rolling college newspaper editorial page idiocy thread

http://media.www.dailytexanonline.com/media/storage/paper410/news/2007/11/20/Opinion/Who-Wears.The.Pants-3112061.shtml

The article that inspired the thread.

That's actually kind of amazing. I was expecting teeth-gnashing annoying, but that's ... that's entertainment.

Dresses are an essential part of any true lady's attire, and they should be worn.

you know what makes that even better? imagining the dude barking the whole thing to himself in the mirror with his shirt off.

Parts of it seriously read, both in content and in prose style, like they were mailed in by an observer from London, 1844:

The nature of sexual attractiveness in women is objective, immutable and incontrovertible because it is directly related to the constant and unchanging physiology of men and women. Pardon me, I must finish reading Vestiges of the Natural History of Creation.

i used to edit one of these rags :(

uncovered shoulders!!

So, when something like this ends up on your desk and you're short of column space do you just swallow your pride, or let your sense of humor take over or what?

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/character7.article.jpg

Or (c) convince yourself that annoying people = getting them reading / engaged / "provoking a dialogue" / etc

you publish it cos no one else bothered to get their piece in on time

it's that simple

has in a sense led to the slow whorification of ladyhood.

Unfortunately I'm the adviser for one of these things, and have to read them every three days. I get more examples of grammatic and semantic idiocy than anything else.

i used to get mountains of illegible copy from the various foreign student societies that i then had to decipher then re-write

great times :(

haha "dresses have been the symbol of womanhood ever since men stopped wearing them"! also he is in favor of the veiling of women's hair, which is soooo 1st century, that's hardcore.

i dont want to link directly from this page since im friends with the eic of my college paper and she already thinks im too mean... but go to www dot oxyweekly dot com and check out the opinions section (especially the work of one br3tt fuj10k4).

i used to edit one of these rags :(

you and me both. everything you've said so far is tragically OTM, and bringing back horrible memories.

although i wrote a weekly leader piece as well, which invariably posited misanthropy as a political panacea, so i'm guilty as hell, too.

didn't dom do this as well?

still i learnt quark which has been valuable in my career so far as...er...

i learned pagemaker, which i always thought was the mother of all uselessnesses ...

... but now we're moving to indesign at work and some of that old shite is proving remarkably useful. lo! it's the cropping tool! etc.

http://ryans-academy.blogspot.com/
http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/3060/morningsuitnq4.jpg

http://bp0.blogger.com/_s86TLJFQRZw/Rs2maG9JIxI/AAAAAAAAAUs/sNLbHSeLIe8/s1600-h/L%26K.jpg

http://bp0.blogger.com/_s86TLJFQRZw/Rs2maG9JIxI/AAAAAAAAAUs/sNLbHSeLIe8/s1600-h/L%26K.jpg

i would love to see some of dom's editorial comment pieces.

some of mine will be in a drawer near my left foot. should i remind myself? no. i'll go and open a beer instead.

me and my assistant tried to blag indesign for ages and we succeeded, only for me to leave and her to get sacked shortly afterward leaving everyone to wonder WTF was all this expensive looking software was lying around the place

i'm not posting anything i wrote on a forum where 'proper' journos lurk ha!

she got sacked?! WTF for?

http://badgerherald.com/oped/2007/11/20/islam_no_defense_for.php

Among liberals and the left, insulting Islam is anathema. Christianity may make for a reliable punching bag, but Islam deserves “respect.” Well, this leftist thinks that’s bullshit, and I make no apologies for saying so.

ive been writing letters to the editor every week:

Dear Editor,
Can't wait for M** W******'s sequel to his terrific "Westside Frontin'"!! It doesn't get much more original than making fun of people with bluetooth headsets! You're right, M**---they do look like they're crazy!!! And man, when he went after Wild Oats customers, I was rolling on the floor! Those darn self-satisfied liberals!! LOL! Maybe for his next column you can have him write 400 words on airplane food, or the different ways that men and women often act. Or hey---I hear that 80s pop star Michael Jackson is something of a crazy character! Maybe M** could find some material there?

Yours,
Max R**d

Dear Editor,
As an ostensible man, I have long felt marginalized and (dare I say?) oppressed, especially in the field of drinking! Day after day, night after night, I stare longingly at bottles of Smirnoff Ice, desperate to let the sugary taste of diluted malt liquor touch my lips, aching for the desire to woo a lady with a bright pink Cosmopolitan in my hand. Alas! The repressive structures of power that govern our daily existence continue to deny me my place in the holy land of fruit-tasting alcoholic drinks!

Thus, as you can imagine I was pleased to open my paper last week and read E*** P****'s informative and engaging article, "In the Game of Drinking, Men Always Lose." No longer shall I allow the cruel and unforgiving apparatuses that seek to restrict and define my behavior to prevent me from drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade! Ms. P****'s cunning, neo-Foucauldian analysis convincingly exposes those social constructions that have so long been hidden from us, students of Occidental College, laying bare the oppressive mechanisms of power that have for so long kept Appletinis from my mouth!

Who knows what kinds of articles we might soon be able to read in the Occidental Weekly---I have heard rumors, for example, that men are often expected to pay for dinner on coed dates! I hope the combined power of the Weekly's writing staff can help me wrap my head around the obscure social systems that have too long governed the behavior, and oppressed us human males! Thank God someone has finally revealed the prejudice I deal with every day.

Yours,
Max R**d

Dear Editor,
I can't contain myself---last week's "Opinions" section contained no less than three articles that I found first-rate! To start, E*** R****'s wonderful examination of Lil' Wayne's meteoric rise to critical acclaim pleased me to no end: thank God someone on the Weekly staff is reading music blogs, otherwise I don't know if I would ever have heard of the thrice-Platinum rapper! (And hey Eric---"chilling" has a "g" in it! Or were you imitating rap slang? ROFL! Great!) I was even more impressed by L***** C*******'s marvelous "Teaching Style: Getting Your Money's Worth," which revealed that the best teaching style combined both lectures and class discussion (who knew?) I'm glad she was able to remind me that my relationship to my professors is contractual---I'm basically their boss, and I gotta get my money's worth, am I right?! And what about B**** F******'s "Dream of Oldtownification," especially his revelation that Little Tokyo has an "authentic Japanese theme"? I never thought of it that way, but I guess the million-plus Japanese-Americans who've lived there since the 1920s have made its theme pretty "authentic"! (What's Eagle Rock's theme, by the way??) Can't wait to open up the paper next week!

Yours,
Max R**d

we don't have the bandwidth necessary to explain x-xpost

:)

i liked indesign though, mostly because it has v similar tools to all the ones i used in photoshop to paste friends' faces onto gay pr0n lol etc

R***y H****r fights back:

"Or perhaps that Max R**d fellow will write another sarcastic letter full of exclamation points and emoticons. Those were fun."

The gauntlet has been THROWN DOWN

o i will. believe me i will.

that young conservative columnist who got busted for plagiarism a few years ago wrote for the school paper while I was in college and plagiarized/made up a bunch of stuff for it then too.

whorification