BEST DEATH WISH TRAILER (I - V)

TEH FEAR

"On November 4, 2007, Variety (magazine) reported that Sylvester Stallone was in talks to direct and star in an MGM remake of the original Death Wish."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernhard_Goetz

MEMBERS ONLY, BITCHEZ

http://film.virtual-history.com/program/17/large/0302.jpg

This is going to take some research.

The man without ... ?

Grace, apparently.

3 is my favorite
a friend of one of my best friends uploaded the trailer for 3

Call him a mad vigilante
Call him a hero
Either way he's always on target

When murder and rape are the crimes Bronson is the only punishment

In a world gone mad there is only one law...his

TS: Charles Bronson

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/IMAGES/54/039_8514.jpg

vs Charles Bronson

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/04_03/Bronson2DM_228x345.jpg

The trap is set, the fuse is lit, Bronson is unleashed

The one thing they didn't count on was an enemy that didn't back down

He's doing it for you.

De Laurentiis, Winner, Golan/Globus, your guarantee of classy filmmaking

Collectively these films represent the absolute nadir of cinema in the 70's and '80's. Even "Star Wars" was better than this peurile, hateful shit.

They should have done "Death Wish 6", in which BRONSON takes out the entirety of a major US conurbation with a nuclear warhead because ALL of the people living there are CRIMINAL SCUM or CORRUPT, LAZY COPS.

I voted for "5" because the idea of drug dealers taking over the fashion industry is supposed to make us feel as bad as drug dealers taking over the lives of GOOD HONEST HARDWORKING FOLK made me LOL and LOL and LOL.

III, clearly, because of the absurd reverse mohawk and head-paint on the villain.

And this time he's not leaving until his wish is their command.

I don't even understand that.
I have to admit to not knowing there was a V until this poll.

I is unpleasant enough but iirc II has a really revolting rape scene. Or is that III? Or I, II and III? What is it with Winner and rape?

roffle roffle otm.

DEATH WISH 2 (the only one i've seen) is revolting.

x-post wow yeah 2. exactly what i was thinking/typing.

Death Wish 3 - Memorable quotes

Kathryn Davis: I hope you like chicken. It's the only thing I know how to make.
Paul Kersey: Chicken's good. I like chicken

dw3 has one scene where they are looking out a window and its night time, then they cross the apt. and there is daylight streaming through a window just moments later.

the rape scenes in these movies are always excruciating - cf. Penitentiary II in which, IIRC, a woman gets raped to death

Still kinda weird that the Death Wish II soundtrack was Jimmy Page's first post-Zeppelin work

DW3 (I think) has a great bit where he sets up a giant mouse-trap thing by an apartment window and Bronson and some old dear are in the next room and they hear it go off and find some punk's front teeth embedded in the plank. Unless I dreamt that.

STILL FIGHTING KILLERS!

Bronson urges consumers to practice food safety during holidays
11/21/2007

from staff

Florida Agriculture and Consumer Services Commissioner Charles Bronson is urging consumers to follow food safety measures as the holiday season gets under way.

Numerous food-borne illness outbreaks during the past year have heightened public awareness about the dangers with various types of food items. From E-coli in lettuce and meat to salmonella in poultry, more than 76 million people are sickened by food-borne illnesses every year in the United States, resulting in more than 5,000 fatalities.

However, the majority of food poisonings occur as a result of unsafe preparation and cooking practices.

The Department’s Division of Food Safety protects the food supply through permitting and inspections of retail food establishments and lab testing of food products. But once consumers have purchased the food, it’s up to them to follow safe and proper food handling practices.

Food poisoning is caused by bacteria that are often undetectable by sight, smell or taste.

“People may get caught up in the hectic pace of the holidays, with shopping, parties and family reunions,” said Bronson. “Celebrations often center around food, including buffets that result in food being left out for extended periods of time. Even people who are well aware of safe food handling and preparation may be less than vigilant about following safe practices.”

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown

Plot Keywords:Architect | Sandwich | Mafia | Roller Skates | Revenge

John D, how on earth have you seen Penitentiary 2? I had to TRANSCRIBE that movie.

you had to do what? holy cow man. back in the 80s video stores in southern california had the most random, glorious selection of stuff, and some videos were just packed with dozens of trailers - one (a singapore movie called "the devil" I think) had a Pen. II ad and I was like "oh yes that's for me"

For inclusion at the Library of Congress, believe it or not. I don't think that woman actually gets raped to death, but it's pretty fucking nasty and horrible.

Mr. T is pretty amazing in that movie, though. The best part is when all of a sudden and with no explanation at all he's holding a genie's lamp, which halfway through the scene starts emitting purple smoke and then is never seen or referred to again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuKeUAavpnU&feature=related

IV is on AMC right now

when Bronson shoots a single person with a rocket launcher it's like the best thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ge2Slg56FI

Just watched the first one for the first time, actually. Possibly of more sociological interest than entertainment value, to be honest, though I did kinda dig the grimy 70s vibe. Also, funny seeing Jeff Goldblum as one of the thugs, and Christopher Guest and Olympia Dukakis (!) as cops.

