i dunno, that's actually pretty LOL. maybe it could become my new default EXCELSIORbation fantasy.

no no no no no no no no ew ew ew ew ew

THIS DOESN'T HELP AT ALL, JERKSTORE

THIS IS LIKE IF WE WERE IN A BAR AND SOMEONE POOPED ON THE FLOOR AND I WAS LIKE "LET'S GO TO A NEW BAR" SO YOU PICKED UP THE POOP AND BROUGHT IT WITH US AND SMEARED IT ALL OVER EVERYONE

ok wow this is what happens when you post something outrageous 10 minutes before the vortex in the knowledge that nobody will remember it :D

SO AWESOME A+++++++++ JOB CURT!S

xpost we agree to disagree then

xxpost LJ, you spelled :( wrong

IT'S EVERYWHERE

:D because i lolled
:D because i <3 crutis
:D because

POOP

you all suck!

i was hoping that the server move would have swallowed this thread

like an old friend

Great thread

Hey guys what did I miss? =)

this is funny because it makes people think of louis masturbating

Is that some obscure French king with an unfortunate nickname?

the third.

Louis Masturbating the Third?

ban

should we go back to the other bar now that the poop has been transferred to the new bar?

This is maybe the best start to an EXCELSIOR thread in years.

i went to target on xmas eve last year -- it was like lord of the flies

-- mookieproof, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:53 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:53 PM) Bookmark Link

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yow that sounds terrible

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:54 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:54 PM) Bookmark Link

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fyi never wear a red shirt to the place

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:55 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:55 PM) Bookmark Link

THE DESTROYER

-- strongohulkington, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:27 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:27 AM) Bookmark Link

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that shit can still give your taint a chemcal peel at the right volume

-- strongohulkington, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:28 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:28 AM) Bookmark Link

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you know what else can do that is a trip on an amtrak

-- El Tomboto, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:45 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:45 AM) Bookmark Link

Is Tyler Perry the singer from Aerosmith?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:30 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

God I WISH

"Dude Looks like a Lady" would be so much awesomer that way

otm

Is Dan Perry the lead singer of Aerosmith? He's from Boston.

plz to rename UHF "Aerosmythe"

no, sorry

plz to call one of your songs "Aerosmythe"

plz to call another one of your songs "Hen Fap"

professor, why is there no emancipation of mimi thread?!?!?!?!

-- max, Monday, November 26, 2007 11:58 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

(actually, that whole thread is rofltastic)

Only the Ravens could've fallen into a barrel of titties like that and come out sucking their thumb.

-- Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 3:06 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

FUCKING YO MURPHY! YO MURPHY.

He is from my hometown of...IDAHO FALLS, IDAHO.

From "THIS WEEKEND ONLY - ALL WEEKEND - NUDE ILXOR PICTURES - IN THIS THREAD!":

It must have been really popular, because every time I tried to access ILX at the weekend, the browser timed out

-- snoball, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:28 PM

Hand in Glove was about the OJ Simpson trial

-- St3ve Go1db3rg, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 10:27 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I had a date with RealPlayer once but she got caught in net congestion and didn't make it

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 6:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

it's crazy how much more obvious it is in this version that deckard is really a unicorn.

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:56 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Dear Abbott,

If you'd marry Tombot, could you take the joint name ATOMBOT?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 14:22 (Yesterday) Link

Or TOMABOT?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 14:23 (Yesterday) Link

If you married him, you could be Tuombot.

-- Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 15:28 (Yesterday) Link

I don't believe in marriage.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 15:34 (Yesterday) Link

swinburningforyou, shouldn't you get back to playing captain save-a-morrissey?

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

and Matt, you should get back to being some indie hipster douchebag that i'm sure you sneer at but actually are

-- swinburningforyou, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

and you should get back to sneering being the person sneering at a indie hipster douchebag sneering at a indie hipster douchebag that he actual is but you actually are

checkmate.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

haha i don't even know what i just wrote

eat a dick

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

A+

don't think this was mentioned in the thread but: beware the whole stopping/starting while taking a leak; doing it too frequently can cause a bladder infection. wow, real sexy talk :/

-- Rubyredd, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 11:03 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

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I want to be your bladder infection, baby!

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 11:17 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

o_O thread morelike

I'm scared of even going onto Rotten lest I see some man's third-degree burnt penis popping out of his bum or something. I fucking hate that site.
-- Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:48

Thread needs some funny posts in.

He1ges0n...my hero.

I already said sorry to Rubyred about that post, did you need to excelsior it?

I already said sorry to Rubyred about that post, did you need to excelsior it?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 15:53 (3 minutes ago) Link

Diplo@Guggenheim First Friday

Grady looks like the most fun guy ever to party with in every pic he's taken, dude.

yes

So I've quit porn. Partly because a lot of it is gross and makes sex seem unappealing, partly because I felt it was kind of numbing my sex drive and my imagination, and partly as a kind of experiment to see if it would improve my relationship. In the week since I quit (and told my wife I was quitting), we've had some of the most honest talks we've ever had and begun working on a lot of things we'd been avoiding. Whether that's correlation or causation I don't know. Anyone else ever try quitting?

-- Hurting 2, Tuesday, May 27, 2008 12:22 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

:'( I've always enjoyed your scenes.

-- Frogman Henry, Tuesday, May 27, 2008 8:58 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

haaaa

Heehee, came here just to post that.

I was grasping to come up with something funny to answer that. It really demanded it.

Oh my god, best Excelsior contribution in a long time.

dumb ass polititions get it sorted it is not rocket science running a country, a good single parent could do a better job.

