Defend the Indefensible: Edward Burns

OMG I HATE HIM BLESS YOU FOR STARTING THIS THREAD I THOUGHT I WAS ALL ALONE! CHRISTY TURLINGTON, WHYYYYYYYEEEEEE?

sorry I guess that wasn't really a defense. obv he has excellent taste in women.

he is indefensible. lock thread.

Have hated since McMullenz. No defense, except for maybe he is good-looking?

wow, that trailer has a lot of stutter lines.

"h-he-e says he m-misses me and he- made a mistake"

acting.

the thing about the maybe goodlooking is it's cancelled out by the awful voice.

also not that fucking goodlooking.

better-looking than his wife. better-dressed too.

who are you?

b-b-but gabbneb

"After High school, Burns attended SUNY Oneonta, and SUNY Albany, before receiving a degree in English from Hunter College in 1992."

so he's about as smart as Woody Allen

I saw him outside the play FAT PIG, he didn't look very approachable. his movies are pretty self-obsessed and lame.

ARGH PEOPLE NEED TO STOP COMPARING HIM TO WOODY ALLEN. THEY DON'T BELONG IN THE SAME SENTENCE. GAHHHH THE 90'S SO MUCH TO ANSWER FOR.

anyone who thinks ed burns is better-looking than christy turlington should not be allowed to have eyes

ilu max!

h8 him

she does absolutely nothing for me

"ask me if i care, peasant."

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:xXuvHJLgKHzR-M:http://images.askmen.com/galleries/model/christy-turlington/pictures/christy-turlington-picture-1.jpg

"i'm busy saving africa, moran, what the hell have you done!"

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://justinsomnia.org/images/christy-turlington-product-red-gap-ad.jpg&usg=AFQjCNFdMxWs9zMuu9AuiQ9A34Om7ndiIQ

cheekbones!

boobs!

cheeks!

http://m1.dotspotter.com/media/0/21/11/MR_15894pcn_Christy01.jpg

ridiculous lips

helen hunt is the greatest being of all time. after jodie foster.
-- gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 21 July 2006 00:57

the cinema equivalent of third eye blind's "this is the story of a girl," only bad.

Actor-filmmaker Edward Burns is eschewing a traditional theatrical debut for his new film in favour of releasing Purple Violets via Apple's iTunes online store.

"My style of filmmaking is dying on the vine. These small, talky movies have a hard time finding an audience theatrically, so you need to adapt," Burns, who wrote and directed the film, announced this week.

"There are still people who want to see this non-traditional type of film, and now there are non-traditional ways to get them out there."

Purple Violets stars Selma Blair, Debra Messing, Patrick Wilson and Burns, also the director of such indie movies as The Brothers McMullen and She's the One.

The filmmaker said that regardless of the positive reviews his $4-million US film drew at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City, it still met with poor distribution offers, thus prompting his decision to debut his film online.

A statement from Apple called it the first movie to "premiere exclusively on iTunes." The film will be available to U.S. buyers for $14.99 US as of Nov. 20.

"My style of filmmaking is dying on the vine."

not fast enough

helen hunt is the greatest being of all time. after jodie foster.
-- gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 21 July 2006 00:57

-- gershy, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 2:16 AM (Wednesday, November 14, 2007 2:16 AM) Bookmark Link

ew

huh?

Dock Walloper, Issue #1
Created by Ed Burns
Written by Ed Burns & Jimmy Palmiotti
Script by Jimmy Palmiotti
Art & Cover by Siju Thomas

New York City: It's the roaring 20s and America's great metropolis has become the nexus of high society culture, cutting edge industry and perhaps the most shocking crime wave in our country's history. Known for its sinister and treacherous underworld, there's a new power waking up the city that never sleeps. It's name... John "The Hand" Smith.

The Nickname is a given. An outcast and an orphan, Smith's massive right hand is nearly twice as large as his left, and when push comes to shove, you'd pity anyone that's gets in his way. Smith's only friends in the world are a fellow orphan and low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy, and a Asian femme fatale known as Ring-a-Ling. In a world of crime, passion, and a touch of the fantastic, they will attempt to change organized crime... or die trying.

From two of New York's favorite sons, independent director Edward Burns (Brothers McMullen, Saving Private Ryan) and comics' legend Jimmy Palmiotti (Painkiller Jane, Monolith).

http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=12511

Smith's massive right hand is nearly twice as large as his left

Boxing the clown's graphic impact revealed.

In March of 2009, The Lynch Pin, a series of shorts starring, written and directed by Burns were released via the internet. The ten episodes are only available to view online as of August 2009 and future plans for the project are unknown.
http://www.goldenharp.net/

Hahaha horseshoe I opened this thread specifically to read what sort of vitriol you might have thrown Mr. Burns' way. You did not disappoint.

<3

You mentioned tent-pole films, the big summer blockbusters and extravaganzas, considering the kind of films that you make now, do you ever see yourself maybe 10 or 15 years down the road actually making a film with a $250 million budget and all these whiz bang special effects?

