Thee Deutsch Spray-On Condom

"With our technology we could spray a condom on an erect elephant,"

Let's see the Pope denounce this

so for home application you'd have a little machine bedside and once you achieve, you insert yourself and get sprayed like a little penis carwash?

Somehow I imagine this to be much more of a mood-killer than fumbling with foil packets.

To those who doubt his invention, Krause points out that inventors and scientists have had to battle skeptics throughout history.

"The theologian Giordano Bruno was burnt as a heretic because he suggested that the earth revolves around the sun," his institute says on its Web site. "Skeptics have a long history. Those who dare to take new routes have always had to battle the defenders of the status quo."

Way to defeat latexocentrist & Catholic views, you crazy revolutionary heretic!

This sounds like way more a moodkiller for real unless you happen to be in some Cronenberg film or prostitutes find an "erotic" way to apply them.

The guy in the picture has got wood

Apparently yanking pubes in caught in the rolled end is no longer enough. It is neccesary to yank all pubes.

if your penis is too large to fit into a condom, which is the problem this condom-applicator thing is supposed to solve, what are the actual chances of achieving penetration, hmmmmmmm?

also, apparently there are no Magnums in Germany.

"The machine applies the latex with a hissing sound."

The placement of this single-sentence graf is priceless.

What if you're too big to fit into the applicator machine?

still not too big for your mum

yea waht about teh pubes

if your penis is too large to fit into a condom, which is the problem this condom-applicator thing is supposed to solve

yeh, that's it. "i'm too, er, big for normal condoms. yes. definitely big. not small. BIG."

okay, so what happens when you ejaculate? there's sowhere for the semen to go! (except into your bladder, ouch!) and how do you take it off when you're done?

this is not consumer technology.

okay, so what happens when you ejaculate? there's sowhere for the semen to go!

that's simple: it bursts through the end!

oh, hang on ...

better off plunking your pecker into a bucket of grip dip:

http://samplerewards.com/images/Company00449/Product001899_lg.jpg

i want one of these just so i can explain to people what it is and why i need it.

i want to try wrapping it round my head and blowing it up.

"Sideburned idiot suffocated in kinky sex perversion gone tragically wrong"

mmmmmfff can't hear ... wha ... uurgh <thud>

Oh my. This thread made me cry with laughter. I want one of those things and I'm a girl. I think it has something to do with wanting to laugh at my significant other in a compromising situation.... And i can't tell if that's mean.

You can't tell if that's mean?

I forgot jizz can go the wrong way!!!!! It can't hurt THAT bad, can it? Oh, the subtle hilarious mysteries of the dick.

Is there really a "wrong way", though?

backwards not forwards?

out your eye?

onto your mother's sampler she was cross-stitching?

into your coffee?

or prostitutes find an "erotic" way to apply them.

I vote the spray-in-mouth blowjob