Thanksgiving - dos and don'ts

I have no access to free turducken.

Are there, like, Thanksgiving phrases? I should use?

too? many? questions? have led to a glut of ? marks

all the americans are asleep or out partying - revive tomorrow!

i'm just back from partying, and there really isn't anything to say other than enjoy your meal. since you'll be in arlington, i would guess there'll be football (american) on the tv, pretend you care. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since it tends to be a lot less intense than xmas and really only involves eating. bad family dynamics can be a problem, but booze will often smooth that over, if it doesn't facilitate manslaughter.

There's no particular Thanksgiving etiquette. Eat well and compliment the cooks.

No booze will be in evidence :-(

Best take some then (even if it's hidden in a bag or something and you have to go to the loo to take a swig)

If anyone found me sneaking booze it'd be a baaaad 'first impression on parents' thing. I think they'd rather have me drink my own solitary wine, all alone, which would be even worse. I could have a quadruble dose of Rescue Remedy.

quadruble = quadruple when on Rescue Remedy.

Are they teetotal or is it a dry county? At least it means you can't make a fool of yourself, which I'd probably manage.

So - are you and English girl with an American boyfriend? That's almost unheard of!

Though why I think your user name is female I don't know.

this may be tricky - you are required to relax. in some american households, the observation of thanksgiving requires the televised spectation of something called "football."

They're teetotal. Southern Baptists, though not of the most conservative bent. Yeah, I'm an English girl with an American boyfriend (if you can call a 40-year-old your boyfriend):

Partner, pardner?

Really, is UK g/f, US b/f almost unheard of? why?

Taste everything, say "this is delicious" oftener than strictly necessary. Offer to help with the clean up (this can get you away from the TV football sometimes). Play "pilgrims & indians" with the little children outside when everyone else is napping in front of the TV. Have them lie around the yard as if they were starving, then teach them to bury a sardine next to every piece of popcorn they plant.

ahem, and if you can call a 35 year old a girl. Meeting-parents scenario still as awful as ever.

Gabbneb, please give me a killer phrase I can use to sound knowledgeable about said 'football', or a cute phrase to use that will show I am adorably trying.

Oh Jaq, I am completely lost. I know that I know sod all about US history, but please to explain the sardine symbolism...

supposedly, when the Pilgrims were starving after their first winter trying to live off hardtack, Squanto (a native American who had learned english) helped them by teaching them about corn (maize), like that people <i>could</i> eat it. And that for it grow best, you planted 3 kernels in a mound with a small fish (which acted as a fertilizer).

hrmph. "could" emphasized because they all thought it was only for hog feed and not fit for humans.

Cool. I hope there will be some small children, as I quite fancy doing this.

I hear in Texas they carve their turkeys with handguns. YEEAHAWWWWWW RIDE EM COW BOY

I should bring a small pocketknife of the kind used by British schoolboys of the fifties and say that I would love to carve in the traditional British manner. An hour later, the smiles would still be frozen on everyone's faces.

Turkey is one of the worst meat or meat-like substances on earth. If you're British I'm sure you'll do just fine.

The British girl + American boy thing - I'm not sure anyone's put a finger on it but on ILE (and on Sinister before it) it has almost ALWAYS been British boy + American girl. At one point I counted twelve of the latter and zero of the former. Weird huh?

My old girlfriend from the start of the decade was Scottish...

Since you are going to the Dallas area, what to do about the obligatory football game is easier. Every year on Thanksgiving the Dallas Cowboys play at home. This year it's against the New York Jets. So to fit in well, be ready to speak positively of the Dallas Cowboys, and if you can manage it, against the Jets, or against New York more generally. Seriously, this is an easy assignment, because all you have to do is eat, smile, cheer for the Cowboys, and (optionally) bash New York.

Damn Ne wYorkers. Call those Northeastern liberals a bunch of tea drinking sissies, and you'll win many a Texan heart.

