Sucide: The Poll

ALL PRETTY BAD IDEAS

EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WITH THE KATANA, THATS BAD ASS

SELF-IMMOLATION ISN'T AWESOME??? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, YOU HATE TIBET.

A giant bummer. Not least because then your friends have a memorial service for you and someone twirls scarves around a lot and someone else does a tango on stilts, there is saw playing, and a bunch of total lamos get up in kilts and jump around. And on and on, for HOURS. Don't ever put your family through that.

Unless you hate them, I guess.

no one is doing a tango on stilts at my funeral, ok?

torn apart by wild animals

That's not a suicide, or even a sucide!

Or maenads, I hear they're a wild party.

ALAN VEGA & MARTIN REV

torn apart by wild animals

Feel my heart with your foot

Stabby to the chest, Elliot Smith stylee.

i think the drano option makes me recoil the most, i don't even want to think about the specifics of that process

ps tibet is ok but come on

Frank: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.

That's how they dissolve animal corpses sometimes, putting them in a giant bath of lye (which works well bcz the alkaline neutralizes after doing its job and the bath can go safely down the drain). It corrodes their flesh into nothing. That's how drano & c. work, but inside out. It's not so likely you'll die but have important parts of your digestive system burned away.

this is hard. i'd be too pussy to jump, wouldn't want guns or blood (no muss no fuss), pills have a high possibility of not working. where is head in oven?

Jumping into a volcano

Head in toaster oven

how would throwing myself on the mercy of, say, hungry polar bears not be a suicide

they probably wouldn't eat you

God if you actually want to get it DONE you shoot yourself. Aim for the medulla oblongotta: gun in mouth to back of the skull, not the top. This advice came from an anatomy & physiology lecture on the importance of the medulla oblongotta.

That's like "suicide by cop," shakey, ie you don't take your own life, someone else does.

how many people shoot themselves directly in the front of the head and still live?

well Bushwick Bill for one

o come on, polar bears are sweethearts

I met a guy who shot himself twice and lived! And he had one fucked-up face.

You forgot "drink self to death over the winter".

why is everyone so down on winter?

Anyway most of those options are at odds with my goal of leaving a pretty corpse.

drowning/hypothermia:

http://static1.bareka.com/photos/medium/2765876.jpg

Bell: Not so much really just sad today.

passout in a glacier and be perfectly preserved for thousands of years

Go out in freezing mountains and drink until you fall asleep warm & drunk and freeze to death while unconscious.

why is everyone so down on winter?

TOO DARK AND COLD, DUH!

a coach at my highschool did this. he was not found until spring when the snow melted, and had been behind the general store the entire time!

Death by Northern Exposure plot

!!!

Seems like the way to go if yr gonna be dumb and drink the suicider.

it had been new year's eve, and it was snowing. he wandered off and fell asleep

po brecito. :(

spacewalk tetherless into unrecoverable orbit and re-enter

^^^

lol "the general store"

http://www.themainestore.com/FRAME%20MAINE%20LOON.gif

trying to kill yourself seems really fucking difficult

i DID forget the carbon monoxide option. when i was growing up, kid down the street pulled ye olde turn on the car & leave garage door closed, go to sleep kinda thang.

i hope you're not speaking from experience, ruby : (

where is "throw self in front of train" option (or does that not count as suicide, suicide-nazis!)

no that works

I really don't think a heart attack qualifies as "the best" of anything, though, Kevin.

but walking into the sea is so much more dignified!

it would be really hard to kill yourself with cocaine, and if you did, you'd be going "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" too.

Drowning is supposed to be quite peaceful once, like freezing to death, you fall below some point of oxygen deprivation/brain function and basically "fall asleep". It's just the lungs-flooded-with-water part that I can't bear the thought of. And the impending panic as your last lungful of air runs out and out and out and your OWN REFLEXES damn you to a chest full of H2O....

I went walking
down
by
the river. . . .

laurel, the great thing would be i wouldn't even notice that my heart had just exploded like a hot dog in a microwave. i'd just be LIVINGLIVINGLIVING -dead.

Yeah, that's why I'm choosing (hypotetically of course) the tube of the junk, because it eliminates the pain factor.

xxpost

Junk gives me the creeps.

fuck the junk too, i wouldn't want to be rabid, foaming mouthed sack of shit who slides off into oblivian. i'd much rather go out supernova stylee.

better to burn out than to fade away, etc etc

i would like to face the pain of death

od'ing is a weird way to go. it is hard to grieve for, i feel like friends that have gone that way are in a weird liminal place instead of feeling closure or anger or any of the normal stuff.

IM DROWNING

kevin: ROCKIST!

I CAN'T BREATHE

D-R-O-W, I-N-G!!!

also, if there were some burrito-based method of doing oneself in i'd probably opt for that.

I just think with coke, which makes me acutely aware of everything around me, I would be totally keyed into the fact that I'm on my way out. If that's your thing, more power to you. Call me a wuss, but I'll take the poppy juice.

Burritos on the other hand...

speed ball

black capsule.

SOMEBODY PLEASE, SOMEBODY SAVE ME

See, isn't this better than posting all the lyrics in one place like some kind of supah-goth/emo/retarded poem?

GIRL I'M DROWNING!

Go out in freezing mountains and drink until you fall asleep warm & drunk and freeze to death while unconscious.

this happened to a guy i knew. it was more of an accident, though, and he lived for a few days after. don't know if it was painful or not..

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

<IMG SRC=http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lg86383-11+to-the-lighthouse-virginia-woolf-poster.jpg>;

what about suicide 4 lulz?

The punchline always hits the wrong note for real.

overdose while chatting on irc

told u i was hardcore

i'ma have to do a beat street flood

LAMPSHADE RIPPER

lampshade

ripper

i got a grip of drugs

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

okay, if this had been a year ago i would have gotten all sad and outraged. thanks to the pills and life just being generally better-- in fact, great-- i'm not going to do that.

so i give my vote for jumping. no matter what, there'll always be a wonderful thrill before you hit the ground/water/floor of NYU library/etc.

you guys know the whole thing about that floor, right? Escher designed it. from the top floor, it looks like you're looking at a floor of spikes.

http://gothamist.com/images/2003_10_nyubobst.jpg

Bobst Library was designed by Philip Johnson and Richard Foster. Escher, in fact, was dead a year before the building was completed and I find it doubtful he had anything to do with it.

They do look like spikes though. And I think the number of jumpers has significantly decreased since they put plexiglass barriers everywhere.

when i went on a tour of nyu before applying to colleges, the tourguide mentioned that the library floor was designed to look like spikes to deter jumpers. my mom was not impressed.

apparently bobst was huge for homosexual cruising. i heard lots of guys claim to have gotten blown under the desks in the avery fischer center.

hmm.. well then, i knew johnson designed it. guess tha bitch who gave me my tour back in the day (2002 holy jesus that was sooo long ago) lied through her teeth.

about Escher and the floor. sorry.

2002 - ha! mine was in 1998

okay, most sites i'm finding are saying that it was inspired by Escher's piece, "Depth."

well there you go.

and yes, bell labs, you're old, we get it.

waiting 'til i die of old age and sort of looking foward to it, that's a kind of suicide, right?

You got weird ideas about what constitutes 'old' Ian.

Or maybe I do.

oh, i was just teasing Ms. Labs! Old is Dr. Morbius.

it's ok, ian was born in 1992

too true ;_;

No AARP membership, no credibility.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.