Edward Burns: You know, I really don't. I have one script that we tried to get made a couple of years ago that was a sort of big period film set in turn-of-the century New York City. That's something where I would have needed a lot of CGI but not the kind of effects that you would need if you're going to be making an Iron Man 2 per se. I love those movies; I go to see a fair amount of them, but it was never - some guys write symphonies, some guys write folk songs. I think I write folk songs.

shitty folk songs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBT00dP43_k

tom

Burns picks one of his own films? What a dildo.
December 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm | Reply

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/12/15/55-edward-burns/?hpt=C2

Sure, she can be a little overbearing sometimes, but baby-faced Johnny Rizzo loves his fiancée Claire, and he made her a promise: by the time he's 25-years-old, he'll trade his current dream job as a local sports talk radio host (even if it is the 2 a.m. slot) for something that'll pay bigger bucks. And Johnny's nothing, if not a man of his word. Now he's flying to New York to interview for some snoozeville job that Claire's well-to-do father set up. Enter Uncle Terry, who lives in New York, a rascally womanizer bent on turning a day in the Hamptons into a final fling for his nephew. Nice guy Johnny's not interested, of course, but then he meets the lovely Brooke.... A master of the modern relationship dramedy, Edward Burns is once again in top form as a writer, director, and actor. His swaggering bartender Terry is the perfect foil to baby-faced Matt Bush's (Adventureland) Johnny, and together they're great at trading Burns' characteristically sharp dialogue. More contrasts are mined with Anna Wood's image-conscious Claire and Kerry Bische's (Scrubs) Brooke, a blonde-haired and bright-eyed free spirit. Burns wraps a summery tone around Johnny's real crisis: follow through with your promises, or follow your heart?

attention horseshoe et al

i have terrible news

http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp201/sharonjoy666/burns-1.jpg

Reassuring to know that his new movie looks as abysmal as the rest of his product

http://www.fastcodesign.com/multisite_files/codesign/imagecache/inline-large/post-inline/tumblr_li5uszybM11qe0eclo1_r3_500.gif

omg could a person be more pretentious and dumb. "inspiration strikes on the subway." i'll strike you!

because brothers mcmullen was clearly crying out for a resolution by way of a sequel

let me guess, there's another brother

he's a malformed conjoined fetus attached to the back of Ed Burns' head

third brother turns out to be the demon specter of a vestigial twin inside ed burn's skull ala

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8e/Darkhalf.jpg/200px-Darkhalf.jpg

except this time the demon specter twin actually manages to kill ed burns

u should call burns, this thing writes itself

i would rather eat the remains of someone's vestigial twin than call ed burns

yeah good idea

dude u should DRINK the remains of the vestigal twin. in a gravy shot.

he may be the worst person who has ever lived.

he may be the worst person who's worn a beret

the worst brother who ever mcmullen'ed

so glad mike mcglone graduated from edward burns films to geico ads tbh.

lol every time i see those ads i'm like aww poor guy

"I released a movie called The Groomsmen, and it went out with the traditional indie or specialized film rollout. The problem with that is that anything theatrical is such a money-draining enterprise, and so unless you have a massive machine behind you that can keep that marketing and publicity up, by the time your movie got to Columbus, Ohio, six weeks after the initial opening in New York and L.A., an audience in 1995 might remember the name of your movie from when they saw you on 'Conan.' An audience today, we’re competeing with so many different things. So what we discovered was that the numbers we were doing were terrible, and we then also started to hear that there were a lot of people that the movie never even got an arthouse anywhere near them, especially if they lived in the suburbs. And my audience, quite honestly, is a little bit more of a suburban audience than a cool hipster downtown audience. So I thought, well I keep hearing from people that my core audience is not seeing the movies in the theaters so there’s got to be a different way to find them."

With his next film, 2007's Purple Violets, he took a gamble and put it out exclusively on iTunes. And it worked, financially.

"We did great numbers there. Compared to Moonrise Kingdom? No, but for a small indie film we’re like All right, that worked."

Video on demand was the next step.

"With Newlyweds it was an emormous success for us, so we keep trying to improve upon the model," he said.

This time there's a limited theatrical release since this season has hardly any holiday-themed films. Burns said he misses his movies being in theaters, but that the primary goal is for them to reach his audience, to get out and be seen.

"I kind of feel the way every musician feels. You really really should be listening my album on vinyl coming through a great sound system, and everyone is listening to an MP3 coming through a tinny set of headphones. I do recognize the world has changed, and people are watching these movies in a less than ideal atmosphere. That said, the great thing is that now we only take the film out to film festivals and film societies, and when you do that, you’re not playing on a tiny screen in the basement of Angelika, you’re playing, usually, at the best house in that town."

That's often enough the best house in some town that's not New York, but this time, anyway, Burns gets to experience opening weekend in his hometown.

"Those 300 people get to see the film the way you intended. Kind of like the handful of folks who still listen to vinyl," he said.

*cringes*

there was a funny scene in Groomsmen, but only one. Matthew Lillard was teaching his sons how to play bass and forced them to learn Loverboy's Turn Me Loose. I lol'd.
but only at Matthew Lillard I swear.

...

fuck I really just said that out loud.

Matthew Lillard is in the exclusive club of people who are worse than Edward Burns, though

i know i know i know i know

but there is one scene in human existence where he made me laugh. is all I'm saying

He's still making movies?