Burt Stanton speaks the truth

Really, Thanksgiving is one of the most laid-back American holidays. There are no flags to wave, presents to open, shit getting blown up, and you don't have to stay up until midnight. You just eat a big meal and then settle in on the couch to watch football.

If you want to surprise your hosts during the game, memorize this phrase: "I've noticed that since David Lee left for Arkansas, Tony Romo has gotten much better with his passing. Patrick Crayton needs to start catching more of those passes, though."

Committed to memory.
My b/f is a tea drinking sissy himself of course, having spent 7 years in the UK.

What do y'all do for Thanksgiving? I mean, who do you spend it with?

The entire extended family, ALWAYS, at the home of whomever offers to host. And no one at my house watches football, it would be considered weird and boring and everyone would leave the room and go back where there was a fire in the fire place and other people to talk to who weren't focused on the box with moving pictures. Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine as I HATE American football and my fam has luckily never thought it was part of family time.

There are usually kids and dogs running around, and sometimes people go for a walk in the cold either to work up an appetite or to ward off the post-turkey somnolence. A few cigarettes will be snuck outside, and then you return to cups of coffee and picking at the cookie trays. It's genius.

The entire extended family, ALWAYS, at the home of whomever offers to host.

Yeah, pretty much. I skip out each year for a couple of reasons -- I'd rather avoid the travel hassles, since I'm the only one down in SoCal, and I see everyone at Xmas anyway (this year I'm seeing a good chunk of 'em in early December too for my dad's birthday). Plus covering the open day we have at the library on the Friday means I get out of working other holiday shifts the rest of the year, which is handy. So my surrogate family is good friend Stripey's, who I've been to Thanksgiving with now for about...ten years? Something like that.

Oh right. I haven't been home for Tgiving in a long time, cos I can't afford to do in Nov and again for Christmas...but usu I go to someone else's family day and someone from my fam calls me and they pass the phone around. It's all very FAMILY-FIED.

My tradition is not to attend my family's Thanksgiving, mostly because it's at my sister's house, and she is an evangelical terror who long ago turned Thanksgiving into a more religious event than it ever had been in my family (despite my father having been a clergyman and all).

What do y'all do for Thanksgiving? I mean, who do you spend it with?

http://centerstage.net/photoarchive/6596.jpg

old style on tap is only $1.25 on thursday's at helen's two way lounge.

That, Chicago Kevin, is where I would like to drop in during one of Laurel's walks.

I really like the idea of gatecrashing a close friend's Christmas. I should have got organised enough to do it this year. Instead my b/f is coming here to my family's Xmas. I am seriously dreading this.

helen's is also open 365 days a year so i'll probably be there for xmas as well.

Allow me to paint a picture: Helen's is what would happen if you dropped Carol's into Logan Square, upped the grit factor, added in a bunch of untrusting looks when you walk through the door, lowered the prices on Old Style and sucked all the fun out of the karaoke night.

"Two Way" refers to the bar's two entrances—one on Fullerton and one on Milwaukee, but the "lounge" reference is beyond me. If you ask me, I'd call it "Helen's Two Inn." (Get it?) But moving on, this is a grizzled, old-timers spot for sure: The night I dropped in, everyone was on a first-name basis (except for me), and a dog wandered in and out of stool-legs before clunking down beneath the pool table. There's even a stage should any aspiring musicians want to share a tiny amount of floor space.

Frosty drafts (accent on frosty—the mugs are nice and cold) of Old Style will set you back a grand total of $1.25, knocked back to a buck on Mondays and Thursdays. In true Chicago roadhouse tradition, if you want something else on draft, you better hike down to Quenchers—it's Old Style, and only Old Style, in here. If you're looking to get all fancy-pants, turn to the three boxes of Franzia wine sitting behind the counter.

