C/D: Sashaying into work 45 minutes late with a coffee in one hand and a delicious breakfast sandwich in the other?

hahahahahahaha i do this too often

classic for sure.

even more classic: being bitchy to anyone who's bitchy to you first, for being late

You're supposed to also say, "I can't believe you guys started without me!"

classic! i do this quite a bit

I know a temp who does this and he's been there for 2 years.

If you can 'sashay' it, it's automatically classic.

I like to stroll in at about 12, buying my lunch on the way, and then when I get to the front desk gesture towards it and say "fuckin ell, I'm ready for this, it's been a long day"

I am a temp

nice

I guess that is my way of covertly expressing that I feel no loyalty or shame

you are all fired. or fried.

the novelty of this really wears off after the third year

also, what is this arriving w/ yr breakfast at work? If I didn't eat a full meal at home I'd never be able to reach the door.

i am never late for work and i never sashay

i have no idea how i make it to midday without breakfast most days

i LOVe eating breakfast at work. i HATE eating it at home cuz i never have anything to look forward to when i get there. but there are like 20 threads for this

If I didn't eat a full meal at home I'd never be able to reach the door.

also, add coffee to this sentence

and replace "reach the door" with "put on pants"

lol

there's an image. The morning nude McMuffin ritual. Sexay.

There's breakfast at home,

there's breakfast on the way to work.

What's the problem?

I used to not eat any breakfast, and then nurse a Coke until lunch. I would be about to pass out by noon or so. I think I put a real strain on my system doing that...it was pretty unwise in retrospect.

I'd have to get up at four in the morning to enjoy a piping-hot American breakfast.

lol i do this all the time.

i have a bagel occasionally. I'm rarely in work on time.

Classic.

If you're the only one with keys, and your coworker has to wait an hour for your sorry ass in below freezing weather, DUD DUD DUD.

I kind of hate when people eat breakfast at work (where I have to see it, not in the break room/janitor's closet/walk-in safe, whathaveyou). The worst was this guy who always ate the world's most expensive shit right at his desk. He had five rolls of sushi for breakfast one day, right in front of everyone. I was expecting him to eat a whole seven course meal at his desk sometime. Yuppie douche, all teasing starving girl.

Flexitime at my workplace makes this entirely allowable (untiil 10am) and therefore no fun. Also I am driven by idiotic work ethic so wouldn't do it anyway.

Sushi sometimes isn't any more expensive than some shop-bought breakfast sandwich, so not too crazy for the occasional splash-out. Mind you, the cheapest sushi tastes like tinned tuna (try Tesco's sushi, or rather don't) so not much point.

I spend too much on food on the run due to same idiotic work ethic. :-(

i sashay if i'm early

No, this was like from the nicest sushi place in town, and it was an entire fucking platter.

I wouldn't have sushi in a red state.

some of the staunchest republicans in southern california are azns

Conspicuous consumption at work on an ongoing basis = dud. Your guy at work should be sentenced to Tesco's sushi.

He should be sentenced to eating his own shriveled scrot.

I would find it hard to sashay without a handbag.

On an applied Satanism website (yes, I know), I once read the theory that having food at your desk makes you seem herbivorous to your colleagues, as herbivores graze constantly in public; and, therefore, you are better off disappearing somewhere for lunch like a carnivore. This will make your colleagues fear and respect you more. I even tried that for a while. But, in the end, eating lunch at my desk prevailed over evil. I cannot beat the feeling, 'You suckers are paying me for this'. That feeling is unbeatable.

herbivores eat at their desk, carnivores have a sit-down at Quiznos. Yeah, I can see how carnivores are much more intimidating.

besides, wtf carnivores do not disappear with their food any more than any other animal.

http://www.imagesofanthropology.com/images/Lions_eating_a_zebra_Masai_Mara_Kenya.jpg

not exactly keeping it on the dl

Those lions aren't at their desk, though.

eat raw zebra at your desk

haha
but eating lunch at yr desk does look weak
and yet a late ordered-in dinner looks somehow focused and determined
(i do neither)

It looks especially weak if your lunch is an overripe banana and a pudding cup and a ziplock bag full of cheetos.

(nb I do not eat those things)

I used to eat lunch at my desk cos our office didnt have a break room you could sit down in. And downstairs was a busy touristy food court, even worse.

I'm not going to go out and sit down somewhere to eat lunch by myself. That's just as lame and weak as eating at your desk. If I have to eat alone, I might as well pretend to be working while I do it.

Maybe that's it, herbivores graze in solitude, carnivores all gather round in packs.