• Posted by: WHAT4 •

-- chap, Tuesday, May 27, 2008 2:00 AM

RUNNING A COUNTRY ACTUALLY A PIECE OF PISS, SAYS SEMI-LITERATE MESSAGE BOARD POSTER

-- chap, Tuesday, May 27, 2008 2:01 AM

BTW, did you know that "coleslaw" literally means "curly slave" in German?

-- Hurting 2, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 4:22 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

if i was at a slaw tasting i'd look out over the long rows of tables, all laden with heaped platters of vinegary cabbage, and say softly to myself in awe, "that's a lot of slaw"

xpost: no, that is fantastic

-- Tracer Hand, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 4:23 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

no, I made that up

-- Hurting 2, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 4:24 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

where are all these hilarious hurting definitions

kids can move faster! if a 100-yo old man ghost came up to me, i'd just push him over lol stupid old coot LOL

-- Ste, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 20:57 (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Fuck me.

-- Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 18:13 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

1p3 is not a charity.

-- estela, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 18:48 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

btw that Hebrew thing wasn't a joke! Ba'al (husband), as I am told, has connotations of "master" in the slave/master sense and also has something to do with the word "pierce," and you can at least interpret the word (which is biblical) as "the one who rapes me."

quit it, you're killing me here

Can one ask too much of the internet?

I often launch my browser with the hopes of navigating to some or other website whose contents will make me feel connected and/or relevant to the rest of the world and its inhabitants in some meaningful way. But then usually I just end up here. Any tips? I use Firefox.

-- wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 1:25 PM

www.whitehouse.com

-- HI DERE, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 1:25 PM

WhiteHouse Quick Poll
Thank you. Your answer has been recorded.
Here are the results up to 15 minutes ago:
What kind of content would you like to see most on this website?
Politics
16%
Adult
47%
News
7%
Reference/Public Record
6%
Comedy/Humor
10%
Dating
7%
Gossip
7%

Can you get punched in the neck for using a word like "ectodermal"?

-- HI DERE, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5:51 PM (Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5:51 PM) Bookmark Link

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only one way to find out!

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5:52 PM (Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5:52 PM) Bookmark Link

one from the vaults (final fantasy 'he poos clouds' thread)

i am a big fan of your music owen i notice you seem to have some similar lyrical motifs to kingmaker and S*M*A*S*H i.e. defusing statements of devotion with comedy. is this intentional are you a fan of many nwonw bands?
thank you

dec

-- Dec, Saturday, 15 April 2006 23:25 (2 years ago) Link

It would be genuinely great if in the future you started getting magazine articles with titles like "Graphic Novels - they are not all just family memoirs!"

-- The Real Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 9:46 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

"hush! hmm! err!"

-- Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 9:57 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Although my favorite was when I was ctrl-F'ing an ILX thread for "anal cunt," and then the next day my girlfriend said there was something she wanted to talk to me about.

-- jaymc, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 23:21 (41 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

anal cunt?

-- gff, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 23:22 (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

I like to give things off the registry that don't break. I like to imagine the silver platter I gave the happy couple being the sole survivor of a collision with the Staffordshire mantelpiece spaniels after a spousal argument. Then they pick up the platter, think of me, and remember how lucky they are to have found each other.

-- felicity (felicity), Wednesday, October 2, 2002 4:53 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

hey mods what up

otm

http://lolrider.com/images/nemi.gif

-- ken c, Thursday, 29 May 2008 10:43 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

AHAHAH oh dear.

Hahahaa!

Where is that from?!

One of the chaki meltdown threads.

No, wait, that doesn't narrow it down at all.

Ha ha ha :)

Sad to have to say so but the only fat bitch posting on ILX today apparently has hot chick waiting in bed.

-- suzy, Thursday, May 29, 2008 6:51 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

This might not be kosher. Mods, feel free to delete. I lol'd. Poor old Chaki.

"C'mon, let's live a little"
(turns on jazz)

-- JTS, Monday, 12 December 2005 18:36 (Monday, 12 December 2005 18:36) Bookmark Link

Absolutely fantastic, better than Oasis and Blur, and among the best bands ever to have existed:
Ocean Colour Scene
Dodgy
Travis
Supernaturals
Kula Shaker

You can guess who said that.

why is it here?

Checking if it's good enough for a poll I suppose.

if it's good enough to lol, it's good enough to poll

t/s: aging comedian hiding his fatness in saffron robes vs. aging comedian shirtless and buffed in jean cut-offs

-- elmo argonaut, Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:10 AM (5 minutes ago)

third option

-- remy bean, Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:11 AM (4 minutes ago)

im not sure how i feel abt this egg in the potato on the grill thing - on the one hand i admire the whimsy - on the other im not sure you actually did anything

-- jhøshea, Thursday, May 29, 2008 7:54 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I POACHED AN EGG

on the one hand i admire the whimsy

this is gold

I POACHED AN EGG

That was a Sundays song from their first album, yeah?

Eggs don't cry.

The AskMen.com "Music That Enhances Sex" POLL

You know what they say, you can't make an omelette withing kicking a few boys.

Eurgh, "without"

Dom Passantino (London) wrote
at 12:31pm on February 18th, 2008
Just realised I've fucked three people in this group. That's depressing.
Report

-- Just got offed, Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

WELCOME BACK

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:22 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

ALSO DON'T DO THAT

-- HI DERE, Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:24 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

lolll

full circle, time for a new excelsior thread

agreement

Start it up