I live in a college town far away from my parents and wife's parents, but I have a pretty big family of my own now and so we just have a big bash either at my house or at a friend's here. I try to invite students who have nowhere else to go for the day because they live too far away, but now that I work at a state school there's not many of those. We spend the whole day cooking---the last two years I've smoked two turkeys, and plan on doing so again this year. Then we eat, talk with friends, and crash. It's the best holiday of the year.

My maternal family doesn't turn on football either. Mom watches the entirety of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, and then they watch DVDs after dinner.

They're different.

Smoked turkey! That sounds better than any turkey I've ever had.

who do we spend it with? Generally, just immediate family, though there's none of mine in the area so it's all Mr. Jaq's. Last year, we had ILXor friends over for the day after (tons of leftovers), and that was THE BEST. I'd much prefer cooking for a houseful of friends. We aren't sporty types (and don't watch TV really), so no football for us.

Here's the Thanksgiving Timetable thread from ILCooking, so you'll have an idea of the sorts of food to expect.

I promise you that smoked turkey is better than any turkey you've ever had.

i dunno, i still prefer smoking cigarettes.

Undoubtedly the best option.

The smoked turkey is incredible. It's hard to compare with smoking a cigarette...it certainly takes longer...

Urk. Just searched Thanksgiving and there are so many threads already. Sorry folks - I should have tagged onto one of those. Thanks for the link Jaq. I will eat nothing but veg, fruit for a week in preparation.

The worst thing is, I intended to write his mom a nice note, because, you know, I was there for days and days and that DOES warrant a note. But now it'll look forced :-(

i have never suffered through anything like this when visiting the states, it sounds awful.

Awww it's already a better than average rom-com holiday movie, I can't wait for the sequel. The church thing I can't help you with, tho, yr bf is going to have to negotiate that one.

Someone is eventually going to have to speak up to someone re the formality, I suspect. I suggest planting your feet and crossing your arms and saying firmly but kindly "NOW DON'T YOU TREAT ME LIKE COMPANY. Give me those dishes, I'd LOVE to have something to do, I'm just at loose ends...was the strawberry jam a personal recipe?" etc. Repeat as needed.

Can I bring out my Texas hate, or should I allow this thread to just keep simmering?

http://www.cmt.com/asm/texas_tourism/2007/img/texas_nav_home.gif

Lovey lovey, I should take my own advice more often, I know, but nothing that flows from your own good nature and sense of the appropriate will seem forced! Do exactly what you do with a little extra warmth -- just in case these people end up related to you in future....

PP - go ahead, I should hear the worst now! Though my Abilene experience was actually good. The theologians we hung out with were actually much more sensitive about dealing with atheists. And it was genuinely welcoming rather than in-yer-face welcoming. There's, er, one good museum. And one coffee shop, and one good sandwich place, and, er... the Frontier Texas museum.

Yeah, I did try the 'personal recipe' things and so on, and they worked, but only for about 5 seconds...

Oh but now I feel like I'm exaggerating about the awfulness. I mean, we did smile at each other and stuff and she might have really liked me, it's just that if she did, I couldn't tell...

These parents are from an alternate-universe Arlington. There are only about three restaurants in the city where the majority of guests WOULDN'T be wearing jeans. (excluding Luby's, where they'd be wearing old-person pants)

Hey, Texas. Feel free to declare your independence from the rest of the country whenever you feel like it. We're kinda tired of you being America's Butt Plug anyways.

-- Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, March 2, 2004 11:22 AM (Tuesday, March 2, 2004 11:22 AM) Bookmark Link

Dallas is nothing but freeways and Applebee's and BestBuys and La Quintas. Their biggest tourist attraction is a knoll of grass and a mall with a skating rink in it. The only "artsy" area is Deep Ellum, filled with bars that serve watered down Lone Star beer for people wanting to see some side project of Tripping Daisy.

The worst thing about Texas is how they puff out their fundamentalist Republican chests and strut about thinking that they live in God's Great Paradise, all the while admonishing the rest of us to Not Mess with Them. You could set fire to the state tomorrow and it'd still look the same.