I wonder what your coworkers would think if you started exhibiting scavenger behavior, like our ancestry, just all roll up on some other bunch of dudes who just started eating lunch and steal whatever you can while they're busy chewing.

cause that is some balls-out alpha shit, make 'em chase you and then the rest of the clan gets all the leftovers. I'd be scared of that.

school cafeteria bully behaviour!

but really funny if you do it right

i mean, not in a bullying way

can he tell me how derivative I am bcz I've always been curious

you are the function of f'(x), just like God intended.

kenan what how do you remove a part of something when it is already a part of that something if that something is 2-dimensional?

metaphor.

i am having a v literal fri afternoon i guess

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton%E2%80%93Perelman_solution_of_the_Poincar%C3%A9_conjecture

I have been enjoying reading this waiting for my goddamn queries to return results. one of my colleagues is hogging the box, like 4 of the top 6 entries in top have his name on them

okay so folding in half, for example, a thing which is 5' x 5' halves its surface area. i get this. as long at the folded thing is 2-d. ok.

i'm not sure if i can deal with that sphere right now :/

IT golden boy for an art school holla. I didn't go to work

an hour and a half late with a DELICIOUS bacon, egg, and tomato on whole wheat toast

guys, my work has recently implemented a new time-clock that has a HAND-SCAN THING because apparently there was a problem with people punching each other in etc.

the creepy thing is that it gives you a SCORE based on your hand-scan, and i am becoming increasingly superstitious that this score has some direct co-relation to how shitty my day is going to be.

eversion of a sphere:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6626464599825291409&pr=goog-sl

My old radio station tried to install fingerprint scanners on the fucking studios and back door, as opposed to our little electromagnetic thingamajigs. The program director and I refused to submit our prints, so we kept on with the doo-dad's.

FIGHT THE POWER.

just do a fingerprint on a piece of paper and give it to your colleagues to stamp

the time-clock here doesn't actually scan your prints, it just does some wierd hand-geometry type recognition.

that is f'ed up

Hand geometry.

Hand scan, lovely:

"You will meet your true love next wednesday, also you have been late 2 times this week and need to make up 1 hour by Friday."

How Elmo clocks in:

http://i.pbase.com/v3/90/78990/1/46661541.Checkyourlovemeter.jpg

My voice is my passport. Verify me.

http://i18.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/82/35/788a_1_sbl.JPG

^^^ this is the thing

HANDPUNCH

No way I'm sticking my hand in that.

http://groups.physics.umn.edu/mmc/personnel/pete/Travel_pics/Pete_and_Amanda_in_Italy%5BJul-Aug_2003%5D/august%2001%202003/large/lg_04%20Mouth%20of%20Truth%2001.jpg

i do this nearly everyday, but that's because no one cares at all what time i get into work. i told them last tuesday that lol i am in a car driving to a different state, brb in a week and they just said yeah whatever.

i also make less than $300/wk

hopefully i'll be starting new work next week, where they/i actually give a shit

oh God elmo my college installed those things for the cafeterias. they were fucking obnoxious. i could never exactly guess what the score was for, it pulled up random numbers every time but it always let me by no matter how high or how low my score was.

cannot believe the guy in the break room -- about 28-30, ski hat, glasses -- who pours himself a bowl of COCOA KRISPIES every morning. Must be in IT.

lol

i don't do this anymore--if i actually go to the office i'm there by 8 at the latest.

but i go to the office about 1 day per week

TS: sashaying into work 45 minutes late with a coffee in one hand and a delicious breakfast sandwich in the other vs. sashaying into work right on time and leaving five minutes later to go get coffee and a delicious breakfast sandwich.

i love this thread title so much

it's pretty flexible where i work but i have been finding it difficult to show up any earlier than 10am lately, this really started when i got my own office tbh

I feel like when you're five minutes late, you don't get the coffee and the breakfast sandwich, but when you're thirty minutes late, might as well.

At minute forty five, you might as well just roll in on a skateboard, too.

c/d: reading this thread title and deciding you want a breakfast sandwich at 2:17 p.m.

man alive otm

it's pretty flexible where i work but i have been finding it difficult to show up any earlier than 10am lately, this really started when i got my own office tbh

― marcos, Monday, January 12, 2015 1:05 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol academia

since fall I've been the one getting the toddler ready and taking her to preschool in the morning, so just getting to work anywhere near on time has become quite a challenging feat, and I've been skipping the coffee/sandwich on account of that.

There are so many mental/physical tasks and sub-tasks involved it's unreal.

breakfast is the only decent thing most places offer

this is totally classic, haha

getting landed with a necessary 8am task has kinda been the only thing that has ever got me eating regular breakfast tbh but you can't get a delicious breakfast sandwich at 8 so its usually a cinnamon bagel or w/e nb no sashay but sometimes I pull a stagey tap move out of the lift if I think nobody's looking

i do this sashaying thing at least once a week except i hate breakfast sandwiches. they don't pay me enough and i go to work on sundays often bc i can't concentrate enough to get all my work done while everyone else is at work so it's their fault.

yeah, the noise is what makes it really annoying for me. i've found wearing headphones kind of ameliorates it though

I got written up last year for showing up three minutes late for work.

We get penalised (ie say bye bye bonuses) if we're more than 5-10 mins late on the reg.

All this casually rocking up an hour late BS is unfair, u fuckers.

i'm always here half an hour before everybody else and i'm too fat for breakfast sandwiches so i don't really belong here

One thing I loathe with a raging passion: the 2 ladies in my office who make porrige every morning in a bowl, sit at their desk, and spend 10 minutes making stirring/clinking/slurping sounds as they slop it about then eat it.

i dont know why but it makes me want to kill.

this is the best

though i admittedly sashay pretty quickly to avoid being seen by superiors

the world is bending to my will