martial arts stuff cuz they haven't ever trained to defend their legs

on the other hand, combat sports have weight classes for a reason

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/102/300077799_69e6e70436.jpg?v=0

seriously the best thread ever

OTM.

I may be flattering myself, but I do think that my hummingbird vs. seahorse challenge is an important part of this thread's (indisputable) excellence.

maybe your urban legend hummingbirds that flap their wings at thousands of miles an hour and shit

of course, urban legend mike tyson punched a guy without having gloves/wrists strapped a couple of years ago in a street brawl and broke most of his fingers.

I love this thread apart from the shame that my sole contribution was googling rhino ass to justify rapist elephants.

don't be, it's one of the high points.

im not going to get into this again, but i would like to point out that i have been otm on this thread

― max, Monday, April 28, 2008 11:21 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark

RONG RONG RONG

like i actually just re-read this whole thing and got for real ANGRY reading that garbage

^^^totally forgot about how rad this shit is