Does it even need to be said that it simplifies the issue of urban violence to an insulting degree? Not to mention how very easy it is for him to not only find crime, but to become the near-victim of it so many times when he's flipped into vigilante mode (what, he'd never been mugged or threatened before?).

Still, kinda want to see part 2 now, if only because its one of Ebert's least favorite films of all time.

i think 2 is the worst big studio film i've ever seen in my life.

I don't doubt it, but anything Ebert gives Zero Stars to at least seems to be bad in some notable, not-at-all boring way.

4 might actually be the worst bc its so boring in comparison to the others

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown : Quotes

Paul Kersey: I was just using the... toilet?
Share this quote

http://www.avclub.com/article/heres-joe-carnahans-email-calling-the-head-of-mgm-105868

Last year it was announced that A-Team director Joe Carnahan was adding a Death Wish remake to his list of updated action properties that would probably star Liam Neeson. Unfortunately, MGM had other ideas, and Carnahan dropped out barely a month later over “creative differences,” uncertain how anyone could make a middle-aged revenge thriller without Neeson, unless they maybe planned to use a body double and digitally superimpose Liam Neeson’s head on it? That seems like a lot of unnecessary work. Just get Liam Neeson.

Anyway, Carnahan was publicly, fairly diplomatic about his exit, but privately, he exacted the sort of vengeance Charles Bronson himself would seek were he alive in 2013, writing a nasty email that he then sent to MGM CEO Jonathan Glickman. And now that email has turned up in The Hollywood Reporter, so everyone can read it:

You had a potential Oscar-winning film with maybe the best script in Hollywood but because you're a coward and a dumb cunt you now have an untested, second-time director and an arrogant, lazy, aging action star that will run that poor kid into the ground. Good luck, asshole. You're a spineless, gutless turd who doesn't belong in the business. Enjoy your run as a 'studio head,' Glickman. It's going to be a short one. Fuck you, Joe Carnahan.

That “untested, second-time director” is believed to be Gerardo Naranjo, who took over the project in March, while the “arrogant, lazy, aging action star” is believed to be Bruce Willis, based on everything Bruce Willis has said in the last couple of years. Meanwhile, the “best script in Hollywood” was drafted by one of Carnahan’s favorite writers, Joe Carnahan. As for Jonathan Glickman, Carnahan’s rep Simon Halls insists he took being called a “dumb cunt” and “gutless turd” all in good fun: “This is typical banter,” said Halls, whose friendships sound terrible. He insists that everything’s cool between the two old pals, with Carnahan working on a project for MGM TV, and Glickman keeping the letter framed in his office, where the two share a laugh about it before chummily punching each other in the testicles, we assume.

http://www.avclub.com/article/even-funny-death-wish-films-are-repugnantly-fascis-219675

death wish 1 is great, particularly the herbie hancock score.

death wish 1 is terrible, despite the herbie hancock score

http://www.chud.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Death_Wish_21.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_I4zqC7GN8

Definitely one to see in theaters, I'm sure the audience will be a real treat -- I anticipate some ex-marine at a screening somewhere will put one between the eyes of a Proud Boy for laughing at the wrong time.

... on second thought, change "ex-marine" to "off-duty cop" -- Marines have discipline.

boy is this not the time for this remake, hoo boy is this not the time

and ignoring all that, the trailer looked fucking terrible (I saw it at the movies last night). looked so boilerplate and pencil-dicked that I couldn't believe this was supposed to be Death Wish, some of it felt more like Analyze This in tone

wonder if this will be as dire as the Kevin Bacon "Death Sentence" crap from a decade ago

wow this looks truly sick and monstrous. everyone involved is a cynical POS for making such a movie at this moment, knowing exactly who it will appeal to and whose murderous fantasies it will stoke. the tone is indeed baffling though, with the AC/DC and the 'jokes' in the trailer... wtf.

yeah fuck Eli Roth

xxp The novels Death Wish and Death Sentence were written by the same guy and involve the same character, and are decidedly anti-vigilantism. i.e. on paper Death Sentence is Death Wish 2, but movies fucked everything up.

sometime in the last decade bruce willis was replaced by an angry peanut and no-one noticed

yeah and Brian Garfield (author) is still alive, wonder if this reboot is going to finally push him over the edge.

he actually liked the "Death Sentence" movie because he felt it captured the book's anti-vigilantism...which to be fair, it definitely did take a judgmental gaze, but the movie was shit for many other reasons, namely a lazy absurdist screenplay and well...KEvin Bacon.

Can't wait to see Armond pair this as "Better Than" Detroit early next year.

Also, WOW at Willis being attached to this since 2013.

One more thing (from the AV Club "Run The Series" piece upthread):

In recent years, the idea of a remake popped up, with a script from macho specialist Joe Carnahan (The Grey), but the idea makes little sense at this moment: It’d be like making an action movie with George Zimmerman as the hero. As the news ceaselessly reminds us, that impulse definitely hasn’t faded away. The best that can be said is at least Hollywood no longer celebrates it.