A Texan calling someone else an asshole. That'd be like an asshole calling someone else a Texan.

-- Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, March 2, 2004 1:07 PM (Tuesday, March 2, 2004 1:07 PM) Bookmark Link

I've kinda cooled my jets since then, but I still hate Texas.

Miss Misery to the defence?

I'm off out now to eat a staid meal with a friend of my Dad's who I've never met who lives here, and who is from Texas (coincidence), and who I foolishly volunteered to eat a meal with. Though I think it will be a very nice meal, I only want to eat a sandwich in bed and get crumbs all over the bed. When I get home I'm going to kick back and slouch solidly for a month, even at work.

even Deep Ellum is well and truly fucked these days

Heh, it was Ms. Misery's thread that I went off in.

She and I have come to an understanding.

and not that I'd ever defend Dallas, but Arkansas-on-Texas hatred is amusingly one-sided. We barely pretend that Oklahoma exists.

dallas is awful

also the no jeans thing is baffling me

I would imagine that Abilene is a lot more relevant than Arlington in this case. Sounds like you're dealing with some uptight traditionalist types who are probably freaked out by fears of their kid getting corrupted by his furrin gf.

Can someone explain what, uh, "Mexican train" is?

Can someone explain what, uh, "Mexican train" is?

SRSLY.

sounds vaguely naughty?

speaking of southern hospitality.

Police on the look out for cross dressed crooks

Updated: Nov 25, 2007 11:49 PM

There's a search going on for three cross dressing crooks. Three-men dressed as women caused a commotion and started a fight at a fast food restaurant in the 3600 block of South Mendenhall.

It was definitely not business as usual at a local McDonald's Sunday night. Martez Brisco was working the drive-thru when a car full of angry transvestites pulled up to his window.

"Men trying to look like women, drag queens, transvestites is what they were," says Brisco.

There was an argument at the window and that's when things started to get a little strange.

"They come to the window, tap, tap, tap. I'm still ignoring them. I guess that just pissed them off worser," adds Brisco.

Three drag queens jumped out of the car, ran into the restaurant armed with a tire iron and started swinging at employees. But not before they disrobed kicking off their stiletto boots, hoop earrings, and jackets.

"They just decided they wanted to start a fight with the crew at McDonald's here. They began to get ready to fight taking clothing off to fight," says Lt. Trevor Tisby with Memphis Police Department.

Brisco adds, "He swung and hit my manager, manager swung and hit back, so they step back, get to takin' off they shoes, boots and whatever else they had to do to get satisfied to fight."

Albert Bolton has bandaids covering scratches where one of the drag queens mauled him with his fingernails. "I was fightin with 'em trying to protect him and he scratched me," says Bolton.

About that time, the manager grabbed a pot of hot french fry grease and launched it at them. One of the drag queens retaliated smacking the manager in the head with a wet floor sign sending him away in an ambulance.

Before they drove off, they smashed in the drive-thru window.

Police are working on a more detailed description of the transvestites. They're looking for a black car and three men dressed as women.

fuck, you can't make this shit up.

that would piss me off worser too, though.

x-post re: Mexican Trains.

It's a tile game, kind of like Dominoes. (Couldn't think of anything vile.)

I have never felt so entirely directionless as standing in their kitchen, having laid the table and helped with the salad, not being asked to help with anything else but not being told emphatically to sit down and not help any more.

GAH that is the awkwardest thing in the world, isn't it? You'd think some cooks were writing their dissertation, they're so demanding of being alone. (Maybe bcz they are easily angered by distractions (understandable when the distractions are 7 prepubescent children but not one adult!), but more likely some weird combination of pride/perceived politeness, "wouldn't want to make our guest work.") In this situation I just do it without asking! Hahaha I am setting table for you try and deny me this!

