Favorite Sexual Terms

COCK BATTLECHEST

HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC – NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY

SUDDENLY I DON'T NEED THE ANSWERS

I feel like a pantomime actor. "What's that?" "He's behind you!!!" "Sorry?" "HE'S BEHIND YOU!!!!" *poppage*

what the fuck is a cock battlechest? a board game?

One JUGGLING and wearing ROLLERSKATES?

xp

It is better than a boardgame.

Xanadu sex.

what does that one mean? xtreme detail as promised plz

if ILX was a circus, I'd be wearing nothing more than a dismal codpiece and a skimpy dress, performing sordid acts of embarrassment before a half-cackling, half-cowering audience.

having sex with a poster of Olivia Newton john.....sometimes swords are involved

You don't have to play that role, LJ! Fold your freak flag up. I promise to envision you as LJ tabula rasa, you fill in the blankness.

And I don't see how a codpiece could be "dismal," given its intended purpose.

Not that I'm a fan of them, mind.

frottage

it sounds like a dessert

Dirty Sanchez

Nude Spock

SQUICKING

Ok, please describe the last two!

montreal screwjob

lol w4lter

see you guys soon!

I quite like the idealism behind "LJ tabula rasa". Sadly, I don't ever see it happening.

you're not the only one who still thinks louis is creepy

-- electricsound, Monday, 12 November 2007 22:43 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

But this is by-the-by.

Genuine answer to thread: Dutch blindfold

Dued I meant on a personal level...I can only do what I can do and I cannot for others, yessir

i must be really naive because i have not heard of most of these terms

plz explain

My favorite:

Missionary position

because you can show up at friends' doors and say "We're the missionaries...we're here to tell you about our position."

Plus it is totally silly, like way sillier than Cleveland steamer.

tho Rubyredd otm: re: frottage, teehee it's so precious

xxpost: Cool! Well, yeah, I r clean slate. In a dress. Hope that gives the right impression...

Rubyredd, a Dutch blindfold is when the lady is blindfolded by the gentleman's scrotum during a vigorous session of mutual oral pleasuring.

plz explain

Cleveland Steamer--having your partner take a shit on your chest during sex, essentially

Hot Carl--Similar, except the partner shits on top of your mouth, with only cellophone protecting your mouth from the fecal matter

Felching--Sucking semen out of someone's asshole

Dirty sanchez--sticking a finger in someone's asshole and giving them a shit mustache

Um....this really says a lot about me unfortunately :(

and it sounds socially acceptable:

'pardon me, but would you consent to engaging in some mild frottage with me?'

don't let it get you down louis. many of the posters i dislike/am creeped out by seem to be liked by many

thank you

i feel like i've just learned some very important things

i'm cool with ppl having unusual sexual fetishes, but pooh fetishes really baffle me

This thread is perhaps not ideal for dispelling accusations of creepiness, I can appreciate that.

Donkey punch: when the gentleman punches his lady hard on the back of the head during doggy-style, thus creating a sudden and perhaps pleasurable constriction in her nether orifices.

oh louis that's kinda horrendous

what's sad is that all of these positions/techniques have Wikipedia articles

Snowballing: the gentleman sprays his juice across a lady's torso, licks it up, and then kisses her.

The donkey punching one IS horrendous, and I only recounted it to provide a cruel juxtaposition with the first part of my post. I wouldn't dream of trying it out. Snowballing, OTOH...

i always thought the pasadena mudslide had an hilarious name but i'm sure it would not be fun in reality

golden showers...self explanatory

Carl now comes across as an unusually considerate guy.

i think he's mixing up a hot carl and a packed lunch

hot carl is ATM no?

no, i think that's just a bank machine.

that reminds me of this picture i saw of a girl i vaguely know that said "i go pamito"

http://www.turdwords.com/viewWord.cfm?wordID=379

wearing a t-shirt that said

(wtf is up with my typing today??)

xpost

I thought snowballing was when the woman gets a mouthful at conclusion of blowjob and then passes it back to him in a kiss. Same basic concept.

I don't think donkey punching is real, or that anyone does dirty sanchezes, or jibbing. They seem to me

Okay for real Harry Chapin of all people has a poem about how his first sexual experience was a girl shitting on his chest when he was 17. It's called "Baptism," from his collection "Looking and Seeing."

Like from that site, there is no way this could have even been done:

Panda Bear Noun
Panda Bear Definition Definition 1: When you punch a girl in both eyes, giving her black eyes, and then semening on her face.

oh yeah, i almost forgot 'cat in the cradle'.

I meant to say earlier these terms seem made up by young boys in a gross-out contest and "made real" due to internet usage (and TV, Jon Stewart reffing a dirty sanchez wtf!).

abbott, if someone's thought of it, someone's probably done it

who spelt it, dealt it

Cant Definition 1: A Cunt you Can't get into.
Cant Example Usage Usage Example: "Don't even waste your time with Delores...chick's got a Cant! I heard she just signed up to be a nun and shit."

I was under the impression that CANT was "whining or singsong speech, esp. of beggars."

Oh come on rubyredd I made up "fisting an infant" in a sex act gross-out contest and I promise I have never done that! And I will bet you 5 euros no-one has.

the sad and horrendous thing is that someone probably has done that.

Buh. Whatevs. Okay, take "panda bear," even if you punched the girl "in both eyes," it would take at least a few hours for shiners to develop before one could start "semening in her face."

Nobody is going to explain how to do the Nude Spock, are they?

nobody here wants to do nude spock

Can your pussy do the dog?

No, it cannot.

before anyone gets all nspca about it, bert and the pigeon are platonic as triangles.

Danza Slap ftw.