Plus, like a wide variety of people, old people can be nutty, esp. about formalities going away. I wouldn't worry that a thank you card to b/f's mom would seem forced. No one is ever, ever offended or critical of a guest's thank you note. Some people write thank you notes, most don't, but everyone loves getting one! A good 3-5 handwritten sentences of what you appreciated in particular is perfect. (Miss Manners is SCANDALIZED by thank you cards but I don't think Alibeners would be.)

The jeans thing sounds less like a cultural thing and more like a weirdly anal/fussy mom, mine is odd in that way "oh you cant wear JEANS, we're going OUT!". Like it is an affront to her feelings you haven't made an effort or some shit.

(O I am assuming the mom wanted that but I could be wrong sorry)

I thought Mexican trains was racing a train to get to the crossing. But I couldn't figure out how in the hell anyone hit 12 in a few days.

That is what I thought, my mom was always like "you can't go out like that in public!" ie t-shirt/jeans to church activities where the other kids all wore t-shirt/jeans.

Moms are funny people!

xp

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/4791/shotinmemphis1he8.jpg

And she is only six years old!

I wish my Texarkanan girlfriend was still on ILE to offer a casting vote on the "is Texas crappy" question.

Heh, the Mexican Train dominoes game was the least naughty thing I've done in many a long while. It was during Mexican Train that three of the four ex-girlfriend-callings happened. Maybe she was a pro.

Yeah, the jeans thing, you're probably right Tracye and Abbott - it was a pushy mom thing.

Gabbneb, Abilene was really relaxed by comparison. He has no family there, just his job.

I did score one spectacular goal with a box of English Violet Creams (thank you Gatwick Harrods).

Which side was she from, Mark?

That sounds like a painful Thanksgiving, but it yielded great posts, ljub.

Highlight of mine: at dinner, finally asking my Grandma, 90, about her weed smoking. (I brought up a memory of her passing a *cigarette* at a party) Apparently she kept her stash in the freezer in a Maxwell House can.

first thanksgiving without our dog :/

also the story about how she used trickery to get three racist officers at the recruiting office where she was working shipped off to the war.

i've never written a thank you note for someone taking me out for a meal, let alone soup. i can imagine it in a work-interview situation, but not in your case. i send notes for gifts and when someone cooks for us. yeah, i think the mom was a bit weird, we're not all like that!

It was during Mexican Train that three of the four ex-girlfriend-callings happened. Maybe she was a pro.

if she was a pro i'm not sure girlfriend is the correct term.

PP, she's from the right side :)

Washington, however, rocks (or the little I've seen of it).
If only I didn't detest my job and the meetings that go along with it, it would rock even more.
Mind you, it might just seem to rock after the Arlington experience.

I am thankful. That I do not have to go through the Arlington Baptist Version again this year. But hope the US ILXors have good plans?

Hooray!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html?em

Holy crap, the puppy.

This year it's a Maryland thanksgiving with mostly Britishers and one Tennesseean.

I made a rule for my Thanksgiving this year that if you're at my house before dinner you get to drink Bloody Maries!

DO: eat until you fall asleep in a chair.

DON'T: drink until you feel comfortable enough to talk.

Revive to remind myself that no matter how awkward this year's traditional awkward US thanksgiving might end up being, no-one's gonna be playing Mexican Train and calling me Susan.

Are there, like, Thanksgiving phrases? I should use?

― ljubljana, Sunday, November 11, 2007 4:02 AM Bookmark

I <3 this post

My first Thanksgiving, the food was put on the table and being my polite self I waited for everyone to sit down. My sister in law said "Don't wait...get your food now or you'll starve". Thank God she said that. She was right, it was pretty much a free for all.

Following year I cooked Christmas dinner, and I was busy cutting up the second chicken. They had loaded up their plates and were already eating when I sat down. I gave a pointed, slightly irritated "wow thanks for waiting"...ever since then, everyone waits. :)